I’ve been trying to have sex for a year now, I’m a virgin. And every single time my nerves make it impossible. I push the guy away and shut down. I really want to have this with someone. It’s not normal. What do I do?

When you’re ready to have sex, when you feel comfortable with your partner, when you trust them, when you trust yourself…that’s when it will happen.

You’re trying to force things when you’re not really ready. Your reaction is telling you exactly what’s going on and that’s simply that you’re not ready yet. Why do you keep trying to put this on yourself when it’s so clear that you just need more time and you need to find the right person?

Relax. Stop “trying to have sex”. Just get to know people, flirt, date, make out, have fun! Sex will happen when you’re ready for it. You won’t have to “try” anything. Your mind and your body will accept it when you’re ready to accept it.

When will that be? No idea. But it won’t be forever. Just step back and enjoy your life as it is. Stop trying to force things. It’ll only end badly if you do. You’ll share this with someone when it’s the right someone and you’re at a stage in your life where you’re ready to let yourself share it.