Tag: digits

Even if I’m really wet, it still hurts when he puts it in sometimes. What helps with this? If it’s arrousal, I don’t really know anything about what arrousal. I’m really tight like It hurts just puting a finger in me. I guess lots of advice with penetration would help

Is he going slow or rushing? You need to have a lot of foreplay, a lot of fooling around and kissing and touching before trying it. And even then, you have to go slow, ease in, let your body adjust to it. The more often you do it, the easier it gets, but you have to let your body adjust – he can’t just ram into you before you’re ready especially when your body is very new to this.

Are you sure you’re wet enough? Try using a water based lube and see if that makes a difference. Also, if you’re worried or nervous about the penetration – that works against you. It’ll make you tighter and dry. Try to relax, lie down comfortably, kiss and touch and have him rub circles around your clit for a little until you’re soaking wet and then he can slowly push a finger in and test it out. He shouldn’t be jamming them in and immediately trying to fuck you.

There was a post on tumblr I saw recently that said girls enjoy fingering when “you know the difference between summoning a genie and stuffing a chicken”. So accurate.

Your body needs to relax in order to open up more to the intrusion. Have you tried oral sex? Having him go down on you? That’s one of the best things to make penetration more pleasurable for you – if he can get you to orgasm BEFORE penetration, the contractions from your orgasm will naturally open your channel and you’ll be well aroused and ready for him. Even if you don’t orgasm through oral, the oral still helps a lot because that pleasure will help your body relax, open, lubricate itself with your arousal, and make you ready for penetration. Send him down there and let it happen! Oral is gold.

If none of this works then I would say it’s time to see a doctor because it’s possible there may be some health issue going on or an obstruction that’s causing you pain. (If you can use a tampon without pain, then there’s no obstruction.)

The point is, sex should not hurt. So keep asking why and don’t ever just accept things the way they are. You will figure it out and you will experience pleasure, just keep looking for different answers/ways because sex does not and should not hurt (unless you want it to, but that’s a whole ‘nother thing).

Okay I have a huge question hope you can help, so I’m going on a date to watch the stars, and he wants to finger me in his car and wants me to make the first move. I have never go fingered before How would I do that and turn him on we will be in the back seat of his car any advice you can give would help a lot ~b

You’ve done a lot of planning for this date, lol! Talking is good! It’s really not as complicated as you think. If he wants you to make the first move you can take his hand (when you’re wet and ready after you’ve been making out for a while) and put it between your legs. Boom! First move made and he can take it from there.

I’m sure you already know how to turn him on. Kiss a lot. A LOT. Use your hands, let them roam. Grab his hair, clutch at his back and his arms, touch his neck, straddle his thigh. To turn him on even more, you can squeeze the inside of his thigh or even massage his crotch through his pants. Whatever you feel comfortable with. He’ll love any kind of intimate touch from you.

It’s not like it’s going to be a surprise for him, you guys have talked about it. No need to worry about reactions or rejection. You’re on the same page! Enjoy your date under the stars!

Hi, I’m sorry for this really weird question…Okay so I am a virgin, and I have a new boyfriend and he’s been like rubbing me (’cause I don’t want his fingers in my yet). It feels fantastic, and I get super wet, but he always asks me if I have cum yet, and I don’t know? Sometimes I just say yes because I think he is tired, or I say no because I want him to keep going. But how do I know if i came?

You’ll know. And don’t lie about orgasming – you’ll give him the wrong idea about what works for you and he’ll develop terrible habits and it’ll kill your sex life. Plus, honesty = best policy. Don’t let him pressure you to say you’ve orgasmed just cause he’s tired. If he’s tired, then okay, it’s not going to happen that time. Just enjoy the pleasure and work up to it. (You can also take turns with each other so it gives him a break and some pleasure then you can ask him to touch you again and keep going.) Just don’t lie to him to appease him!

You will know when you’ve had an orgasm. You haven’t had one yet.

My guy will not go down on me. It makes me feel disgusting. He won’t even try it. I know it’s not because I smell because I’m all about being clean and making sure I’m clean before entering the bedroom. My vagina also looks totally normal. I just don’t get it. He says he doesn’t really like fingering either, but can tolerate it.

DUMP. THAT. DOUCHEBAG. ASSHOLE.

I’m not joking. Dump him now. Call him and tell him to go fuck himself.

No one should make you feel that way. You are NOT disgusting. If he has a problem with sex (yes, fingering and oral are indeed a vital aspect of sex as a whole) then why the hell would you want to waste another single, solitary, second on some asshole who doesn’t know what the fuck he’s doing and treating you like shit because of it?

He’ll “tolerate” fingering? How about tolerating your boot up his ass? Cause that’s what he deserves for being such a stupid, selfish, prick.

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I have never fingered myself befor but i want to, but im to sceard my hole will be to small?

Okay, if it’s your first time you’re going to want to go slowly but I can assure you that you won’t have any problems with being too small — especially for your own fingers. 

The trick is to make sure that you’re aroused, so you can fully enjoy what you’re doing.  So, take your time. Watch some porn, lay in bed and tease yourself — your breasts, your clit, whatever works.  You don’t have to rush yourself along and just shove your fingers inside yourself.  That isn’t really pleasant for anyone.

