Tag: sex advice

Is anal sex messy? My guy wants to try it and I’m really only opposed on the grounds that I’m a germaphobe.

Sex is always messy. Anal sex is messier than vaginal, but just like vaginal, if you do it right and you use protection, it’s all good! If you’re a germaphobe then don’t try rimming (tonguing ass). Germs aren’t a problem if you’re using protection and you don’t do stupid things like go from ass to pussy using the same condom…

Try to use the bathroom at least an hour before, have several condoms on hand for switching, use lots of lube, and take a hot shower after!

It’s always good to try something at least once. If it doesn’t do it for you, there’s nothing wrong with telling your boyfriend that. There are plenty of different things you can experiment with that doesn’t have to do with anal!

I’m bisexual and my boyfriend and I already agreed that we don’t want to have a threesome even if we fantasize about it. the problem is that we’re currently having a loing distance relationship and will be for the rest of the month… and since he left i think about girls a lot… and i know he probably does the same (isn’t that what guys do? idk) but i still feel like cheating him and i feel so guilty even if he remains my main naught thought…

Everyone has thoughts and fantasies. It’s normal. The only time that it becomes a problem is when you cross the line between thinking about it and actually wanting to do it/doing it.

If you’re seriously considering cheating on your boyfriend, if you’ve reached that point where you would want to be with another person, then yeah, it’s time to reevaluate what your situation is.

If you’re just fantasizing about other people, that’s totally okay. You’re not cheating on him by having fantasies. If you daydream about having sex with…Amber Heard, for example, that’s not cheating. If you fantasize about having sex with one of your friends, that’s not cheating.

However, if you start thinking that you really want to follow through with it and have sex with someone else, then that’s an emotional betrayal, and if you actually have sex or even just kiss someone else…it’s cheating. There’s a significant difference between having a fantasy and something that you would do in reality.

Some things to think about.

my boyfriend ate me out for the my first time and i thought it was supposed to feel really good like everyone says but it gave me no pleasure, it just felt like i was being licked:/ is it me? is it him? i want it to feel good but idk what he can do or how i can tell him

It’s you and it’s him. You have to relax more and it sounds like he needs to learn what spots to hit and what RHYTHM means.

You can actually help him with this. When you try again, try giving him a little more direction, lead him to the spots that you know work for you and ask him to speed up the pace. Pay attention to the little things that spark and you can gasp and tell him to keep doing that. You have to give it time, breathe, and keep asking him to change it up if it’s not working. Go faster, go there, go here, down, up, in, out, suck, whatever!

If you felt like you were just being licked, then that’s all that was happening. Not good.

You can’t lick pussy like it’s a lollipop.

You need to fucking devour it.

There’s this girl that I’m inviting over for the summer, I don’t want to be to straight forward with her but I’m a girl she’s a girl and I want to see if any thing could happen.. I mean she beautiful and I’ve thought about her that way a lot, I want to do things with her that I never have,I think it would be special if it was her, how do I approach her , or make it happen with out it being a some one night thing I mean it’s a whole summer. I guess what I mean is how do I get it to happen?

I hate to tell you this, but there’s no magic formula. You guys will have a whole summer to spend together. A lot can happen in those weeks. You just don’t know WHAT will happen and you can’t know. You guys will laugh, do crazy things, do lazy things, you’ll talk for hours, you’ll stay up together at night, and you’ll be the first ones you talk to in the morning.

That kind of time together changes things and gives you more opportunities to take chances than you would during any other part of the year. It actually makes it easier because you become closer, more intimate, and you feel more comfortable doing things that you didn’t think you were confident enough to do before.

Just go with it. Be open. Be honest. Have fun. You will know when the opportunity presents itself. Don’t be afraid to take it if/when it does. Don’t rush things either.

I know that’s not what you wanted to hear, but there’s nothing else I can tell you. Do what feels right. Enjoy your summer and live in the moment. 🙂

Ive gone down on my boyfriend multiple times and whenever i ask him to return the favor he tells me he’s scared and doesn’t know how to do it. He said its kinda gross to him and he’s intimidated by the thought of doing it…Im the first girl he’s done stuff with though. We’ve been dating 4 months

Tell him to man the fuck up and do it. If you can suck his dick, he can certainly lick your pussy. “Scared” is bullshit. He can google tips, you can talk him through it, etc. He has no reason other than his ‘grossed out’ thing. If he’s too grossed out by the thought of going down on you, then he can forget you going down on him! Quid pro quo!

Besides, you want to please your partners as much as you possibly can. That’s a natural instinct; to give as much as you receive. So for him to be so resistant to this is really when you need to start questioning who is putting who’s needs first? He’s being selfish.

I get being nervous about it, that’s normal, but he needs to push through the nerves and realize that it’s not scary, it’s not gross, and IT’S NOT ABOUT HIM. It’s about you. If he can’t understand that, then maybe you need to think about why you’re wasting your time with this guy.

So I’m always curious on being with a girl because Lesbian Porn turns me on soooooo BAD… Problem is i have a boyfriend… I mean who wouldnt love to have a threesome and i know he does and i do too but i’m such a jealous girl… I’m afraid he will give them more attention than me.. what do i do????? and how do i bring up the subject that i want a threesome?????

