Tag: on top

Anonymous: Hey, this is kind of awkward but I’ve seen that you give good advice so I hope that you can help me. The thing is that I would like to be on top but every time I do it just doesn’t feel good. It just doesn’t give me any pleasure but I would really like it to. So I guess that I just do something wrong… Any advice on how to do it better?

Pleasure from being on top, for women, begins with confidence above all. Riding a guy requires a level of self assurance and comfortableness with your sexual nature. You feel exposed up there and if you don’t let go of your inhibitions and allow the selfish desires of taking your pleasure exactly as you want, then it won’t work. Does that make sense?

It also takes practice. You learn something more about what you like and how moving this way with that angle feels better than going that way with the other angle, and so on. So you need to ride and ride and ride and ride him some more until you get it just right!

I’ve said this so many times, but I’ll say it yet again, being on top means YOU are in charge and it’s about YOUR pleasure. If you are feeling good, then he’s going to feel good! He’ll love seeing your reactions and watch as you ride his cock.

Get out of your head and be more in tune with your body. Focus on what feels good. Forget what you think you’re “supposed to do” when you’re on top, if it’s not working, then try something else, don’t linger. It’s all about you and finding out what you like when you’re up there. Not some misdirected idea of what he thinks is sexy or what you’ve seen in porn.

The most basic position for riding goes like this: Get on top of him, knees on either side, lean forward with your hands on his chest for leverage (it gives you more control over how deep you want to thrust as well), reach behind you to grab his cock and ease yourself down on him by sitting back a little bit, then rock back and forth on your knees in whatever way comes naturally to you. You can sit upright or hunch over him or lean all the way back on your hands and thrust away. You can face him or reverse it so he’s seeing your back. It takes practice to find a rhythm and prevent him from slipping all the way out of you. Completely normal. If you get tired, you can have him flip you over and keep going until you get your wind back and want to go again! It’s FUN!

Grinding when you’re on top is more likely to be pleasing for you. Try the ‘bump and grind’ which is basically thrusting your pelvis back and forth around in a circle (think 80’s rockstar?). This works for a lot of woman more than just up and down.

Grind back and forth / bounce up and down – that’s basically what it comes down to. This is YOUR time and YOU are in charge. He’s just there to watch at this point. Find your pleasure. Find what feels good. Don’t feel embarrassed about having to explore more to figure out what it is you like. Take your time. Move different ways. Encourage him to play with your breasts or rub your clit.

The best thing you can do is to be honest with your partner. Tell him you want to practice riding him! Seriously! Do it all night long! However long it takes to find out what you like. Once you figure it out, then he can come into the picture. Grinding is most likely going to be the best for you, but guys don’t get as much from it as we do because there’s not enough friction from grinding for them, so you’ll find a compromise. For now, just focus on you and what works for you then you can worry about him! 😉 Trust me, he’ll be MORE than okay with that!

Under the read more are some images of what different positions you can try on top to figure out what you like the best! Sometimes the visual helps more than an explanation. Once you see it, your imagination takes you to where you need to go. 😉

^ A pillow to change his position makes a difference!

^ You’re essentially straddling one leg and using it for leverage.

^ His legs are crossed Indian style and you’re sitting on his lap.