Tag: Miscellaneous

I’m 17 and been with my first proper boyfriend for 5 months now. i’m not very experienced but i would like to rub him down there. I’m not ready for sex and i’m not ready for a proper hand job. do you have any advice on how I could do it through his underwear, how long and how to keep it hot while making out? thanks

Well, that’s a bit problematic because how far do you plan on taking it? I completely understand not being ready for anything more and you should wait as long as you need, but if you tease him too much, you’re going to give your boyfriend a serious case of blue balls and that’s just mean. So until you’re ready to actually get him off, I would keep that kind of touching/teasing to a minimum.

You can massage him through his pants, cup him there, put your knee in between his legs while making out so it rubs against his crotch, straddle him so you can dry hump, etc.

But do this sparingly and not for more than a few seconds because he’s going to have a massive hard on if you do too much and then with no release, that sucks for him. If he does come, then it’s gonna be in his pants and that’s a sticky, gross mess for him and it doesn’t sound like you’re ready for him to be doing that either. So the best thing you can do to make it easier on your boyfriend (and your relationship) until you’re ready for more, is to avoid getting him too excited.

Keep kissing. Keep taking little steps that you feel comfortable with. But keep in mind that he’s a teenage boy with very little control over his body’s reactions so to be the best girlfriend you can be is to understand that and hold off on touching below the waist until you’re ready for more there. Don’t feel pressured to do anything for him. You’ll be ready when you’re ready and if he’s the kind of guy you want to be with, he’ll respect that.

hi, me and my boyfriend are sometimes kind of rough during sex, he strangles me, pulls my hair and stuff, but the other day he was holding really tight on my neck whilst i was on top, and it was just too much to handle, so i forced his arm off aggressively and i felt really angry, and i couldn’t fully relax after that as i wanted to let my anger out. was wondering if you think that’s normal, like i was just doing it in defense or something? and is there anything less rough we could try?

You need to set clear boundaries with him. If that’s what you’re into, then by all means, continue! However, you need a safe word. I can’t stress that enough. You need SOMETHING to indicate during sex that what he’s doing is NOT okay with you, that it’s crossing the line. Something that will tell him loud and clear so that he can immediately back off, check in with you, then move on to something else.

Outline the things that are okay and the things that are off limits (ie: hair pulling – okay, pinned down by the back of your neck – not okay). Make a list and write all of it down so there’s no miscommunication. It’s something you should sit down and do together.

I don’t know why you were angry. I’m really not the person to ask. Maybe it was an instinctive response that increased your adrenaline for self defense.

Or maybe you were upset that he went too far. He scared you and someone that you trust like that shouldn’t scare you. It can be seen as a letdown or a betrayal even. That’s something to be angry about. He didn’t protect you like a partner should and that would make anyone angry.

There are a LOT of less rough things to try. Spanking? Restraints? Biting? Tit slapping? A whole world of stuff out there. Are you really okay with the sex being rough at all? If that’s not something you’re into, it’s OKAY to tell him that you don’t want that. Never do anything you feel uncomfortable or unsafe doing. If he continues to be too aggressive during sex after you’ve talked to him about it, that’s when you really need to stop and consider what you’re doing with this guy and that it’s time to end it. No one, male or female, has the right to push you to do anything you don’t want to.

Okay so first off I’m 16 and i’m bi.. and me and my girlfriend wanted to try out having sex while wearing a short skirt or a dress in public are there any positions or techniques we should use or any tips?.. Ps we will both be in school before this so we can’t bring our toys without getting caught…

Try a park. It’s outside, lots of possibilities for coverage, and public. Two kinks at once!

This is a response to your advice from that one girl who’s falling for another girl bound for arranged marriage. I just want to thank you for giving me the most helpful yet realistic advice:) you are indeed right, and taking matters slow is the best way to go if I ever pursue her. Before I asked you that question, I have dropped some hints (but not blatantly expressing my feelings) and her response were both + and -. Now, it’s a matter of deciding if her gesture towards me were special or not.

You’re welcome! I think the best thing you can do is make the choice that you won’t regret. Would you regret never knowing the truth – never knowing that she might feel the same? Or would you regret pursuing her and (possibly) be turned down? Which one is worse?

There’s three ways it can turn out: 1) You get hurt and you lose a friend. 2) You find out that your feelings are returned and she likes you too. 3) You get hurt but she wants to still be your friend.

What decision will be the best one you can live with?

I wish you all the best! 🙂

Hello, I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost a year now and I want to give him a lap dance. I suggested the idea to him and he thinks it sounds great, I’m scared I’m going to end up laughing though or I’m not going to be very good at it. Any tips?

Try to relax and have fun with it. It’s a very “movie” thing that says you’re not allowed to laugh. You’re allowed! Laughing is sexy too. You can find a balance. A giggle breaking out is not going to ruin the lapdance. The more comfortable and confident you are, the hotter it is. Set up some music (nothing cheesy!), put on something you feel good in, and show him what you got. If you laugh, that’s okay, it’ll actually release some tension for you. Once you get into it, the nerves will fade, and laughing won’t be on your mind anymore.

The more comfortable you are, the better you’ll look, and the better the dance will be. Watch some videos to get pointers if you’re feeling a little lost for inspiration on the technicalities… 😉 Sexy, intimate, tease and tease, then tease some more with a whole lotta grinding.