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being curious.  Secondly, it is natural to be turned on by all kinds of things — everyone is different.  Some things that might work for you, might not work for me and vice versa.  That being said, if you’re really serious about having a threesome with your boyfriend and another girl that’s something you need to talk to him about, first and foremost.

It’s easy to say that every guy finds a threesome with two girls to be the dream, but that might not be the case for him.  Sure, it might be nice to fantasize about, but he might not actually want to act on it.  That being said, you’ve admitted that you’re a jealous girl and I’ve always found that in threesomes finding a balance is incredibly important.  No one likes to be left out, whether it would be you, or your boyfriend, or the other girl you plan on adding.

Also, you have to think about what girl you would want to invite if your boyfriend is open about the idea.  Ideally, it would be someone that you and your boyfriend were both attracted to.  There are a lot of variables here, and you have to decide if you would be comfortable sharing your boyfriend, or if you would be comfortable experimenting in front of him.  I can understand that you want to find out if you’re actually attracted to women, or if you’re simply turned on by seeing them together — which, believe it or not, can sometimes be the case.

Basically, sitting down and having a conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel, that you want to experiment, and that you’re interested in a threesome is the best place to start.  If you do reach the point where you decide to bring another girl into the bedroom with your boyfriend and yourself, it’s always nice for you to set some ground rules, as well, especially if you’re the jealous type.  For instance, maybe you can both agree that oral is fine for everyone, but you only want your boyfriend to penetrate you.  Again, that’s just a handful of the things that you need to think about and discuss.  But you have to remember, this isn’t something you have to rush into — planning might not sound sexy, but being open and honest and discussing what you want and how you want it is only going to make everyone happier in the end.

— teagan

My girlfriend and I want to have sex. She wants to rub my clit and do all of that, penetration for me has always felt a little intrusive and uncomfortable so we’re avoiding that unless I’m ready. My question is, I’ve always gone fast finger wise with my clit while she goes slow. I’m afraid to NOT orgasm with her techniques. How do I tell her without her thinking it’s weird or uncomfortable touching me so fast?

Why would it be weird? We like different things. You don’t stimulate every partner you have the exact same way. There’s SERIOUSLY nothing to be embarrassed or feel weird about! Just tell her you like it fast? That’s what you do when you have sex with someone for the first time – you tell/show them what you like! Guide her along. She wants to know how to make you feel good, not have you suffer through sex with her! lol. Besides, you’ll have to learn how she likes it since you already know it’s significantly different from what you like. It goes both ways. Besides, who knows what you might teach each other? She might do some things that you never thought you’d like, but boom! Pleasure explosion. You never know!

Just experiment together, be honest, communicate about what you want (both verbal and by showing/doing), and have fun with it. Don’t let yourself get caught up in the endgame of orgasm/not orgasm. Because if you start worrying about that, you’re going to put too much pressure on yourself, you’re not going to be able to enjoy anything because you’re overthinking it, and then it will just be a waste! Relax. Enjoy yourself. Talk it through, kiss it through, laugh it through, fuck it through.

She will NOT think there’s anything weird about you wanting her to go faster/harder on your clit because there is NOTHING weird about it. Trust me on this.

I have a boyfriend who I love to death, we are soulmates mentally and emotionally, I feel like we were meant to be together, and I think he’s absolutely adorable, but I get nervous of other people judging me for dating him. I’ve been told I’m out of his league, because he doesn’t meet the stereotypical standard of ‘hot’…he’s very short, but I am too so it’s ok, and he’s a little chubby, and people tell me I can do way better. I love him but it’s off-putting to hear that from friends. Help?

If you love him and you want to be with him, who cares what anyone else thinks? Do YOU think you deserve a “hotter” guy? Do you wanna trade him in for a six foot something dude with a six pack? If you do, that’s your prerogative.

But you say you love your boyfriend and if you love him, in your eyes, he should be the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen. Flaws or no. We all have flaws, but love really is blind. When you’re in love, you don’t see the physical flaws, you see the beauty.

You say you want to be with him, then be with him, and don’t let naysayers tell you otherwise. I guarantee most of them have never been in love or have found someone like you have. They don’t understand because they’ve never been there. What does it matter if they’re judging? You found something they don’t have! But I think they’re getting to you because, deep down, you believe it too.

I think you see yourself as out of his league…and that’s a huge problem. Because, deep down, you think you’re better than him. Your relationship is doomed if that’s the case. If you are embarrassed to be with him because of his looks, you’re not soulmates and you’re certainly not meant to be together. So own up to what you TRULY feel and figure it out. You want to let your friends convince you that you deserve someone hotter, go ahead. Who cares what his personality is like or if you have a connection with him? At least he’ll be a physical match for you and that’s what matters right, how you look standing next to each other?

By the way, I’m pretty sure your boyfriend has a much harder time with his insecurity about being with you since you’re apparently so “out of his league” that even YOU think it’s true. You might want to stop being so self absorbed for a minute and think about how it might be affecting him. You know…cause you supposedly love him and all that.

I am dating this guy since a couple of weeks. Last night I went down on him and omg he is huge! I have been dating a few guys in the past, but he is way bigger! Will it be able to fit in? It barely fits my mouth!

Your vagina is bigger than your mouth. Remember, we can push human beings the size of a football through there. He’ll fit. Just take it really slow, lots of lubrication, and let your body adjust. ENJOY!