Tag: sex advice

Do you consider receiving oral sex as losing your virginity

It depends. I think oral is a very intimate sexual act that someone is performing on you. It really all comes down to what you feel and how you look at it. Personally, I don’t think penetration is the be all, end all defining sex act that means you’re no longer a “virgin”.

If having a penis inside you is the only way to end your “virginity” then there are a HELL of a lot lesbians out there that are still virgins despite having multiple partners for years… It’s all in your personal perspective. What line would you need to cross to no longer consider yourself a virgin?

And is it really that important to make the distinction? Virgin, not a virgin, half a virgin, whatever! You’re engaging in sexual activity. That’s all.

Does deep throating hurt? :/

Not necessarily. I mean, it’s uncomfortable because of the gag reflex issue, but I wouldn’t say it hurts… The only time it would hurt is if the guy is really rough with you (which you should immediately put a stop to). Deepthroating is uncomfortable, but many get used to it. You may find your jaw or throat being sore afterwards. The only time pain would occur is if the guy tries to force your head down or fucks your mouth while he’s in that deeply. If this ever happens, I’d be hard pressed to find a reason not to break up with him. I’d dump his ass so fast, he wouldn’t even have time to get his pants back on before he’s out the door.

Guys, never force yourself down your partner’s throat. It’s painful, they may vomit on you, they may bite you, and you are truly a gigantic fucking dickwad for doing it.

To help with your gag reflex, try squeezing your left thumb in a fist. The pressure point there is often effective to help people with a sensitive gag reflex so that could definitely come in handy for you! It works for some people, but not everyone.

The best way to do it is to relax your mouth, your throat, and gradually work him in deeper. Effectively “swallowing” him. Be aware of your breathing and make sure you take a breath right before he goes down all the way. Breathe through your nose after that. This is something you do with practice and you work your way up to being able to take him all the way in. Do not try to force his cock down your throat the first time! Little by little, push yourself a little further each time you give him a blow job.

It also depends on the size of what you’re trying to work with. The bigger they are, the more difficult deepthroating is. Please be aware that not everyone can deepthroat so while, of course, I say give it a shot and try it, don’t force yourself! Some people simply cannot do it and that’s okay!

Hi, so my bf and I talked and it turns out I’m not that great at sex. The thing is I was a virging when I met him so I don’t have any experiance, on top of that I’m scared of failure and am too self-conscious to really act on my ideas. His previous gf was a big time slut wih all the right moves and I feel like I’m letting him down. Can you give me some tips on how to be more daring and not be so damn shy and just blow his mind?

Did he TELL you that you’re not good in bed???? If he did, I say tell him he can go fuck himself and you can find someone better than that asshole. No one should ever make you feel insecure or tell you that you’re not “up to par” in bed. That’s fucking bullshit. You don’t even want to be with an dickhead who acts like that! He doesn’t deserve the time of day from you!

However, if this is more of YOUR perceived insecurities and not exactly what he said, then let’s talk about it.

First things first, you have to forget about his ex. You will never get anywhere by comparing yourself to her. And just because she was experienced, doesn’t mean she was any good. He’s with YOU now, not her. Obviously she was lacking somehow for him because he’s with you now. Make sure you remind yourself of that every time you start to let those thoughts creep back in, self-doubt, and comparing yourself. The ex doesn’t matter. It’s all about you and him right now.

I know you said you talked to him, but what did he say exactly? If he was looking for something in bed that you guys haven’t been doing, then he should have been specific about what it was. How else are you going to know? Talk to him, communicate, find out what it is that he wants that you guys aren’t doing and then test it out.

Enthusiasm and confidence are the biggest benchmarks of good sex. It’s a huge turn on for both men and women. Taking charge with confidence is one of the hottest things you can do. So to hell with his ex, he’s yours now! Act on your ideas! I know you have them. I think that you know exactly what you want to do and how to spice things up, but you’re holding back because you’re worried about being held up to ex for comparison. Nothing is going to change for you until you stop thinking like that and let the past be the past. He wants to be with you so instead of being shy and insecure, let this be your damn victory parade! He’s going to find it the hottest thing ever.

