sumptuousdaydreams

I’ve been trying to have sex for a year now, I’m a virgin. And every single time my nerves make it impossible. I push the guy away and shut down. I really want to have this with someone. It’s not normal. What do I do?

When you’re ready to have sex, when you feel comfortable with your partner, when you trust them, when you trust yourself…that’s when it will happen.

You’re trying to force things when you’re not really ready. Your reaction is telling you exactly what’s going on and that’s simply that you’re not ready yet. Why do you keep trying to put this on yourself when it’s so clear that you just need more time and you need to find the right person?

Relax. Stop “trying to have sex”. Just get to know people, flirt, date, make out, have fun! Sex will happen when you’re ready for it. You won’t have to “try” anything. Your mind and your body will accept it when you’re ready to accept it.

When will that be? No idea. But it won’t be forever. Just step back and enjoy your life as it is. Stop trying to force things. It’ll only end badly if you do. You’ll share this with someone when it’s the right someone and you’re at a stage in your life where you’re ready to let yourself share it.

Could you give me advice?? I’m 16 (girl) and I need to tell my mum I’m bisexual but don’t know how? She has always said she doesn’t have anything against same love but she some times takes the piss about it as well,what should I do or say to her to make her understand I’m still the same and haven’t changed one bit, need advice xx

It’s a bit tricky explaining to parents about bisexuality. I would try dropping hints first, prepare her for this instead of having it be a shock. Mention how you find this girl/that girl attractive. Talk about your views on sexuality, see how she reacts to the subject of bisexuality and if she’s resistant to it, then explain to her how you think it works.

You never have to talk about yourself, just hypotheticals and/or other people. When you’re ready, and you feel it’s the right moment, come out and tell her everything. There’s no need to rush.

If you’re dating a girl currently, then that’s another story. You would definitely want to speed up the timetable and be honest with your Mom about who you’re with.

But if there’s no one really in the picture, you can take your time and ease into the whole thing. Bisexuality is a gray area that many people don’t like, accept, or understand. If it’s not black or white, it’s a scary unknown, and of course it is human nature to fear and resist the unknown.

When it comes to bisexuality, for a lot of people, it takes a while for the concept to sink in and for them to accept it – longer than even homosexuality would. Being gay, while it’s not without it’s prejudices as always, it’s a CONCRETE sexuality. Bisexuality is still just a very confusing concept for people who can’t fathom how you can float from one gender to the other. The world is still very close-minded. That’s not to say that your Mom won’t understand or never will understand, I’m just giving you fair warning that it may take some time after you come out for her to REALLY absorb the information.

How do you know if you are in love with someone? I’m in a long distance relationship&my “boyfriend” says he’s in love me And that scares the hell out me because I don’t know if I’m in love with him.. We’ve been dating over a year&I still don’t know..

If you don’t know after a year whether or not you’re in love with someone, then you actually do know the answer…

Is it normal that I am 16 and I masturbate every day? Should I wind down? Do it less? Is it okay/normal that my vagina is red after it? (Probably from all the rubbing) that goes on there while things are in action.. help! I’m a bit worried ..

Totally normal! You’re fine! Don’t worry so much.Masturbating is a healthy and fun activity. Plus, it’s always better to learn as much as you can about your body to prepare for future sexual encounters. Practice makes perfect!

Some women have a vagina that “blushes” more noticeably so, yes, redness is normal as well. As long as there’s no itching or rash involved – just red from stimulation.

Carry on, soldier! 😉

What do I do with foreskin while giving a guy head or a hand job? Does it come up and down with whatever motion I’m doing or do I just push it to the bottom and try to avoid it or what? Thanks <3

Foreskin isn’t anything to worry about. It’s a natural part of the penis. It’ll go along with whatever you’re doing. 😉 It’s actually easier to give a handjob to a guy who’s uncut because you don’t need as much lube, the foreskin is a natural way for you to slide your hand up and down. Just take care not to be OVERLY rough because if you pull it back too far, that’s painful. So take it slow and see how he reacts, then you can up the pace!

Some ideas…

– If you hold the shaft and move up and down, the foreskin will slide up and down over the head.

– You can also pull the foreskin down below the head of the penis, then use short strokes up and down keeping the head exposed.

– One more… You can pull the foreskin all the way up so it covers the head, use short strokes with one hand, and finger/play around with the bunched up foreskin using your free hand.

