Tag: first time

Ive gone down on my boyfriend multiple times and whenever i ask him to return the favor he tells me he’s scared and doesn’t know how to do it. He said its kinda gross to him and he’s intimidated by the thought of doing it…Im the first girl he’s done stuff with though. We’ve been dating 4 months

Tell him to man the fuck up and do it. If you can suck his dick, he can certainly lick your pussy. “Scared” is bullshit. He can google tips, you can talk him through it, etc. He has no reason other than his ‘grossed out’ thing. If he’s too grossed out by the thought of going down on you, then he can forget you going down on him! Quid pro quo!

Besides, you want to please your partners as much as you possibly can. That’s a natural instinct; to give as much as you receive. So for him to be so resistant to this is really when you need to start questioning who is putting who’s needs first? He’s being selfish.

I get being nervous about it, that’s normal, but he needs to push through the nerves and realize that it’s not scary, it’s not gross, and IT’S NOT ABOUT HIM. It’s about you. If he can’t understand that, then maybe you need to think about why you’re wasting your time with this guy.

So I’m always curious on being with a girl because Lesbian Porn turns me on soooooo BAD… Problem is i have a boyfriend… I mean who wouldnt love to have a threesome and i know he does and i do too but i’m such a jealous girl… I’m afraid he will give them more attention than me.. what do i do????? and how do i bring up the subject that i want a threesome?????

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being curious.  Secondly, it is natural to be turned on by all kinds of things — everyone is different.  Some things that might work for you, might not work for me and vice versa.  That being said, if you’re really serious about having a threesome with your boyfriend and another girl that’s something you need to talk to him about, first and foremost.

It’s easy to say that every guy finds a threesome with two girls to be the dream, but that might not be the case for him.  Sure, it might be nice to fantasize about, but he might not actually want to act on it.  That being said, you’ve admitted that you’re a jealous girl and I’ve always found that in threesomes finding a balance is incredibly important.  No one likes to be left out, whether it would be you, or your boyfriend, or the other girl you plan on adding.

Also, you have to think about what girl you would want to invite if your boyfriend is open about the idea.  Ideally, it would be someone that you and your boyfriend were both attracted to.  There are a lot of variables here, and you have to decide if you would be comfortable sharing your boyfriend, or if you would be comfortable experimenting in front of him.  I can understand that you want to find out if you’re actually attracted to women, or if you’re simply turned on by seeing them together — which, believe it or not, can sometimes be the case.

Basically, sitting down and having a conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel, that you want to experiment, and that you’re interested in a threesome is the best place to start.  If you do reach the point where you decide to bring another girl into the bedroom with your boyfriend and yourself, it’s always nice for you to set some ground rules, as well, especially if you’re the jealous type.  For instance, maybe you can both agree that oral is fine for everyone, but you only want your boyfriend to penetrate you.  Again, that’s just a handful of the things that you need to think about and discuss.  But you have to remember, this isn’t something you have to rush into — planning might not sound sexy, but being open and honest and discussing what you want and how you want it is only going to make everyone happier in the end.

— teagan

My girlfriend and I want to have sex. She wants to rub my clit and do all of that, penetration for me has always felt a little intrusive and uncomfortable so we’re avoiding that unless I’m ready. My question is, I’ve always gone fast finger wise with my clit while she goes slow. I’m afraid to NOT orgasm with her techniques. How do I tell her without her thinking it’s weird or uncomfortable touching me so fast?

Why would it be weird? We like different things. You don’t stimulate every partner you have the exact same way. There’s SERIOUSLY nothing to be embarrassed or feel weird about! Just tell her you like it fast? That’s what you do when you have sex with someone for the first time – you tell/show them what you like! Guide her along. She wants to know how to make you feel good, not have you suffer through sex with her! lol. Besides, you’ll have to learn how she likes it since you already know it’s significantly different from what you like. It goes both ways. Besides, who knows what you might teach each other? She might do some things that you never thought you’d like, but boom! Pleasure explosion. You never know!

Just experiment together, be honest, communicate about what you want (both verbal and by showing/doing), and have fun with it. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the endgame of orgasm/not orgasm. Because if you start worrying about that, you’re going to put too much pressure on yourself, you’re not going to be able to enjoy anything because you’re overthinking it, and then it will just be a waste! Relax. Enjoy yourself. Talk it through, kiss it through, laugh it through, fuck it through.

She will NOT think there’s anything weird about you wanting her to go faster/harder on your clit because there is NOTHING weird about it. Trust me on this.

I tried having sex with this one guy but I’m a virgin and it just hurt so freaking bad I made him stp before it was all the way in. Any advice on u kno… Loosening up?

Masturbate. And the next time you have sex, make sure you’ve done a ton of foreplay, have him go down on you, finger you, etc. All of those things will relax your body and open up your channel. If you could orgasm before penetration, that’s the best because you’re body is primed for penetration after the first orgasm.

Well, my girlfriend and I have been dating a while now, and I really wanna start doing more than just kissing. How do I go about knowing if she’s ready to do it too, ’cause I don’t have like any experience with this sorta thing….

You can go for “the talk” and directly ask her about having sex and say what you’re ready for OR you could let your hands do some exploring and see where she says stop and THEN have a conversation.

Either way, you’ll be having “the talk”. There’s no getting past it. Woman up and let your girl know what you’re thinking. You can start by asking or you can start by showing, it’s up to you. Just don’t go too fast or push too far. What you’re doing is testing the waters to see where she is with all this. Because, honestly, sometimes you don’t even know what you’re ready for until you’re in the moment and there’s a line crossed that sets off the “not ready!” alarms.

