Tag: sex advice

where exactly is the g-spot?

The whole area is a spongy tissue like spot about the size of a quarter. It feels rougher to the touch than the surrounding tissue. The G-spot is composed of erectile tissue, which means it swells up when blood rushes to it…which is what happens when a woman is aroused. The more aroused she is, the more likely you are to find it and be able to use it!

It is located about one to two inches back from the vaginal opening inside the front vaginal wall. The “front” wall is the wall of the vagina on the same side as the belly button.

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(And in case you were wondering where the male G-Spot is…)

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im a virgin and i masturbated twice or so, but im scared that i might popped my cherry because if i got married and blood didnt come out, they’ll think i’ve had sex before which is really unacceptable in our countries, and im not sure if blood did or didnt come out, im really scared

It’s actually really common these days for your hymen to “break” (incorrect description, but we’ll get to that) as early as childhood due to exercise, sports, gymnastics, tampons, horseback riding, even bike riding. That kind of excessive pressure on your pelvic area naturally stretches the hymen on its own. It’s a myth that penetration is the only way to “break” your hymen!

In fact, the “pop your cherry” expression is ridiculously inaccurate! You can’t “break” or “pop” your hymen. Watch this video where it explains exactly what your hymen is, looks like, and how it works.

Your hymen stretches and that’s what usually causes the bleeding, but nowadays with tampons and masturbating, women are inadvertently preparing their first time experience to be a lot more pleasurable.

NOT ALL WOMEN BLEED WHEN THEY HAVE SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME.

The thing you have to understand for yourself is that bleeding is NOT an indicator of whether or not a woman is a virgin! Some girls bleed their first time and some DON’T! Some bleed even after they’ve had sex once or twice before. It all depends on how much tissue there is in the hymen and that varies depending on the individual. Some have more than others so those with more will experience a little bit more pain and bleeding. Others experience almost no pain and maybe just a spot of blood! Like a speck! Or nothing at all!

I understand that in certain cultures, blood is the “official” confirmation of virginity, but it’s so inaccurate! The only thing that determines whether or not you’re a virgin is whether or not you’ve ever had sex.

The problem with this antiquated thinking is that it was based on a time where women were less physically active. Women didn’t play sports. Women didn’t exercise (rigorously). Women didn’t use tampons. Women weren’t engaging in physical activities that would stretch the hymen. So it was far more common for them to experience pain and bleeding after their first time. So men just took that idea and made it practically a law without understanding it in the slightest. I know it’s tradition, but it’s tradition based on woeful ignorance of the female anatomy.

Today, it is becoming increasingly common for girls not to bleed at all when having sex for the first time simply based on their physical activities or masturbating or tampons. You’ll still be tight and it will uncomfortable your first time because you’ve never had sex before, but it’s very possible that you won’t bleed and it might not even be because you masturbated! It could just have happened due to your active lifestyle (not sexually active!).

I can’t tell you what to do or how to handle the situation if it arrives because it’s not my culture and I would be an idiot if I tried to advise you on yours, something of which I know nothing about. The only thing I can do is make sure that YOU understand the actual medical reasoning behind this so that you can arm yourself with that knowledge and be able to educate anyone who would question you or doubt you.

I am a virgin, and when i masterbate i squirt and that makes me nervous for my first time… Like what if i squirt and he gets grossed out!?

Guys and girls think it’s sexy as hell. It’s a total turn-on. For them, it’s like “Yes! I fucking made it happen! I’m awesome!” haha.

However, not everyone KNOWS about squirting so if the guy/girl is inexperienced, they might be taken aback by it. Not ‘grossed out’ but more like ‘what just happened and was that good or bad or what did I just do!?’.

So the best way to avoid that confusion is to talk to your partner before you do something like that. You’re likely not going to just jump into having sex first, you’ll work your way up to it so there will be some fooling around. You can use those opportunities to bring it up and tell them that you squirt sometimes. They’ll either ask you what that is or say that’s hot and want to get right to it to see if they can make you orgasm like that. 😉

Count yourself as one of the lucky ones!

I recently gave my boyfriend head for the first time, and he loved it. But I’m not sure if it’s the same for men as it is for women. When I orgasm, my clit is very sensitive so I don’t like him to continue giving me head after I finally do cum. But after a man cums, is he very sensitive down there? I can’t tell if I should swallow and then keep giving him a BJ for a little while longer, or just stop.

The absolute best thing you can do in this situation? Ask him. Talk to him about it. See what HE likes. Every guy is different.

