teagan – Sumptuous Daydreams

My long distance boyfriend and I try to have phone sex but I suck at it. I’m terrible at being sexy. He’s sooo good at talking dirty to me and I don’t ever know what to respond with. I don’t think he likes to be called daddy either so what else can I call him. Please help lol

First of all, you shouldn’t be worried about what to be calling him, just go with whatever feels the most natural. If it feels totally awkward for you to call him “daddy” or “sir” or whatever you think he wants to hear simply because you think that’s what he wants to hear, that is only going to ruin the mood for both of you. I can tell you for sure that hearing you moan his name or telling him how wet he makes you or how much you wish he was there to touch you is going to turn him on much more than you pretending to call him something that neither of you are into.

That being said, I know that sometimes it can be a bit difficult to get into the swing of things, especially with phone sex. You don’t want to sound like an idiot but you shouldn’t be so worried about how you sound that you don’t enjoy yourself. If you’re in a relationship with someone, you shouldn’t be afraid to deal with a bit of awkwardness when trying something new. Focus on letting your partner know what you’re feeling and thinking about. If there’s something about him that really turns you on, tell him that. If there’s something he calls you that turns you on, tell him that, too. Let him know what you’d like to be doing to him, let him know how you’re touching yourself at the time, how much more you’d enjoy him touching you, etc.

There isn’t any kind of science to it, that’s for sure. Maybe he thinks he’s terrible at phone sex and thinks you sound like a pro. It’s good that you’re open to trying to new things especially with long distance, things can be rough and I wish you lots of amazing phone sex orgasms.

-teagan

It Ain’t Gay If It’s a Three Way by SovereignSovereign Syre is Sans Jupe | Sovereign Syre is Sans Jupe

A quick bit of insight from me. All this discussion about labels has me thinking about something I read that I think is really fitting to interject into this conversation. So, enjoy. ❤
– teagan

It Ain’t Gay If It’s a Three Way by SovereignSovereign Syre is Sans Jupe | Sovereign Syre is Sans Jupe

So I’m always curious on being with a girl because Lesbian Porn turns me on soooooo BAD… Problem is i have a boyfriend… I mean who wouldnt love to have a threesome and i know he does and i do too but i’m such a jealous girl… I’m afraid he will give them more attention than me.. what do i do????? and how do i bring up the subject that i want a threesome?????

First of all, there’s nothing wrong with being curious. Secondly, it is natural to be turned on by all kinds of things — everyone is different. Some things that might work for you, might not work for me and vice versa. That being said, if you’re really serious about having a threesome with your boyfriend and another girl that’s something you need to talk to him about, first and foremost.

It’s easy to say that every guy finds a threesome with two girls to be the dream, but that might not be the case for him. Sure, it might be nice to fantasize about, but he might not actually want to act on it. That being said, you’ve admitted that you’re a jealous girl and I’ve always found that in threesomes finding a balance is incredibly important. No one likes to be left out, whether it would be you, or your boyfriend, or the other girl you plan on adding.

Also, you have to think about what girl you would want to invite if your boyfriend is open about the idea. Ideally, it would be someone that you and your boyfriend were both attracted to. There are a lot of variables here, and you have to decide if you would be comfortable sharing your boyfriend, or if you would be comfortable experimenting in front of him. I can understand that you want to find out if you’re actually attracted to women, or if you’re simply turned on by seeing them together — which, believe it or not, can sometimes be the case.

Basically, sitting down and having a conversation with your boyfriend about how you feel, that you want to experiment, and that you’re interested in a threesome is the best place to start. If you do reach the point where you decide to bring another girl into the bedroom with your boyfriend and yourself, it’s always nice for you to set some ground rules, as well, especially if you’re the jealous type. For instance, maybe you can both agree that oral is fine for everyone, but you only want your boyfriend to penetrate you. Again, that’s just a handful of the things that you need to think about and discuss. But you have to remember, this isn’t something you have to rush into — planning might not sound sexy, but being open and honest and discussing what you want and how you want it is only going to make everyone happier in the end.

— teagan

Is it weird that I don’t like really rough or dirty sex? I’ve had sex a couple of times before and when someone gets too dirty it turns me off because I’m a bit scared of someone not stopping after all. Some of my past relationships have ended because of it.

