Tag: sex advice

is it possible that i dont have a clitoris. I looked in the mirror and pulled up my clitoral hood and didnt see a button-like piece of skin. and if i touch it I dont feel any pleasure.

I’m sure anything is possible? But it’s really…really…really…REALLY unlikely that you have a massive birth defect like that. You would have had surgeries and been told…etc.

Point is, the clitoris is not an instant pleasure button that you can poke once and orgasm because of it. (Hell, our lives would be so fucking nice if that was true…) It doesn’t really look like a “button” – it’s a pinkish/reddish nubbin?

Try getting in the mood and when you’re wet/aroused/super turned on  – try playing with your clit (or where you think it should be). Try touching it lightly in circles, see what happens! Also, it swells when you’re sexually aroused so it becomes more prominent and you’ll be able to see it more easily then.

Another picture to help you out…

So I thought I was asexual… But I sometimes get turned on my thinking about this guy I’m in love with (it’s long distance too) just full on fucking me till I see stars and dirty talking to me… Is that like really weird?

caersidydd:

sumptuousdaydreams:

Nope! Just sounds like your sexual needs aren’t that easily defined. Having sexual desires for someone you love is perfectly normal. I wouldn’t worry so much about putting yourself in a box and instead just be open to the experience.

Just a passerby to add further thoughts on this matter. There are plenty of variances from individual to individual within asexuality. One thing I’ve learned personally being asexual is that the idea of sex in its sort of remote non physical perfection can be a stimulating turn on and it doesn’t make you any less asexual to be turned on by the idea. Actual real sex is worlds apart from an idea, and even if it played out exactly the same way as in your fantasy, it really might not work for you in reality…because you’re asexual.

That said, sexuality is fluid. We shouldn’t be so quick to slap permanent labels on ourselves. What you like today won’t necessarily be what you like next week. And as cliche as it sounds sometimes you really do meet one person that makes you feel entirely different from everything you’ve ever thought you knew and understood about yourself. We’re constantly changing and growing, and shouldn’t place ourselves in boxes that stunt that growth.

image

I like you.

I’m a girl and I’m 17 and I’ve never cummed before.. And everytime I’m with my bf and we’re doing things to get me going my legs start shaking and I don’t know why should I let him continue ?

Okay, well, good news! It seems you have a problem easily solved. Legs shaking is exactly what is supposed to happen because that’s when the awesome stuff starts so yes you need to let him keep going… That’s how you orgasm… You keep going.

I’m a 15 year old girl and fantasise about having sex with a girl and when I masturbate I often think about girls. Does this mean I’m bisexual? I find males attractive but when I think of having sex with a girl I get excited. I have never had a girlfriend and I have never even kissed a girl before, so is there any chance I could be bisexual? Is this normal?

Sounds like you’re leaning more towards lesbian than bi at this point. But who knows? Who cares? Whoever you’re attracted to, go for it.

If you find someone you really like and you’re sexually attracted to them – GO FOR IT.

Worrying about what to label yourself is a waste of time and effort, creating needless anxiety when all you have to worry about really is just finding those amazing people you want to spend time with.

hey! what do you think about seeing a gynaecologist? I’m kind of scared of them…I didn’t have a really good experience with one last year but I feel I’d like to talk with a professional

It’s always going to be a little weird, awkward, uncomfortable. Of course it is! You’re in a scratchy gown, sitting on paper, with your feet in stirrups and your vagina wide open – feeling the breeze – lol. But you get used to it and it is really important to have regular check ups with your gynecologist.

The thing you have to remember is that it’s weird for YOU, but to your doctor, it’s just another day. Another vagina out of the THOUSANDS that they’ve seen over the years. It’s like seeing an arm at that point, it’s so NORMAL to them.

Ask your friends or your mom or your general practitioner to recommend a gynecologist for you. It’s always better to go off a recommendation to find someone.

Find someone you like, someone you feel confident that they know what they’re doing, find someone you trust, and stick with them. It’s the same thing as finding a regular doctor, you have to try a few to eventually find someone who clicks with you.

It’s something really important so you can’t ignore it.

Hey, I love the blog! I also have a suggestion, do you think you could also tag your advice as “gay, lesbian, straight” so I can find the correct tab for advice for me? Again, not telling you how to run your blog, just a helpful suggestion! Keep on doing what you do, you’re great! :)

Categories of “gay, lesbian, and straight” have no place on my blog. I can’t tell you how many messages I get on a daily basis about people worried about how to define their sexuality. The simple answer is: don’t.

