Tag: first time

I’m a lesbian and I plan on eating my girlfriend out for the first time very soon. I don’t know how to use any sort of protection but I was wondering if I even had to since we’re both clean of STD’s and we’re virgins? We honestly don’t plan on having sex with anyone else. (We’ve been together for 2 years)

If you don’t use protection when engaging in sexual activity, such as eating a girl out, that’s a personal choice you make. You know you’re still a virgin, but you’re taking her on her word that she’s a virgin as well. You can never be 100% certain what she’s done with others. People lie. It’s just the truth.

Dental dams are the way to protect yourself when you go down on a woman. It’s a thin, rectangular piece of rubber (like a condom) that you put over the vagina to prevent any fluid exchange. (You also would use this for any mouth to anus play – rimming/analingus.) Almost everything is the same when you’re eating her out, the only difference is that, like a condom, there will be a thin piece of latex between you and her vagina. (If you’re allergic to latex, they make them in silicone too.) This video shows you what a dental dam looks like and how to place it over the vagina.

If you choose to engage in any form of unprotected sex, even when eating out a girl without dental dams or going down on a guy without a condom, you have to acknowledge and accept the fact that you are taking a risk. Both of those acts are often glossed over when it comes to safe sex because a lot of people either don’t realize the risk they’re taking or they choose to roll the dice and hope for the best. A lot of people take the risk and do just fine. Some aren’t as lucky. Use your judgment and choose your partners wisely.

Just know that, YES, you can get STD’s that way and, YES, it could happen to you. Just because you can’t get pregnant through oral does not mean that oral sex is “safe sex”. You could easily get gonorrhea in your throat from an unprotected blowjob or herpes/genital warts from unprotected cunnilingus. It can happen! That’s all I want people to understand. That it’s possible. You are not immune.

Now, it’s highly unlikely in your case, for your particular situation, but it’s good to know for the future! Up to you!

Additionally, you always want to have routine STD screenings when you’re sexually active. Trust is an essential part of a relationship, BUT you still need to protect yourself. So even if you believe with all your heart that your partner is committed to you and can’t possibly give you an STD they contracted from someone else, you still need to acknowledge that it’s POSSIBLE. So always be safe, protect yourself first and foremost, and get yourself tested on a regular basis.

i’m lesbian.. i’ve never had sex with a guy. i tried a vibrator for the first time today and i have no idea where my hole is??? i know it should be able to go in me, but idk how?? or where??? is it bc my cherry isnt popped or??

First, watch this video where she explains EXACTLY what the hymen is and how “popping your cherry” is a grossly inaccurate description.

Second, I want you to get a handheld mirror. Go into the bathroom or somewhere private, get naked from the waist down, prop one leg up, use the mirror, and LOOK AT YOURSELF. That’s the only way you’re going to be able to learn firsthand what you look like down there and where everything is. You should be able to see everything clearly.

Just look, explore, touch yourself, and you’ll be an expert in no time. You can even sit on your bed, spread your legs, and use the mirror to look at yourself while you masturbate! If you don’t have a handheld mirror, pick up a cheap one from ANY drugstore.

Go easy with penetration too. Start off using your fingers first before jumping to a vibrator. You need to let your body adjust slowly to that kind of intrusion otherwise it’s just not going to feel good. Take it slow and prepare your body for it.

Is deep throating something that you have to practice to get right? I’ve tried once but i couldn’t really handle it

Deep throating is absolutely something you have to practice!  Don’t worry about not being able to do so immediately, some people have a really sensitive gag reflex, and some people don’t have a gag reflex at all.

First of all, deep throat can be a really enjoyable thing for both you and your partner — as long as you’ve made yourself comfortable doing it.  You don’t want to feel obligated to do so or like you’re choking just trying to keep their cock down your throat.

If you have a really sensitive gag reflex, there are some ways to desensitize that.  One way to do this is by practicing. Find a popsicle stick or something, and starting at the front of your tongue, move the stick along your tongue until you reach the part where you begin to gag.  Once you find it, take a few days to continually poke at it, and get past the discomfort.  You continue doing this, until you get all the way back.  If you don’t condition yourself this way, it’s possible that you’ll have problems with gagging at any point on your tongue – the front, or the middle, or the back. I know it sounds weird, but it’s true.

