Tag: Miscellaneous

I’ve hooked up a guy I like about five times,we’ve been talking for about a month. I enjoy our time together when we are intimate but sometimes I find I get a little bored. He doesn’t seem to have the same reaction just by how he acts during. It feels too repetitive even though we haven’t been hooking up for that long. Any tips? I’ve given him head multiple times but he won’t go down on me. I asked and he said he doesn’t do that. Any tips to get to him to be more open to it? Thanks!

If you’re bored, end it. I could give you a ton of sex tips, but honestly, you shouldn’t have to try that hard in the beginning (ESPECIALLY in the beginning!).

If it’s not there for you, it’s just not there. There’s nothing wrong with that. And if you give him head, but he won’t reciprocate…what the fuck are you even bothering with him for? He doesn’t do that? Tell him to go fuck himself then because you’re not going to anymore. A guy who’s not willing to reciprocate, needs to get the fuck over himself, and he’s certainly not worth your time. He’s already a shitty lay!

Cut your losses now and go find someone else. There are plenty of other guys out there that are going to have more sexual chemistry with you AND they will be more than delighted to go down on you. 🙂

Is foreplay a must for good sex? Just wondering because my boyfriend always likes the foreplay part more than I do.

If you’re not enjoying foreplay, you’re doing it wrong.

Is it weird that I don’t like really rough or dirty sex? I’ve had sex a couple of times before and when someone gets too dirty it turns me off because I’m a bit scared of someone not stopping after all. Some of my past relationships have ended because of it.

It’s not weird at all. Everyone is into different things. Some people like really dirty, rough sex and some people don’t. Sex is about pleasing you —so if you’re not into that, let your partner know. The number one thing here is communication, if someone is taking things in a direction that you don’t want to go then you should talk to them about it.

And as far as ending the relationship, if someone really cares about you, they’ll be willing to work with you on what turns you on and off. And if they’re not, well, move on because they’re not worth your time anyway. A relationship shouldn’t be one sided.

-teagan.

P.S.

It sounds like one of your biggest roadblocks is trust; trusting your partner. You said you were worried they might cross a line, not that anyone has ever crossed it. That’s where trust comes in. Discuss your concerns with your partner, draw a clear line about what is acceptable for you, then trust them to respect that. Over time, trust builds and the line might be slowly pushed back. Fear of what MIGHT happen seems to be stopping you from enjoying anything being done in the moment. You worry about what’s coming next instead of enjoying what you’re doing right then. That’s why you need trust.

If you set the rules, you then have to trust your partner to follow them. Hopefully once they prove themselves to be respectful and reliable, to do as you ask and not do anything that makes you uncomfortable, then you, in turn, will actually feel MORE comfortable about loosening the reins a bit and exploring.

Not everyone likes it rough, so you’re not alone or “weird” for that, but don’t let it frighten you, okay? You have the power and CONTROL over what happens. Not enjoying it is one thing, being afraid of it is another thing entirely.

I want to use a strap on with my girlfriend but I was wondering if it would feel good for me to or if it would just be pleasure for her

A run of the the mill strap on is usually more about pleasure for the person receiving, but there’s an erotic element for the person wearing it. The simulation of the act is really exciting – consider it a great form of foreplay for you. You’re pleasing your partner and it’s also a bit of a trip. 😉 Think about what it’s going to be like looking down and watching as you thrust in and out of your girlfriend…the way she’ll be moaning…the look on her face…

It’s very much a visual/psychological pleasure you’ll get from using it on someone.

However! It doesn’t mean that you won’t experience any physical pleasure from wearing the strap-on as well! Depending on how aroused you are and the position you keep the dildo, you can orgasm from that alone. The friction from the base of the dildo or the strap can be stimulating enough for an orgasm. Everyone is different, so it may or may not be enough for you, but you will experience some kind of physical pleasure no matter what. Trust me!

You can also get a dual pleasure strap on, one that has an insert against your clit (it’s like the rabbit part on the rabbit vibrators) or a dildo inside of you as well.

There’s also the Feeldoe which is a strapless double dildo. Using it without a harness requires you to have really strong muscles down there to be able to hold it in place. 90% of women just can’t do it, it keeps slipping out, so I really just advise you to get a harness no matter what toy you get. It takes a lot of pressure off you and it means less work, which means more pleasure. 😀

There’s tons of different versions of a double dildo, the feeldoe is just where it started so you can find them anywhere.