Honestly, I think that’s what it comes down to. You’re letting the “idea” of his experienced ex get in between you and it’s interfering with your sex life! You’re not letting him down, I promise you. And it’s not all about him! What about you? Are you getting enough satisfaction from your sex life? I’m gonna guess no. Why? Because you’re too freaked out about not being good enough to enjoy it fully. Or maybe he’s a shit lay. I don’t know! But you owe it to yourself to try to figure this out.

Talk to him, talk about what he feels is missing, talk about what you’re not getting either, tell him what you’re worried about, tell him that you’re worried about not matching up. That’s something he would want to know! He’d want to know that you’re feeling that way so that he can reassure you and tell you just how wrong you are. Honesty is the place to start. If he understands where you’re coming from, that will help both of you so much more.

Then you can throw him down, get on top, and focus on nothing else but fucking the living hell out of him. Do it exactly the way you want to do it and the way I know you’ve been thinking about doing. It’s the first step to regaining your confidence and proving to yourself that you know what you want. It’s not about him – it’s about you. If you are confident and open and eager, you will blow his mind.

It’s not about the ‘tricks’ or this move over that move, it’s about how passionate you are with each other, your feelings for each other, and the connection you share. That’s what sets you apart from any other girl he’s been with. When you are YOU, when you let go of your inhibitions and are completely yourself with him, that alone will put you in your own category and there will never be any comparison.

If i fingered myself for the first time, would i bleed? Like does that ‘pop the cherry’?

Watch this video.

You cannot “pop your cherry”. It’s a grossly incorrect term. (By ‘grossly’ I mean both gross and huge.) Your hymen is probably already stretched or torn enough from other normal, everyday activities that using your fingers wouldn’t be enough to cause bleeding. It is possible though.

Just watch the video.

Im a girl and when im horny i look at pictures like the ones on your page and hump the edge of my bed instead of fingering. Is that wierd?

Not in the least.

Everyone has their preferred method. Whatever gets you off, gets you off! That’s why I’m always trying to tell girls who ask me about masturbating not to conform to what they think masturbating is “supposed” to be and instead just explore to figure what makes them feel good. Humping a pillow or the side of the bed or a rolled up blanket are all actually very common forms of masturbating.

WHATEVER WORKS! GET IT DONE!

I haven’t had sex in ages and I’m really missing the feeling of playing around and having sex, but I never see my boyfriend because he and I live a thousand miles away from each other. I nearly had sex with one of my friends earlier today because I was feeling so horny but I stopped myself, I don’t know what to do :(

Long distance relationships suck. That’s just the basic truth. There’s nothing fun about them. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s what we have to go through when we really care about someone.

First, you need to talk to your boyfriend about what you’re going through. I guarantee he’s feeling the same. You both want to stay faithful, but yes, you still have sexual needs. Is monogamy absolutely what you want? Do you want to give each other a “pass”? Would you be interested in being “monogamish”?  It’s a discussion to have. And if you choose to go that route, set clear rules and parameters for you both.

If monogamy is your choice, then you have to step it up. Skype sex, phone sex, naughty texts, getting as much intimate one-on-one time during visits, etc. Make those moments count so that when you feel yourself getting antsy, you won’t look for the nearest body to help you out. Instead, you’ll want to go home, call him up, and let him help you take care of yourself.

Also, invest in a very, very good vibrator. Hell, get several of them. Couldn’t hurt! You want to be able to do what you need to do on your end to make sure you’re not totally depriving yourself of sexual gratification. That’s just not helping anyone!

Try to keep yourself busy with friends, family and loved ones. Keep an active social life to take your mind off being away from your boyfriend and the lack of sex. And, if this is really what you want, STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE YOU DON’T TRUST YOURSELF AROUND. Otherwise, you know exactly the kind of temptation you’re putting in front of you and you know there’s a reason why you’re doing it… Why put yourself in those situations when you want to be faithful to your guy? Questions to ask yourself…

Join a club. Go to the gym. Take spin classes. I don’t know! Anything to keep you active and busy.

The real question here is, did you reach that point with your friend just because you were horny or because there’s something else going on? Do you feel like you’re drifting apart from your boyfriend? Are you lonely? Because situations like that are not about the lack of sex. Going through long dry spells are manageable (they’re not fun, but they are manageable). So when “almost” mistakes like that occur, it’s about something much more than being horny. Maybe you’re rethinking the commitment you made? It’s okay if you are. You’re allowed to decide that this relationship isn’t working for you anymore. That’s life. So don’t guilt trip yourself about it if that’s the case.

