You answered your own question. It’s pretty simple and it sounds like you’re overthinking it. You’re just not that into him. You were interested because of the commonalities and the sex was decent, then you got turned off by some facets of his personality and clinginess.
Alright! So it didn’t work out. No harm, no foul. That’s why you DATED.
Dating = testing the waters. You tested. You didn’t like it that much. Time to move on.
Saying you don’t want to date a guy anymore because you’re just not that into him doesn’t make you a bitch. It’s the exact purpose of dating. You get to know someone, you see if you click, and 9/10 you won’t. Sometimes it’s more obvious than others. Sometimes it takes a couple weeks or a couple months to realize it’s just not working. You liked some things about him, but he’s throwing up red flags for you in other places. Okay, you tried.
It doesn’t mean he’s a bad guy. They don’t have to be terrible people in order to not date them. It’s just not the right fit. And if I sum up your dilemma, what you’re saying to me is “sometimes he makes me cringe and feel so uncomfortable to the point where I want to run to escape, but won’t it make me look mean if I end it?”
Come on!
It’s never fun to hurt someone’s feelings (unless they’re gigantic assholes, then it’s the best time ever), but prolonging it is gonna be so much worse. You’re being up front, honest, and straightforward by saying to him “you know, this isn’t working out for me”. That’s it. That’s the right thing to do. Not always easy, but it’s RIGHT.
As for being “just friends”. Nope. Don’t do it. Don’t say it. Don’t try it. One, when a person has opened up about their feelings, is really into you, and you say “let’s just be friends”, it can be really condescending and perhaps even more hurtful. Two, lovers-turned-friends is for lesbians/bisexual women. Men have not yet been able to grasp the complexities of a relationship like that. DO. NOT. BOTHER. If he agrees to just be friends, it’s probably cause he thinks he’ll be able to figure out a way to make you change your mind. It’ll get messy.
I know you like other parts of his personality, but you are far better off just nipping it in the bud now, cutting ties, and moving on.
Sumptuous Daydreams 