Long distance relationships suck. That’s just the basic truth. There’s nothing fun about them. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s what we have to go through when we really care about someone.
First, you need to talk to your boyfriend about what you’re going through. I guarantee he’s feeling the same. You both want to stay faithful, but yes, you still have sexual needs. Is monogamy absolutely what you want? Do you want to give each other a “pass”? Would you be interested in being “monogamish”? It’s a discussion to have. And if you choose to go that route, set clear rules and parameters for you both.
If monogamy is your choice, then you have to step it up. Skype sex, phone sex, naughty texts, getting as much intimate one-on-one time during visits, etc. Make those moments count so that when you feel yourself getting antsy, you won’t look for the nearest body to help you out. Instead, you’ll want to go home, call him up, and let him help you take care of yourself.
Also, invest in a very, very good vibrator. Hell, get several of them. Couldn’t hurt! You want to be able to do what you need to do on your end to make sure you’re not totally depriving yourself of sexual gratification. That’s just not helping anyone!
Try to keep yourself busy with friends, family and loved ones. Keep an active social life to take your mind off being away from your boyfriend and the lack of sex. And, if this is really what you want, STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE YOU DON’T TRUST YOURSELF AROUND. Otherwise, you know exactly the kind of temptation you’re putting in front of you and you know there’s a reason why you’re doing it… Why put yourself in those situations when you want to be faithful to your guy? Questions to ask yourself…
Join a club. Go to the gym. Take spin classes. I don’t know! Anything to keep you active and busy.
The real question here is, did you reach that point with your friend just because you were horny or because there’s something else going on? Do you feel like you’re drifting apart from your boyfriend? Are you lonely? Because situations like that are not about the lack of sex. Going through long dry spells are manageable (they’re not fun, but they are manageable). So when “almost” mistakes like that occur, it’s about something much more than being horny. Maybe you’re rethinking the commitment you made? It’s okay if you are. You’re allowed to decide that this relationship isn’t working for you anymore. That’s life. So don’t guilt trip yourself about it if that’s the case.
Think it over. Talk to your boyfriend. Make some changes in your relationship that will help prevent something like that near-miss from happening again. Long distance is rough and it means making a lot of sacrifices. Sometimes the sacrifice is more than worth it. Sometimes it’s not. What is it for you?
Sumptuous Daydreams 