However, yes, they get super sensitive after ejaculating, but you can gently continue for about 15 seconds after, licking his shaft and/or holding the base of his cock, just as a nice way to bring him down. Avoid the head/tip! That’s the most sensitive area and it’ll be way too sensitive for you to go near.

Some guys like it when you show a little love after they orgasm and some want you off their cock ASAP cause it’s too much. All based on personal preference! That’s why you should ask. 🙂

As for you though…I know how sensitive the clit is after orgasm, BUT women have the capacity for multiple orgasms and men do not! We were built for rapid-fire orgasms! Men need time to recover in order to work their way up again, but after a woman orgasms, she’s still aroused and can climax two or three more times much more easily and quickly after the first.

So instead of stopping altogether right after you climax, have him kiss you, play with your nipples, rub your thighs, and then after a couple minutes, go back down and continue giving you oral! He should avoid the clit when starting again, have him focus on other areas and stimulating the G-Spot with his fingers, then eventually come back to the clit. It’ll feel like it’s almost too much for you but then you’re going to EXPLODE. It’s fabulous.

Women are unfortunately far too neglected when it comes to sex, whether it’s because of lack of knowledge and education about our bodies or because of selfish partners. So you should take advantage of what we truly have to offer ourselves!

The key to multiple orgasms for women is to continue stimulation after the first climax. Kissing, rubbing, touching, grinding, humping, etc. All until you’re revved up and ready to go full speed again, which will happen within a few minutes! You need to keep your body cresting somewhere at the peak of arousal and you will have orgasms galore. He can eat you out, orgasm 1, then finger you and eat you out, orgasm 2, put his cock inside you at a particular position that stimulates the G-spot and the clit, orgasm 3 – lather rinse repeat! You can do this all night!

Men…however…you have to find a guy who can keep up 😉 Guys love to claim they have the stamina for all nighters, but when push comes to shove, they typically fall short of the finish line. It’s okay though! It’s not a test of natural sexual prowess (like guys think), but just something that comes with experience. Stamina is about endurance and the only way to build up endurance is through training. The more you do it, the more you push yourself a little more each time, the more endurance you’ll have!

Men, on average (it varies for each man, especially with age!), need a refractory period of 15-20 minutes before they can even think about going again. Women do not! In fact, that 15-20 min period will lessen our chances for a second or third orgasm. Good news is, men don’t have to use their cocks to please you so if your man is eager and willing, you can have plenty of fun without having to wait.

So your homework for tonight is to talk to your boyfriend, experiment with what he’d like after a BJ, and get cracking on some multiple orgasms for yourself! Report back and I’ll give you your grade. Don’t worry, I give points for effort. 😉

My boyfriend is planning on fingering me for the first time and I’m really nervous, like I have no idea what to expect or do or anything, could you possibly help? thanks

Fool around a lot before you go anywhere below the waist. Make sure you’re really wet (use lube if you want!).

Have him cut his nails BEFORE anything happens. Seriously.

It will be uncomfortable at first and he needs to do it gently. Your body needs time to adjust to the intrusion. So ask him to go slow, only ONE finger, and take it from there. If it hurts too much, stop and keep kissing, try again later, but he should gently ease into you when you’re really wet and slowly work up the pace.

Only do what you’re comfortable with. If you don’t like it, either stop him altogether or just ask him to do it differently. (Ie, slower, easier, whatever you need.) Don’t be nervous. You’re in control of the situation. You dictate the terms.

You will be sore after the first time, but you’re not going to experience PAIN. If it’s really hurting, then there’s something wrong with what he’s doing or you’re so nervous, you’re not letting your body relax and open up to him. Arousal is a huge factor here! The more aroused you are, the better it will feel.

So fool around, get comfortable, and let him touch you! 🙂

Im really embarrassed and self conscious of my nipples… One of them is like inverted… Is that bad?

NO! It’s not bad! Not at all! At least 10-20% of ALL women have inverted or flat nipples. It’s normal, in the same way that the color and size of areola differ from woman to woman. It’s nothing more than just a little quirk that makes your breasts YOURS. I can’t even begin to explain to you how many different kinds of breasts there are. Actually! I take that back.

How many women are there in the world? Let’s round up and say 4 billion, okay? That’s how many different kinds of breasts there are in the world. 4 BILLION. (Even the surgically enhanced women do not have identical breasts.)

Every single woman has something unique about their breasts that makes them different from the woman standing next to them. Are inverted nipples as common as some other things? No. But what difference does it make? Your partner will not care about one nipple being hidden. They want to play with your boobs. The want to squeeze and grope and lick and suck. If they can do that, they will be happy as can be!

