Tag: masturbating

IDEAS FOR WAYS TO MASTURBATE (FOR WOMEN)

I can’t even begin to count how many messages I receive on a daily basis with questions about masturbating.

“Is this normal?” “I can’t orgasm” “It doesn’t feel good” “I don’t like penetration, just my clit – am I ruined?” “I don’t know how to masturbate!” And so on…

Here’s the thing: there is no normal.

There is no one size fits all. No one method that is a sure thing. Everyone is different. Everyone has to explore to find their own way. However, masturbating is absolutely common, very healthy, and will help your future (or current) sex life immensely! So I’ve compiled a list of ideas that will hopefully help some of you. Really, it’s to spark some sexual creativity in you, not give you a specific manual.

The best way to utilize this list is to mix and match! Read through and see what different things appeal to you and then combine them, tweak them, to create a fantastic, custom-tailored, method of masturbation! (Boys, check the masturbating tag, I’ve given plenty of creative ideas there for you as well.)

My advice: Don’t touch yourself to get yourself wet. Be wet BEFORE anything goes between your legs. Foreplay is essential even when it comes to masturbating! Get yourself aroused before jumping to fondle your clit or finger yourself. It’s the best way to optimize your experience!

  • Use two fingers to gently rub circles around/on your clit.
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  • On your stomach or on all fours. It’s a different experience, different sensations. It’s easier to move your hips and fuck your fingers instead of your fingers fucking you. Alt. Use both hands to play with your clit, alternating with a sideways motion while lying on your stomach.
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  • Use a vibrator on your clit while penetrating yourself simultaneously with a dildo. Increase vibration intensity as you fuck yourself harder with the dildo.  Alt. Use a vibrator/dildo with one hand while using the other hand to play with your clit with your fingers. Suggested: vibrator from Spencer’s and glass dildo “Icicle #1”.
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  • In the bathtub, sit under the faucet and let it stimulate you. Whirpool jets in a bathtub can be used as well. Alt. use a showerhead – prop your leg up for optimal angle.Showerheads are extremely popular and with good reason… THEY WORK!
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  • Watch porn and once you’re aroused and wet, hump a stuffed animal. Rub your clit on the nose (or some firmer spot) over and over until you orgasm. Not every stuffed animal works for this so you’ll have to experiment to find one that works the best for you.
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  • Watch porn to get aroused and instead of rubbing your clit, flick it or slap it or tap it. Rubbing doesn’t work for everyone and you experience different sensations by using a different motion with your fingers. Experiment to see what you like the most!
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  • Read erotica (whether online stories or a book) to get aroused then penetrate yourself with one, two, or three fingers until you’re on the cusp of orgasm and finish yourself off by rubbing your clit.
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  • Turn off the lights. Close the blinds (if it’s daytime). Put a rolled up towel or blanket under your hips and while scrolling through this blog (or any site with pornographic images) play with yourself. The angle of your hips makes it easier for deeper penetration and different sensations.
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  • Dry humping. Hump your hand, a pillow, the edge of a bed, an exercise ball, etc. Try watching porn or looking through sex blogs (suggested: gifs where someone is riding their partner are preferred, they give you a sense of rhythm and adds to the imagination).
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  • Sit on a pillow on a chair in front of the computer or TV and bend a corner up to rub your clit to get yourself wet and aroused. Then lie on your back and finger yourself. Keep trying different positions, different angles, until you orgasm. Don’t be afraid to try “weird” positions because you never know what could be the most explosive for you. No positions are weird if they work!
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  • Nipple stimulation. Use one hand to punch your nipples while the other plays with your clit.
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  • Think about past sexual experiences or fantasize about entirely new ones. You don’t need porn to stimulate yourself. You have an entire pornographic library inside your head just waiting to be accessed ! IMAGINATION. Once you’re thoroughly wet and aroused, start touching yourself.
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  • Use a vibrator on top of your underwear, pressed against your clit. Ride it/hump it/grind against it if you start feeling the urge to move your hips. Don’t ignore those natural urges your body has. You have those instincts for a reason! It’s your body telling you what it needs to reach that peak point of orgasm. The best thing you can do for yourself is learn how to listen to your body and give it what it wants.
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  • Use the Eroscillator vibrator on your clit (hey, it’s recommended by Dr. Ruth!) and vary it up with several of its attachments (ie. Seven Pearls of the Orient).

