Tag: sex advice

I’ve been having these dreams of my best friend (a girl) and I lately and we start to make out and we almost have sex but then I wake up. I’m straight and so is she. Does this mean anything?

Well, let me start off by saying that I am not a psychologist nor am I an expert on dream analysis. Everyone has different theories about what dreams are really about. None are proven. So they remain theories. You’re asking for mine. So here it is:

Sex dreams are very rarely about SEX. It’s true! Yes, we all have those wet dreams that leave us horny and raring to go in the morning, but not all dreams with sex in them are like that.

So why do you dream about having sex (or almost sex) with your best friend when you identify as straight and you’re not attracted to her when you’re conscious? It’s actually pretty common to have a sexual dream about the same-sex even when you’re not gay or bi.

For women, it can be interpreted as your subconscious expressing a deep, emotional connection to the other person – on a friendship level. It’s the way your mind is able to convey the depth of your feelings for your friend, even if it’s only platonic in reality. Sex is largely about intimacy, right? That’s how our brains then interpret it – doesn’t mean it has to be about actual sex at all, just the deeper meaning of it. It’s representative of emotional closeness.

Also, depending on how the dream actually plays out (the details), it could be a commentary about some rift between you two, insecurities about the friendship, or some quality or talent they have that you emulate or desire. Perhaps the reason why you wake up before the actual act of sex occurs points out something going on with you guys – something that’s making you two be distant or lose touch or have a divide between you. Ring any bells?

Relax. If you’re not attracted to her in RL and this is all happening in your dreams, it doesn’t mean you want to sleep with your best friend. Don’t take it so literally. Think about what sex makes you feel. Not the act, but what it could mean on an emotional level. Something about her is on your mind and your brain is trying to work that out for you because you don’t seem to be willing to do it when you’re awake.

Something to think about. 😉

I’ve recently made out this girl, she told me she didn’t want to have anything serious with anyone, and 5 days later she went back to her ex-girlfriend and I just can’t get over her, I see her everyday in school and everything and I really wanna go after her, but I think she wouldn’t ever be with me. Should I go after her, even though she has a gf and everything?

She chose her ex. That’s it. Don’t pursue someone that would choose someone else over you. You deserve better. It’s hard to see past her right now, but give it time. Someone else will catch your eye and they will be 10x better than you ever hoped for.

Chasing/longing for someone who is in a relationship with someone else and WANTS to be with that other person? Never good. You’re the one who will get your heart broken. Don’t do that to yourself. She’s just not the right one.

just wanted to get your thoughts on this. my aunt and i were having a conversation and i mentioned that i’d like to stay a virgin until i’m married because i don’t want a relationship based on sex, having a child and baby daddy problems and i don’t want to catch a STI. she understood my reasoning, but she said i should have sex so i won’t marry a guy who likes sex so much that he cheats on me. i understand what she’s saying but i’m also like the relationship must have been weak in the 1st place.

While I don’t agree with your aunt’s reasoning (that just sounds absurd to me), I am with her on the fact that waiting isn’t necessary and it’s not something I would recommend.

If that’s what you want, then of course that’s your right! But personally I think you need to test drive the car before you buy it…

Having sex doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is based on sex. Build a relationship and have sex be a part of it. You can be safe; there’s plenty of different birth control options and STI prevention that are extremely effective when used correctly.

Don’t have sex because you think it’s going to keep him from cheating or something later on – I mean, I don’t even understand that theory – but you should have sex so you can see what your sexual chemistry is.

You could have every single aspect of your relationship lined up perfectly: they’re your best friend, you spend every day with them, you can’t get enough, the sexual tension is crazy, you can’t wait, and then you get in bed… *bomb whistle*

It’s happened many…many…many times. Everything could be absolutely perfect and then the chemistry just isn’t there! If you want to commit to someone for the rest of your life, I think you should know what you’re getting into. What if they have performance problems? What if it’s terrible!? What if you committed to this person that you love, but your sex life is horribly boring and you realize you would have known it wasn’t the right fit if you’d been with them BEFORE making that commitment!

Marriage, relationships, being in love…it’s not based on sex, but sex is an INTEGRAL part of it. Without it, you’re just hanging out with your platonic best friend.

Those are my thoughts. But it’s just an opinion. If you disagree, then do what you feel is right for YOU. Everyone’s different. 🙂 Good luck!

what if a guy massages his own prostate as he jacks off? is that gay?

NO!

It’s called PLEASURE. Jeez! Men and women have different erotic hot spots. The prostate is a major hot spot for men, there’s a concentration of nerve endings there. Too many men are insecure about their sexuality which leads to questions like yours: is it a “gay thing” to massage my prostate?

Stimulating the prostate actually intensifies a man’s orgasm and can delay ejaculation which makes it a good thing for BOTH parties involved! Men have their “g-spot” there, just as women have their own “g-spot”. It’s absurd to deny yourself pleasure just because you think it’s this weird, stigma thing that will turn you gay if you try it.

