health – Page 2 – Sumptuous Daydreams

Okay so I explored myself for the first time today and I saw what looked like white stuff and maybe dirt around the clit? Is that bad? Am I gonna die?

No, you’re not going to die.

It sounds like vaginal smegma to me (though be aware this is a guess and I am not a medical professional).

The vagina normally produces a clear or whitish substance to help cleanse itself and maintain a healthy environment. So it’s NORMAL to find white or liquid-y stuff down there. However, it should not have an overwhelming scent to it. So if you’ve found that your smell has changed (for the worse), smegma is probably the answer.

Smegma is a natural lubricating residue made up of shedded skin cells, skin oil secretions, and moisture, including sweat. Its cheesy like appearance can vary in color from almost white to a darker shade, depending on a person’s skin tone. Smegma gathers in the nooks and crannies of the body’s skin folds, including between the labia and around the clitoral hood.

Uncircumcised men have this as well, finding the same substance underneath the foreskin, but because of male circumcision, it is more common among women than men.

What smegma is known for is its characteristic smell, which some people find arousing and others find unpleasant. It’s not dangerous or life threatening or even an infection. It’s just a build up of normal bodily fluids so just gently wipe it away with some warm water. The mucosal skin of the genitals is sensitive so avoid using soap when you’re doing this.

Your body naturally cleans your vagina so soap is not necessary and many soaps are far too harsh to use down there anyway. I’m not saying don’t ever use soap down there, if you want to take the extra step to clean, use something like Summer’s Eve, but just know that rinsing yourself on a daily basis is really all your vagina needs to stay clean.

If you feel any pain, discomfort, or you find that washing it away is not helping the smell, then please seek medical attention! (You’re still not going to die though.)

Hey! I’m a teenage girl who wants to lose her virginity with her boyfriend. My family is strictly Catholic and believe in no sex before marriage. I’m atheist though and I’ve been dating this guy for almost eight months. He’s got condoms, but should I be on a pill or something? We’re both virgins and neither of us have any venereal diseases. My main concern is pregnancy. My parents will not tolerate any kind of sex, so no help there. It’s too long to explain but my doc can’t help me out. Advice?

Condoms are only about 80% effective. Accidents happen with condoms – they can break or slip off or something could wrong. So, ideally, you want to be on birth control AND use a condom to be as safe as you possibly can.

If your doctor isn’t someone you trust to keep your confidence then I suggest you google free clinics in your area (such as Planned Parenthood). They will be able to help you with all your questions about safe sex, testing, and birth control needs. And, no, they will not contact your parents. They are required by law to keep your records confidential.

What are the chances of me and my girlfriend getting an STD if we both perform oral sex on each other, with no protection (we’re both girls)? We’re both virgins, and plan on not having sex with anyone else.

Slim to none.

I’m a lesbian and I plan on eating my girlfriend out for the first time very soon. I don’t know how to use any sort of protection but I was wondering if I even had to since we’re both clean of STD’s and we’re virgins? We honestly don’t plan on having sex with anyone else. (We’ve been together for 2 years)

If you don’t use protection when engaging in sexual activity, such as eating a girl out, that’s a personal choice you make. You know you’re still a virgin, but you’re taking her on her word that she’s a virgin as well. You can never be 100% certain what she’s done with others. People lie. It’s just the truth.

Dental dams are the way to protect yourself when you go down on a woman. It’s a thin, rectangular piece of rubber (like a condom) that you put over the vagina to prevent any fluid exchange. (You also would use this for any mouth to anus play – rimming/analingus.) Almost everything is the same when you’re eating her out, the only difference is that, like a condom, there will be a thin piece of latex between you and her vagina. (If you’re allergic to latex, they make them in silicone too.) This video shows you what a dental dam looks like and how to place it over the vagina.

If you choose to engage in any form of unprotected sex, even when eating out a girl without dental dams or going down on a guy without a condom, you have to acknowledge and accept the fact that you are taking a risk. Both of those acts are often glossed over when it comes to safe sex because a lot of people either don’t realize the risk they’re taking or they choose to roll the dice and hope for the best. A lot of people take the risk and do just fine. Some aren’t as lucky. Use your judgment and choose your partners wisely.