Note: It is very common for women who consider themselves straight to masturbate to gay/lesbian porn. So please indulge without having a sexual identity crisis! It doesn’t mean you’re a lesbian if you enjoy lesbian porn. It doesn’t mean you’re straight if you enjoy straight/gay porn. It’s fantasy. Fantasies and new things are sexually thrilling. So instead of watching the usual thing that you’ve all seen and done before, why wouldn’t something completely different and sexy, like two women or two men, be a huge turn on? It’s exciting and hot. That’s it. Use it to take back to bed with your partner who is whatever freaking gender you want.

Stop worrying so much! Revel. Enjoy. Explore. Get horny. Fuck the hell out of yourself.

Hi.I had sex for the first time last year but i didn’t enjoy it like when i masturbate.i’m addicted to masturbation since i’m 13 now 19.i feel so ashamed about it :(i want to stop masturbating @( a)i am afraid to loose him when he finds out

Uh, what exactly qualifies as addiction? How many times a day are you masturbating? Cause it’s really totally normal, even if it’s every day.

Sex for the first time is almost never good in the sense of purely physical pleasure. Practice makes perfect. The more you do it, the better it gets because not only does your body adapt, but you start learning about what you need to do to make it good.

If you’ve been having sex for a year with this guy and it’s not as good as what you do alone then you have two options to consider.

A) He’s a dud in bed and you need to break up. ‘Cause, really, what’s the point?

B) You might be too inhibited during sex and instead of showing him what you like/need, you’re holding back out of shyness, embarrassment, whatever. You can’t rely on the other person to know everything that makes you tick. You have to help them get to know you. Guide them. Don’t leave them hanging. You know what works for you, now you have to teach your partner to do it. Sex is about teamwork. You have to let someone else help you out now instead of doing all the work yourself.

Is it normal that I am 16 and I masturbate every day? Should I wind down? Do it less? Is it okay/normal that my vagina is red after it? (Probably from all the rubbing) that goes on there while things are in action.. help! I’m a bit worried ..

Totally normal! You’re fine! Don’t worry so much.Masturbating is a healthy and fun activity. Plus, it’s always better to learn as much as you can about your body to prepare for future sexual encounters. Practice makes perfect!

Some women have a vagina that “blushes” more noticeably so, yes, redness is normal as well. As long as there’s no itching or rash involved – just red from stimulation.

Carry on, soldier! 😉

If i masturbate often (clitoral) can that make me lose sensitivity? Like will that make my orgasms become less intense

For women, no. (Men: see below.) The whole experience changes the more often you masturbate and have sex because you start to learn different things about how your body works AND you also start to RECOGNIZE the feelings that are building up in you.

When you first start masturbating, all the feelings and sensations are so new and overwhelming, you have no idea what to do with them and how to process it. Later on, you know what to expect, the newness isn’t there anymore, HOWEVER, this does not mean less sensitivity.

You actually experience more powerful orgasms as you experiment sexually because you figure out how to maximize your pleasure. It’s just a different feeling than the first few times you had an orgasm because back then it was NEW, not stronger, just NEW. Women don’t lose sensitivity, we gain experience.

MEN! Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for you! Yes, you do lose sensitivity when you masturbate frequently – especially when you jack off roughly. If you grip yourself too hard and you’re too “FULL THROTTLE!” when you beat off, you lose sensitivity in your dick and it makes it more difficult for you to cum when actually having sex. What good is a soft, warm pussy when your hand has had your dick in a vice grip every other day of the week? You’re fucking yourself over and not in a good way!

Guys, take the foot off the pedal when jacking off. Do it less frequently and loosen your damn grip. If all you want is your hand to share your nights with, then by all means, ignore what I’m trying to tell you. 😉

anonymous asked sumptuousdaydreams:

Wow so um, I am a bit scared to masturbate in my room sometimes because of my parents..I’m 16 and I don’t want them to know of my.. sexual pleasures. I finish myself off with the help of your blog ofc almost everyday and..ah! what shoud I do? Stop?

….

My dad just walked in on me laying in my bed, room pitch black (as if I were sound asleep) a minute after I finished. My phone was placed on my chest since i use the help of your blog to get horny and shit. So the porn window was open! What to do??

Just act normal. There’s nothing wrong with what you were doing. It’s a little embarrassing for someone to catch you like that, but ignore it. He’s DEFINITELY not going to say anything about it. I’m sure he’s just as embarrassed as you are about walking in on you. Both of you are going to pretend like it never happened, haha.

