Tag: sex advice

is it harder for a guy to cum when he has consumed some alcohol?

Alcohol definitely has a negative impact on guys when it comes to sexual function (more often than not). If they overdo it, it can lead to them having a hard time even getting an erection, let alone maintaining it.

Alcohol is a depressant. It works on the nervous system by slowing down brain function, breathing, and pulse. The effect is usually psychologically stimulating, you become freer and less inhibited. However, while it can boost sexual desire by helping a person to relax (hi girls!), it can decrease performance (hi boys!).

Heavy drinking for men decreases blood flow to the penis, reduces the intensity of their orgasm, and can dampen their level of excitement. Which basically means it’s harder for them to get it up, keep it up, or cum at all. Alcohol dulls the senses so they don’t get the same sensitivity or excitement. It just doesn’t feel as good!

Now, this is with HEAVY drinking. A couple beers will not render a guy incapable of having sex or cause any problems. It just loosens them up and increases their sex drive like everyone else. It’s the “overdoing it” part that’s a problem. Everyone’s tolerance level is different so it affects guys sexual performance differently as well. One guy might have a really hard time maintaining an erection after 7 beers, but another might be able to go ahead with business as usual! It’s really about how their body metabolizes the alcohol.

As a rule of thumb though: too much alcohol = bad sex. For men and women! So drink in moderation and stay sober enough to really be able to enjoy yourselves!

Hi there! Both my girlfriend and I, are virgins. We plan on giving each other our virginity and we talk about it a lot (I’m 17, she’s 18) I told her I would definitely eat her out because I’m comfortable with that and I want to please her also. I just have one question, is it sanitary? We’re both very clean people who haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone but ourselves whilst masturbating. I heard you’re suppose to wash your face after or not get cum on your face because of diseases? Help?

It’s absolutely sanitary! And, no, you’re not going to get an STD from having cum on your face or from not washing your face after sex…

If your partner has an STD or another communicable disease then you’ll get it from engaging in any form of unprotected sex – oral or intercourse. It has nothing to do with you leaving cum on your face for too long or something, haha.

Don’t worry about it. Just wipe it off with the back of your hand or on her thighs or her stomach or even the sheets, and keep on going! It would actually be incredibly insulting/rude if you just left right after eating her out to wash your face… Sex gets messy and good sex is even messier! Enjoy it!

On the flip side, semen actually contains properties that are really good for your skin! Weird but true…

I’m a girl. And I desrcibe myself as bisexual. But when I watch gay porn or sometimes even shemale porn it gets me off so easy, as weird as that may sound. But I’d rather have sex with girls.. I’m so confused please help!

Here’s a box:

Don’t put yourself in it.

So I am trying to figure out some new ways to spice up me and my gf relationship she has been acting like she isn’t into sex anymore ik she still loves me so what are some ways I can make her want to have sex?

If this is a sudden thing, my first suggestion is to talk to her about it directly. There might be something deeper going on than her just not being in the mood. If there’s a bigger issue going on, trying to encourage sex and not acknowledging a relationship problem will only make things much, much worse.

But if you’re certain that your relationship is stable and that there’s nothing going on with her, with work, family, friends, etc. Then let’s talk about your sex life.

In the words of Jerry Seinfeld, “The basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen, and women are like fire. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what [they’re] doing [they] can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur.”

Sex for women doesn’t happen with a snap of your fingers. It’s not just about the body, it’s about the mind as well. Which is why you can’t think about just how to make her want sex, you need to think about improving ALL aspects of your relationship, ESPECIALLY the non-sexual aspects. It’s about the perfect storm. You need to have everything aligned in order for your sex life to be at its peak.

