Tag: sex advice

Hello, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I want to give him a lap dance. I suggested the idea to him and he thinks it sounds great, I’m scared I’m going to end up laughing though or I’m not going to be very good at it. Any tips?

Try to relax and have fun with it. It’s a very “movie” thing that says you’re not allowed to laugh. You’re allowed! Laughing is sexy too. You can find a balance. A giggle breaking out is not going to ruin the lapdance. The more comfortable and confident you are, the hotter it is. Set up some music (nothing cheesy!), put on something you feel good in, and show him what you got. If you laugh, that’s okay, it’ll actually release some tension for you. Once you get into it, the nerves will fade, and laughing won’t be on your mind anymore.

The more comfortable you are, the better you’ll look, and the better the dance will be. Watch some videos to get pointers if you’re feeling a little lost for inspiration on the technicalities… 😉 Sexy, intimate, tease and tease, then tease some more with a whole lotta grinding.

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What would you recommend for preventing and getting rid of bumps from shaving the bikini area?

Oh, the joys of being a woman… Fuck that shit.

Razor bumps are the devil.

To prevent:

-Use warm water

-New blade (ALWAYS!)

-Lubricate well

-Trim before shaving

-Shave in the same direction of hair growth instead of against it (you lessen irritation that way). So generally that means shave in a downward direction.

-Treat the area immediately after you shave with a product that contains glycolic acid or salicylic acid to prevent ingrown hairs and/or inflamed follicles (that’s what those bumps are). Bikini Zone is popular and cheap, but I would ask around to see if other people have their personal favorites.

If you still get the bumps…

-Treat with a topical hydrocortisone cream until they go away (try twice a day). If you have itching, it helps with that too. Tend Skin
is more expensive than the cream, but it is effective in getting rid of the bumps. (Tend Skin is also useful for helping with bumps you get after waxing!)

-GENTLY exfoliate the area. Try massaging it using a loofah or washcloth, etc. Nothing too harsh though! It’ll get rid of the dead skin.

-Wear loose underwear (or no underwear) and loose clothing while you’re treating it. Tight clothes cause friction and irritation which will make it take longer to heal.

Did I mention that razor bumps are the devil?

imagethetvgivethandthetvtakethaway replied to your post: about 3 or 4 weeks ago my boyfriend at the time…

do you ever just wanna say “fuck this shit, im out”, damn people are clueless, it freaks me out. Dont people learn anything in bio class, at least.

Actually, no, it doesn’t. I don’t mind (though it does worry me sometimes…). Some people are really young and inexperienced. Besides, did any of us ACTUALLY pay attention in sex ed or biology in high school? I don’t remember anything beyond some weird old cartoons that everyone laughed at… We usually learn all this elsewhere, ie. our parents. (I did pay attention to bio in college though!) Some people don’t have those same opportunities for information so they go online. If being reassured is what they need or if they’re looking for some advice, I’m all too happy to help to the best of my knowledge. *shrug*

That said…

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1) Sperm is not an almighty god that can make its way through two solid layers of clothing, bypassing your tampon/pad, swim up your vaginal channel, your cervix, into your uterus, through the fallopian tubes, and impregnate a new egg while your uterine lining is in the process of shedding an old one. Guys might like to think of their ‘little soldiers’ as the mega dudes of their manhood who make miracles happen, but it’s just not gonna happen like that.

2) You will not get pregnant from a handjob unless the “handjob” actually means a penis ejaculates into your vagina. Or if semen is ejaculated onto your exposed vagina. Or you use a turkey baster to collect the semen ejaculated after the handjob and then insert it into your vagina… Okay, I think you get where I’m going with this.

3) It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that you could even get pregnant while you have your period to begin with. Even if you did have unprotected vaginal intercourse, there is an very, very small chance that you would get pregnant. I wouldn’t take any chances though. Always be safe. Shit happens.

Any questions? Thoughts? Ask box is open!

about 3 or 4 weeks ago my boyfriend at the time and i were fooling around and he ejaculated on my hand. i made sure to wash my hand thoroughly but there is a possibility that some precum got on my stomach. i was wearing jeans and underwear because at the time i was on my period. i was just wondering what you thought my chances of pregnancy were (as i’m a worrier and have gone as far as to look up abortion clinics) =/

You’re not pregnant.