Think it over. Talk to your boyfriend. Make some changes in your relationship that will help prevent something like that near-miss from happening again. Long distance is rough and it means making a lot of sacrifices. Sometimes the sacrifice is more than worth it. Sometimes it’s not. What is it for you?

What is a vagina suppose to smell and taste like? Some people say fishy but I’m not really sure…

Ack! Okay, well, there’s no one smell to a vagina. It just smells like pussy. That’s it. Pussy. Everyone’s pussy is unique so there’s going to be something a little different about everyone’s smell.

The typical description is slightly musky. But it changes depending on whether you just got out of the shower, you’re on your period, after sex, etc. There’s different smells for all of them.

The only time the “fishy” smell comes into play is when there’s a build up of bacteria. If that’s strong, see a doctor ASAP, because you likely have a bacterial or yeast infection. If there’s ever a really strong scent emanating from down there, it’s a sign that there’s a problem. Everyone’s pussy has a smell at some time or another, it’s normal, but it just should never be overpowering.

Pussy doesn’t smell bad. It doesn’t smell like roses either. It’s just pussy. There’s nothing else like it! 😉

hi, i’ve been going out with my man for two years and i’m still a virgin. and he respects that. i’ve never masturbated. case is, these past two months, he’s been opening up a whole new world literally. i gave my first blowjob. it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. and he tried to go down on me but i just wasn’t feeling anything. maybe i was too nervous? and a couple nights ago, we tried to have sex. but it just hurt. ALOT. so i told him to stop, and we didn’t. any tips, recommendations?! PLEASE!

One, please try masturbating. Masturbating is a big part of a healthy sex life. It’s the best way to learn about your body and what you like. You need to know what makes you feel good, before he can try to make you feel good.You can’t go into sex expecting your partner to know everything and be able to give you the maximum amount of pleasure possible – it just doesn’t work like that. So touch yourself, play with yourself, see what happens! It’ll make your first time better, trust me.

Yes, you were probably too nervous when he went down on you. Try, try, try again! Practice makes perfect. (Rhythm and circles are your life.) Help him out, lead him in the right directions. COMMUNICATE. But in order for him to please you, you have to know what you need. That’s where masturbating comes in! You’ll learn a great deal more about yourself that would take 10x longer to learn with a partner. You’ll figure out that small things things like breathing deeply and focusing will allow the pleasure to start building. It doesn’t just happen for women the way it happens for men. We have to focus, they don’t have to focus like we do. Of course there are exceptions to this, but on average, they don’t have to put much effort into getting a hard on or shooting their load (compared to women).

As for your first blow job, congrats! Put a trophy on the shelf 😉 You’ve been together for 2 years now, so exploring this new aspect of your relationship is new and exciting! Have fun with it and each other.

Before even thinking about sex, foreplay is a MUST so you should focus on trying to master that before attempting sex (again). That means blow jobs, hand jobs. have him finger you (GENTLY), have him go down on you, etc. All this foreplay will actually help you so much when it comes to intercourse.

The more you play with each other and find out those little spots and kinks that really turn you on…the better your sex life will be! You need to wade into the pool instead of just plunging in all at once. Take it slow, step by step. You don’t need to jump from first blow job to full on intercourse!

The next time you two try again, try to have an orgasm first. So…lots and lots and lots of foreplay. I really can’t stress that enough. You need to be soaking wet and fully aroused before even attempting anything. This will help minimize the amount of discomfort you experience during your first few times.
Boys, take note please, foreplay is essential to a woman’s pleasure. I know it’s sometimes agonizing for you because you just wanna skip right to it because you’re ready and eager and dying for her, but this is what your partner needs for it to be just as enjoyable! Of course, there’s exceptions for quickies, but do not ignore the value of foreplay, please!
If you orgasm first (whether through him fingering you or going down on you), your body will relax, be fully aroused, and well prepared for him to be inside of you. Read this post for more about the importance of foreplay and how to make your first time as pleasant as possible.
Feeling a small discomfort your first couple of times is normal. If you’re not masturbating or even having him finger you, then you’ll be much tighter and you will likely experience more discomfort than you need to. It should not be terrible, excruciating pain though!
Foreplay, turned on, soaking wet, add lube, and then tell him to go as slow as physically possible and to wait for your go ahead when you feel your body adjust to the intrusion and you’re ready to go for it.
The first time does not have to be the usual missionary position. Try side by side. That position allows for shallow thrusts and you can show him how you want your clit to be touched, guide his hand there! He can alternate between rubbing your clit and playing with your breasts. It’s win/win. If that doesn’t work for you then try other positions until you find one that feels good for both of you!
Take it slow, explore each other, masturbate, be safe, and enjoy yourself. 🙂

