Is he going slow or rushing? You need to have a lot of foreplay, a lot of fooling around and kissing and touching before trying it. And even then, you have to go slow, ease in, let your body adjust to it. The more often you do it, the easier it gets, but you have to let your body adjust – he can’t just ram into you before you’re ready especially when your body is very new to this.
Are you sure you’re wet enough? Try using a water based lube and see if that makes a difference. Also, if you’re worried or nervous about the penetration – that works against you. It’ll make you tighter and dry. Try to relax, lie down comfortably, kiss and touch and have him rub circles around your clit for a little until you’re soaking wet and then he can slowly push a finger in and test it out. He shouldn’t be jamming them in and immediately trying to fuck you.
There was a post on tumblr I saw recently that said girls enjoy fingering when “you know the difference between summoning a genie and stuffing a chicken”. So accurate.
Your body needs to relax in order to open up more to the intrusion. Have you tried oral sex? Having him go down on you? That’s one of the best things to make penetration more pleasurable for you – if he can get you to orgasm BEFORE penetration, the contractions from your orgasm will naturally open your channel and you’ll be well aroused and ready for him. Even if you don’t orgasm through oral, the oral still helps a lot because that pleasure will help your body relax, open, lubricate itself with your arousal, and make you ready for penetration. Send him down there and let it happen! Oral is gold.
If none of this works then I would say it’s time to see a doctor because it’s possible there may be some health issue going on or an obstruction that’s causing you pain. (If you can use a tampon without pain, then there’s no obstruction.)
The point is, sex should not hurt. So keep asking why and don’t ever just accept things the way they are. You will figure it out and you will experience pleasure, just keep looking for different answers/ways because sexdoes not and should not hurt (unless you want it to, but that’s a whole ‘nother thing).
Uh, you shouldn’t be gagging really. Ask her to shave/wax. Tell her you think it’d be hot. I personally think it’s an acceptable thing to ask of a partner who’s down there doing all the work! 😉 No more hair problems!
The taste… All women are different. Some people are more sensitive to it than others. And, yeah, it can be an acquired taste. You’ll get used to it. Stop thinking about it so much and instead just focus on how much she’s enjoying it. The less you think about what you’re tasting and more about how your girl is writhing around and moaning beneath you, the hotter it’ll be.
If it’s really that strong all the time (taste changes based on where a woman is at in her menstrual cycle) then it might be a diet/health issue. It shouldn’t be overwhelmingly strong, but it’s not like you’re eating ice cream either. lol. You’re gonna love it after you get used to it.
That’s her prerogative! Not everyone likes oral sex. If you think she’s making it up because it hasn’t worked for her, then ask her about it. But she really just might not be into it.
Everyone’s got their own thing. Maybe she gets off on anal more than oral! Lol. Who knows? It’s not a bad thing that she just doesn’t like it, nothing to do with you.
The point is to find out all the other things she likes. There’s plenty! Trust me.
Don’t be a bitch. If you’re gunna do it, do it well.
Tease the fuck out of her before going in. Put that tongue away. Kiss every inch of her, except her pussy. Inner thighs, neck, lips, nipples. Start at her mouth, work your way down. Did you get her neck already? Good, now do it again. Build the anticipation. She’ll love it even more.
When she can’t handle the anticipation any more, go in for the kill. Eat that pussy like you’re on death row and it’s your last meal.
Most girls respond really well to clit stimulation, but don’t over work it. Some girls like it when you stick your tongue in, some don’t, so be cautious when exploring that option.
The best way I’ve learned to do it is to start off slow. Long licks. Cover all of it. Slowly work your speed up. Go a little faster. Every been told to write the alphabet with your tongue? Fuck that. It’s stupid.
