Tag: oral

Does deep throating hurt? :/

Not necessarily. I mean, it’s uncomfortable because of the gag reflex issue, but I wouldn’t say it hurts… The only time it would hurt is if the guy is really rough with you (which you should immediately put a stop to). Deepthroating is uncomfortable, but many get used to it. You may find your jaw or throat being sore afterwards. The only time pain would occur is if the guy tries to force your head down or fucks your mouth while he’s in that deeply. If this ever happens, I’d be hard pressed to find a reason not to break up with him. I’d dump his ass so fast, he wouldn’t even have time to get his pants back on before he’s out the door.

Guys, never force yourself down your partner’s throat. It’s painful, they may vomit on you, they may bite you, and you are truly a gigantic fucking dickwad for doing it.

To help with your gag reflex, try squeezing your left thumb in a fist. The pressure point there is often effective to help people with a sensitive gag reflex so that could definitely come in handy for you! It works for some people, but not everyone.

The best way to do it is to relax your mouth, your throat, and gradually work him in deeper. Effectively “swallowing” him. Be aware of your breathing and make sure you take a breath right before he goes down all the way. Breathe through your nose after that. This is something you do with practice and you work your way up to being able to take him all the way in. Do not try to force his cock down your throat the first time! Little by little, push yourself a little further each time you give him a blow job.

It also depends on the size of what you’re trying to work with. The bigger they are, the more difficult deepthroating is. Please be aware that not everyone can deepthroat so while, of course, I say give it a shot and try it, don’t force yourself! Some people simply cannot do it and that’s okay!

my boyfriend gave me oral for the first time ever tonight and he tried so hard to get me off and it felt so good but i felt like uit was taking me so long to even get close. and once i got close i never really got close and i just started losing it and he felt like he was a failure cos he couldnt get me to come. ive never orgasmed before and i just feel bad cos everything he did felt amazing but i just didnt come and i think hes even more disappointed than i am :/

Aw, that’s so sweet! It’s common not to orgasm the first time someone goes down on you (especially if the person giving it is inexperienced). I’m sure he was disappointed because no guy wants to let you down! He wanted to please you! Just reassure him that you did enjoy yourself and tell him that you really want to try it again (and again…and again…and again…).

The key to oral is rhythm and never BREAKING that rhythm. So my advice is that when he hits a good spot or does something that you really like, make sure he KEEPS doing that and don’t fucking let him stop! It’s about working you up, finding that pace, and then keeping a steady/increasing rhythm until you break!

Try to help him more next time, give him guidance, lead him where you want him, and if he does something really good, physically hold him there and tell him to keep going just like that!

He’s not a failure – I know you know that – but guys shoulder a lot of the burden and the ones who care about your pleasure really take it hard when it seems like they’re unable to give you what you need. Again, reassure him that you enjoyed yourself and you really want him to do it again. (Don’t overcompensate by drawing attention to your lack of orgasm, that makes it worse, just continue to show sexual interest in him and an eagerness for more.)

Sex is all about experimenting. The more you experiment, the more you learn, the better you get. So…tell him to get back down there and try again! The sooner the better! And make sure you relax! You guys will find a way to make it happen.

I recently gave my boyfriend head for the first time, and he loved it. But I’m not sure if it’s the same for men as it is for women. When I orgasm, my clit is very sensitive so I don’t like him to continue giving me head after I finally do cum. But after a man cums, is he very sensitive down there? I can’t tell if I should swallow and then keep giving him a BJ for a little while longer, or just stop.

The absolute best thing you can do in this situation? Ask him. Talk to him about it. See what HE likes. Every guy is different.

However, yes, they get super sensitive after ejaculating, but you can gently continue for about 15 seconds after, licking his shaft and/or holding the base of his cock, just as a nice way to bring him down. Avoid the head/tip! That’s the most sensitive area and it’ll be way too sensitive for you to go near.

Some guys like it when you show a little love after they orgasm and some want you off their cock ASAP cause it’s too much. All based on personal preference! That’s why you should ask. 🙂

As for you though…I know how sensitive the clit is after orgasm, BUT women have the capacity for multiple orgasms and men do not! We were built for rapid-fire orgasms! Men need time to recover in order to work their way up again, but after a woman orgasms, she’s still aroused and can climax two or three more times much more easily and quickly after the first.

So instead of stopping altogether right after you climax, have him kiss you, play with your nipples, rub your thighs, and then after a couple minutes, go back down and continue giving you oral! He should avoid the clit when starting again, have him focus on other areas and stimulating the G-Spot with his fingers, then eventually come back to the clit. It’ll feel like it’s almost too much for you but then you’re going to EXPLODE. It’s fabulous.

Women are unfortunately far too neglected when it comes to sex, whether it’s because of lack of knowledge and education about our bodies or because of selfish partners. So you should take advantage of what we truly have to offer ourselves!