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imagethetvgivethandthetvtakethaway replied to your post: about 3 or 4 weeks ago my boyfriend at the time…

do you ever just wanna say “fuck this shit, im out”, damn people are clueless, it freaks me out. Dont people learn anything in bio class, at least.

Actually, no, it doesn’t. I don’t mind (though it does worry me sometimes…). Some people are really young and inexperienced. Besides, did any of us ACTUALLY pay attention in sex ed or biology in high school? I don’t remember anything beyond some weird old cartoons that everyone laughed at… We usually learn all this elsewhere, ie. our parents. (I did pay attention to bio in college though!) Some people don’t have those same opportunities for information so they go online. If being reassured is what they need or if they’re looking for some advice, I’m all too happy to help to the best of my knowledge. *shrug*

That said…

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1) Sperm is not an almighty god that can make its way through two solid layers of clothing, bypassing your tampon/pad, swim up your vaginal channel, your cervix, into your uterus, through the fallopian tubes, and impregnate a new egg while your uterine lining is in the process of shedding an old one. Guys might like to think of their ‘little soldiers’ as the mega dudes of their manhood who make miracles happen, but it’s just not gonna happen like that.

2) You will not get pregnant from a handjob unless the “handjob” actually means a penis ejaculates into your vagina. Or if semen is ejaculated onto your exposed vagina. Or you use a turkey baster to collect the semen ejaculated after the handjob and then insert it into your vagina… Okay, I think you get where I’m going with this.

3) It is HIGHLY UNLIKELY that you could even get pregnant while you have your period to begin with. Even if you did have unprotected vaginal intercourse, there is an very, very small chance that you would get pregnant. I wouldn’t take any chances though. Always be safe. Shit happens.

Any questions? Thoughts? Ask box is open!

about 3 or 4 weeks ago my boyfriend at the time and i were fooling around and he ejaculated on my hand. i made sure to wash my hand thoroughly but there is a possibility that some precum got on my stomach. i was wearing jeans and underwear because at the time i was on my period. i was just wondering what you thought my chances of pregnancy were (as i’m a worrier and have gone as far as to look up abortion clinics) =/

You’re not pregnant.

I’m a girl (I’ve never had a girlfriend) and I like this girl who happens to be very inexperienced with relationships because she doesn’t address the existence of romantic love, and is bound to be arranged-married and whole-heartedly accepts it (for cultural purposes). Now here’s the case, we are really good friends. i’ve only known her for less than a year. Should I take a shot at it? or should I just let it go?

An arranged marriage? Wow. I have to say that is woefully out of my range of experience…

But it all comes down to this: how strongly do you feel about her? If you didn’t take the risk, would you regret it? That’s what it always comes down to, no matter what the details are.

Do you feel like she might be open to you if you tried? Because I’ll be honest, it is a real risk. You might lose your friendship with her, but then again…you might not.

How much do you want it? How much do you want her? That’s what you need to ask yourself. If she’s set on an arranged marriage and doesn’t give you any sign of being interested in you, I’m sorry to say you might be setting yourself up for failure. But if it’s worth it, if it’s worth taking the chance, then take it.

If you do decide to try, my advice would be to take it slow. Don’t rush into declaring your feelings all at once. Drop some hints, give her some signs, test the waters, and see what happens, how she responds. You can go from there. 🙂

Hey this is awkward but you seem to give good advice and stuff so oh well. My gf has been crazy lately (i know she’s allowed to be)and she realized how she was treating me and apologized a lot and felt really bad but i didn’t care because she is honestly the most amazing and georgous girl but she doesn’t understand how i can not be mad and insists she deserves deserves punishment so i was thinking of just doing something fun (sexual) as “punishment” but i don’t know where to start, Any ideas? :)

Haha, well I’m really not the person to ask about anything regarding s&m.

Although, I will say that you shouldn’t call your girlfriend crazy. If she’s been acting out of the ordinary or erratic, I guarantee there’s a legitimate reason for it, even if she won’t tell you what it is. Don’t call a woman crazy, especially if she’s your gf/wife.

I’m pretty sure the reason why she wants this “punishment” is because she treated you like shit and you just accepted it when you should have stood up for yourself. (It also probably makes her feel worse about treating you poorly.)

Women want a man who will not only stand by them, but also stand toe-to-toe with them. Do you know what I mean? She wants you to stand up to her if she’s being a bitch. I’m not saying you can’t be understanding and let things roll off your back if she’s going through a hard time, but don’t let her just walk all over you. It’s not good for you and, frankly, it’s a turn-off for her.

As for “punishment”, again, I’m really not the person to ask, but I think an easy little experiment into that for the first time could be tying her hands together, leaving her at your mercy. Of course, you have to make sure she’s okay with it first, then you can have some fun.

If you’re a talker, then get into the role a bit. Bind her hands (comfortably, with a scarf or something soft) and tell her that she’s being tied up because it’s your turn to do what you want since she’s been...(insert whatever she’s been doing here). Be a little more forceful than usual, assert your role as the dom in this, touch her, tease her, have her suck you off, play with her body, get her worked up, but not enough to cum. (For me, that’s torture! lol.) She’ll be insensate by the time you actually fuck her.

Can’t stress this too much: make sure she’s on board and trusts you in all these areas BEFORE you try anything. Okay?

That would just be something I’d have fun with, but it’s not for everyone. Anyone else here have suggestions?