Also, just a tip, if you’re going to wear the harness, let your girlfriend pick the dildo. What works for you, might not work for her, and she’s the one receiving! So that’s something you two need to do together or have her do it.

@tigerdaffy said: What’s your view on girls/women calling their husband/lover ‘Daddy’ in a sexy way. Because it’s so much more socially acceptable, but it still makes me feel weird when people do it.

Personally, I’m not into it. It makes me uncomfortable. I don’t like it all and I don’t see the appeal of it. I don’t want a “daddy” in the bedroom, it creeps me out. I also don’t like the sir/mistress thing either. I can’t fathom that being a part of my sex life. It doesn’t turn me on to have someone dominate me or control me or make me their submissive. Nor do I want anyone to call me those things.

The Daddy/Mommy thing does raise some questionable issues for me, psychologically, but I think the “Daddy” term has been reinvented for sex as another form of “sir” or “master”. It’s a submissive term of endearment, but not quite so harsh as the others so that’s probably why it’s become more socially acceptable. Just a thought!

However, simply because I don’t like it or particularly understand the appeal, that doesn’t mean that there’s anything wrong with it! There are many people who LOVE that kind of sexual partnership and that’s okay! Just like it’s okay for me to NOT like it for myself.

Everyone has their own thing. We are incredibly different when it comes to things that are sexually arousing and appealing for ourselves. What I may find the hottest thing ever, might make you think I’m weird for liking at all (if you judge…).

I guarantee you that every single person in the whole entire world likes something sexual that someone else will inevitably respond to with: “…weird…”.

We all have our things. Some are more different than others. Some are more hidden than others. But they are still there and we should embrace who we are, not denounce others for it.

True story: okay so one time I was about to shag a guy and we were both naked and baked and right before I was going to give him head he called me “mommy” (kinda like how girls call guys daddy I guess?) and we just stared at each other and I slowly put my clothes on and told him some bullshit story about forgetting to feed my cat, that isn’t bad is it? Cause I still feel terrible

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I’m so sorry! That’s terrible! lol. Of course you were put out of the mood by that. No woman wants to be called “mommy” in the bedroom.

(Unless that’s a specific fetish… And if that is your thing then you need to have a discussion with your partner about that before trying anything out because you will risk having very similar situations to the above. Some people might be into it, some might not. Don’t take the risk and ruin everything – talk before you act.)

I understand how you felt the need to run far, far away and as fast as you possibly could, but you really didn’t need to make it such an uncomfortable situation! You could have broken up the tension by using humor. Perhaps by joking that you don’t plan on being called that until you actually are one. Anything to make it seem less awful and awkward for the guy!

Plus, you were both high! That should be taken into account when looking back at him saying that, haha.

I’m not saying you were wrong for leaving. You were obviously made to feel very uncomfortable and unsexy so anything happening after that was out of the question. But it didn’t have to be SO BAD as to make up a story about forgetting to feed your cat??? I mean…really…your cat wasn’t going to survive for the 20 mins you were going to use to have sex? lulz. Maybe you should prepare a better excuse for future situations if you need a fast exit because that one is NOT going to cut it…

In situations like that, humor, honesty, and no judgment is your best course of action. You could have told him the truth, nicely, with a non-judgmental tone: you just weren’t into it and it wasn’t going to happen tonight.

Then you put on your clothes, say goodbye, and run away from the boy with mommy issues…

I’m homeschooled and have thus never had a sex ed class. My parents don’t want me to have sex until after marriage, so they won’t talk to me about it. Do you know of any youtube channels or anything where I can educate myself?

Kicesie focuses on the basics of Sex Ed. So she’s more like Sex Ed 101. A little boring, but her information is on point.

I find LaciGreen entertaining and informative! She talks about more specific questions, debunks sex myths, and does her part to erase sexual stigmas. I think you’d learn a lot from her as well once you get the basics down!

You’re doing the right thing by seeking out information. It’s well within your right to wait until marriage (if that’s what you want), but even if you are waiting until marriage, you still need to know about sex! Hello? Marriage = lifetime sexual commitment to one person (among other things, of course, lol).

As for the best information you can get about STD’s and birth control, visit http://www.cdc.gov/STD/.