It’s not weird at all. Everyone is into different things. Some people like really dirty, rough sex and some people don’t. Sex is about pleasing you —so if you’re not into that, let your partner know. The number one thing here is communication, if someone is taking things in a direction that you don’t want to go then you should talk to them about it.

And as far as ending the relationship, if someone really cares about you, they’ll be willing to work with you on what turns you on and off. And if they’re not, well, move on because they’re not worth your time anyway. A relationship shouldn’t be one sided.

-teagan.

P.S.

It sounds like one of your biggest roadblocks is trust; trusting your partner. You said you were worried they might cross a line, not that anyone has ever crossed it. That’s where trust comes in. Discuss your concerns with your partner, draw a clear line about what is acceptable for you, then trust them to respect that. Over time, trust builds and the line might be slowly pushed back. Fear of what MIGHT happen seems to be stopping you from enjoying anything being done in the moment. You worry about what’s coming next instead of enjoying what you’re doing right then. That’s why you need trust.

If you set the rules, you then have to trust your partner to follow them. Hopefully once they prove themselves to be respectful and reliable, to do as you ask and not do anything that makes you uncomfortable, then you, in turn, will actually feel MORE comfortable about loosening the reins a bit and exploring.

Not everyone likes it rough, so you’re not alone or “weird” for that, but don’t let it frighten you, okay? You have the power and CONTROL over what happens. Not enjoying it is one thing, being afraid of it is another thing entirely.

I’m a girl and I’m not new to sex, but I do have an issue. I have never came, or orgasmed, except while masturbating. All my male partners cum before I even get close and it discourages me. I’d like to experience it with someone. Advice please?

Well, first of all, find some new partners. Sure, it’s always possible that you’re not going to come every time — but you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable just because it takes a bit more work for you to climax. They’re being pretty shitty if they’re simply cumming, and then forgetting that you haven’t. Maybe they simply don’t want to acknowledge that they didn’t please you, or maybe they’re just assholes, but as in most things in life — communication is key!

Find someone that is willing to work with you to find out what you like. Maybe it’s simply that they’re rushing through the sex, and you’re not experiencing the pleasure you should be. Try different positions, try more foreplay, anything to help build you up and get you really aroused and ready for sex. That being said, climaxing simply from penetration is a rarity for a lot of women, so don’t be afraid to spice it up and add some clit stimulation. You can touch yourself, have your partner touch you, or maybe even incorporate a small vibrator so that you really enjoy yourself.

There are tons of options, and it’s just about exploring what works for you. We all want to experience pleasure, and it’s important to find someone that cares about pleasuring you, as much as they care about being pleasured themselves.

-teagan.

Do guys care about hair down there? Because i normally shave but when i do, it grows back like the next day, im scared that when i become sexually active its gonna be prickly down there

First of all, if a guy isn’t going to have sex with you because you have pubic hair — you’re not missing anything. Secondly, it’s your vagina! Do what you want with it! If you want to shave — shave! If you want to wax — wax! If you want to grow that shit like a jungle and braid it, go the fuck ahead. It’s your body, and it’s your choice.

We like to impose our own views about what is and isn’t proper on one another and ourselves, when in reality it is a completely minor issue. Shave, don’t shave, whatever. That’s up to you. But, don’t let whether a guy is going to find it attractive dictate what you do.

-teagan.

How come I can only orgasm when I rub my clit? Not anything. No fingering or sex. I’m dying! Please help. I’m 15 btw.

Well, first of all the reason you are probably only having an orgasm from rubbing your clit is because that’s what you’ve been relying on. There are numerous other methods that you can try as well, whether it’s fingering yourself or using a toy, or just humping a pillow. It sounds to me like you’ve found something that works for you, and get frustrated when the other methods don’t work as quickly. So, take your time.

Try to explore your body and find out what feels the best. Also, instead of trying to focus on only coming from fingering yourself and being frustrated when that doesn’t work, finger yourself and rub your clit so that you get the best of both worlds. There are a lot of options, and some work well for some people and not as well for others. In the end, if rubbing your clit is what works for you, then do it, but you can always add something to that so you don’t feel as though you’re stuck in a routine.

-teagan.