Just know that, YES, you can get STD’s that way and, YES, it could happen to you. Just because you can’t get pregnant through oral does not mean that oral sex is “safe sex”. You could easily get gonorrhea in your throat from an unprotected blowjob or herpes/genital warts from unprotected cunnilingus. It can happen! That’s all I want people to understand. That it’s possible. You are not immune.

Now, it’s highly unlikely in your case, for your particular situation, but it’s good to know for the future! Up to you!

Additionally, you always want to have routine STD screenings when you’re sexually active. Trust is an essential part of a relationship, BUT you still need to protect yourself. So even if you believe with all your heart that your partner is committed to you and can’t possibly give you an STD they contracted from someone else, you still need to acknowledge that it’s POSSIBLE. So always be safe, protect yourself first and foremost, and get yourself tested on a regular basis.

is it harder for a guy to cum when he has consumed some alcohol?

Alcohol definitely has a negative impact on guys when it comes to sexual function (more often than not). If they overdo it, it can lead to them having a hard time even getting an erection, let alone maintaining it.

Alcohol is a depressant. It works on the nervous system by slowing down brain function, breathing, and pulse. The effect is usually psychologically stimulating, you become freer and less inhibited. However, while it can boost sexual desire by helping a person to relax (hi girls!), it can decrease performance (hi boys!).

Heavy drinking for men decreases blood flow to the penis, reduces the intensity of their orgasm, and can dampen their level of excitement. Which basically means it’s harder for them to get it up, keep it up, or cum at all. Alcohol dulls the senses so they don’t get the same sensitivity or excitement. It just doesn’t feel as good!

Now, this is with HEAVY drinking. A couple beers will not render a guy incapable of having sex or cause any problems. It just loosens them up and increases their sex drive like everyone else. It’s the “overdoing it” part that’s a problem. Everyone’s tolerance level is different so it affects guys sexual performance differently as well. One guy might have a really hard time maintaining an erection after 7 beers, but another might be able to go ahead with business as usual! It’s really about how their body metabolizes the alcohol.

As a rule of thumb though: too much alcohol = bad sex. For men and women! So drink in moderation and stay sober enough to really be able to enjoy yourselves!

Hi there! Both my girlfriend and I, are virgins. We plan on giving each other our virginity and we talk about it a lot (I’m 17, she’s 18) I told her I would definitely eat her out because I’m comfortable with that and I want to please her also. I just have one question, is it sanitary? We’re both very clean people who haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone but ourselves whilst masturbating. I heard you’re suppose to wash your face after or not get cum on your face because of diseases? Help?

It’s absolutely sanitary! And, no, you’re not going to get an STD from having cum on your face or from not washing your face after sex…

If your partner has an STD or another communicable disease then you’ll get it from engaging in any form of unprotected sex – oral or intercourse. It has nothing to do with you leaving cum on your face for too long or something, haha.

Don’t worry about it. Just wipe it off with the back of your hand or on her thighs or her stomach or even the sheets, and keep on going! It would actually be incredibly insulting/rude if you just left right after eating her out to wash your face… Sex gets messy and good sex is even messier! Enjoy it!

On the flip side, semen actually contains properties that are really good for your skin! Weird but true…

After my boyfriend and i had sex, he ate me out. When he finished and came up to kiss me he had such a horrible taste in his mouth and all over his lips. It smelled like sweaty armpits and garbage and fish and just ugh. Obviously the first thing i thought was that it was from me. What could have caused that odor? He also caught a cold sore the next day. It looked bad. As if there were about 3 on his lip at the same time. I didnt want to stare though. We didnt discuss this afterwards either.

It sounds like you have a bacterial infection that you should see a doctor about for treatment and it sounds like you gave your boyfriend oral herpes which he should see a doctor for as well.