Also, women need sex to be worth it. Women will always choose cuddling or an early night over a mediocre sexual experience. It’s like, why bother? Why go through the trouble if all they’re going to get is something lackluster? So you need to make sure it’s worth it. Make it exciting! Get her excited about it! If she’s excited about sex, then she’ll be the one jumping on YOU. So, in order to sexually motivate your girl, you have to work on making sex exciting for her so that she considers it a priority over running errands or getting an extra hour of sleep. How? Here are some tips:

– Be spontaneous. Whether it’s surprising her with a home cooked meal and setting the scene with candles and music or just popping up somewhere to give her flowers and a quick kiss before leaving. Spontaneity is the best way to spice up your sex life. The key is not to think about SEX while doing these things. You want to improve the romance and get back the spark in your relationship. When you have that, sex naturally follows. Don’t make the mistake of “finding ways to have sex”. Work on your RELATIONSHIP. Do nice random sweet little things for her throughout the day. They don’t have to big huge, grand gestures. Little things often mean so much more than elaborately planned events. Believe it or not, something as simple as sending her sweet texts to show you’re thinking about her or getting her favorite takeout without her having to ask, or cleaning for her, or giving her a handwritten love note will go a LONG way to help your sex life. Show her that you care. That’s a huge aphrodisiac. There’s nothing better than to feel loved, wanted, and cared for. Plus, by being spontaneous, you have a better chance of getting her out of her own head and freeing up her body to relax and be open to arousal. One of the biggest roadblocks to sex for women is their mind. They think too much and get distracted too easily. If you catch her off guard, you have a better chance of keeping her focused on sex rather than have her thinking about all the other stuff she has to do. Keep her in the moment. Try talking dirty to her! Tell her what you want to do to her. Make sure she’s REALLY there with you. 🙂

– Show affection without expectations. Women know when you want to fuck. You start with all these little touches and not-as-subtle-as-you-think gestures and we know it just means you want to fuck. That’s not a bad thing. The bad thing is when you show affection ONLY when you want sex. So show her affection without any ulterior motive for sex. Kiss just to kiss. Compliment just to compliment. Hold her hand, give her a massage, kiss her, little touches, etc. Do all of that WITHOUT any thought of sex or attempting to take it any further. It’s a great feeling just to have someone want to be affectionate with you without EXPECTING anything to come of it. It will put her in the mood for later!

– Talk about sex. Work it into the conversation at an appropriate time. Maybe describe a fantasy you have or something you want to do to her. The idea is not to have sex right after that, but to get her mind working. It’s like foreplay without even touching her. Get her THINKING about sex and have her thinking about it during the day. The best thing is if she reciprocates and tells you about her fantasies as well. This leads to better communication and, of course, better sex! Describing scenarios and fantasies will awaken your senses and help you better understand what she wants. If you understand what she wants, she’ll be much more eager to have sex.

– Dress decently! Don’t be a slob. Actually take some time to think about your appearance and the clothes you’re wearing. Don’t wear wrinkled crap, make sure you actually match, try layers, and an ironed button down with the sleeves rolled up to your elbows is sexy as helllllll. Maybe you should even take a trip to the mall to get yourself some new clothes! Well dressed men are extremely attractive and draw attention. So if it means taking an extra 5-10 minutes to get dressed, do it. If you start paying more attention to how you dress, it will have an affect on her. If you look good, you’ll feel good, which will make her feel good, which will help your sex life!

– Foreplay. Anything can be foreplay. Something as simple as stopping to hold her waist and kiss her neck and stroke her back before moving on to do whatever you were doing before.  PAY ATTENTION TO FOREPLAY. PROLONG FOREPLAY. All those little touches and little moments that you make a conscious effort to be affectionate with her will help put her in a more sexual mood. It’s all about warming her up. And when you’re in bed, take your time, touch her everywhere EXCEPT the “main” places. Men truly do not understand the value of foreplay for women and how it affects a woman’s sexual experience. Foreplay is what will define whether or not the sex is good. You could lose the game before you even start…

– Hug her. Yep. That’s it. Find ways to just hug her really tightly, hold her and make it last for at least 30 seconds. Why is this important? Well, hugs are nice! Who doesn’t like being hugged by someone they love? It’s a great feeling. Also, when you hold your girlfriend like that, it produces oxytocin (particularly for women), which is the hormone that facilitates trust and a sense of sexual connection and desire. Turn your head into her hair, breathe in deeply, let her know that way that you just like holding her, being near her, touching her. You want to have an easy going, comfortable, tactile rapport with your girlfriend. Hugs, hand holding, touching, etc. Like I said, it’s not about sex, it’s about intimacy and creating the desire for sex.

