Tag: sex toys

I have a question, lol so my gf and I have been dating for almost a year and yesterday she told me she wanted me to blindfold her next time we have sex, I am okay with doing that but I don’t know exactly what to do while she’s blindfolded? and what could I use to blindfold her? I have a tie and a bandanna, which would work better? Please help lol /. oh and we are both girls 18yrs old and never done something like this.

Do you think you have to use a riding crop or feathers or something just because she’s blindfolded? That’s such a cliche and not at all true. I mean, sure, you could try that if you wanted to, but I’d save that for later exploration. Not on your first try.

Blindfolding is about sensory deprivation. Removing one sense heightens the others. No sight means that taste, touch, smell, and hearing becomes more acute. It’s your first time, just explore and have fun with it. Test it out. See what it’s like! You’re not “supposed” to do anything specific when someone is blindfolded. There’s no manual or a step by step playbook that you’re supposed to follow. It’s simply exploring how not being able to see, increases your reaction to touch (and your other senses). The biggest sense involved during sex is TOUCH and when you remove a sense, it’s going to make touch more intense and you’re going to feel more than you usually would during sex. It’s incredibly erotic.

Make sure you’re paying attention to how she’s feeling and her comfort level during this. If she starts to get anxious or overwhelmed, talk to her about it, stop, take the blindfold off, wait until she’s ready to try again or be ready to change it up if she doesn’t want to try it anymore. Just be alert and aware of your partner’s emotions. It’s easy for a person to get overwhelmed when using sensory deprivation.

A tie is better than a bandana – make sure it’s comfortable but secure around her eyes – hopefully it’s a silk or satin tie because polyester would get scratchy.

First turn the lights off (gradual deprivation is better than sudden), then blindfold her, and as you’re putting it on, whisper in her ear about how amazing it’s going to be, how hot this is, how sexy she is, tell her how she’s going to love what you’re going to do to her. Basically whatever you feel comfortable with saying, but whispering it against her ear while you’re putting a blindfold on her is going to be really hot for her.

Everything that you usually do when you have sex is going to feel more intense for her because she can’t see any of it. You don’t have to do anything different than what you normally do! It’ll be different just because she has a blindfold on. You’ll find out what gets her going and arouses her the most through trial and error. Have fun with it and see what all the hype is about. 😉

Some basic suggestions about what to do after the blindfold goes on:

– Kiss her, kiss her everywhere, lick her, taste her, touch her, turn her on her stomach and kiss her over her back and thighs and neck and ass, then turn her over again and do it again. Take your time.

– Don’t kiss her! Brush your lips against hers without really kissing her, move down her body without touching her anywhere, just let her feel your warm breath on her skin, maybe let your lips graze her, but never any real pressure or kisses. It’ll drive her crazy! She’ll be begging you and grabbing at you (in that case, I would pin her wrists down so you can keep teasing her long enough to get her where you want her to be).

– Give her a massage. Oil it up!

Some other “easy” ideas to try:

– Tease her. She can’t see where you are or where your hands are going to be so use that to your advantage – surprise her – make her guess where you’re going to go next. Don’t give her exactly what she wants until you’ve built up her arousal enough for your liking. If she cums easily, bring her to the edge of orgasm and then taper off, don’t let her cum. Do that a few times and then when you finally let her orgasm, she won’t be able to move for an hour. It’ll be amazing.

– Ice cubes or cold water. You can use an ice cube around her nipples and her navel. Play with her nipples more than you usually would, try biting them lightly after they’re hard and erect from the cold. Whatever works for her! The sensations will be increased threefold because she’s blindfolded.

– Use a vibrator. Don’t tell her you want to use it, surprise her and bring it out after she’s blindfolded, let her hear it first, build up the anticipation, then use it on her. (If she’s the kind of person that would want consent beforehand, then obviously, get permission for any toy use before even getting into bed. You’ve been together for a year, you know her well enough by now to know what’s okay and what’s not.)

IDEAS FOR WAYS TO MASTURBATE (FOR WOMEN)

I can’t even begin to count how many messages I receive on a daily basis with questions about masturbating.

“Is this normal?” “I can’t orgasm” “It doesn’t feel good” “I don’t like penetration, just my clit – am I ruined?” “I don’t know how to masturbate!” And so on…

Here’s the thing: there is no normal.

There is no one size fits all. No one method that is a sure thing. Everyone is different. Everyone has to explore to find their own way. However, masturbating is absolutely common, very healthy, and will help your future (or current) sex life immensely! So I’ve compiled a list of ideas that will hopefully help some of you. Really, it’s to spark some sexual creativity in you, not give you a specific manual.

The best way to utilize this list is to mix and match! Read through and see what different things appeal to you and then combine them, tweak them, to create a fantastic, custom-tailored, method of masturbation! (Boys, check the masturbating tag, I’ve given plenty of creative ideas there for you as well.)

My advice: Don’t touch yourself to get yourself wet. Be wet BEFORE anything goes between your legs. Foreplay is essential even when it comes to masturbating! Get yourself aroused before jumping to fondle your clit or finger yourself. It’s the best way to optimize your experience!

