Tag: sex advice

So I try fingering myself, and I never find it plessurable, just uncortable

So don’t finger yourself then? Just play with your clit and make sure you’re always REALLY wet. You don’t need to penetrate unless your body asks for it. It’s all about listening to what your body wants rather than doing it the way you think you’re “supposed” to do it.

Find something that makes you feel good. Forget about porn. Forget about what other people say. Do it your own way. Hump your hand. Hump a pillow. Rub your clit through your underwear. Anything you want. Find a way to make it feel good for yourself. Penetration is entirely unnecessary.

Ok I’m a girl and whenever i masturbate I just can’t make myself cum. I’ve tried a lot of things but I’m not old enough to buy sex toys. Any suggestions?

It takes time and patience. You’re probably rushing yourself and pushing to orgasm when that’s exactly what you can’t do. It doesn’t work like that.

Set aside an hour or two where you know you’re going to be completely alone. Take a bath, relax, get yourself into the mood, and work yourself up slowly. Guys have it easy where they can just pump themselves into a frenzy for a minute and boom! Girls need more time and it relies a lot on your state of mind. It’s not just what you’re doing, but what you’re thinking, and what you’re allowing your body to feel.

Keep experimenting, focus on relaxing, and you’ll make it happen!

I was wondering if you had any pointers on eating a girl out? My girlfriend’s clit is VERY sensitive and the times I’ve have gone down on her have been okay, but it would be nice if I could bring her to an orgasm. Usually she ends up stopping me at some point, so that isn’t great…I have asked her for any tips, but she says she’s not sure what I should do. So do you have any? btw, I am a guy, and I’m pretty new at this, but it is exciting.

Well, I love that you’re a guy and asking about this! Any guy who wants to learn more about oral so he can please his partner is just fantastic. YES, IT IS EXCITING! haha. Too often guys are just all about them when it comes to sex and they think they know everything, so kudos to you for wanting to do better for your girl!

Now, it sounds like you’re focusing too much direct attention on her clit, especially if she’s oversensitive. So I think the goal for you is to work AROUND the clit instead of touching it directly. The clit is EXTREMELY sensitive and full of thousands of pleasure nerves so bear that in mind when you’re eating her out. Manhandling the clit or going straight to it before any kind of foreplay is a NO-NO. You need to be aware of how sensitive it is and work accordingly. The head of your penis is super sensitive, right? Well, the clit has TWICE the amount of nerve endings that the tip of your penis does. Think about that! While you love direct contact there, she’s experiencing TWICE the amount of sensation that you would, and for some women, it’s often too much that it’s painful. So stimulating the surrounding areas will send all the right messages to the pleasure “center” without the clit needing to be touched directly.

Porn is incredibly misleading and often shows a quick, rough, direct stimulation of the clit, and that’s not what works for most women. So you have to adjust your thinking on that.

Here are some ideas:

– Put PRESSURE on the hood of the clit using your tongue or fingers, but don’t rub it or suck on it! Pressure will stimulate the nerves there without it being too much. You can try flattening your tongue and gently putting pressure on the clit while using your fingers to pump in and out of her. Don’t move your goddamn tongue though! That’ll be too much. Another example of pressure is to take two fingers, place them on either side of the clit (in ‘V’) and push down there while letting your tongue go to town on the rest of her pussy. There’s several different places you can apply pressure to, so experiment, and see what she likes the best! Don’t just rely on her body’s reaction to tell you if it works. Talk to her, ask her how it feels, because men often misinterpret a physical reaction as “good” when really it’s the opposite and then women feel embarrassed to have to correct them. If you show openness and willingness for correction (don’t feel ashamed if she tells you she wants something different – it’s all about learning!) then you’ll get the best experience possible.

– Vibrations are awesome for indirect stimulation so try humming when you’re working down there. (Whole new meaning to whistle while you work!) She may like it, she may not. It’s different for every woman.

– The area around the clit is really sensitive as well, so use your mouth and fingers to work on that without ever actually coming into direct contact with her clit (or as little contact as possible). Also, the area around the vaginal opening (the hole you put your dick in) has a lot of nerve endings! Try playing around there with your tongue and your fingers – start off gently and work your way up to being a little firmer until you figure out what the right balance is for your girlfriend. She’ll start to understand what’s working for her and where her specific spots are so make sure she tells you where it feels really good and you can work on that. Warning: if you find one erogenous spot, DO NOT stop looking for more. It’s good to pay attention to that spot and keep that in your mind, but do not stop there and only focus on that one place. There are so many more for you to discover. One or two is NOT good enough! KEEP GOING!