Besides, lesbians can learn from the tips I give to guys about what to do with girls. And straight girls can learn more about themselves from tips I give to lesbians. And guys can learn from any one of those posts about what to do with a girl or a guy. Bisexuals reap the most benefit, lol.

You can learn a lot if you don’t turn your mind off to something that’s not specifically labeled to how you define your sexuality. In fact, you’d be surprised by how much you miss out on by doing that.

Okay I have a huge question hope you can help, so I’m going on a date to watch the stars, and he wants to finger me in his car and wants me to make the first move. I have never go fingered before How would I do that and turn him on we will be in the back seat of his car any advice you can give would help a lot ~b

You’ve done a lot of planning for this date, lol! Talking is good! It’s really not as complicated as you think. If he wants you to make the first move you can take his hand (when you’re wet and ready after you’ve been making out for a while) and put it between your legs. Boom! First move made and he can take it from there.

I’m sure you already know how to turn him on. Kiss a lot. A LOT. Use your hands, let them roam. Grab his hair, clutch at his back and his arms, touch his neck, straddle his thigh. To turn him on even more, you can squeeze the inside of his thigh or even massage his crotch through his pants. Whatever you feel comfortable with. He’ll love any kind of intimate touch from you.

It’s not like it’s going to be a surprise for him, you guys have talked about it. No need to worry about reactions or rejection. You’re on the same page! Enjoy your date under the stars!

Sometimes idk if i’m lesbian, straight or bi. Idk how to say this but, i don’t like to make sex with guys (dislike their body type) but i also feel weird when thinking about having sex with a girl (i don’t like scissoring or finger). It’s really weird to have a kinky with girls with… dicks? I know that girls can have toys but, i think it’s bad cuz the other girl don’t feel the pleasure too.

One, stop worrying about the specifics of your sexuality. Just focus on getting to know PEOPLE and allow yourself to be attracted to whoever you want.

Two, have you had sex with a girl or have you just thought about it? Because unless you actually try it, you really don’t know for sure. Especially if you find yourself attracted to women and it’s the sex aspect that concerns you.

Three, strap ons are a common presence in a lesbian sexual relationship (especially long term relationships). Both women get pleasure, it’s just in different ways. Again, you really won’t understand it until you try it. What’s the harm? Experimentation is the best thing you can do for yourself.

How do I tell my current bf that the first person I did it with was a girl? I like men but I’m not so used to touching their thing down there and i know he knows that. I’m just not sure if I should say anything about my past though.. Should I?

Why do you feel unsure about telling him? If you’re engaging in sexual activity with your partner, one of the first steps is to tell the other person your sexual history. I don’t mean every detail of it, just the bare bones. How many, have you been tested, etc. Just tell him you haven’t had sex with a guy before and that way you can hold off for a little while before explaining that you’ve been with a girl before. I think you should tell him, but if you want to wait on it so you get to know him better before revealing that, then wait.

I’m a guy. I’ve been with my girlfriend for six months now and she’s coming over for the first time this weekend. I would really like to do more than just kissing. But how do I go about it? I’ve never done anything like that before…

Ask her. I’m assuming you guys are pretty young, so the best thing to do at your age is seriously just talk about it. Trying to “go for it” without knowing where she stands is probably going to lead to you being shot down and supreme awkwardness. Why put yourself (and her) through that? Don’t surprise her. This is new for you both so it’s something you need to talk about.

Ask her if she wants to try something more. Tell her you you want to finger her or go down on her. (If you’re worried you don’t know how to do something, check the sex advice tags because I give many ‘how to’ tips.) Focus this next step on something FOR her. Give before you even think about asking to receive – understand? Don’t ask her for a handjob, ask her if she would want you to do something for her.

If she’s ready for more, she’s likely to offer to return the favor. (Note: I’m not guaranteeing that she will, that’s up to her and what she’s ready for, I’m just suggesting that it’s a possibility.) If you show interest in HER sexual needs, it shows that you actually care about her, not just getting off. It’s a good way to get a girl excited about sexually pleasing you in return. The ice will be broken, curiosity abounds, etc. Just have fun with it and be safe.

If she’s not ready for more, then make your peace with that, and keep being best friends with your hand. 🙂