Another thing to do, is go slow.  Make sure that you have a signal for your partner if he’s going too fast, or being too harsh, and make sure he knows that you want to set the pace.  Start by taking him completely into your mouth until you feel him hitting the back of your throat, and then slowly work up to accepting him even further into your throat.  Eventually, with practice, you’ll also be able to deal with the movement that action requires, but don’t push yourself!

In all actuality, it might be possible that it just isn’t something you enjoy, or your body won’t allow you to do it. But, there’s no harm in practicing, and there’s no harm in not doing it, either.  It’s your body, and it’s all up to you. (:

-teagan

Well i was wondering where am i supposed to spit after givin someone a blowjob, because like how is the situation you know?

First of all, you should never do anything that you’re uncomfortable with, so whether you want to spit or swallow is up to you.

There are a few options, once your partner comes you can either spit it on him, (though, that is probably something you would want to discuss with them first), or keep a cup handy to spit into.  You can also keep a towel nearby, or just spit it on the blankets in a pinch.  Good sex is usually messy sex, so you shouldn’t be too concerned about things getting a little messier.  There’s also always the option of going into the bathroom if you have one at your disposal.  Of course, that might cause your partner some discomfort, so to spare their feelings maybe tell them what you’re doing, so they aren’t horrified and think you’re just bailing on them.  Communication is important here!

Of course, another thing to consider is that if you’re worried about the taste here, spitting is only going to make that worse since you’ll be holding it in your mouth for longer.

Also, if you really don’t want to deal with the spit or swallow issue, you can always let them cum elsewhere.  Let them cum on your chest, or your stomach, or wherever you’re comfortable with — or not on you at all.  You can always get them close to their climax, and then finish the job with your hand instead.

Basically, there is really no way you’re “supposed” to give a blowjob, or spit or anything else.  The technique is up to you, and so is what you decide to do with the cum in your mouth.  And don’t worry, if you decide you want to swallow instead, cum is good for you!  (;

-teagan.

Hi there can I ask for some advice? I turned 18 recently and my friend bought me my first vibrator, I’ve used it twice but I’m all ways sore after I use it. I know because I’m a virgin it would hurt some, but it can get really unbearable. I’m worried that when I do have sex it will hurt just the same. I’ve masturbated before with my fingers, and try turning my self on before I use the vibrator but it still hurts.

First of all, congrats on having a friend who bought you something useful. (;

Secondly, there are lots of reasons that you could be experiencing discomfort.  You said you try to turn yourself on first, but maybe you’re rushing things.  If you’ve masturbated with just your hands before, and that’s worked for you, start there.  Don’t try to rush yourself, think of something pleasant, look at porn, whatever and go slowly.  So once you’re feeling turned on, start fingering yourself or massaging your clit and then incorporate the vibrator.  Also, there’s no reason to start by fucking yourself with it, make use of the vibration.  Tease yourself with it, trace around your clit, all over your pussy, whatever works for you.  And then, work on inserting it. Start slowly, with the vibration off, and as you get comfortable, try dialing the vibrator speed up from there so you’re not overwhelming.  That way you’re focused on the pleasure, and can see what is causing you the discomfort.  If you go slowly, you’re more likely to find the point you’re having trouble with.

Finally, as a warning, make sure to take good care of your toys! Always wash them after use, and check that if they’re the kind that is rubber material, that they don’t have any tears or things like that.  This collects bacteria, and can cause infection, which you do not want.  Some vibrators are only sold as novelty, and thus, no one cares if they meet safety standards, so make sure you’re not using something inside of you that you shouldn’t be.

-teagan.

P.S.

crazedanddonfused said: Also if you’re having problems with being turned on enough before using it, you can get some water-based lube online, or free at a health clinic (or in Spencer’s!) to help.

Hi there! Both my girlfriend and I, are virgins. We plan on giving each other our virginity and we talk about it a lot (I’m 17, she’s 18) I told her I would definitely eat her out because I’m comfortable with that and I want to please her also. I just have one question, is it sanitary? We’re both very clean people who haven’t had any sexual contact with anyone but ourselves whilst masturbating. I heard you’re suppose to wash your face after or not get cum on your face because of diseases? Help?

It’s absolutely sanitary! And, no, you’re not going to get an STD from having cum on your face or from not washing your face after sex…

If your partner has an STD or another communicable disease then you’ll get it from engaging in any form of unprotected sex – oral or intercourse. It has nothing to do with you leaving cum on your face for too long or something, haha.