– Try different positions with her. Changing up the angles can help even when it’s oral. She can sit on your face, she can turn over so you can eat her out from behind, you can put a pillow under her hips, etc.

– Communication is KEY. She doesn’t know enough yet about what it is that works for her, so the more you guys experiment with this, the more she’ll start to learn about herself and what feels good. So you should always keep the lines of communication open and ask her questions about what it is she needs (but don’t ask her ‘how about this?’ every 5 seconds – she’ll want to punch you). Try to make sure she’s as comfortable and as confident as possible about talking to you and giving you direction because it can be embarrassing for girls who are a little shy. Maybe you could even tell her how hot it is when she gives you directions, that you think it’s really sexy, and it turns you on. If she knows that you’re okay with her leading you more, she’ll start to think about it, and you two can work together!

If she’s oversensitive down there, that’s actually a really awesome thing for her! It does mean changing things up a bit, but it also means she can orgasm much more easily than the average woman. Stay away from direct contact with the clit, focus on EVERYTHING else down there, and make sure it’s always nice and wet. You two will learn together! HAVE FUN!

I’m so confused, I have only liked a boy in all my life. I’ve never had a boyfriend or a girlfriend. Girls and boys turn me on both. I masturbate to all, gay, lesbian and straight porn. But when it comes to been in love I’ve only really liked a boy, but I was like 13 years old, since him I haven’t like anyone. I don’t even have a clue on what my sexuality is. Am I weird?

You might be weird…but it wouldn’t have anything to do with this.

You’ll figure it out in time. You’ll eventually meet someone else that you’re drawn to and it could be a boy or a girl. It doesn’t really matter. If people ask, just pull a South of Nowhere and say “I’m not into labels”. Or answer however you feel comfortable. It doesn’t matter what you say to them because it’s not their business anyway.

Don’t worry about defining your sexuality. Greet everyone you meet with the same openness and see the opportunity. Why limit yourself by trying to figure out your “sexuality”? That’s going to develop on its own when you meet more people and start dating. Until then, no labels, and discover what it is you like on your own time and on your own terms. This is not some case where there’s a predetermined set “date” where suddenly time’s up and everyone yells at you to sign up for one of the clubs or you’re a freak of nature. Don’t let anyone dictate this for you because it’s not about them! Who gives a fuck about them? This is about you and only you!

I’m not sure if I’m bisexual or not. My friends get grossed out by girl on girl action but I think it’s attractive to watch and I do watch lesbian porn Ive had sex with a girl once when I was very drunk. But touching a girl sober doesn’t interest me?

I don’t know what the hell is wrong with your friends. How do you get grossed out by g/g??? They’re either freaks or liars. I’m guessing liars cause people who “protest” like that are really trying to cover up something they’re not comfortable with… And in this case, it could very well be that g/g does turn them on and they don’t know how to deal with that so they shut it down.

I think you’re a 2 on the Kinsey scale: “predominantly heterosexual, but more than incidentally homosexual”. Which breaks down to, you’re a straight girl, but women can be sexually attractive to you. You’re what I like to call a “drunk lesbian”. Believe me, there are many…many…MANY girls out there that do exactly the same thing. Changing it up a bit is a turn on for you. That’s all it means.

I think everyone (male and female) is between a 1 and 5 on the Kinsey scale, which basically rates HOW bisexual you are and what gender you lean towards MORE. I think everyone has the potential for attraction to the same sex as well as the opposite sex. Some people just lean one way more than the other and some people are more in the middle. I’ve said this a million times, but I will say it a million times more: sexuality is fluid. Stop worrying about trying to define it and just do what feels right.

Enjoy the porn, appreciate the attractiveness of the female gender, and if you ever feel in the mood to have sex with another girl again, go for it!

I’m a 19 year old boyish lesbian. I have had sex with girls but I have never made a girl a cum and I have never used sex toys. I am the dominating one in most cases and I prefer giving sex than receiving. I would like to know what would be the best way of making a girl cum. How can I make her have an orgasm. It will be really helpful if you could answer to these questions. I want to give her the best pleasure that I can. Thanks

Okay, first, have you ever had an orgasm? Whether from masturbating or with someone else? Because if you haven’t, that’s the first thing you need to do. In order to be able to understand the pleasure you’re trying to give another person, you need to experience it for yourself. That is, first and foremost, the best way to comprehend what it is you need to do, how to connect with what your partner is feeling, and to be able to give them the best experience possible.