As always, the best way to give someone pleasure is to ask them what they like. Everybody likes something different so treat each and every guy as a learning experience. Ask him to show you what he likes, how he wants you to do it. It can be really hot to see him touch himself and it’s great for you to know exactly how to please him (and throw in a few personal touches of your own to surprise him!).

Play around with it. Explore. Have fun! Don’t be afraid of foreskin! It’s not an alien. It’s just an extra couple of inches of skin. THAT’S IT.

When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partners’ body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goose bumps, and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other.

Sex is not a goddamn performance.

Sex should feel as natural as drinking water.

It should not require confidence.

Sex should happen, because the moment is ripe.

Ripening lips, ripening labia, ripening cock, ripening pupils, ripening state of being. Ripe and augmented and brimming. Your energy goes to your pumping heart, then to every external nerve, then to theirs, on fire.

You bask, roll, play in it. You sigh, moan, laugh.

It’s not about being “good in bed.”

It’s about being happy.

One should never worry if they’re doing it “correctly.” Sex is not factual. I don’t want your cookie-cutter sex, I don’t want your meticulously crafted, calculated, fool-proof fuck. I don’t want a show. I want you. Let your instincts, urges and whims define that. It’s enough.

What do most girls like? Forget about it. Statistics are meaningless when there’s only one. Hello, here’s me. Here’s you.

Don’t worry about taking it too slow. We got time. We got infinite rhythms, combinations, possibilities. Explore each fuck. Take our time. We can do a different one later.

Don’t worry about making me come. I’m here. Right where I want to be.

I am overwhelmed by wanting; you don’t have to convince me. I want you because I like you. So don’t put on a front. Don’t taint this.

I’m frustrated—it’s just authenticity I want.

It’s originality.

It’s passion.

It’s joy.

Don’t say that something I like is ugly. Don’t compare yourself to the rest. You will live and die with and within your experiences like everyone else. If someone thinks you are amazing, they are not wrong. Their universe is as real as any other; it is forged through perception.

I don’t care if you accidentally slammed my head into the wall, if you slipped out, if my arm cracked, if the delightful pressure of your wet lips on my anything made a silly sound. There is no right way and no wrong way.

“Good in bed,” what.

You’re good in my bed. I’m pleased you’re there. I feel it suits you.

Shove your technique. Let your memory swallow it. Fuck me like you’d fuck me, fuck me like you feel.

This isn’t a test.

(via wethinkwedream)

this is fucking brilliant stuff, wow

(via ethanonfire)

Someone should have told me when I was 16

(via gwenmcgregor)

This gives me shivers. Nailed it.

(via tendercollarbones)

Hi, im a girl and my girlfriend and i have been dating a little over a month. She says she just CANT cum and its not me its her. but she can climax and all that i can make her scream and i think ive made her squirt but she says it was just pee but i didn’t think you should pee during sex (i was fingering her and eating her out). I want to make her cum, and i refuse to let her make me cum until i can do it to her… please help?

I’m confused. She’s orgasmed but she can’t orgasm? She’s ejaculated but she hasn’t orgasmed?

Well, whatever the issue is, try doing something different. If one thing doesn’t work, surprise her with something else. Check the tags for ideas. I give a lot of tips on how to eat a girl out. Surprise is your biggest advantage because if it’s something new, she’s taken off guard, her thoughts won’t be as focused, and it’ll open her up to being able to feel more.

(I was the girl orgasming too quickly) your response completely restored my faith in myself! I just felt weird because my friends say they orgasm in 10 even 20 minutes and I’ve orgasmed 3 times in that time span before. Thank you for giving me a new perspective on it!

Honestly, there are women who would KILL to be able to have what you have. The average woman takes a much longer time to build up an orgasm and too many women can’t even figure out how to have one AT ALL.

So, jeez, just freaking enjoy it and realize that you are really…really…REALLY fucking lucky.

so im bi and i recently made out w/ another girl. we were friends prior and had both openly expressed that we wanted to. she was the first person id ever properly kissed and overall it was just… gross :( she would stick her tounge too far into my mouth and then just leave it there and it (her tongue) was almost //slobbery//. after like .3 secs i had opened my eyes and was looking at her waiting for it to end. she was really into it, which makes me worry; is all kissing like that?

NO. All kissing is not like that. You just, unfortunately, had a bad first experience. Dead tongue is horrible!

She’s just not the right match. Kiss more people! Practice makes perfect, but chemistry wins out above all. So it’s always going to be the PERSON that makes the kiss explosive, not just technique alone.

Learn from this experience, you know what NOT to do now. 😉