I’m a girl (I’ve never had a girlfriend) and I like this girl who happens to be very inexperienced with relationships because she doesn’t address the existence of romantic love, and is bound to be arranged-married and whole-heartedly accepts it (for cultural purposes). Now here’s the case, we are really good friends. i’ve only known her for less than a year. Should I take a shot at it? or should I just let it go?

An arranged marriage? Wow. I have to say that is woefully out of my range of experience…

But it all comes down to this: how strongly do you feel about her? If you didn’t take the risk, would you regret it? That’s what it always comes down to, no matter what the details are.

Do you feel like she might be open to you if you tried? Because I’ll be honest, it is a real risk. You might lose your friendship with her, but then again…you might not.

How much do you want it? How much do you want her? That’s what you need to ask yourself. If she’s set on an arranged marriage and doesn’t give you any sign of being interested in you, I’m sorry to say you might be setting yourself up for failure. But if it’s worth it, if it’s worth taking the chance, then take it.

If you do decide to try, my advice would be to take it slow. Don’t rush into declaring your feelings all at once. Drop some hints, give her some signs, test the waters, and see what happens, how she responds. You can go from there. 🙂

Awk question but I’m in college and have giving two blow jobs in my life… not exactly experienced. Can you give me some tips? PLEASE. I want to be good…. ah!

How to Give the Best Blowjobs

^That gives you some specific details to focus on. But the biggest tip I can give? Even if you hate giving a guy head, pretend to love it.

Fake it with the best of them. Because even if you really don’t like the act itself, you do enjoy giving someone else pleasure, so it’s all the same in the end.

Go to town on his dick like it is the best fucking popsicle you’ve ever tasted. Lick, suck, tease, bob, play with him, do EVERYTHING. In fact, act like it’s your new favorite toy and it’s yours to do what you want with.

Your enthusiasm and passion is half of his pleasure. If he thinks you love his cock that’s going to turn him on 10x more than any trick you’ve got with your mouth. Just the truth.

One more thing? Different guys like different stuff, so don’t make the mistake of doing “one style fits all”.  Ie. some guys like you to start off slow and teasing, then go for it with gusto. Others want you to skip the teasing and jump right into the swing of it. Some want this fondled, some want that touched, and so on. There’s no ONE way to give a blow job. Listening and being aware of the other person’s responses and reactions is the best way for you to learn what pleases them the most and therefore give them the best head possible.

Go forth and suck!

For years I have been really only been able to get myself off by “humping” but I want to be able to explore myself more and use my hands to get myself off. Any advice on how to break out of an old habit and into a new?

How to Masturbate for Women

There’s about 1,000,000 columns similar to this online. Honestly, the only thing I can tell you is  that it’s a personal experience and the only one who can know what works for you is YOU.

Read about it to get some suggestions/inspiration, but ultimately it’s all about you. You’ve found one way that works, now it’s time to explore, try different things, and find something else that works too!

It’s a blast. Enjoy it! 😉

My boyfriend and I are really honest with eachother but I feel like me riding him isn’t as good as he says it is. Any help or tips on how I can improve my skills?

In this case, I’m gonna tell you to be selfish.

If it’s not feeling good for you (and it should be because that’s a great position for women) then that’s something you need explore for yourself. Try to experiment with different angles, positions, rhythms, etc. You need to really focus on what pleases you and what works for you in that position. You have the control. Have him do different things as well! Encourage him to play with your breasts, circle your clit, thrust up while you grind down, move this way, go that way, and so on! Do what you need to do to make it work.

‘Cause if it’s feeling good for you, it’ll be feeling good for him, trust me. On the other hand, even if it’s not feeling that good for you, it’s probably still working for him. Guys are easy to please. Men are very visual creatures when it comes to sex (and many other things) so they love when a woman is on top because they get to see everything. You’re doing most of the work and they get to watch, it’s a win/win for them!

So I don’t think your boyfriend is exaggerating or lying to you when he says it’s good. I think you’re not feeling very confident up there and that’s negatively influencing the experience for you. If YOU are feeling good up there then he’s gonna get the ride of his life! That’s what the key is: YOU feeling good about it.

