Tag: first time

First Time?

I’m about to lose my virginity this weekend and I’m nervous. Any advice?

  • Be sure this is what you want and not about anyone else, first and foremost.
  • Don’t expect miracles. It’s not going to be that great (the first time), but if you’re with someone you care about, it will be wonderful in a different way – beyond physical pleasure.
  • Don’t do anything you feel uncomfortable with. You have the right to say no and to stop at any time you want. Always remember that!
  • Relax and let yourself be in the moment. Don’t make yourself a wreck with worrying about how to do this and that and all the ‘technical’ things. Do what feels good, act on instinct, and take it slowly.
  • If you can manage to have an orgasm BEFORE penetration, it’ll make the whole experience so much better. Tell your partner that and try to make it happen.

Be safe and enjoy yourself!

Before anal what should i do to get all the waste out of my ass? Also will i bleed?

Try to make sure you go to the bathroom at least an hour before having sex. Shower and soap up everything really well. If you are able to go, then don’t worry about ‘cleaning out’. Just clean your asshole in the shower! 🙂

If you can’t go, then maybe you can use an enema at least a few hours prior to having intercourse. If you do it right before you have sex, it dries you out and you’ll be more prone to rips or tears. You can buy a disposable enema kit at your local drugstore. It’s not healthy to do an enema very often so practice sparingly. There have also been studies done where it shows that enemas or any other kind of “waste cleansing” measures taken can cause more problems than they solve and have been implicated in the increased transmission of STI’s (including HIV).

Just be aware that it’s not necessary to “anal douche” before having anal intercourse. If you’re regular and not constipated, you’ll likely be clean inside already. The waste isn’t stored there. You’re also going to be using a condom (RIGHT?) and that’s the safest, cleanest way to have anal sex.

You should not bleed if you do it properly. You need to go really slowly, prepare your body for it (anal stimulation like rimming, slowly working lubed up fingers in, stretching your asshole by spreading out your buttcheeks, etc.), and use PLENTY OF LUBE. Seriously, there is no such thing as too much lube during anal.

If you bleed afterwards, that means rectal tissue got torn or damaged during sex (which should not happen!). You need to have your muscles be relaxed and open and your partner can’t be too rough with you. Rough anal will cause bleeding.

I’m sure I don’t have to say this, but I will anyway. WEAR A CONDOM. It’s not just for safety – it will allow him to move in and out of you more easily and prevent anal fissures (tearing).

I’m 17 and been with my first proper boyfriend for 5 months now. i’m not very experienced but i would like to rub him down there. I’m not ready for sex and i’m not ready for a proper hand job. do you have any advice on how I could do it through his underwear, how long and how to keep it hot while making out? thanks

Well, that’s a bit problematic because how far do you plan on taking it? I completely understand not being ready for anything more and you should wait as long as you need, but if you tease him too much, you’re going to give your boyfriend a serious case of blue balls and that’s just mean. So until you’re ready to actually get him off, I would keep that kind of touching/teasing to a minimum.

You can massage him through his pants, cup him there, put your knee in between his legs while making out so it rubs against his crotch, straddle him so you can dry hump, etc.

But do this sparingly and not for more than a few seconds because he’s going to have a massive hard on if you do too much and then with no release, that sucks for him. If he does come, then it’s gonna be in his pants and that’s a sticky, gross mess for him and it doesn’t sound like you’re ready for him to be doing that either. So the best thing you can do to make it easier on your boyfriend (and your relationship) until you’re ready for more, is to avoid getting him too excited.

Keep kissing. Keep taking little steps that you feel comfortable with. But keep in mind that he’s a teenage boy with very little control over his body’s reactions so to be the best girlfriend you can be is to understand that and hold off on touching below the waist until you’re ready for more there. Don’t feel pressured to do anything for him. You’ll be ready when you’re ready and if he’s the kind of guy you want to be with, he’ll respect that.

i want to try anal. i’ve gotten fingered in the ass before and loved it. its my first time and the person who is up for it is sorta on the larger side. i already know the basics of how to do it and be safe and what not but, is there any way for me to loosen it up a bit before. like masturbating it or something?

How to loosen up on your own?

butt plug

With your partner?

LOT’S AND LOT’S OF FOREPLAY. THIS IS CRUCIAL.

