Tag: sex advice

When I cum, there’s this white creamy stuff. Does that mean I ‘squirted’?

No.

When you “squirt” it’s a clear fluid. You would be more concerned with whether or not you had accidentally peed.

So there’s a few possible reasons for the “white creamy stuff”:

1) Our female ‘juices’ change texture over the course of a month due to our menstrual cycle. Right after your period ends, it may be a lot like lotion, creamy, smooth. Closer to ovulation, it becomes clearer (not always though) and slippery. As soon as you ovulate, the fluid becomes thick and sticky. This all happens because the vagina is a self cleaning, nifty little sucker. Awesome! 😉

2) It could just be a frothy foam worked up through vigorous intercourse, coating the penis, and making your usual lubrication look different.

3) If the discharge has a not-so-great odor and/or looks kind of lumpy like cottage cheese then you probably have a yeast infection or an STI and you should see your doctor to have it treated ASAP.

4) It’s a possible oversight, but are you certain the “white creamy stuff” isn’t semen? Just throwing that thought out there…

How does an orgasm feel? Because I feel my body tensing up and clenching my fingers but I never end up satisfied.

Many a fanfic writer has wasted away their days trying to accurately describe the wondrous experience known as an orgasm…

All have failed.

There’s no way to describe it other than that if you’re wondering whether or not you’ve had an orgasm, then you have not had an orgasm.

My advice is to relax and breathe deeply, even holding your breath for a few seconds before exhaling. It’s like you’re trying to breathe every ounce of pleasure happening to your body further inside yourself. You feel it more acutely and then you have to relax and ALLOW your body to feel it (in the exhale). Men get all tight and clenched right before they orgasm, but women need to be as calm and open to pleasure as they can possibly be in order to allow their body to crest and fall over the tipping point.

Try using a vibrator against your clit. It really helps!

So I got a masturbation question. I’m 18 and I’ve only been able to masturbate a few times because every time I do it it hurts really bad. Is that normal? Any advice?

First off, don’t force anything that causes you pain. If you’re a virgin, then it’s going to be a little uncomfortable and tight down there when you use your fingers (let alone anything else). I have a feeling you’re trying to go too fast and jump into things.

If you’re a virgin and you’re trying to use your fingers or other objects to penetrate yourself, then yes, it’s normal for it to hurt in the beginning. It shouldn’t be excruciating, but yes, it’ll be uncomfortable. If you’re not a virgin then you should not be experiencing pain like that. You might be trying too much without being prepared (lubricated).

Go slower. Relax. Set aside plenty of time for yourself without feeling like you have to rush. Rub yourself through your underwear, slowly build up your arousal, play around and find what makes you feel good rather than doing what you think you’re “supposed” to do when you masturbate. You don’t have to put your fingers inside you at all!

You can play with your clit (circular motions!). Hump your hand or anything else you have available (ie. roll up a blanket and put it between your legs or use a firm pillow or even a stuffed animal!). Move your hips and rock against it, grind away to your heart’s content and it will start to feel pretty damn good. Spread your legs further, open yourself for more direct contact. EXPERIMENT! Masturbating does not require penetration. There’s no one exact method women use to masturbate. It’s different for all of us.

When you are significantly aroused and very wet, that’s when you consider using a finger or two. And that’s going to be tight and little uncomfortable the first few times so don’t do more than what feels right! The more you masturbate, the more your body will adjust to it, and then there’ll be no discomfort or even the slightest bit of pain!

Honestly, a lot of women don’t even like using their fingers to fuck themselves, they prefer a clitoral orgasm (orgasm achieved by stimulating your clit and the outer vaginal area only). So try that first and work your way up to penetration. Vaginal orgasms are actually less intense and harder to achieve so penetration is only something you would want to help yourself along if that’s what you like, but it’s not necessary.

To sum up? Don’t do any penetration if it hurts. Try other ways and work your way up to it again if that’s something your body is telling you it wants. The key to masturbation is paying attention to your body’s needs!

so i’ve been seeing this guy for a while and i want to get more intimate with him. my concern is, being my first time, i’ll be too nervous or self-conscious and make a mess of things, even though i have a very clear idea of how to go down etc. any tips for a beginner?

The first thing you need to accept is that there are going to be clumsy and awkward moments. Just know that. It’s normal. Everyone has that happen to them every time they start out with someone new. It will NOT be like it is in the movies.

Once you accept that there’s going to be missteps and awkward silliness, the better it will be. Because then when those moments happen, you have to be able to laugh them off together (and you will). There’s no need to freak out or freeze up just because of some minor misstep. Laugh about it. Accept it. And keep going! He’s going to be nervous too. So you’re not alone.

Relax, don’t overthink, and even if you have to pretend to be more confident than you really are, do it, because it will actually help you towards being more confident in a backhand sort of way. Does that make sense at all?

Don’t worry so much about him, he’s going to enjoy being with you no matter what. Remember, you’re not there just for HIM. You’re there together, as partners, to share and give each other pleasure. So that means you need to rely on him to work with you. You’re not alone on an island, okay? He’s there. Ask him questions if you’re unsure. Take it as slow as you’d like. Talk. Kiss endlessly. Do what makes you feel good and what you feel comfortable with.

If he’s not someone you feel like you can trust and talk to about this, then maybe you’re not ready for this step. You want to be with someone you trust. Okay? 🙂

The rest is going to come naturally.