  • Use two fingers to gently rub circles around/on your clit.
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  • On your stomach or on all fours. It’s a different experience, different sensations. It’s easier to move your hips and fuck your fingers instead of your fingers fucking you. Alt. Use both hands to play with your clit, alternating with a sideways motion while lying on your stomach.
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  • Use a vibrator on your clit while penetrating yourself simultaneously with a dildo. Increase vibration intensity as you fuck yourself harder with the dildo.  Alt. Use a vibrator/dildo with one hand while using the other hand to play with your clit with your fingers. Suggested: vibrator from Spencer’s and glass dildo “Icicle #1”.
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  • In the bathtub, sit under the faucet and let it stimulate you. Whirpool jets in a bathtub can be used as well. Alt. use a showerhead – prop your leg up for optimal angle.Showerheads are extremely popular and with good reason… THEY WORK!
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  • Watch porn and once you’re aroused and wet, hump a stuffed animal. Rub your clit on the nose (or some firmer spot) over and over until you orgasm. Not every stuffed animal works for this so you’ll have to experiment to find one that works the best for you.
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  • Watch porn to get aroused and instead of rubbing your clit, flick it or slap it or tap it. Rubbing doesn’t work for everyone and you experience different sensations by using a different motion with your fingers. Experiment to see what you like the most!
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  • Read erotica (whether online stories or a book) to get aroused then penetrate yourself with one, two, or three fingers until you’re on the cusp of orgasm and finish yourself off by rubbing your clit.
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  • Turn off the lights. Close the blinds (if it’s daytime). Put a rolled up towel or blanket under your hips and while scrolling through this blog (or any site with pornographic images) play with yourself. The angle of your hips makes it easier for deeper penetration and different sensations.
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  • Dry humping. Hump your hand, a pillow, the edge of a bed, an exercise ball, etc. Try watching porn or looking through sex blogs (suggested: gifs where someone is riding their partner are preferred, they give you a sense of rhythm and adds to the imagination).
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  • Sit on a pillow on a chair in front of the computer or TV and bend a corner up to rub your clit to get yourself wet and aroused. Then lie on your back and finger yourself. Keep trying different positions, different angles, until you orgasm. Don’t be afraid to try “weird” positions because you never know what could be the most explosive for you. No positions are weird if they work!
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  • Nipple stimulation. Use one hand to punch your nipples while the other plays with your clit.
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  • Think about past sexual experiences or fantasize about entirely new ones. You don’t need porn to stimulate yourself. You have an entire pornographic library inside your head just waiting to be accessed ! IMAGINATION. Once you’re thoroughly wet and aroused, start touching yourself.
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  • Use a vibrator on top of your underwear, pressed against your clit. Ride it/hump it/grind against it if you start feeling the urge to move your hips. Don’t ignore those natural urges your body has. You have those instincts for a reason! It’s your body telling you what it needs to reach that peak point of orgasm. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn how to listen to your body and give it what it wants.
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  • Use the Eroscillator vibrator on your clit (hey, it’s recommended by Dr. Ruth!) and vary it up with several of its attachments (ie. Seven Pearls of the Orient).

Note: It is very common for women who consider themselves straight to masturbate to gay/lesbian porn. So please indulge without having a sexual identity crisis! It doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian if you enjoy lesbian porn. It doesn’t mean you’re straight if you enjoy straight/gay porn. It’s fantasy. Fantasies and new things are sexually thrilling. So instead of watching the usual thing that you’ve all seen and done before, why wouldn’t something completely different and sexy, like two women or two men, be a huge turn on? It’s exciting and hot. That’s it. Use it to take back to bed with your partner who is whatever freaking gender you want.

Stop worrying so much! Revel. Enjoy. Explore. Get horny. Fuck the hell out of yourself.

Hi so I’m 16, and I’m in a very good relationship. We have talked about sex, we both want it so bad. He’s not a virgin, but I am. And now We’re both in a situation where it’s very hard to see each other. So he got me a vibrator.. And I used it for the first time the other day, and when I pulled it out, there was blood on it. I’m scared now. What does this mean??

You likely tore your hymen. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely normal. If the bleeding continues or is heavy, then that would be a time to see a doctor. But from what you described, you’re fine. Everything going just as it should! 🙂

I want to use a strap on with my girlfriend but I was wondering if it would feel good for me to or if it would just be pleasure for her

A run of the the mill strap on is usually more about pleasure for the person receiving, but there’s an erotic element for the person wearing it. The simulation of the act is really exciting – consider it a great form of foreplay for you. You’re pleasing your partner and it’s also a bit of a trip. 😉 Think about what it’s going to be like looking down and watching as you thrust in and out of your girlfriend…the way she’ll be moaning…the look on her face…

It’s very much a visual/psychological pleasure you’ll get from using it on someone.

However! It doesn’t mean that you won’t experience any physical pleasure from wearing the strap-on as well! Depending on how aroused you are and the position you keep the dildo, you can orgasm from that alone. The friction from the base of the dildo or the strap can be stimulating enough for an orgasm. Everyone is different, so it may or may not be enough for you, but you will experience some kind of physical pleasure no matter what. Trust me!