Masturbating is a completely normal and healthy activity, just a private one. In the future, be more aware of who’s in the house, try doing it somewhere that has a locked door, or start pushing your parents to knock before they come in. Enforce the “KNOCK FIRST RULE”.

Besides, unless you have the Galaxy with that massive screen, I’m sure your Dad didn’t see much of anything. He’s probably going to excuse it as you taking a nap or resting or something. Dads don’t really like to go right to the “my daughter was getting off” conclusion. It doesn’t even occur to a lot of them! haha.

Trust me, it’d be much worse if your Dad caught you in bed with another person instead of just the phone. That is just not fun and not easy to ignore.

Hi so I’m 16, and I’m in a very good relationship. We have talked about sex, we both want it so bad. He’s not a virgin, but I am. And now We’re both in a situation where it’s very hard to see each other. So he got me a vibrator.. And I used it for the first time the other day, and when I pulled it out, there was blood on it. I’m scared now. What does this mean??

You likely tore your hymen. Nothing to worry about. Absolutely normal. If the bleeding continues or is heavy, then that would be a time to see a doctor. But from what you described, you’re fine. Everything going just as it should! 🙂

So my boyfriend can’t get off unless he does it Like no matter how long we do it and he says it’s been that way forever, he has only came during sex twice. Is there anything I can even do?

First, it’s not you. It has nothing to do with you. Just so that’s clear…

I’ve discussed this issue before. I think the likely problem here is that he masturbates too roughly. He’s gotten too accustomed to the grip of his own hand, that entering something softer, like pussy, ends up not being enough for him. He’s basically ruining sex for himself that way. He’s trained his cock to work with his own hand and nothing else!

There’s nothing YOU can do in this situation because it’s a problem he’s created for himself. What he needs to do is masturbate less and when he does masturbate, he needs to lighten his grip (a lot!). By jerking off so aggressively, he’s desensitized himself. Now he needs to find a way train his cock so that it reacts easily to stimulation again instead of needing that fierce grip of his own hand. So, ask him to cut back on masturbating and to take it easier on himself when he does (sparingly). By doing both of those things, he’s using sensory deprivation for future pleasure and allowing his cock to regain its natural sensitivity.

Be sure to tell him that it’s going to seriously improve your sex life! Check out the masturbating tag where I talked about this issue before.

I have never fingered myself befor but i want to, but im to sceard my hole will be to small?

Okay, if it’s your first time you’re going to want to go slowly but I can assure you that you won’t have any problems with being too small — especially for your own fingers. 

The trick is to make sure that you’re aroused, so you can fully enjoy what you’re doing.  So, take your time. Watch some porn, lay in bed and tease yourself — your breasts, your clit, whatever works.  You don’t have to rush yourself along and just shove your fingers inside yourself.  That isn’t really pleasant for anyone.

So, once you’re feeling nice and relaxed and probably very wet from all the teasing you’ve been doing, then start fingering yourself.  You can start with one finger and go slowly, building up from there.  Just explore yourself a bit and really enjoy what you’re doing.  If you’re wet, you shouldn’t have any problems with putting your fingers inside of yourself.  (Hell, if you’re too nervous to get wet on your own, use some lube which you can buy from basically anywhere to help get you into the mood).

See what works for you, though.  One finger. Two fingers. Whatever.  Switch up the angles, or the speed, and see what really turns you on.  In no time, you should be able to find out what really turns you on and build on it from there.  There’s plenty of time to explore what feels good, and there is literally no right way to masturbate, so have fun with it!

-teagan.

i’m lesbian.. i’ve never had sex with a guy. i tried a vibrator for the first time today and i have no idea where my hole is??? i know it should be able to go in me, but idk how?? or where??? is it bc my cherry isnt popped or??

First, watch this video where she explains EXACTLY what the hymen is and how “popping your cherry” is a grossly inaccurate description.

Second, I want you to get a handheld mirror. Go into the bathroom or somewhere private, get naked from the waist down, prop one leg up, use the mirror, and LOOK AT YOURSELF. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to learn firsthand what you look like down there and where everything is. You should be able to see everything clearly.

Just look, explore, touch yourself, and you’ll be an expert in no time. You can even sit on your bed, spread your legs, and use the mirror to look at yourself while you masturbate! If you don’t have a handheld mirror, pick up a cheap one from ANY drugstore.

Go easy with penetration too. Start off using your fingers first before jumping to a vibrator. You need to let your body adjust slowly to that kind of intrusion otherwise it’s just not going to feel good. Take it slow and prepare your body for it.