You don’t need sex toys to make a girl orgasm (but it always helps, definitely not a bad thing). Oral is the easiest way to make a girl cum. Master that first and the rest of it you’ll learn with time.

The way you phrased it really makes me think that you take all of the pressure of sex on yourself and that you view it as your job to please the other person and know exactly how. That’s not how sex works. Sex is a physical and emotional connection between two people. It’s something you do TOGETHER, with give and take, not just one person doing all the work and the other getting all the pleasure.

You have to understand, being able to receive is GREAT, but a lot of people really enjoy giving as well (as you do!). Giving can grant just as much satisfaction as receiving, it’s just in a different way. It’s all part of the experience. You like being able to make someone feel good and that makes you feel good in turn, right? Well, remember that you’re not the only one who feels that way! Other people want to give too. They want the chance to be the one to make you cum and know what that feels like as well. So less dominating and more teamwork! You need to be able to listen to your partner and work in tandem to make this happen. It’s not a one-woman show! Talk to her, ask her questions, listen to her, watch her responses, a moan, a lip bite, a sigh, her stomach muscles contracting, etc. All of that will help you become more in tune with what she needs.

For a step-by-step process to lay it all out for you, read this:

Back to Basics

I know it’s not your first time, which is what the article is aimed towards, but it’s really specific in each step that you should think about and take into consideration. So I would definitely give the whole thing a read from beginning to end!

Hi I need some help. I’m bi and i’m 18 and me and my girlfriend are kinda bored of our 69 position and just fingering each other/kissing. We want to have sex in a more interesting way what should we try doing?

Sex in new places is always helpful and changes things up! Showers, other bedrooms, hot tub, kitchen, couch, chairs, on a washing machine going through the spin cycle…etc. And that’s only places restricted to the house! lol. Look for opportunities when you have a little bit of privacy, but also the risk of getting caught. Always a turn on! 😉 It’ll get you guys out of the rut.

I also recommend a trip to a high end sex shop! Browse through it together for new things that stand out to you both. New toys to play with is always awesome, but even just going through the store (without buying a ton of stuff!) and seeing what they have, is inspirational. It’ll give you new things to think about and be interested to try in your own way.

I must say, a necessary staple in your collection of sex toys is a strap on. You both get to take turns with it and it opens up many more positions for you to try! It should be a joint decision because you both obviously have a personal preference. If you don’t agree on one, then invest in two! WORTH. IT.

Download a .PDF file that has 101 Lesbian Lovemaking Positions here!

So.. last night me and my friend went to a party we got really drink and we made out for a while she ate me out and had an orgasm I liked it. and i’m so confused right now am I a lesbian? we haven’t talked since it happend and i’m so confused like I’ve never even had sex before and urgg

Does it matter?

You had sex with a girl and you liked it. Okay. Do you want to date her? Do you want to have sex with her again? You can do all of that and then if it doesn’t work out then maybe later down the line you’ll find a boy you’re attracted to and date/have sex with him. Maybe you’ll like that more, maybe you’ll like being with a girl more, maybe you’ll like both for the different pleasures it gave you!

Don’t rush into a gay panic. Enjoying sex with a girl simply means that you enjoyed having sex with that one particular girl. It does NOT mean that you now have to swear off boys forever, cut your hair like Justin Bieber, and eternally doom your closet to plaid button downs. (JOKING.) I mean, really, calm down. You’re not a lesbian just because you enjoyed having someone go down on you. It’s a very pleasurable sex act…

Focus on whether or not you actually want to be with the girl you had sex with. Not because she’s a girl, but because you like her, you’re attracted to her, and you want to do all those things you do with a bf/gf – cuddle, kiss, fuck, hold her hand, cry on her shoulder, bring her soup when she’s sick, dance with her at a club, talk to her about everything and anything, laugh until you cry, sit on her lap even when there’s plenty of room elsewhere, etc.

If that’s not what you want, then you’ll meet someone else you’re attracted to. Could be a guy. Could be a girl. Just go with it. We like people for being who they are, not for being a certain gender.

hi okay so i got fingered the other day (for the first time and i’m a virgin) and my pussy is really sore… is that normal? also i usually randomly get wet during the day but after i got fingered it’s more wet and i first i thought it was pee because it’s a little yellow but it smells like cum… is something wrong with me? thanku!!

Yes, it’s normal to be sore.

No, it should not be that color. Anything that’s not white or clear (and not related to your period) is an indication of an infection or an STD. See a doctor if that continues.