You can also get a dual pleasure strap on, one that has an insert against your clit (it’s like the rabbit part on the rabbit vibrators) or a dildo inside of you as well.

There’s also the Feeldoe which is a strapless double dildo. Using it without a harness requires you to have really strong muscles down there to be able to hold it in place. 90% of women just can’t do it, it keeps slipping out, so I really just advise you to get a harness no matter what toy you get. It takes a lot of pressure off you and it means less work, which means more pleasure. 😀

There’s tons of different versions of a double dildo, the feeldoe is just where it started so you can find them anywhere.

Also, just a tip, if you’re going to wear the harness, let your girlfriend pick the dildo. What works for you, might not work for her, and she’s the one receiving! So that’s something you two need to do together or have her do it.

Hi there can I ask for some advice? I turned 18 recently and my friend bought me my first vibrator, I’ve used it twice but I’m all ways sore after I use it. I know because I’m a virgin it would hurt some, but it can get really unbearable. I’m worried that when I do have sex it will hurt just the same. I’ve masturbated before with my fingers, and try turning my self on before I use the vibrator but it still hurts.

First of all, congrats on having a friend who bought you something useful. (;

Secondly, there are lots of reasons that you could be experiencing discomfort.  You said you try to turn yourself on first, but maybe you’re rushing things.  If you’ve masturbated with just your hands before, and that’s worked for you, start there.  Don’t try to rush yourself, think of something pleasant, look at porn, whatever and go slowly.  So once you’re feeling turned on, start fingering yourself or massaging your clit and then incorporate the vibrator.  Also, there’s no reason to start by fucking yourself with it, make use of the vibration.  Tease yourself with it, trace around your clit, all over your pussy, whatever works for you.  And then, work on inserting it. Start slowly, with the vibration off, and as you get comfortable, try dialing the vibrator speed up from there so you’re not overwhelming.  That way you’re focused on the pleasure, and can see what is causing you the discomfort.  If you go slowly, you’re more likely to find the point you’re having trouble with.

Finally, as a warning, make sure to take good care of your toys! Always wash them after use, and check that if they’re the kind that is rubber material, that they don’t have any tears or things like that.  This collects bacteria, and can cause infection, which you do not want.  Some vibrators are only sold as novelty, and thus, no one cares if they meet safety standards, so make sure you’re not using something inside of you that you shouldn’t be.

-teagan.

P.S.

crazedanddonfused said: Also if you’re having problems with being turned on enough before using it, you can get some water-based lube online, or free at a health clinic (or in Spencer’s!) to help.

I am getting ready to buy my first vibrator and dildo. I am going to order online for descrectionary purposes. Is there aything you can suggest?

In the sex advice tag this post lists a few good sites to order toys from. It does depend on what kind of stimulation you prefer. Do you just want clitoral stimulation or just penetration or both? Because you can find a toy that has both or focuses on just one. So keep that in mind.

As for SPECIFIC toys…I open that up for my followers.

What is your number one, all time favorite vibrator? The one that never fails to get you off? The one that you would get rid of your boyfriend/girlfriend first before having to get rid of? (JOKE!)

The Hitachi Magic Wand is a timeless favorite. I, personally, hate the Rabbit and all its knock off brothers and sisters. I blame Sex and The City for overhyping that thing. The Gigi is multifunctional in all the right ways (most of the LELO products are similar and effective).  The Silver Bullet is super popular, simple, and cheap. Almost every sex shop has its own version and you can even get it on Amazon.

Ultimately, it’s difficult to recommend a toy because I don’t know what you like. It’s a decision that requires personal experimentation and knowing what kind of stimulation turns you on/gets you off.

How about you guys?

where do you recommend buying sex toys?

Well, if there are thousands of sex shops everywhere so I’m sure you can find one locally that wouldn’t be more than 20 mins away from you.

But if we’re talking online…

Adam & Eve is popular and probably one of the oldest online stores. They sell both high end and low end so do your research before you buy something because you don’t want to get stuck with something crappy. The prices are decent and you get free stuff!

My Pleasure has been highly publicized in major magazines. They’re just about the toys and don’t really venture into any other items you could use for sex (ie. a swing). They offer good products.

Good Vibrations is well known and its been around for a while. They’re a little pricier, but they offer a lot of the original versions of products instead of knock offs so there’s something to be said for that.

Liberator has a lot of stuff, haha. They also offer more unique items that you can’t get on other sites. So that’s their biggest niche.

i’m 17 and live with my mom I’m too afraid to look up on google homemade like dildos and whatnot. do you know of anything I can use at home besides a shower head and fingers

There’s this cool thing called “delete browser history”! You should try it. Keeps that nosy Mom out of your business. 😉

But since you asked, a cucumber is generally the go-to item for those times where your fingers are just not enough and a trip to the sex shop (whether in person or virtual) is out of the question. Other veggies with similar shape will do as well.

Use lube and wash the cucumber before you use it (and after?) lol.

Anyone else wanna chime in with your fav every day go-to item? So many possibilities, so little time…