Hi I was wondering if you could help me. Whenever my girlfriend has fingered me, I’ve bled. This has never happened to me before. I don’t know why it is now.

That’s definitely not supposed to happen, but there’s a few possible explanations that I know of. Even with these possibilities, I still strongly suggest you visit your doctor to be sure. Don’t take any chances.

1) I’m assuming since you said it’s happened more than once, that it’s not your period that has anything to do with it.

2) Were you a virgin? If you’re still really tight down there, it could be a possible cause for bleeding if the hymen isn’t properly broken.

2) Does your girlfriend have long nails? Or is she rough with you? She could have accidentally nicked you and without allowing time for it to heal enough, the cut could be reopened every time she fingers you.

3) Are you lubricated enough when she fingers you? If you’re not properly lubricated then that can cause irritation and bleeding.

4) Chlamydia and gonorrhea can cause bleeding during sexual activity. You might want to get yourself tested.

5) Vaginal yeast infections and/or bacterial infections can also cause this kind of bleeding.

So my final advice to you? Make an appointment with your regular doctor or a gynecologist.

Want to give my first blowjob. What do i do with my tongue and the head of his penis? He gives really good oral i want to return the favor, what will drive him crazy?

All right, tips you asked for, tips you get!

  • Warm the head of his penis with your breath. This is a sensual way of saying “hello.” Use your tongue then for long licks along the underside of the penis.
  • Spend extra time licking and pressing your tongue into the area right underneath the head (there’s a little V there).
  • Remember that the head is more sensitive than the shaft. Take it in your mouth and swirl your tongue around the rim.
  • Don’t try to deep throat, especially not on your first try. It’s not gonna work and most women can’t ever learn to do it. You can try to work up to it over time, but just forget about it for now.
  • Do not suck hard. Some suction is good, but to “suck a guy off” is more a figure of speech than a guaranteed technique.
  • Keep a lot of saliva in your mouth. Guys love those wet slippery cavities. (As do we all…)
  • After playing briefly with the head, slide your mouth down the shaft. Use your hand at the base of the penis to cover what you can’t get in your mouth. Let your saliva lubricate your manual stroking.
  • Be fairly light as you go down, firmer as you come up. Then switch it up! Firm going down, lighter coming up. Variety is nice, so swirl, swish, lap and lick. Vary speed and firmness. Find a rhythm, but don’t keep doing exactly the same thing.
  • With your fingertips, tickle behind the his testicles…also it’s a good area to lick.
  • I’ve said this before, but ENTHUSIASM is the best thing you can do to make it special for a guy. Be noisy (but don’t overdo it – you’re not in a porno!). Let the sounds you make show him how much you’re enjoying it. When your mouth is not full, ask him for suggestions. Guys love giving directions when it comes to their cock.
  • If you want to swallow, you can, but it’s COMPLETELY OKAY not to. It’s your choice. Since it’s your first BJ, my advice would be to have him ejaculate somewhere else. It’s a bit overwhelming for a first time so don’t put that pressure on yourself.

Have a good one! 😉

I’m the same anon from earlier, the bisexual girl. Okay ;) fine sex. I just didn’t really no what to call it. Thanks for the advice. I just didn’t know really how to approach it, because I’m a bit socially awkward.

No problem! Happy to help. 🙂

When it comes to things like that, honesty and straightforwardness is the best approach. There’s no leaving things to misinterpretation. It’s a frank understanding between two people. You want to have sex but not a relationship and you’re friends, if you want to continue to have her around for that sort of thing, just be honest about it. People respond really well to that sort of blunt “this is what I’d like” declarations when it comes to a friends with benefits sort of thing. You can keep it light and make it clear that it’s just something enjoyable to do with your friend. And, hey, we all need the stress relief so if you’re not in a relationship and you have some talented friends…might as well take advantage! 😉

I’m a bisexual girl and i want to have lesbian sex with my friend and last time she stayed the night at my house we ate each other out. She was really good at it and I want to do it again. How do I ask her to do it again?

Lesbian sex? lol. It’s just called “sex”, okay? With a boy or a girl, it’s still just “sex”. 😉

Well, if you were good at it too, then there’s no reason why she wouldn’t be up for it again! Are you guys casual friends or is there more history?

If you’re close, you should be able to feel comfortable to bring it up again. You know, a really simple, straightforward confession of, “I’m horny, you’re amazing, please get me off again?”

If you’re casual friends, it’s easy to see as a one-off, but try dropping some hints, touches, etc. and see how receptive she is? If she’s into it then I’d just go for it again like you did the last time.

This is a response to your advice from that one girl who’s falling for another girl bound for arranged marriage. I just want to thank you for giving me the most helpful yet realistic advice:) you are indeed right, and taking matters slow is the best way to go if I ever pursue her. Before I asked you that question, I have dropped some hints (but not blatantly expressing my feelings) and her response were both + and -. Now, it’s a matter of deciding if her gesture towards me were special or not.

You’re welcome! I think the best thing you can do is make the choice that you won’t regret. Would you regret never knowing the truth – never knowing that she might feel the same? Or would you regret pursuing her and (possibly) be turned down? Which one is worse?

There’s three ways it can turn out: 1) You get hurt and you lose a friend. 2) You find out that your feelings are returned and she likes you too. 3) You get hurt but she wants to still be your friend.

What decision will be the best one you can live with?

I wish you all the best! 🙂