Have her lay on her back, put her legs over your shoulder. That’s the one of the best positions for her to get max pleasure. It also allows you to use your hands. While your mouth is going to down reach up with your hands, grab her breasts, (some girls like their nipples squeezed when getting eaten out. Try exploring that option if she’s down). You also have the options of using one of your hands to finger her or rub her clit while you lick. If you get into a good motion of licking while you rub her clit with your tongue, I can almost guarantee that she will go crazy.
Think you’re done after she cums? WRONG. You’re not done until she grabs you by the hair and pulls you up because she can’t take it any more.
Now go my student, go and eat that pussy like it’s your sole purpose in life to make that girl scream your name, Gods name, and every swear word she’s ever heard in her life.
Quid pro quo. He doesn’t want to worry about your pleasure? Then why the FUCK are you concerned about his? Turn the tables on him. Use the same attitude he has when he “deigns” to go down on you. Refuse completely even. Whatever it is that he does when you ask (and you should not have to ask all the time like that!!!!). He’ll get pissed or be offended or indignant. You say “why should I care about what you want? You clearly don’t care about what I need.” That’s when you point out how it feels for you when he acts that way about returning the favor. I say this because sometimes it takes a drastic sort of way to get a partner’s attention like that rather than to have them hear you wanting to talk about it and then they tune out before you even get anywhere.
Be sure to remind him that he is not giving you some sort of “special treatment” and is in fact just being a decent person by going down on you. When was the last time you’ve had an orgasm? And I mean a real, full on orgasm – don’t shortchange yourself. Explain to him that he’s the one getting off every time and you’re getting next to nothing. If he tries to pull out the AGE OLD SEXIST WHINY FUCKBOY card of “well girls cant cum as easily as guys – its too hard for them and it’s a lot of work to make you cum ALL the time” – please do yourself a favor and tell him to find someone else to suck him off every night because: YOU. ARE. DONE.
Plainly, it’s not fair and you deserve more. Explain in clear terms that you are not being sexually satisfied. More so, I want you to understand that you DESERVE to be sexually satisfied and that he is 100% wrong in his attitude. Remember that because he might try to convince you of something else and you need to always remember that your needs are JUST AS IMPORTANT as his and just because he can cum in 20 seconds, doesn’t mean the 20 minutes you need are any less important or any less deserving simply because it’s a little longer than what he needs. A relationship is about finding a compromise that works for BOTH parties. Right now, you have no such compromise – it’s all about him.
If he’s being a selfish ass when it comes to sex then why keep putting yourself out there for him when he won’t take care of you? Oral is a necessity in any relationship, PARTICULARLY FOR WOMEN because it’s a huge factor in our ability to orgasm, so for him to act like you should be grateful that every once in a while he takes the time of day to go down on you…that’s really him saying ‘oh you’re welcome that I cared enough about you getting off today’. Oral is not a special favor, it’s a staple. And for him to have a double standard for it, honestly, if he’s the kind of guy who can’t understand the simplistic concept of quid pro quo or that it’s his responsibility as your sexual partner to take care of your needs then what is this dude’s appeal anyway?
I probably should give you some more impartial and level-headed advice, but that would just be concealing how I really feel. Should you discuss this with him? Yes. Should you tell him how much it bothers you that he doesn’t act like he cares about your needs? Yes. Should you tell him that it needs to change or your relationship has a serious issue? Yes. Will he change anything? I don’t know.
He sounds like he might just pull a dozen reasons out of his hat to defend himself and why it’s just better for him to get head whenever he wants and for you to just take whatever he feels like giving. Trust me, it sounds absurd that anyone could come up with reasons like that, but they can and they will because there are some people who are just selfish and lazy and once the honeymoon period of dating is over, they take their partners for granted and their true colors come out. Any guy who feels like he deserves head whenever he wants, but for women it’s just a special treat they’ll give out every once in a while…don’t put up with it for a second. Shut him down. You make him realize what a jackass he’s being.
If he doesn’t think your needs are as important as his then honestly I’d be reconsidering the whole “my guy” status and he’d be more like “ex-guy”.
Sumptuous Daydreams 