If anyone else has recommendations for YouTube channels for sex education, please send them this way!

EDIT…

timeisamany recommended: Sexplanations

Could you possibly give advice on how to get my girlfriend to sext without sounding like an asshole and just asking her?

Firstly, I don’t think that just asking her makes you sound like an asshole at all.  Communication should be number one in any relationship. Both sides will be much happier knowing that the other feels confident enough to discuss their feelings and open up to them.

That being said, there are a few options here.  Maybe start out slow, don’t just throw a dick pic in her direction and hope that’ll light her fire.  Truthfully, not many people like unsolicited dick pics, take it from me.

Maybe start out simple, tell her that you’re thinking about her, and you’re turned on.  Or you wanna know what she’s wearing, whatever you’re feeling.  And then let things progress from there.  I don’t know if you’re in an online relationship, or you actually know one another in person, but either way those are some good options.  Of course, if you know one another in person and are already sexually active, it might not take much convincing to get her to send you nudes, and vice versa. 

Sexting doesn’t just have to be about sending/receiving nudes anyway, hell, a lot of the sexting I’ve done was purely word motivated and sometimes that can really open things up.  A lot of times people find it easier to say things in a text message that they wouldn’t in person, so there’s just a few things to consider.  Plus, it can be all about the fantasy —if there’s something you wanted to try in person but were too afraid, maybe introduce it there and see how she reacts. The possibilities are endless.

-teagan.

a couple of questions…

ive been enjoying your post and also the great advise you seem to give. my situation is a tricky one, I’m a christian girl who has been attracted to girls lately, like thats all i seem to think about. to add to all this confusion I’m a virgin who is saving myself for marriage. so my issue it that i want to be with a girl but who? without no one finding out? and how would i go about finding someone with no ties to people who will know me from church. i want to have a secret relationship with a girl.

p.s. are you into girls? and if so how did you ask a girl. like there is no one i know really to experiment with. im kinda going crazy.

First of all, let’s get this straight. If you want to save yourself for marriage, sex is sex, so whether it’s with a male or a female you’re still having sex. Intercourse is usually what we refer to when people talk about saving themselves for marriage, but just because there is no penis involved, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be having sex.

I understand it’s a bit more complex for you coming from a religious background, but the truth is you have to be willing to risk that someone will find out that you’re having relations with a girl. Of course, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you don’t have to broadcast it for the world, either. It’s your life and your choices, and you’re allowed to experiment with whomever you wish and have relationships with whomever you wish. Sure, some people in your church or community might judge you, but that’s a risk that you would take whether you were sleeping with a girl — or sleeping with the shady guy that everyone thinks is trouble. People are always going to make their judgments so you can’t stop living simply because of the fear of what other people think.

Having said that, as someone who is bisexual, I can understand the desire to have sex with another female. It can be an awesome experience. There are several ways for you to find someone to interact with, but you may already know someone that is interested. Maybe you have a friend who is curious, too, and they’d be open to experimenting a bit — talk to them about it, see where it goes. Sometimes people surprise you, and there’s nothing more interesting than finding out that someone is interested in the same thing you are — and afraid to open up about it, as well.

-teagan.

coming from a girl. sex has been so uncomfortable so far, even though my bladder is empty, i feel the need to pee during sex and makes it so uncomfortable and unrelaxing. whats this about?

First of all, make sure that you don’t just have to pee! Make a trip to the bathroom before you start getting frisky, and see if that helps your problem.  Or if you have more impromptu sex, even if it disrupts the vibe, if you feel like you’re going to pee — go pee and then come back to your partner to continue.  Better safe than sorry, because obviously peeing on them is probably going to ruin the vibe — unless you’re both into that. Communication is key. (;

On the other hand, it could be something else.  There is always the possibility that the angle that you’re having sex from is allowing your partner to press against your G-spot.  In this case, after a bit of stimulation, that particular feeling of ‘Oh god, I have to pee!’ will generally pass and lead to an incredible orgasm if you’re lucky.  Generally, this happens more easily if you’re riding him, or you’re having sex from behind. Try a few positions, and try to work through the feeling and enjoy the experience with your partner who may have hit the jackpot by finding your G-spot.  It takes a lot of couples a long time to figure that out, so, enjoy it instead of feeling uncomfortable.

-teagan.