The embarrassment stems from you and how you’re perceiving yourself, not (potential) sex partners judging you. You’re only getting in the way of yourself by making it into something shameful and weird. Nipples aren’t going to make or break the deal. It’s really not the big deal you’re making it out to be in your head.

So do what you need to do to feel better about it and take ownership of it. Don’t let it be some giant pink elephant in the room where they see you naked and you let your imagination run wild with all the things that you think they’re judging you on. Confront it! Tell them you have an inverted nipple and you’re shy about it. Show them. Let them convince you how much of a big deal it’s NOT. Honesty and openness will make any sexual experience you have so much better. They’re not going to be “turned off” or “weirded out” by it, I can absolutely promise you that.

You are normal.

There is nothing wrong with you or your nipples. Got it?

I really like rough sex. Like, choking, slapping, name calling, scratching. It gets to the point where I feel weird and dirty. Like there’s something wrong with me when my girlfriend (i’m a lesbian btw!) pulls my hair and calls me a cunt. Am I crazy?

Yes, you could be crazy. Hell, you might need to be institutionalized for all I know! That’s your life.

However…you’re not crazy because you like it rough.

EVERYONE has their thing. Everyone has something they like that’s different from someone else. Some people want to be fucked in the ass. Some people would knock your teeth down your throat if you tried to fuck them in the ass. Some people like their hair pulled and biting. Some people want to be called ‘Daddy’. Some people like being tied down. Some people like vanilla sex. Some people like threesomes. Some people like it with the lights on. Some people like voyeurism. Some people like feet. Some people like it outside.

I could go on for a very, very, very long time here, but I think I’ve made my point.

Everyone has their little kinks that they like and that’s what turns them on. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. If that’s what you WANT (key word: want) then embrace it! Enjoy and explore your sexuality. Don’t let the fear of something being “weird” or “dirty” or “wrong” turn you away from doing things that excite you (as long as you’re being safe, of course).

Dirty talk and rough sex is hardly a novel concept. There’s an element of danger, adrenaline, that’s exciting. There’s an illicit thrill in being called names that you would never accept outside of ‘play’ because it’s like being in a fantasy. Sex needs to be reinvented all the time. New ideas. New ways to take you out of your “real” world and let you experience different kinds of pleasure and ecstasy.

Pain and pleasure are only separated by a very thin veil. Both stimulate the same nerves, both release endorphins, both heighten sensitivity, etc. There’s a stigma surrounding rough sex that basically says it’s BDSM or it’s women being degraded. Bullshit. Between two consenting partners, whatever you two agree on, goes. And it’s OKAY!

Does it make you feel weird and dirty doing these things because of what others might think? What “society” thinks? Or does it make you feel that way because you feel like you’re letting yourself be taken advantage of, degraded, and you don’t like being treated that way? That’s the question you need to ask yourself. If it’s okay with YOU (and your partner) then it’s okay! There’s no need to feel weird or dirty for liking it. More people are into it than you would think!

Read the article below and see if it helps you feel a little better about yourself and understand why it is you like it. It also gives tips! 😉

SEXY ROUGH SEX

I’d love to ride my man more often, but I get so self conscious when I do. I’m not the skinniest girl and am quite chubby, and I’m so nervous about things like bouncy up and down and everything. I know it’s a great way to give guys pleasure, but I don’t get pleasure from it because I’m so nervous :/. Please help!

I completely understand. Being on top exposes all of those little areas of our bodies that we’re insecure about. The first thing to remember is that your man LOVES it when you ride him. He does! He’s not seeing or focusing on this “bulge” or that “jiggle”, he’s seeing you riding his cock and it’s the hottest thing ever to him.

However! It’s not all about the guy. YOU have to feel good about it first. And I’m going to correct you about something – it’s not just a great way to pleasure a guy; being on top is the BEST position for WOMEN!

Women are the ones who get the most out of being on top. And that’s why you should want to do this, not just cause your guy will be into it. DO THIS FOR YOU!

So…take baby steps. Work your way up to feeling better and more confident about being on top. You can’t let your insecurities about your body get in the way of YOUR pleasure. After trying this position a few times, you’ll soon realize that all those other little things that you were worried about don’t mean jack squat when you’re squeezing his dick inside of you and riding him like a fucking bronco!

The more you realize how GOOD it feels and that he’s enjoying it just as much, then the more relaxed you’ll be and the more secure you’ll feel even with the being “exposed” part.