Figure it out together. That’s the most important thing. You’re not on an island while she’s on the mainland. You guys are in it together. Work together. Be a team. You’ll find your way TOGETHER.

Hi.I had sex for the first time last year but i didn’t enjoy it like when i masturbate.i’m addicted to masturbation since i’m 13 now 19.i feel so ashamed about it :(i want to stop masturbating @( a)i am afraid to loose him when he finds out

Uh, what exactly qualifies as addiction? How many times a day are you masturbating? Cause it’s really totally normal, even if it’s every day.

Sex for the first time is almost never good in the sense of purely physical pleasure. Practice makes perfect. The more you do it, the better it gets because not only does your body adapt, but you start learning about what you need to do to make it good.

If you’ve been having sex for a year with this guy and it’s not as good as what you do alone then you have two options to consider.

A) He’s a dud in bed and you need to break up. ‘Cause, really, what’s the point?

B) You might be too inhibited during sex and instead of showing him what you like/need, you’re holding back out of shyness, embarrassment, whatever. You can’t rely on the other person to know everything that makes you tick. You have to help them get to know you. Guide them. Don’t leave them hanging. You know what works for you, now you have to teach your partner to do it. Sex is about teamwork. You have to let someone else help you out now instead of doing all the work yourself.

Hi, I’m an 18 year old girl and I lost my virginity on my 15th birthday to my girlfriend at the time. She was 14 1/2. It was honestly the best sex I’d ever had, and I’ve had multiple sexual partners since then. Do you think that it’s wrong that we had sex so early? I’ve never regretted it and neither has she I don’t think.

If you don’t regret it, then of course it’s not wrong. You obviously chose a moment when you were ready for it. Not many people are prepared at that age, but if you were, then good for you.

However, is it possible that maybe you’re looking back at your first time through rose colored glasses? Maybe it wasn’t that the sex was so great, but that you were so happy to be with who you were with? She was your first. We all have a soft spot for our first loves, a part of us may always be in love with them. It’s a strange thing. Doesn’t mean they were “the one”, but they have a part of us that we can’t get back – stays with you our whole lives. So maybe you’re looking back at her knowing how much you loved her and it’s just that you haven’t found the right person yet that will succeed her. (You will find that person eventually.)

We tend to over romanticize/dramatize significant moments in our lives especially when it’s with people we care about. If it was subpar, we can blow it out of proportion and say WORST EVER. If it was good, then that can sometimes be elevated in our memories to BEST EVER.

Either way, if you’re still comparing sex with your ex-girlfriend to current partners today…you might want to take a hard look at what you’re doing and why you keep thinking about her. Why was it the best sex you’ve ever had? What made it that way? What turns sex from good into great into amazing is usually how we feel about the partner we’re with.

I had sex for the first time 2 days ago, we were both a little drunk but still, he used condoms the whole time. He went out a little rough and I thought it was normal for me not being able to walk for a few days (btw, I didn’t bleed since I broke my hymen from previous fingering long ago), but today I noticed I was lightly bleeding, and yesterday I felt like a pinch in my uterus. Was i ovulating or its the spotting thing when you get pregnant?

It’s aways possible that you’re pregnant, but it’s been TWO DAYS, so I say it’s highly unlikely and you’re worrying too much. You can’t even take a pregnancy test yet. I’m sure you’re just ovulating, that’s what it sounds like, but if you’re that concerned, take a home pregnancy test in a few days to see.

On a side note, you should not have had so much pain in the following days! You’re usually sore the next day or so, but that’s it. He was definitely way too rough with you, not even for a first timer – for anyone! If you were in pain when you walked for DAYS after…that’s not normal. Especially when you already had your hymen torn so it’s purely a muscular issue where you’d be sore because the walls of your vaginal channel had to stretch in a way they never have before.

This all comes down to the fact that you should have experience very little discomfort, not major discomfort like you’re describing. I don’t know what it is you guys did, but I really advise you take it easier if you have sex with him again.

I’ve been trying to have sex for a year now, I’m a virgin. And every single time my nerves make it impossible. I push the guy away and shut down. I really want to have this with someone. It’s not normal. What do I do?

When you’re ready to have sex, when you feel comfortable with your partner, when you trust them, when you trust yourself…that’s when it will happen.

You’re trying to force things when you’re not really ready. Your reaction is telling you exactly what’s going on and that’s simply that you’re not ready yet. Why do you keep trying to put this on yourself when it’s so clear that you just need more time and you need to find the right person?

Relax. Stop “trying to have sex”. Just get to know people, flirt, date, make out, have fun! Sex will happen when you’re ready for it. You won’t have to “try” anything. Your mind and your body will accept it when you’re ready to accept it.

When will that be? No idea. But it won’t be forever. Just step back and enjoy your life as it is. Stop trying to force things. It’ll only end badly if you do. You’ll share this with someone when it’s the right someone and you’re at a stage in your life where you’re ready to let yourself share it.

i’ve been hanging out with this guy for a few months and he recently told me he wanted to have sex. we aren’t together or anything but i think i sort of like him plus i really just want to have sex already. do you think it’s a bad idea?

It’s up to you. You might want to wait until you’re actually CERTAIN you like the person. I’m not saying be in love with them, but it really helps when you’re absolutely, positively INTO them. If you’re kind of like “meh”…it’s not going to even be worth trying. The sex will suck.