The key to multiple orgasms for women is to continue stimulation after the first climax. Kissing, rubbing, touching, grinding, humping, etc. All until you’re revved up and ready to go full speed again, which will happen within a few minutes! You need to keep your body cresting somewhere at the peak of arousal and you will have orgasms galore. He can eat you out, orgasm 1, then finger you and eat you out, orgasm 2, put his cock inside you at a particular position that stimulates the G-spot and the clit, orgasm 3 – lather rinse repeat! You can do this all night!

Men…however…you have to find a guy who can keep up 😉 Guys love to claim they have the stamina for all nighters, but when push comes to shove, they typically fall short of the finish line. It’s okay though! It’s not a test of natural sexual prowess (like guys think), but just something that comes with experience. Stamina is about endurance and the only way to build up endurance is through training. The more you do it, the more you push yourself a little more each time, the more endurance you’ll have!

Men, on average (it varies for each man, especially with age!), need a refractory period of 15-20 minutes before they can even think about going again. Women do not! In fact, that 15-20 min period will lessen our chances for a second or third orgasm. Good news is, men don’t have to use their cocks to please you so if your man is eager and willing, you can have plenty of fun without having to wait.

So your homework for tonight is to talk to your boyfriend, experiment with what he’d like after a BJ, and get cracking on some multiple orgasms for yourself! Report back and I’ll give you your grade. Don’t worry, I give points for effort. 😉

Hey I’m girl who was nervous about her bf eating her out. Well, I was still feeling awkward about the whole thing so i talked to him and he basically said he wanted to eat me out to get me off cos it’d feel good for me and he wants me to feel good. And basically I thought it was really sweet and hot at the same time and we didn’t actually do anything yet cos his parents were downstairs, but he’s invited me over today and I’m so nervous and excited? Any tips?

I think it’s great that you talked to him about it! Good for you! Honesty in these situations is the best possible solution.

It’s hard to give tips for someone RECEIVING oral, but basically…make sure you’re freshly waxed/shaved, take a quick shower to clean up, and from there it’s all about relaxing and feeling good! Close your eyes, give yourself over, breathe deeply, and let him do some work.

If he’s not really getting it right or doing something outright WRONG, don’t hesitate to correct him. By ‘correct him’, I mean encourage him to do something else – ie. push his head slightly to where you want to feel him or whisper/moan what it is you want him to do. Tell him to use his tongue, tell him to go faster or slower or to be more gentle or to go harder, you get the point! Just don’t be afraid to ask for what you want.

The trick is to do it without making it seem like you’re criticizing him and don’t forget to give him a little bit of encouragement/praise when he’s doing something that feels really good! You don’t have to say it if you feel awkward talking, but moaning or pulling him closer will show him that he’s getting it right and it’ll help him please you better once he knows what’s working for you!

Again, just remember that it’s all about you in this moment and you’re allowed to be selfish about what you want (he said it himself, he wants to make YOU feel good!) so be calm and enjoy it! Don’t be afraid to laugh or giggle in the beginning. It’ll help your nerves. 🙂

My boyfriend wants to eat me out but ive never done it before&He knows that. Hes so sweet but im so incredibly nervous What if i smell? What if i taste bad? What if he doesnt like what he sees or just doesnt like me down there at all? Agdjdndnc

Look, your boyfriend wants to go down on you…SO LET HIM! Do you know how many girls have to push and needle their boyfriends into giving them head? Guys are selfish assholes. Your boyfriends WANTS to give you extra attention!

I know it’s nerve wracking the first time and you feel really vulnerable in that position, but it’s all going to be just fine! Whatever nerves you have, just laugh them off, be playful and silly, enjoy yourself. Don’t take it so seriously. The only way you’re going to enjoy it is if you relax.

Trust me, if you smell bad or taste bad, you would know about it. Just shower before you do anything and you’ll feel more confident about the whole cleanliness issue. It’s not a matter of whether or not he’s going to like it down there, it’s a matter of whether or not he’s going to be any good at it! Honestly, he has ten thousand more reasons to be nervous and worried about this than you do – he’s the one who has to perform! 😉

Approach it with a sense of humor and be confident. Your job is to help him go to all the right places and enjoy what he’s doing to you, nothing more. He’s asking you for this, not the other way around, so let him make you feel good. That’s going to be the biggest turn on/pay off for him. 🙂

I’m a lesbian. I’ve never gone done on a girl but I want to with me girlfriend. Help? Tips?

First, think about what you like and what you would want done to you. That’s your starting point. If you’ve had someone eat you out before, pick through the good points and the bad points and apply it here.

I answered a guy about this with some tips a while ago and even though it’s for a slightly more specific situation, it still applies for you as well. So read here.