– Notice her time of day. Does she prefer morning sex, afternoon sex, or sex at night? Does she like having sex after a work out? Does she like it on the weekends? When she’s feeling her best, that’s when she’ll want sex more. So when does she feel her best? Paying attention to WHEN she’s in the mood will help increase your chances in the future to capitalize on those moments!

– Tease her in public. It’s exciting, a little bit dangerous with the possibility of being discovered, and it’s a way to show her that you’re craving her. Be covertly “inappropriate” while out in public. Ie, while sitting across the table from friends, talking about something inane, slide your fingers up her thigh and just around her underwear line. Do this for about 15 seconds and then remove your hand. Do a couple of these in a night and she’ll attack you as soon as you walk in the door or even as early as the car. 😉

After my boyfriend and i had sex, he ate me out. When he finished and came up to kiss me he had such a horrible taste in his mouth and all over his lips. It smelled like sweaty armpits and garbage and fish and just ugh. Obviously the first thing i thought was that it was from me. What could have caused that odor? He also caught a cold sore the next day. It looked bad. As if there were about 3 on his lip at the same time. I didnt want to stare though. We didnt discuss this afterwards either.

It sounds like you have a bacterial infection that you should see a doctor about for treatment and it sounds like you gave your boyfriend oral herpes which he should see a doctor for as well.

Your help would be fab, whenever I masturbate I don’t get any real pleasure from fingering myself, whether as when I’m with my boyfriend, it feels better than clitoris stimulation does… is that weird? Is there anyway to change that? How can I make it feel as good as when he does it?

The good news is that you already know what you SHOULD be feeling and you’re not getting.

It’s absolutely normal that it feels better with your boyfriend. A sexual partner, with the intimacy and surprise that comes with another person feels amazing and it’s why people like having sex instead of just staying home by themselves… If masturbating was an adequate substitution for sex, there would be a MUCH happier world out there…

BUT! The fact that you struggle to find any pleasure at all is not something that should happen. Masturbating, while certainly not better than (GOOD) sex, is a pleasurable activity that teaches us a lot about ourselves and what we enjoy.

My suggestion is to try doing different things than what your boyfriend does to you. Experiment. Instead of trying to replicate his actions, find your own. It may be penetration, it may be clitoral stimulation, it may be both! But I think you need to try a new path instead of trying to recreate what you do with him. You can’t do what he does to you because he’s not there! That doesn’t mean that there aren’t OTHER ways to make yourself feel good.

Try a vibrator. Go slower when working yourself up. Make sure you’re really horny and wet before touching yourself. Relax. Close your eyes. FEEL what your body responds to and act accordingly.

The biggest and most common mistake I hear from girls when they have trouble with masturbation, is that they’re doing what they think they’re “supposed” to do to masturbate instead of giving their body what it’s asking for. Ie. Fingering. You should NOT jump into that first thing. You need to work yourself up, get your arousal to its peak before even considering it. Some girls don’t even want penetration at all.

Stop thinking about what masturbating is “supposed” to be and what it is you do with your boyfriend. Pay attention to your body and find out what it is you like. You have to listen closely and take your time. Once you figure it out, it’s going to make your sex life 1000x better! 😉

Mainstream porn is pretty indoctrinating. I agree that it paints a pretty unrealistic picture as to what constitutes good sex. With this in mind, I’m often concerned with the size of my penis. Now I’ve heard that performance and presence of mind are everything. But a number of random girls have told me that size does matter a little. Your thoughts?

nymphoninjas:

Regardless of the size of your cock all guys need to learn how to satisfy a lady with their mouth and hands. Mainly because most girls need more than just penetration to be pleasured, and also because if you can give your girl an orgasm before you even take your pants off you’ll feel much less pressure about your performance and size. 

How can I ask a girl if she is into girls? Or how I could know without asking?

Check the nails.

If they’re reasonably short, go ahead to the second step. 😉

Talk about past relationships! Work it into the conversation. If you’ve dated a girl, mention that and see what her response is. If she’s into girls, you need to provide an opening for her to say “oh yeah I dated this girl once…” or “I would so sleep with her” etc.