I have been in a serious, and by serious I mean living together, relationship with my girlfriend for almost two years (we’re both girls) and we’re sexually active. It’s by far the longest relationship I’ve ever had with just one person, I’ve mostly been a “one night stand person”. But I feel like I’m getting frustrated about the lack of sex or intimacy we’re having now that we’re “serious”, and I’m afraid it’s starting to push me towards flirting with other people. Help??

Well, as someone that can relate to you not being a ‘relationship’ type person, I can see why you would feel as though you were frustrated by that level of commitment. But, let’s be real here, if you’ve invested this much time in this relationship there’s obviously something there. So, as always, communication with your partner is key.

If you’re feeling as though there is a lack of sexual chemistry and behavior between the two of you right now, that’s what you need to talk about. Try to figure out what is making things boring, is it simply not having sex enough? Are you only having sex in the same way, so it feels like a routine? Whatever the reason, asking your partner is the first step. Maybe they feel the same way. Try to see what new things you would both be interested in trying, whether it’s toys or a new position, there are so many options to spicing up your relationship.

With that being said, some relationships just aren’t meant to last forever. If you’re feeling unsatisfied and your efforts to fix the problem aren’t working, maybe it’s time to move on. But, don’t be a dick, if you’re being pushed towards other people – end this relationship first! No one likes a cheater, especially if you’ve invested in a relationship for as long as you have this one. You owe the person you care about honesty, and even though breaking things off will hurt, it won’t hurt nearly as much as cheating on them and being found out.

-teagan.

Could you possibly give advice on how to get my girlfriend to sext without sounding like an asshole and just asking her?

Firstly, I don’t think that just asking her makes you sound like an asshole at all. Communication should be number one in any relationship. Both sides will be much happier knowing that the other feels confident enough to discuss their feelings and open up to them.

That being said, there are a few options here. Maybe start out slow, don’t just throw a dick pic in her direction and hope that’ll light her fire. Truthfully, not many people like unsolicited dick pics, take it from me.

Maybe start out simple, tell her that you’re thinking about her, and you’re turned on. Or you wanna know what she’s wearing, whatever you’re feeling. And then let things progress from there. I don’t know if you’re in an online relationship, or you actually know one another in person, but either way those are some good options. Of course, if you know one another in person and are already sexually active, it might not take much convincing to get her to send you nudes, and vice versa.

Sexting doesn’t just have to be about sending/receiving nudes anyway, hell, a lot of the sexting I’ve done was purely word motivated and sometimes that can really open things up. A lot of times people find it easier to say things in a text message that they wouldn’t in person, so there’s just a few things to consider. Plus, it can be all about the fantasy —if there’s something you wanted to try in person but were too afraid, maybe introduce it there and see how she reacts. The possibilities are endless.

-teagan.

a couple of questions…

ive been enjoying your post and also the great advise you seem to give. my situation is a tricky one, I’m a christian girl who has been attracted to girls lately, like thats all i seem to think about. to add to all this confusion I’m a virgin who is saving myself for marriage. so my issue it that i want to be with a girl but who? without no one finding out? and how would i go about finding someone with no ties to people who will know me from church. i want to have a secret relationship with a girl.

p.s. are you into girls? and if so how did you ask a girl. like there is no one i know really to experiment with. im kinda going crazy.

First of all, let’s get this straight. If you want to save yourself for marriage, sex is sex, so whether it’s with a male or a female you’re still having sex. Intercourse is usually what we refer to when people talk about saving themselves for marriage, but just because there is no penis involved, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be having sex.

I understand it’s a bit more complex for you coming from a religious background, but the truth is you have to be willing to risk that someone will find out that you’re having relations with a girl. Of course, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you don’t have to broadcast it for the world, either. It’s your life and your choices, and you’re allowed to experiment with whomever you wish and have relationships with whomever you wish. Sure, some people in your church or community might judge you, but that’s a risk that you would take whether you were sleeping with a girl — or sleeping with the shady guy that everyone thinks is trouble. People are always going to make their judgments so you can’t stop living simply because of the fear of what other people think.

Having said that, as someone who is bisexual, I can understand the desire to have sex with another female. It can be an awesome experience. There are several ways for you to find someone to interact with, but you may already know someone that is interested. Maybe you have a friend who is curious, too, and they’d be open to experimenting a bit — talk to them about it, see where it goes. Sometimes people surprise you, and there’s nothing more interesting than finding out that someone is interested in the same thing you are — and afraid to open up about it, as well.

-teagan.