– The biggest mistake you can make is letting it be all about the clit. The clit is super important, yes!, but it’s not the only thing down there! Use your mouth and tongue to explore EVERYTHING.

– Tease a little bit before you dive right in. Lick up her thighs, kiss your way up her thighs, and kiss the outside of her lips before spreading her open. Feeling your breath on her there or close to there will drive her wild.

– Use your tongue. Your whole tongue. Flatten it out. Use just the tip. Lick her like an ice cream cone. Flick it. Use gentle strokes. As her excitement builds, add more pressure. Focus more on the area around her clit instead of the clit directly.

– You can take her clit in your mouth. Suck gently. Release. Gentle flicking can send her over the edge.

– Use your hands. Place your hands under her butt and gently lift her towards your mouth. Reach up and stroke her nipples. Slip a finger in, then two, or three, depending on how tight she is. Start slow, work your way up to a steady, faster pace. To stimulate her G-Spot, have your palm facing up and hook your fingers towards the top of her channel, massaging the spongy-like spot there (it’s about 3cm in). Remember, what your fingers are doing need to be done in tune with what your tongue is doing. Both together will send her flying.

– Circles. Do you know what I mean by circles? You should know.

– Rhythm is be all end all. You want to ALWAYS have a rhythm going. Be it the motion of your fingers in time with the flicks of your tongue or the way you lap at her, anything! Everything needs to be done at a steady and increasing or decreasing pace. Work her up, let her down, bring her back up again, (and shake it all about?).

– Pay attention to how she reacts. If she raises her hips to meet your lips, GOOD. She should be getting wet and her pussy lips should swell a bit with arousal. If she starts moaning and trembling, keep doing what you’re doing. Rapid breathing and writhing around are good things. Duhhhh. If she grabs your hair and pushes you in for more, things are definitely going well. Listen to her breathing, watch her muscle contractions, take note of what her hands and her body is doing.

– If you feel a bit lost or unsure, talk to her, ask her to direct you to where she wants you to be. Ask her what she wants, what she likes. Or maybe you just want a verbal confirmation that you’re on the right track. That’s fine! Communication is key. You just want to be able to utilize both verbal and non-verbal forms of communication. All women are different and ultimately complex. Some women love having their clits stroked, others are too sensitive. What turned her on one day, may not work the next. Some want penetration, some don’t! So talk, be in tune with her responses, and have fun with it. Don’t psych yourself out. This is something enjoyable and something for you to play with, not to freak out over with every excruciating detail.

Go forth and eat pussy!

How do you avoid grazing your teeth on the penis when you are giving a blow job? I’m afraid I will hurt the guy when I finally do give one:/

Wrap your lips over your teeth and make sure your lips are wet so it slides in and out easily. The wetter the better when it comes to BJs.

Darling, it’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me!

Sorry. I digress…

It’s like a popsicle – you use your lips and your tongue to control it, suck on it, lick it, etc. Basically, use your lips as a shield to prevent your teeth from grazing him.

You’re not going to hurt him, I promise. He’ll love whatever you do! (You already know not to let your teeth touch him and that’s one the most common mistakes women make when first starting to give BJs!)

Stupid question, i really want to make my boyfriend come I’ve given him hj and bj but i always stop early because i dont know what its going to be like. i love the fact that i get to please him and i’m ready to be doing all that. i hate the fact that i tease him and never let him release! but yeah what should i do? should i have a chat to him about it?

Definitely talk to him! If you’re feeling nervous about it, you need to explain exactly that to him – let him know what it is your feeling/thinking. Guys need us to spell it out for them, they respond well to a direct “this is what’s going on” approach. They do not understand mixed messages and get confused very easily so the best form of communication is the one that is as straightforward and honest as possible.

What is it exactly that you’re worried about? Some white stuff is gonna come out and you just wipe it off with whatever you have handy. That’s it really. Just make sure you’re not in the way so it doesn’t get on your clothes and make a mess. Also don’t let it get in your eyes! Burns like a mofo. 😉

If you’re really worried about taking it all the way to the finish line,  try this: do what you usually do and then when he gets close, instead of stopping altogether, have him take over. Tell him to finish himself off. So he’ll jack off in front of you and you can watch and see for yourself without worrying about the responsibility. He’ll think it’s hot if you ask – anything so that he gets to come! Once you see it the first time, it’ll never be a big deal again, haha.

Do you want me to post some “cum shot” gifs for you so you have an idea of what it’s going to look like?

Dumb question, when a guy eats you out is there anything you are supposed to do while he is doing the deed? And another dumb question, will he think the v is gross and ugly? I always thought mine was kinda ugly, but that’s just me:p

Your vagina is a beautiful flower. WORSHIP THE V. It does magical things.