How to take baby steps? You can make sure the room is dark. No visual stimulation, it’s just all about the sensation. Now, this would be for you, primarily. He’ll like it more when he gets to see you, but like I said, baby steps first! You can work up to it! (And he’s going to love whatever you do, really.)

You can also try reverse cowgirl. That way he’s just seeing your back and ass, there’s less exposure there for you, so you get to feel more secure and he will get an awesome view of his cock going in and out which will drive him crazy.

Basically, try to create situations where you feel comfortable being on top, however you need to do it. Think about what the things are that bother you and then think about what would make you feel more comfortable when you’re on top. Once you start feeling sexier up there (and you will because having control is hot and gives you so many more options), you’ll slowly begin to loosen the reins on your limitations and just ride the fuck out of your guy without a care in the world but getting your damn orgasm!

GO FOR IT! OWN YOUR BODY! OWN YOUR PLEASURE! YOU’RE SEXY AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!

im a girl,how to stop squirting when having an orgasm? is it embarassing? it lookslike pee.

Wow. I have to say that’s an unusual request, lol. Most women are trying to figure how to make it happen once! 😉 Just to make sure that you ARE indeed ejaculating and not peeing: female ejaculation would not smell like pee and it would be a clear fluid. Now that we’ve established that…

You shouldn’t feel embarrassed about it! NOT AT ALL! Sex partners usually find it really hot because to them it’s like a testament of their sex-tastic abilities. (Even if that’s not accurate, haha.) It’s one of the most elusive types of orgasms! Honestly, you should submit some tips to this blog about what you do that gets you to squirt all the time. There are TONS of women who would love to know!

Squirting is usually linked to G-Spot orgasms. So to try to avoid it, I would suggest focusing on clitoral stimulation, gentler intercourse (not as frenetic and not with high intensity), and different positions that are NOT angled in a way to stimulate the g-spot.

Unfortunately, that’s only an educated guess. I really can’t tell you how to “stop”. I don’t think there is a way to stop altogether other than just not having an orgasm. Your body climaxes in a natural way and if ejaculating is what it wants to do, then that’s the way your body is!

Personally, I don’t think you should try to stop. It’s just going to make you afraid to orgasm, which is NOT something you want to do! Just put some towels down and gush away! There is nothing to be ashamed of and you’re actually lucky that you get to experience squirting at all! At least 75% of women have never even been able to experience it once…

Okay so I’m a 15 year old girl and i have these like inner lips or what ever they are called in my vag that are long and ugly but idk if they will naturally just go away or if they will stay, idk but they make me really self conscious about my vagina. Idk if you can help or what but i need some reassurance. Please!

First off, the correct terminology for your “inner lips” is the “inner labia” or “labia minora”, but I think the second one sounds stupid – like it’s a moon in another galaxy or something… Sheesh. There’s also the “outer labia”.

Second, your vagina is not ugly. Unless you can somehow bounce a ball on your labia like a trampoline, then there is no problem and you are perfectly normal!

We are trained to believe that there is one NORMAL type of V and that’s the one we see in porn. SO FALSE! Women in porn are, for the most part, very similar when it comes to their bodies. As are men. That’s why they were hired. They fit someone’s standard of “most appealing” and made sure everyone became a carbon copy. It sucks, it’s misleading, and it trains its viewers to like one thing and one thing only – everything else is “wrong” or “weird”. WE MUST CHANGE THIS!

There are, arguably, 30 different types of vaginas, with different shapes, sizes, and colors.

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Labia come in all shapes and sizes. Most women aren’t symmetrical down there, and it’s incredibly common for a woman’s inner labia to protrude beyond the outer labia. So believe me when I tell you that your pussy is fabulous and just as it should be.

And you wanna hear something even better? YOU’RE LUCKY. You’ve seen how many women come onto this blog and ask me about how to orgasm, right? Orgasms don’t come easily for most. Well, you’re going to find out something different.

The type of labia you have, with longer inner lips, actually makes sex better! The inner labia are chock-full of nerve endings, and they encase the clitoral head, which means that during sex, there’s a whole lot more friction going on. Friction = stimulation = BIG O’s. When you’re ready to have sex someday, you’re going to be very pleased to discover just how nice that feels… (Don’t you dare have sex yet! You’re only 15! Waiting will not kill you and I promise, sex will be so much better if you wait a few years.)

Love the V. Worship the V. Accept the V!

Being self conscious over something that is REALLY not a big deal to others isn’t worth your time. You have a normal vagina that holds many pleasures so please go explore it and find out all about it until someday (in the distant future) when you’re ready for someone else to go spelunking down there for you. 😉