Tag: sex advice

Hi so I’m 16, and I’m in a very good relationship. We have talked about sex, we both want it so bad. He’s not a virgin, but I am. And now We’re both in a situation where it’s very hard to see each other. So he got me a vibrator.. And I used it for the first time the other day, and when I pulled it out, there was blood on it. I’m scared now. What does this mean??

You likely tore your hymen. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely normal. If the bleeding continues or is heavy, then that would be a time to see a doctor. But from what you described, you’re fine. Everything going just as it should! 🙂

hey im the girl whos under 16 with an extremely horny girlfriend. to answer your question, im scared of sex because i have been molested, which she knows of. im not basing my fear of it off of that, but i dont like people touching me a lot, which she said she was fine with. plus i cant even get like.. a tampon in no matter what angle i aim it or position im in soooo.. and plus im young so ugh

I’m so sorry for what happened to you. I won’t presume to understand what you went through and how it affects you still, but I can see that it would affect your perception of sex and everything involved with it. It changes it – all of it.

Perhaps what you need now is to work on finding a way to change it again. Change it for the better and take back what was tainted for you so unfairly.

I think this might be a case of miscommunication. You’re coming from a very different place than your girlfriend, a very different view of everything. Because of what you went through, you’re highly sensitive to things that other people, who haven’t been through what you have, are not. Subtle touches, average physical contact, those things are different for you. So it’s possible that your girlfriend might think she’s being restrained, but it’s still too much for you. What she believes is holding back, is not what you see holding back as. Do you know what I mean?

I don’t know what your girlfriend is thinking or where she is with all of this. The best advice I can give you is to have a flat out, brutally honest, conversation with her, explaining that you feel she’s pressuring you and how uncomfortable it makes you. You’re not ready, and that’s more than okay. So find a way to communicate that to her. You’re not ready now, but it doesn’t mean you won’t ever be. You’re not ready for all of it, but maybe you’re ready for some of it. Find out what that is. Talk about it. Talk constantly. Always check in with each other. She’s feeling frustrated, you’re feeling pressured, so now you have to find a compromise.

I’m sure that if you explain to her that what she’s been doing has been too much for you, she’d feel terrible about it and pull back. Maybe you’ve been putting off having that direct of a conversation with her because you’re embarrassed or you don’t want to hurt her feelings or maybe it’s because you want to be able to give her what she’s asking for and you’re upset with yourself for not being able to. I don’t know. Only you know.

You have to figure this out for yourself and set the pace for yourself, then tell her what that is. Work with her. Don’t shut her out and don’t let her push you to places you’re uncomfortable with because you don’t want to be “weird” or make her feel guilty. This kind of situation requires an enormous amount of trust and a great deal of constant communication. It’s not easy, but it will get easier with time.

Don’t let this stop you from continuing to move forward with exploring your sexuality and your sexual needs, Just do it at your own pace and take it slooooooooow. You guys are so young. There’s nothing wrong with backing off and just taking baby steps. Think of it this way, you should try mastering each step before moving on to the next. Get your PhD in making out. Get your masters in petting and groping. Find out everything there is to know about each other – not just sex. You’re babies. Just keep your hands on yourselves instead of each other for a while. 😉

All in good time.

I’ve hooked up a guy I like about five times,we’ve been talking for about a month. I enjoy our time together when we are intimate but sometimes I find I get a little bored. He doesn’t seem to have the same reaction just by how he acts during. It feels too repetitive even though we haven’t been hooking up for that long. Any tips? I’ve given him head multiple times but he won’t go down on me. I asked and he said he doesn’t do that. Any tips to get to him to be more open to it? Thanks!

If you’re bored, end it. I could give you a ton of sex tips, but honestly, you shouldn’t have to try that hard in the beginning (ESPECIALLY in the beginning!).

If it’s not there for you, it’s just not there. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if you give him head, but he won’t reciprocate…what the fuck are you even bothering with him for? He doesn’t do that? Tell him to go fuck himself then because you’re not going to anymore. A guy who’s not willing to reciprocate, needs to get the fuck over himself, and he’s certainly not worth your time. He’s already a shitty lay!