Don’t worry about it. Just wipe it off with the back of your hand or on her thighs or her stomach or even the sheets, and keep on going! It would actually be incredibly insulting/rude if you just left right after eating her out to wash your face… Sex gets messy and good sex is even messier! Enjoy it!

On the flip side, semen actually contains properties that are really good for your skin! Weird but true…

well i know its kinda a weird question.. but can i loose my virginity if i masturbate even if i masturbate like roughly?

It’s all in how you define your virginity. If you mean having your hymen torn/stretched, then yeah, you could lose your “virginity” that way. But really? The only way you stop being a virgin is after you have sex with another person.

There are stricter rules on this in other cultures, I’m aware. Being a virgin is even defined as being an “unmarried/single woman”! The primary definition remains though, which is: a person who has never had sexual intercourse.

Don’t worry so much about the whole “am I virgin if I do this/am I not?” etc. There’s no point in dissecting this “grey” area and getting to a point where you’re saying “well, I’m half a virgin!” (thank you Mean Girls).

When you have sex with someone else for the first time, then you are no longer a virgin. But the label isn’t important, okay? People place far too much stock in the whole concept of “virginity”.

So I’m 21 and currently living in California to study, me and this guy has been dating and he asked me if I was a virgin, I told him that I first had sex when I was 15. He seemed very shocked at this and later that week he broke up with me. And there’s been rumours that I’m a whore fatet that. However the age of sex is 15 in Sweden, was it wrong of me to lose my virginity that young?

That’s ridiculous! 15 is young, but certainly not unusual. I don’t know what his problem was. Be glad you’re rid of him because he’s obviously an asshole. I don’t even understand how rumors got started because of THAT. It’s so absurd… He clearly has some issues and they have NOTHING to do with you.

No, it was not wrong of you to have sex when you were 15. As long as it was your choice and it was what you wanted. I do think it’s on the young side and I always advise people to wait a little longer, but you did nothing wrong! Don’t for one second feel ashamed just because some uptight dickwad tried to put you down. It’s your life and your choice and it certainly does not mean that you’re a “whore” or any of that BULLSHIT. You had sex when you were 15. SO WHAT? Who cares? You’re 21 now. It’s all in the past.

You did nothing wrong so please don’t ever let people like that guy (or anyone else) make you feel like you did. They have no right to judge you and you shouldn’t give a shit about what they think (because what they think doesn’t matter).

YOU matter. What YOU think matters. That’s all you have to worry about: you.

I am 21 and a virgin and I am not stupid and I know when I have sex it will hurt the first time, but I was curious how badly does it it hurt?

It varies for everyone. It really depends on how much your hymen has been stretched already. If you play(ed) sports, horseback ride, use tampons, masturbate with penetration, all or any of those things would impact your hymen. So you could experience some pain to no pain at all.

Unless you have a rare medical condition, it shouldn’t hurt much at all. (Ie. If you have an imperforate hymen, that would make it very painful, but the condition only occurs in about 2% of the female population and you would know by now if you have that.)

The stretching of your vaginal walls takes some getting used to if you’re not using tampons or masturbating with penetration. That’s what makes it the most uncomfortable and it will probably take 2 or 3 times for you to really enjoy sex because your body needs time to adjust to the intrusion and expand itself the way it knows how to do.

The best way to make your first time the least painful, most enjoyable, is to do a HELL of a lot of foreplay, be soaking wet/aroused, and have an orgasm before any penetration occurs. Have your partner eat you out, or masturbate, or even hump them until you come. After an orgasm, your vaginal walls naturally widen and your muscles relax so it’s much easier for you to enjoy.

You could also have your partner finger you gently until you can feel yourself opening up and start experiencing pleasure.

If you’re tense, nervous, bracing yourself, clenching your muscles, that will only make it hurt more. Do it right. Relax. Take your time. Enjoy every moment that leads up to it because foreplay at this stage is far more important than the actual act of intercourse. Don’t worry about pain because it won’t be anything like you’re thinking.

My boyfriend ate me out for the first time today and i could feel i was really close but i just couldnt cum…. What should i do to help that happen….?

Deep breathing and relax, let your mind go. That’s the best advice I can give. Plus, it was your first time where he did that so it’s only natural that you were perhaps a bit nervous and tense because of that.