Seriously, when it comes to riding a man, it is ALL about you. Go for it! In this case, he’s just along for whatever you want.

Hey this is awkward but you seem to give good advice and stuff so oh well. My gf has been crazy lately (i know she’s allowed to be)and she realized how she was treating me and apologized a lot and felt really bad but i didn’t care because she is honestly the most amazing and georgous girl but she doesn’t understand how i can not be mad and insists she deserves deserves punishment so i was thinking of just doing something fun (sexual) as “punishment” but i don’t know where to start, Any ideas? :)

Haha, well I’m really not the person to ask about anything regarding s&m.

Although, I will say that you shouldn’t call your girlfriend crazy. If she’s been acting out of the ordinary or erratic, I guarantee there’s a legitimate reason for it, even if she won’t tell you what it is. Don’t call a woman crazy, especially if she’s your gf/wife.

I’m pretty sure the reason why she wants this “punishment” is because she treated you like shit and you just accepted it when you should have stood up for yourself. (It also probably makes her feel worse about treating you poorly.)

Women want a man who will not only stand by them, but also stand toe-to-toe with them. Do you know what I mean? She wants you to stand up to her if she’s being a bitch. I’m not saying you can’t be understanding and let things roll off your back if she’s going through a hard time, but don’t let her just walk all over you. It’s not good for you and, frankly, it’s a turn-off for her.

As for “punishment”, again, I’m really not the person to ask, but I think an easy little experiment into that for the first time could be tying her hands together, leaving her at your mercy. Of course, you have to make sure she’s okay with it first, then you can have some fun.

If you’re a talker, then get into the role a bit. Bind her hands (comfortably, with a scarf or something soft) and tell her that she’s being tied up because it’s your turn to do what you want since she’s been...(insert whatever she’s been doing here). Be a little more forceful than usual, assert your role as the dom in this, touch her, tease her, have her suck you off, play with her body, get her worked up, but not enough to cum. (For me, that’s torture! lol.) She’ll be insensate by the time you actually fuck her.

Can’t stress this too much: make sure she’s on board and trusts you in all these areas BEFORE you try anything. Okay?

That would just be something I’d have fun with, but it’s not for everyone. Anyone else here have suggestions?

Okay so im kinda socially awkward with girls, I have simple conversations with them but it never really goes beyond that. So I dont have many friends that are girls, and I dont know why but I just kinda get nervous when I talk to them. So do you have any tips on how to stop being like this, and how to have more friends that are girls and even beyond that?

It’s normal to be nervous when you’re not used to it. But all you have to remember is that girls are just people too. lol. 😉 Don’t second guess yourself so much. Relax and talk to girls like you would with a guy (just don’t be a pig, remember respect). That’s all. I would hope that comes easily to you…

As for tips, the best one I can give you is CONFIDENCE. Now, that doesn’t mean being a cocky, arrogant, jackass. It just means being secure about yourself and who you are. Feel good about yourself and know who you are. That’s a quality that attracts everyone. Whether it’s just friends or someone you’re into.

If you want to be friends with a girl, talk about things you might have in common, TV shows, books, sports (if she’s a jock), movies, a party coming up, classes, etc. Keep it light, make her laugh. Everyone loves being around someone else who can make them smile.

BE YOURSELF. Girls know when you’re trying too hard, we see it coming a mile away, so just be yourself, be genuine, and you’re going to find some girls that really like you, whether it’s platonic or not. Girls are naturally drawn to guys who are secure about themselves and honest.

When you’re looking for a girl for a friend, she’s just going to be another one of the guys. That’s how you have to visualize it.

If you’re looking to pursue a platonic relationship, try saying something casual like “we should text!” during your conversation and you can get her number that way. Then you can text her and talk about whatever it is you found you had in common. It’s not a big deal, it’s just a way to keep in touch. You can text about “drama” that’s happening with other friends that you both know, some new event coming up. Hell, if you guys chat enough, you could start asking HER for advice about girls! It doesn’t have to be a huge deal because it’s not, okay? Girls aren’t as scary as they seem. (Okay, some are, but not all! I promise!)

Be yourself, be genuine, and be confident.

Those are the best tips I can give you. I promise, you’ll find the rest of the way on your own, and it won’t be half as hard as you think it is right now.