Cut your losses now and go find someone else. There are plenty of other guys out there that are going to have more sexual chemistry with you AND they will be more than delighted to go down on you. 🙂

So I have been daiting my boyfriend for well over 6 months and I want to have sex with him (I’m a very sexual person) but he’s a virgin. Would it be weird if I took control of him and showed him how to do certain things??

Not at all! If he’s ready to have sex, by all means, take the reins. He’ll be grateful to you for it! If he’s not ready, then that’s another story, and you need to take it slow. Wait until he says or shows that he’s ready to take the next step. Don’t push.

But if you both agree that you’re ready to have sex, then go ahead! If you show him what to do, he’ll feel a lot more at ease and more confident.

my girlfriend wants me to have sex with her, but we’re both under 16 and im terrified of sex lmao. ive made it clear i wont do it, and i know she wouldnt rape me, but she keeps pushing me. help?

Okay, well, one: why are you terrified of sex?

Two: Tell your girlfriend, with all honesty – no jokes, no room for misinterpretation – that you are NOT READY. Tell her that you need her to respect that and then draw a line. Tell her what you feel comfortable doing and where the line is for what you’re not ready to do. (Ie. Anything below the waist.)

If she doesn’t respect that, then you have a much bigger problem than a horny girlfriend and you might want to consider breaking up with her. Don’t ever let someone push you into doing something you don’t feel comfortable with. They don’t have that right. Girl or boy, it doesn’t matter.

You are both way too young. So tell her to slow down, that YOU need her to slow down, and see what happens. Sex will be there when you’re ready for it. There’s no rush. Seriously, it’s not a race! There’s no house on fire! If she’s horny, she can handle it herself. She’s not going to die if she doesn’t have sex.

Just make your boundaries clear and if she keeps pushing them, then you need to push back and show her just how serious you are. This isn’t a joke, this isn’t something she can seduce you into doing. Tell her to stop when she goes too far and if she doesn’t, end it with her. Because no one ever gets to do that to you. They’re not respecting your wishes and they’re not respecting YOU. No healthy relationship can work that way. It’s a fundamental issue of respect. If she shows none for you, then how can you be with her? Just draw the line.

Okay so i’m 16 and a complete virgin and i’m dating a 19 year old whose very experienced. I was recently fingered for the first time by him and it felt amazing. Now he wants to go down on me really badly and I want to do it too, but my friend said that’s going too fast for someone like me who hasn’t done really much with guys and i don’t masturbate. But i was fine and loved it when he fingered me, am I allowed to let him go down on me?

The biggest problem you’re having right here is the fact that you’re letting your friend dictate what you’re “allowed” to do. That’s ridiculous. It’s their opinion, but you don’t have to agree with it. You do what feels right for YOU.

If you feel comfortable and you want to progress with your relationship, then that’s YOUR right! No one gets to tell you what you are or are not ready for. Are you young? Yes. But honestly, you’re not TOO young. If this is really what you want, not something you feel pressured into, then it’s okay. You’re exploring, experimenting, etc. Just don’t rush into anything. That’s all. And don’t do anything that makes you feel like you’re getting ahead of yourself. You have all the time in the world so don’t go running into the fray when you can just ease yourself into it. It doesn’t have to be a frantic, jumbled, rush. Take your time.

I do think it’s a good idea that you try masturbating! It will help you get to know your body instead of relying on your boyfriend to figure it out for you. Trust me when I say that will NOT go as planned. The more you know about what you like, the more you can help him, the better EVERYTHING will be.

Of course you’re allowed to let him go down on you if you want it! It’s YOUR body! YOUR relationship! People can weigh in with their opinions, but it’s always up to you in the end. If you want it, go for it! Don’t let anyone make you feel like you’re wrong for wanting sex. There are no rules when it comes to being ready, it’s differerent for everyone. Some people are ready earlier in life, others feel better waiting.

There’s always one person that likes to take the plunge into a cold pool, all at once, and then there’s the other person that likes to slowly climb down the ladder into the water, inch by inch. Neither of them are wrong. It’s just a personal preference and what they feel comfortable in doing.