No! You have an erotic hot spot, use it! More women would absolutely utilize it during sex if guys weren’t so uptight about it. They really would not have a problem with slipping a finger up there while giving you a BJ. It’s the “taboo” weirdness that straight guys place on it that ends up making you ignore a really fantastic source of pleasure. This is not about your sexuality! It’s about orgasms and making them better! It’s WHO you want to fuck, not HOW you fuck.

Anal play does not make you gay. Having sex with men makes you gay.

It’s really that simple.

there’s nothing wrong with a straight guy watching gay “guy” porn, right?

SEX IS SEX.

There is no right or wrong here. Don’t be ridiculous. Gay porn is often rough and hard, which can be such a turn on, even if you’re not into anal or two men.. You can jack off to two guys fucking without wanting to actually fuck a guy yourself.

BUT if you wanted to fuck a guy too…that’s OKAY.

I get questions every day from straight girls who ask me if they’re gay if they’re turned on by lesbian porn.

The answer is NO. You do not have to be gay or bisexual to enjoy same sex porn. Sex is hot. Good sex is even hotter. That’s all it is. Doesn’t matter what the gender is.

Hi, I’m in an awesome relationship with the most wonerful boy on earth. We have sex maybe once in a week, it’s pretty good, we both cum everytime but it’s pretty boring actually. I’ve told him many times that I want him to pull my hair, bite my neck etc and fuck me really hard, but he’s so careful, says he doesn’t want to hurt me and so on… What should I do? We have been together for 7 months and we always do the same stuff. And he doesn’t want me to give him oral sex witch is disturbing.

What is his reasoning for not wanting you to go down on him? Maybe if you figure out what he’s REALLY worried about then you guys can fix the problem.

I’d also try to push the envelope a little bit with him in bed. Just test the waters to see how he reacts when you get a little rough. If you want to go hard, get on top and fuck him senseless. Show him that it doesn’t hurt you and how good it can be. Don’t go too far though and make him uncomfortable, just try something a little outside the norm and see if he’s okay with it.

So talk and try to take the lead a bit.

My boyfriend wants to eat me out and I’m totally on board with it. I guess I wanted to check with you (my tumblr sexpert lol) and get pubic hair advice? I’ve shaved down there before and it ends up itchy and once it starts growing back I can’t shave it again until it’s longer because it pulls on the hairs and hurts. So, would it be more enjoyable for him if I was shaved down there or can I simply trim? I understand it’s my body and my choice, I just want to maximize the experience for both of us

Every guy is different. Some like it completely shaved, others appreciate a bush, it’s a very personal preference. Why don’t you try asking him what he’d like? It’s your decision, obviously, but if it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other then why not get his thoughts on it?

If you want to avoid the prickly regrowth issue, shave the same day you plan to have him go down on you. Hair really isn’t that big of a deal as long as you keep it neat and maintained! How much you want to shave is up to you and your partner’s preference.

It is nice to ask them what they like because they’re the ones down there doing the work, but it still doesn’t mean they can dictate what you do. It’s just an opinion to take into consideration. 😉

Check the tags to see my tips on shaving pubic hair!

Is it possible (as a girl) to get cut if you shave with an electric razor? Also can you recommend a good razor?

There’s always a chance of getting nicked if you use a razor. If you use an electric one, make sure it’s one specifically desigened for removing pubic hair.

I don’t shave, I wax. But for a regular razor I always use Venus Embrace (the green one).

So, I am a virgin. And I was talking to my mom and her friends about oral sex and I mentioned that you should always use protection if you are unsure 100% if they are clean… And well they all laughed at me and told me no one does that. So, my question is if I suggest oral protection while in the moment, will I be laughed out of bed? Should I go with what I am comfortable or give that up cause apparently NO ONE uses condoms or dental dams in ‘real life’? Am I being too concerned about this?

It’s true that most people don’t practice safe sex when it comes to oral. They take a risk. That’s their right. It’s also true that most people don’t understand how much of a risk they’re taking.

You’re being smart about it. And while many DON’T use protection, there are also some that do. So you’re not alone, just in the minority (unfortunately). It’s reasons like this that we still have such a constant problem with the spread of STD’s. People aren’t protecting themselves enough. If you want to use a condom during a BJ (get a flavored one) then good for you! If you want someone to use a dental dam when going down on you, that’s great too. But you will meet resistance and people will try to talk you out of it because it’s “not as fun” and “doesn’t feel as good”. Ultimately, people don’t want to be bothered with it.

As always, protection is your right and your choice, but be prepared to face people ready to talk you out of it. Especially when it comes to oral sex because too many people are under the impression that if you can’t get pregnant from it, there’s no risk.

That’s ignorant as hell.