When a guy is eating you out, your only job is to enjoy it and do whatever you want to make it more enjoyable for you. Hump his face, grab his hair, push him to where you want him to go, hold him there, roll your hips, WHATEVER YOU WANT. If you’re not enjoying it, then there’s a real problem there and you need to correct it ASAP. You can start by giving him some instructions during.

It’s all about you when you’re getting eaten out so be as selfish as possible because that’s the only way it’s gonna be any good! In that moment, your partner is there to please YOU. So take advantage of that.

Not dumb questions. 😉

I was wondering if you had any pointers on eating a girl out? My girlfriend’s clit is VERY sensitive and the times I’ve have gone down on her have been okay, but it would be nice if I could bring her to an orgasm. Usually she ends up stopping me at some point, so that isn’t great…I have asked her for any tips, but she says she’s not sure what I should do. So do you have any? btw, I am a guy, and I’m pretty new at this, but it is exciting.

Well, I love that you’re a guy and asking about this! Any guy who wants to learn more about oral so he can please his partner is just fantastic. YES, IT IS EXCITING! haha. Too often guys are just all about them when it comes to sex and they think they know everything, so kudos to you for wanting to do better for your girl!

Now, it sounds like you’re focusing too much direct attention on her clit, especially if she’s oversensitive. So I think the goal for you is to work AROUND the clit instead of touching it directly. The clit is EXTREMELY sensitive and full of thousands of pleasure nerves so bear that in mind when you’re eating her out. Manhandling the clit or going straight to it before any kind of foreplay is a NO-NO. You need to be aware of how sensitive it is and work accordingly. The head of your penis is super sensitive, right? Well, the clit has TWICE the amount of nerve endings that the tip of your penis does. Think about that! While you love direct contact there, she’s experiencing TWICE the amount of sensation that you would, and for some women, it’s often too much that it’s painful. So stimulating the surrounding areas will send all the right messages to the pleasure “center” without the clit needing to be touched directly.

Porn is incredibly misleading and often shows a quick, rough, direct stimulation of the clit, and that’s not what works for most women. So you have to adjust your thinking on that.

Here are some ideas:

– Put PRESSURE on the hood of the clit using your tongue or fingers, but don’t rub it or suck on it! Pressure will stimulate the nerves there without it being too much. You can try flattening your tongue and gently putting pressure on the clit while using your fingers to pump in and out of her. Don’t move your goddamn tongue though! That’ll be too much. Another example of pressure is to take two fingers, place them on either side of the clit (in ‘V’) and push down there while letting your tongue go to town on the rest of her pussy. There’s several different places you can apply pressure to, so experiment, and see what she likes the best! Don’t just rely on her body’s reaction to tell you if it works. Talk to her, ask her how it feels, because men often misinterpret a physical reaction as “good” when really it’s the opposite and then women feel embarrassed to have to correct them. If you show openness and willingness for correction (don’t feel ashamed if she tells you she wants something different – it’s all about learning!) then you’ll get the best experience possible.

– Vibrations are awesome for indirect stimulation so try humming when you’re working down there. (Whole new meaning to whistle while you work!) She may like it, she may not. It’s different for every woman.

– The area around the clit is really sensitive as well, so use your mouth and fingers to work on that without ever actually coming into direct contact with her clit (or as little contact as possible). Also, the area around the vaginal opening (the hole you put your dick in) has a lot of nerve endings! Try playing around there with your tongue and your fingers – start off gently and work your way up to being a little firmer until you figure out what the right balance is for your girlfriend. She’ll start to understand what’s working for her and where her specific spots are so make sure she tells you where it feels really good and you can work on that. Warning: if you find one erogenous spot, DO NOT stop looking for more. It’s good to pay attention to that spot and keep that in your mind, but do not stop there and only focus on that one place. There are so many more for you to discover. One or two is NOT good enough! KEEP GOING!

– Try different positions with her. Changing up the angles can help even when it’s oral. She can sit on your face, she can turn over so you can eat her out from behind, you can put a pillow under her hips, etc.

– Communication is KEY. She doesn’t know enough yet about what it is that works for her, so the more you guys experiment with this, the more she’ll start to learn about herself and what feels good. So you should always keep the lines of communication open and ask her questions about what it is she needs (but don’t ask her ‘how about this?’ every 5 seconds – she’ll want to punch you). Try to make sure she’s as comfortable and as confident as possible about talking to you and giving you direction because it can be embarrassing for girls who are a little shy. Maybe you could even tell her how hot it is when she gives you directions, that you think it’s really sexy, and it turns you on. If she knows that you’re okay with her leading you more, she’ll start to think about it, and you two can work together!

If she’s oversensitive down there, that’s actually a really awesome thing for her! It does mean changing things up a bit, but it also means she can orgasm much more easily than the average woman. Stay away from direct contact with the clit, focus on EVERYTHING else down there, and make sure it’s always nice and wet. You two will learn together! HAVE FUN!