If you admit to your sexual interests, it opens it up for her to reciprocate by admitting her own. Just bring it up in a casual dialogue and see what response you get.

You’d be surprised how easily that works. People are much more open about their sexuality now. Not everyone is, of course, but the number of people being open and comfortable with their sexuality grows every day. 🙂

If you’re friends with any of her friends or people she knows, ASK THEM! I’ve done it a thousand times. I meet someone that I’m curious about, but I don’t want to be forward, I talk to her friends. I’m usually pretty blunt with them (because I already know them) and I get my answers that way. Then I feel confident enough to approach!

So many girls are not what you would not expect because they’re not “stereotypical gay”. Many are actually quite open to being with other women. I’ve discovered many a bisexual just by asking her friends, lol.

Sorry, but even if you have the best “gaydar” in the world, there’s still no way to tell if someone is a lesbian or not. Lesbians don’t fit into one mold. There’s a certain “type” of course, which is usually the short hair and butch clothes/attitude, but that’s not always accurate. And there are many “femme” lesbians. Then there’s the girls that are bi and that’s just a crapshoot. So unless someone out there creates a device that you can point and scan people to determine their sexuality, we’re left with only one option: hearing it from that person (or one of their friends).

My boyfriend wants to see me with another girl and he wants to join with us. Im not sure how to go about finding another girl. I want to be with another girl for him. I’ve always been curious about being with a girl.

Do you have a friend who knows a friend? That’s usually the safest way to go about it. I don’t really like the whole idea of “picking up a stranger in a bar” for a threesome.

Are there any girls that you’re acquainted with (not REAL friends) that you’re attracted to? Who stands out to you? You said you’re curious about being with another girl so what girl are you most attracted to? Someone will come along. Not gonna lie, it’s tricky when you’re not already in the same circle of friends, but you can make it happen.

It’s a matter of finding someone you like (both of you), someone you feel comfortable with, and then that person needs to have a certain mindset that would indicate that they’re open to it.

Oh, and drinking helps…a lot. 😉

Can you catch a cold sore from giving oral sex?

Okay, let’s start off by clarifying that cold sores are a form of Herpes Simplex – Oral Herpes (HSV-1).

When someone has an outbreak, which is when they have a cold sore or a fever blister (whatever you want to call it), that’s when HSV-1 is the most contagious. When the symptoms/blisters are present, when they’re actually on your mouth, that’s when you can easily give it to someone else. Sharing a cup, sharing a towel, and yes, oral sex. If you have an outbreak and you perform oral sex on someone, you are opening them to a high risk of infection.

Oral herpes is transmitted through direct contact between the contagious area and broken skin (a cut or break) and mucous membrane tissue (such as the mouth or genitals). Herpes can also be transmitted when there are no symptoms present. There are several days throughout the year when the virus reactivates yet causes no symptoms (called asymptomatic shedding, viral shedding, or asymptomatic reactivation).

So if you have an outbreak, refrain from kissing on the mouth and performing oral sex until the sore heals and the skin goes back to normal. However, a large majority of the adult population already has HSV-1 and it’s asymptomatic for many.

There’s also a reverse! By performing oral sex on someone who has genital herpes, it would be possible to contract oral herpes – but that’s rare. Most cases of genital herpes are caused by HSV-2, which rarely affects the mouth or face.

However, you will likely contract HSV-2, genital herpes, if you perform oral sex on someone who has it, especially if they have any open sores around that area. I don’t want to freak people out, but yes, you can contract genital herpes EVEN WHEN THERE ARE NO VISIBLE SORES.

So oral herpes is a very mild disease, there’s no cure, but the biggest issue is largely cosmetic. Genital herpes, with the HSV-2 virus, however, is more painful, and can be worse if you have a suppressed immune system. The sores are easily transferred to other parts of the body so you have to be particularly careful. Wash your hands immediately if you touch a sore.

Oral and genital herpes are manageable conditions so don’t panic. Yes, you should take all the precautions you can, but if you do contract the virus, it’s not the end of the world.

Talk to your doctor!