So, once you’re feeling nice and relaxed and probably very wet from all the teasing you’ve been doing, then start fingering yourself.  You can start with one finger and go slowly, building up from there.  Just explore yourself a bit and really enjoy what you’re doing.  If you’re wet, you shouldn’t have any problems with putting your fingers inside of yourself.  (Hell, if you’re too nervous to get wet on your own, use some lube which you can buy from basically anywhere to help get you into the mood).

See what works for you, though.  One finger. Two fingers. Whatever.  Switch up the angles, or the speed, and see what really turns you on.  In no time, you should be able to find out what really turns you on and build on it from there.  There’s plenty of time to explore what feels good, and there is literally no right way to masturbate, so have fun with it!

-teagan.

so me and my boyfriend have been doing “hand” stuff, and whenever he really gets going, it starts to hurt a LOT.& not a hot type of hurt. like OUCH STOP hurt. and i dont know why. so, every time we “hook up” he gets off and I don’t because I always make him stop and I’m left feeling like I put in a bunch of effort for nothing returned. I’m still a virgin, so maybe its the fact that my cherry hasn’t been popped? i dont even know if it has been or not… idk what to do. i feel so unsatisfied.

Do you masturbate? Does it hurt when you use your fingers on yourself?

If the answer to the latter is “no”, then he’s doing it wrong. You need to work with him and take control, tell him what to do, what feels good, because he is obviously not experienced and doesn’t understand what he’s doing.

A lot of younger, inexperienced guys think they can just ram their fingers away, but that’s the opposite of what you want. Start off with him just rubbing through your underwear. Get yourself really wet and worked up just from that. Hump his hand. Don’t even go for penetration. Work on making that step feel really good. Then you can work up to having him massage you with skin on skin contact. If you’re finally starting to get what you need from that, have him use lube and ONE finger to slowly, gently go inside you, while focusing more on the clit.

You need to be the one to teach him what you like. It’s not fair that the amount of sexual satisfaction is unbalanced, you have every right to be just as satisfied as him, but for girls, we have to open up and take more control over the situation because you cannot leave it up to your boyfriend to know how to do it.

If he doesn’t try harder and listen to you when you tell him what you like, then that’s a serious problem and you may want to rethink your relationship with him. Unfortunately, I’ve experienced some real assholes who purposely do a bad job of fingering because they don’t want to put the work in. If they “suck” at it or they hurt you, then you’re not going to keep asking them to do it, right? It’s fucked up, but that is the reality for some people.

Hopefully that’s not the case with your boyfriend. So just try to work with him. It should NOT be hurting like that. So either he’s doing it wrong or there’s a rare possibility you have a medical issue. (I really think he’s just doing it wrong.)

Hey so this is kinda embarrassing but when I finger myself I cannot male it feel good and I dont like it is there something wrong with me??

There’s nothing wrong with you! Focus on your clit and other erogenous areas rather than pumping your fingers in and out of you. Many women don’t even find enjoyment in penetration while masturbating. You have to experiment to find what works for you so don’t give up!

Timing is everything. You should be really wet and aroused before your fingers even think about going inside. You can’t just start off with penetration! You have to work up to it. And if it doesn’t feel good, don’t do it! Find out what YOU like instead of what you think you’re supposed to like.

My boyfriend is planning on fingering me for the first time and I’m really nervous, like I have no idea what to expect or do or anything, could you possibly help? thanks

Fool around a lot before you go anywhere below the waist. Make sure you’re really wet (use lube if you want!).

Have him cut his nails BEFORE anything happens. Seriously.

It will be uncomfortable at first and he needs to do it gently. Your body needs time to adjust to the intrusion. So ask him to go slow, only ONE finger, and take it from there. If it hurts too much, stop and keep kissing, try again later, but he should gently ease into you when you’re really wet and slowly work up the pace.

Only do what you’re comfortable with. If you don’t like it, either stop him altogether or just ask him to do it differently. (Ie, slower, easier, whatever you need.) Don’t be nervous. You’re in control of the situation. You dictate the terms.

You will be sore after the first time, but you’re not going to experience PAIN. If it’s really hurting, then there’s something wrong with what he’s doing or you’re so nervous, you’re not letting your body relax and open up to him. Arousal is a huge factor here! The more aroused you are, the better it will feel.

So fool around, get comfortable, and let him touch you! 🙂

hey! i have a boyfriend and we slept 2 times together and he fingered me several times, but every time i want to cum i have the feeling that i have to pee and i can not relax and this is so embarassing and awkward :(

Okay, well unless you have a weak bladder and have experienced accidentally wetting yourself at your age, then it’s highly unlikely that you’re actually going to pee.

It’s actually a very common sensation when approaching orgasm and often it’s a symptom of the G-Spot orgasm which can also lead to “squirting”. If that happens, a clear liquid (NOT PEE!) would come out.

The only thing you can do is accept the feeling and let it happen! Just give yourself over! You’re not going to pee on him. To give yourself more reassurance, try urinating before doing anything with him, that way you KNOW you have an empty bladder when the feeling comes around again.

Let yourself cum! It’s going to be okay.

So I try fingering myself, and I never find it plessurable, just uncortable

So don’t finger yourself then? Just play with your clit and make sure you’re always REALLY wet. You don’t need to penetrate unless your body asks for it. It’s all about listening to what your body wants rather than doing it the way you think you’re “supposed” to do it.

Find something that makes you feel good. Forget about porn. Forget about what other people say. Do it your own way. Hump your hand. Hump a pillow. Rub your clit through your underwear. Anything you want. Find a way to make it feel good for yourself. Penetration is entirely unnecessary.