Can you catch a cold sore from giving oral sex?

Okay, let’s start off by clarifying that cold sores are a form of Herpes Simplex – Oral Herpes (HSV-1).

When someone has an outbreak, which is when they have a cold sore or a fever blister (whatever you want to call it), that’s when HSV-1 is the most contagious. When the symptoms/blisters are present, when they’re actually on your mouth, that’s when you can easily give it to someone else. Sharing a cup, sharing a towel, and yes, oral sex. If you have an outbreak and you perform oral sex on someone, you are opening them to a high risk of infection.

Oral herpes is transmitted through direct contact between the contagious area and broken skin (a cut or break) and mucous membrane tissue (such as the mouth or genitals). Herpes can also be transmitted when there are no symptoms present. There are several days throughout the year when the virus reactivates yet causes no symptoms (called asymptomatic shedding, viral shedding, or asymptomatic reactivation).

So if you have an outbreak, refrain from kissing on the mouth and performing oral sex until the sore heals and the skin goes back to normal. However, a large majority of the adult population already has HSV-1 and it’s asymptomatic for many.

There’s also a reverse! By performing oral sex on someone who has genital herpes, it would be possible to contract oral herpes – but that’s rare. Most cases of genital herpes are caused by HSV-2, which rarely affects the mouth or face.

However, you will likely contract HSV-2, genital herpes, if you perform oral sex on someone who has it, especially if they have any open sores around that area. I don’t want to freak people out, but yes, you can contract genital herpes EVEN WHEN THERE ARE NO VISIBLE SORES.

So oral herpes is a very mild disease, there’s no cure, but the biggest issue is largely cosmetic. Genital herpes, with the HSV-2 virus, however, is more painful, and can be worse if you have a suppressed immune system. The sores are easily transferred to other parts of the body so you have to be particularly careful. Wash your hands immediately if you touch a sore.

Oral and genital herpes are manageable conditions so don’t panic. Yes, you should take all the precautions you can, but if you do contract the virus, it’s not the end of the world.

Talk to your doctor!

Hello! I just found your blog, and I really like it! I haven’t browsed all the way through, but I saw a lot of people asking you for advice, and I liked your answers. If I can offer a topic I haven’t seen discussed all that much for girls having sex for the first time (other girls too)? Please let them know to go pee shortly after sex, every time! It REALLY helps to avoid UTIs, which are a huge pain and require antibiotics to treat. Just thought I’d warn all the ladies! : )

It’s true! Urinating after sex flushes out bacteria and helps avoid a urinary tract infection (UTI).

However, it is a MYTH that peeing after sex helps prevent pregnancy so don’t fall for that one. Condoms and other forms of birth control are the only things that prevent pregnancy!

Oh! And thank you! I’m glad you’re enjoying the blog! 🙂

Okay, I have a problem… I love my boyfriend, I love having sex with him, I love how I’m comfortable around him, but my anxiety is now seriously starting to hold me back from enjoying sex. I am on the birth control pill and I take it religiously every morning, we always use a condom and make sure it didn’t break or tear, yet every month when I’m supposed to get my period, I have massive anxiety attacks that it won’t come. I don’t want to stop having sex but I just don’t know what to do.

You are taking all the precautions possible. There’s nothing to be worried about. You’re on the pill and you’re using condoms. Other than having him get a vasectomy, you’re doing everything you can.

Your anxiety about this leads me to think that there are some other stressful things going on in your life. Or maybe you know someone who recently got pregnant?

Talk to your doctor or someone else qualified and have them explain to you the chances of you getting pregnant with the preventative measures you’ve taken. Your chances are very, very small. You’re taking on the pill, that’s 99.9% effective. Then you have a condom as a physical barrier. The condom more than takes care of that freak chance of .1% you have left after the pill. You have to think about this logically, with facts, not let your head run away with all the ‘what if’s’.

Keep being careful and you will not get pregnant until you want to be pregnant. Okay? Think about some of the other factors in your life right now that might be influencing this anxiety about pregnancy.