I’m a 19 year old girl and I have a boyfriend who I love yet all I can think about when I get horny are other girls. I watch porn and it’s always lesbian porn. I’ve been with 1 girl before (but we didn’t do too much) and it was amazing. I can’t help but have this feeling that I want to be with a girl sexually again. It really turns me on. He knows how I feel and said if I slept with a girl he wouldn’t be mad but there are no girls I know who would do that with me…what should I do?

First off, are you sexually attracted to your boyfriend? I know you said you love him, but that doesn’t mean you’re IN love with him. And if you are attracted to him, are you MORE attracted to girls?

It sounds like you really like your boyfriend, but the fact that you want to sleep with someone else really shows that this relationship may not be the right one for you. It’s the same thing as you wanting to sleep with another guy. It’s still having sex with another PERSON. Would he be okay with you having sex with another guy? I’m going to guess no. He wants monogamy, but in his mind, it doesn’t apply to same-sex, because he thinks another girl can’t compete with him. WRONG. Sleeping with a girl is just like sleeping with a guy, feelings are involved! It’s having sex with someone that is not your significant other – guy or girl makes no difference.

I can’t tell you what to do or what your feelings are for your boyfriend. All I can do is tell you what I would tell any of my friends – if you’re thinking about other people and you want to sleep with other people, then the person you’re in a relationship with might not be the one for you and it might be time to end it.

This isn’t a case of a long distance relationship or long term relationship that needs spicing up (special circumstances) – this is simply you not getting the sexual gratification you need and you’re seriously considering finding it elsewhere. Why be in a relationship at all if you want to fuck someone else? If you’re thinking about other people when you’re with your boyfriend? What’s the point?

If you want to be with a girl, I think you should give yourself the chance. But I wouldn’t advise doing it while you’re in a committed relationship. If you want to explore something different, something that is REALLY calling to you, then you owe it to yourself to do that, just don’t string your boyfriend along with it. It’s not fair to him – even if he thinks it’s okay because I’m pretty sure you know how much it’s NOT okay… Your emotions are already invested in this. Is cheating for you really defined by whether it’s with a man or a woman? Sex is sex.

You’ll eventually find another girl that you want to be with or experiment with. They’ll come along somehow, somewhere, but you have a better chance of finding that when you are not in a relationship.

You’re young! This time of your life is all about exploring new things and discovering yourself. Give yourself the to opportunity to do that. Now is not the time to play it safe. This is your life! Don’t you want to see what’s out there?

i was wondering if sex is different with a guy uncircumcised? Does it feel differently?

Honestly, you really can’t tell the difference when he’s in you. It’s a centimeter of extra skin. That’s it! The only time you’re really going to notice it is when you’re sucking/jerking him off and that’s because you’re up close and personal. The foreskin actually gets pulled back when he has an erection anyway so it’s not until you’re finished that it really becomes noticeable.

As for the difference in sex…it depends on the GUY! Not his dick. If the guy is terrible in bed then it doesn’t matter whether or not he’s circumcised! It makes no difference. Circumcised/uncircumcised, it’s still about his knowledge of the female body and experience with sex. That’s what will make it feel differently.

As a side note, uncircumcised men are actually more sensitive down there! They have more nerves and derive more pleasure from little things that circumcised men wouldn’t even feel. Fun!

There have actually been studies done that show that uncircumcised men make better lovers. The theory is that because their penis is more sensitive (the head), they are actually able to be more in tune with what women like. It’s a theory! It’s not proven. Just throwing it out there for you. I personally don’t believe it. I’ve heard too many different accounts of experiences with uncircumcised men (good/bad) that make me believe it really does come down to the guy and what he does with it.