You have to take it really slow and work your way up to it. Rushing is the absolute worst thing you could do. Rimming, stretching your asshole, lubed up fingers, even slapping your ass, all of that will help your sphincter relax and prepare itself. You, yourself, also need to be relaxed otherwise it’s just not good. So try having your partner eat you out while playing with your ass, that way the combined pleasure and stretching/finger play will open you up and relax the muscles there.

KEY PHRASE: If it hurts, don’t force it.

Enjoying Anal Play

Dumb question, when a guy eats you out is there anything you are supposed to do while he is doing the deed? And another dumb question, will he think the v is gross and ugly? I always thought mine was kinda ugly, but that’s just me:p

Your vagina is a beautiful flower. WORSHIP THE V. It does magical things.

When a guy is eating you out, your only job is to enjoy it and do whatever you want to make it more enjoyable for you. Hump his face, grab his hair, push him to where you want him to go, hold him there, roll your hips, WHATEVER YOU WANT. If you’re not enjoying it, then there’s a real problem there and you need to correct it ASAP. You can start by giving him some instructions during.

It’s all about you when you’re getting eaten out so be as selfish as possible because that’s the only way it’s gonna be any good! In that moment, your partner is there to please YOU. So take advantage of that.

Not dumb questions. 😉

So.. last night me and my friend went to a party we got really drink and we made out for a while she ate me out and had an orgasm I liked it. and i’m so confused right now am I a lesbian? we haven’t talked since it happend and i’m so confused like I’ve never even had sex before and urgg

Does it matter?

You had sex with a girl and you liked it. Okay. Do you want to date her? Do you want to have sex with her again? You can do all of that and then if it doesn’t work out then maybe later down the line you’ll find a boy you’re attracted to and date/have sex with him. Maybe you’ll like that more, maybe you’ll like being with a girl more, maybe you’ll like both for the different pleasures it gave you!

Don’t rush into a gay panic. Enjoying sex with a girl simply means that you enjoyed having sex with that one particular girl. It does NOT mean that you now have to swear off boys forever, cut your hair like Justin Bieber, and eternally doom your closet to plaid button downs. (JOKING.) I mean, really, calm down. You’re not a lesbian just because you enjoyed having someone go down on you. It’s a very pleasurable sex act…

Focus on whether or not you actually want to be with the girl you had sex with. Not because she’s a girl, but because you like her, you’re attracted to her, and you want to do all those things you do with a bf/gf – cuddle, kiss, fuck, hold her hand, cry on her shoulder, bring her soup when she’s sick, dance with her at a club, talk to her about everything and anything, laugh until you cry, sit on her lap even when there’s plenty of room elsewhere, etc.

If that’s not what you want, then you’ll meet someone else you’re attracted to. Could be a guy. Could be a girl. Just go with it. We like people for being who they are, not for being a certain gender.

hi okay so i got fingered the other day (for the first time and i’m a virgin) and my pussy is really sore… is that normal? also i usually randomly get wet during the day but after i got fingered it’s more wet and i first i thought it was pee because it’s a little yellow but it smells like cum… is something wrong with me? thanku!!

Yes, it’s normal to be sore.

No, it should not be that color. Anything that’s not white or clear (and not related to your period) is an indication of an infection or an STD. See a doctor if that continues.

How can I make myself squirt? My girl friend said it turns her on and I want to squirt for her.

There’s no specific “method” to squirting. Honestly, it’s not even medically proven that every woman has the ability to ejaculate. I have heard, however, that it takes a lot of experimenting to find what will make it happen for you personally.

The most common denominator is that it involves a VIGOROUS stimulation of the clit and the G-spot. Once you’re worked up and wet from playing with your clit, you move to your G-spot. Use your fingers in a circular, steady, aggressive, pace to stimulate the G-spot. You can just use your fingers, but adding toys to the mix makes it easier though.

It often happens after your first orgasm, so this isn’t a one-off, it might happen in between your second or third. Just because you ejaculate, doesn’t mean you’ve had an orgasm yet. It’s a different kind of experience. Most women say that you know when it’s about to happen because it almost feels like you have to pee. The key is to ALLOW that to happen. Squirting seems to go hand in hand with very vigorous, rough, sex.

For more specific details try reading this:

HOW TO SQUIRT

image

Go hard, get wet.