What’s the best position to eat a girl out

Ones where the girl feels the most comfortable. The more comfortable, confident, relaxed she is, the better it will feel. So all those crazy standing positions, or like hanging onto a rope while being eaten out in midair, are just overrated. They can be fun, but they’re not the most conducive for the BEST of the BEST.

Try having her on her back with pillows under her ass and her legs draped over your shoulders.The higher she is, the more you can reach and the angle is better. But if her back is arching too much, that can be uncomfortable. So watch out for that.

Also try it sideways. Both of you on your sides, your head between her legs, and go to town. There’s a lot of access that way, it’s really comfortable, and it’s different than the norm so it feels great. You can have fun doing a 69 that way too, instead of being on top of each other, try just being side by side.

Here’s a dilemma I have: I find lesbian girls extremely attractive, especially some of the “butch” (sorry for using it, lack of a better word) girls. I’ve imagine myself having sex, making love, fooling around, etc with my friends who are STRICTLY lesbians. The issue is I’m a male. What happens if you fall for a lesbian from birth? What do you do then as a guy? I always wonder is it possible to have a healthy, loving and safe relationship involving 3 people who are willingly open?

You certainly do have a dilemma. Lesbians are called lesbians for a reason: they don’t want to be with a man. At all. They want women. If they were going to be in a poly-amorous relationship, it would be with two other women! (And bigamy is a very messed up road to go down… I wouldn’t attempt it.)

What is it about your lesbian friends that attracts you to them? Their personalities? Their masculine energy? Their independence? Their lifestyle? There are plenty of “butch” women out there that are straight or bisexual – therefore interested in being with a man. You don’t have to be gay to have that kind of personality/energy.

Maybe you’re attracted to the unattainable. Being the only man to ever make a lesbian enjoy a heterosexual relationship. You want to be the GOD that changed their lives the way no one else could. It’s a heady sexual power trip. Makes for some good fantasies.

Or maybe you’re attracted to them because they’re safe. Lesbians would reject you for just being a man. You don’t have to be afraid of them turning you down for any other personal reason. There’s no risk, no chance, no opportunity, so maybe you find comfort in that, in the fact that you can’t ever be with them so there’s no chance of being hurt. That’s something easy to fantasize about.

I’m just theorizing. I don’t know why you’re drawn to lesbians, but you have to figure it out for yourself and change something because it is never going to work out for you this way.

Lesbians = women who want women. Which isn’t to say that you can’t have many lesbian friends, but they don’t want to be with you romantically, sexually, or have anything more than a platonic relationship.

You don’t stand a chance so give up whatever delusion you might have about being with a lesbian and start focusing on what it is about the QUALITIES your lesbian friends possess that make you attracted to them. I don’t think you want to sleep with them because they like to sleep with women. There’s something else there. Figure out what.

okay lately ive been having a huge issue. at first I thought it was crabs but I have no pubic hair so it couldn’t be. my labias itch extremely badly, to the point where I have to sit down and itch for quite a few minutes. only the lips itch, nothing internal. they also seem more dry then normal. its become super uncomfortable and I hate it. im 16 and am sexually active with my boyfriend… he has been with other people but I know he doesn’t have an std. thoughts?

Okay, well there’s an easy answer and then a more complicated one.

Easy: Itchiness is common when pubic hair is growing back. You said you have none, so that means you shave or wax. Your hair starts growing back very quickly and it usually gets itchy.

Or it could just be dry skin! Like you would have anywhere else.

Complicated: You’re right, it could be an STI, a bacterial infection, or a yeast infection. So make an appointment with your doctor. Read here about another possible cause. Unless you have the results of your boyfriend’s STI screening in your hand that proves he doesn’t have anything, then I’m sorry, but you still have to consider him a risk.

Either way, if it concerns you enough to ask me, then it means you need to talk to your doctor and figure out for sure what’s going on down there. Whatever it is, you need to know for sure in case you require treatment. I’m not a medical professional so I can’t help you here.