Being addicted to porn is actually something very serious, like any addiction would be. So, if this is still continuing, I think you might need to encourage him to get help (therapy) for it.
The fact that he hides it, makes it 10x more serious. That means that he knows what he’s doing is wrong, he feels ashamed, pathetic, he probably feels guilty as well, and all those reasons go into him hiding it from you. It’s a classic sign of addiction.
I just want to make it very clear that YOU are not the problem. It’s not something you did or something that you’re not doing that makes him revert to this. It’s actually a psychological compulsion that needs to be treated. If he physically cannot stop using porn and sexting with strangers online, then he really has a problem and he needs to get help for it.
Porn addicts become extremely dependent on porn to meet their sexual needs and then they start to become desensitized so the type of porn that arouses them has to be more and more extreme all the time. He started this habit BEFORE he met you, so he was obviously heavily invested in his porn habits and even introducing you into his sex life still couldn’t change the psychological compulsion he’s developed to rely on pornography to satisfy him. This all started before you and it’s not because of you. He’s essentially trained himself to sexually excited/aroused by porn and only porn. It’s ingrained in his every day thoughts! This type of addiction can get out of control so be wary of that.
I can’t tell you what you want to do in regards to your relationship, but if you feel like you’re not getting what you need out of it, (not just sexually, but the emotional support as well, or if you’re feeling neglected) then you might want to tell him what the problem is and end it. However, if you think it’s worth trying to salvage your relationship, you can ask him to get help for himself or stop on his own. If he doesn’t do that or refuses, then you can rethink your choice. If he does agree, then maybe it’s worth staying with him to work through it. It’s all up to you. Do not feel guilty for either choice that you make. You have to do what’s right for you. The best thing you can do for him is tell him exactly why you’re unhappy and exactly what concerns you. It’s only fair to give him a chance to change it (if you feel it’s worth another chance). If he chooses not to take it, then why are you with him?
Either way, never stay in a relationship where you feel cheated, neglected, insecure, and lied to. It’s not fair and you deserve much more than that. You have the power to change things for yourself and what happens in your relationship. So accept that power and do something about it. It’s your life.
The Society for the Advancement of Sexual Health (SASH) www.sash.net
Sex Addicts Anonymous (SAA) www.saa-recovery.org
Sexaholics Anonymous (SA) www.sa.org
Sexual Compulsives Anonymous (SCA) www.sca-recovery.org
Sexual Recovery Anonymous (SRA) www.sexualrecovery.org
S-Anon International Family Groups www.sanon.org
Codependents of Sexual Adictions www.cosa-recovery.org
Sumptuous Daydreams 