Masturbating: besides using foreplay to relax, what can I do to loosen up? (female, never had sex before & I’m scared of hurting when the time comes)

Masturbating is the best way to help prepare yourself for your first time. And don’t be scared. It really doesn’t hurt that badly. It’s not great, but it’s not like you’re gonna scream in agony or anything! So calm down. The amount of discomfort you experience is determined by whether or not your hymen has been torn or stretched enough. It probably already is (especially if you’ve gone horseback riding, play active sports, hell – even riding a bicycle can cause it to tear). If your hymen is already torn, it won’t hurt much at all. It just takes a few moments of being uncomfortable before your body naturally adjusts to fit him. Slowly work your way up to using your fingers while masturbating, that will help your body with its first steps to the “invasion” ;). If you want to use a dildo to masturbate, that will help a lot too. It’s all up to you and on your terms – remember that.

As for your first time, the BEST way to make it the least painful and most enjoyable experience possible is to take it slow. LOTS AND LOTS of foreplay. Be SOAKING wet and horny as hell. Take your time! If he wants to rush things along, you tell that boy to slow the fuck down or it’s not happening. Set aside a lot of time for you to be together and not have to worry about being rushed. Make out, touch each other, just go slow. The act itself is NOT going to take this long (lol), but make sure you have like a 3-4 hour block of time where you know you’re not going to be interrupted or have to be anywhere. Having that security of time will help you have patience and be able to live in the moment more so you’re not just “skipping right to it”.

Have him go down on you, or do some heavy petting, anything, so that you have an orgasm before any actual penetration occurs. The more aroused your body is, the more prepared it is. After an orgasm, the vaginal channel is wider so you won’t be as tight. Having an orgasm before you actually have intercourse is going to change the experience for you so much (for the better, obviously).

Use lube. Of course, you’ll be using a condom (SAFE SEX!), but use lube in ADDITION to the condom. Not only does lube actually help prevent the condom from tearing, but it will also give your body some additional help on top of your natural wetness so things move in and out niceeeeee and easy! 😉 Have you ever gone on a slip n’ slide that didn’t have enough water on it? …exactly. Ow. So, the more lubrication you have, the better! Since it’s your first time, your nerves and fears will affect how wet you get, that’s completely normal, so lube will help make up for that!

No girl’s first time is perfectly amazing. It will hurt a little bit and be uncomfortable (at first), you’re not going to have an orgasm from intercourse (another reason to have one before!), and you’ll be sore for at least a day after. Also, it’ll take a few times before your body gets used to having sex and you start experiencing real pleasure.

What will make the first time you have sex special is who you have it with and the intimacy that comes with sharing this experience with him. So make it count, take your time, don’t worry about it hurting, just appreciate every moment, and don’t expect magical orgasms coming out in waves. The real sexual pleasure will come later with practice.

You’re going to be just fine! 🙂

so i’ve been seeing this guy for a while and i want to get more intimate with him. my concern is, being my first time, i’ll be too nervous or self-conscious and make a mess of things, even though i have a very clear idea of how to go down etc. any tips for a beginner?

The first thing you need to accept is that there are going to be clumsy and awkward moments. Just know that. It’s normal. Everyone has that happen to them every time they start out with someone new. It will NOT be like it is in the movies.

Once you accept that there’s going to be missteps and awkward silliness, the better it will be. Because then when those moments happen, you have to be able to laugh them off together (and you will). There’s no need to freak out or freeze up just because of some minor misstep. Laugh about it. Accept it. And keep going! He’s going to be nervous too. So you’re not alone.

Relax, don’t overthink, and even if you have to pretend to be more confident than you really are, do it, because it will actually help you towards being more confident in a backhand sort of way. Does that make sense at all?

Don’t worry so much about him, he’s going to enjoy being with you no matter what. Remember, you’re not there just for HIM. You’re there together, as partners, to share and give each other pleasure. So that means you need to rely on him to work with you. You’re not alone on an island, okay? He’s there. Ask him questions if you’re unsure. Take it as slow as you’d like. Talk. Kiss endlessly. Do what makes you feel good and what you feel comfortable with.

If he’s not someone you feel like you can trust and talk to about this, then maybe you’re not ready for this step. You want to be with someone you trust. Okay? 🙂

The rest is going to come naturally.