Find your inner alpha and make that girlfriend your bitch.
It’s really a base animalistic instinct. You need to be possessive. Take control. Let go of your inhibitions. Allow yourself to say things that might feel like they’d be embarrassing now, but in the heat of the moment, they’re anything but.
Here’s the thing: you need to be yourself. It’s not about playing a role, it’s about tapping into the more verbal and dominating side of yourself. All the things you think when you’re having sex – you have to find a way to SAY them. It’s a weird transition because we’re generally used to keeping those thoughts to ourselves, but gets easier the more you do it.
If you over-think it, it’s gonna sound really cheesy. You can’t plan out a script – it has to come from what you’re feeling. Give yourself permission to do that!
It has to come from you and not what you think she wants to hear. You’re not going to enjoy it if you’re just desperately guessing at what she might want. Trust me, you have the side of yourself she’s looking for, you just have to let it out. Take cues from her at first. What does she say/do when you have sex? Start there and see where it takes you. You’ll find your own way that works for you.
Another place to start? Possessiveness is where it’s at. Outside the bedroom, it’s unacceptable and unhealthy. That’s your relationship. In the bedroom? IT’S FUCKING HOT. That’s about sex.
Everything about her is YOURS and you tell her that, make your claim, dominate her, order her to do things to you, tell her what a little whore she is for loving it, etc. Describing what you want, what she looks like, what you want her do, all of that can be a crazy sexy turn on. The language is up to you. You can call her a slut, whore, bitch, cunt, etc. But it’s up to you to choose what really gets you going. Which words do you feel most comfortable using? For example, if saying “cunt” makes you cringe, don’t say it. Just find another word.
Examples: “Fuck, you’re such a little bitch, you love it when I do this to you”. “Ah, yeah, you fucking whore, you want it harder? You’re dripping all over me, you slut, you can’t get enough of me.”
Dominate her, manhandle her, make her feel like the control is out of her hands and she’s just yours to play with. Get her to masturbate in front of you. Put her on her hands and knees and spank her. Grab her hair. Hold her down. Make her beg to cum. Make her beg for anything. Engage her by getting her talk as well. Make her tell you what she wants you to do, demand it, get her to repeat filthy stuff about herself. Ie. “Tell me what a whore you are! Say it! A little cum slut who wants to lick my pussy clean”. Tell her she’s your fucking whore and you’re gonna do whatever the fuck you want with her. Use her. She’s YOURS.
It’s not the “degrading” part that she really wants, exactly, it’s the loss of control. Loss of control can be really exciting and freeing. That’s exactly what you need to be when you have sex – free – uninhibited, not in control of your feelings, your body, just letting everything go. That’s when things get wild, rough, angry, crazy, amazing. It’s all about getting to let go – getting to feel something and do things that you would never want “outside of the bedroom”.
Don’t worry about being campy. She’s not evaluating you like a term paper and correcting your grammar. It’s just letting the jumble of words and feelings and thoughts come out without thinking about it. When you’re in the heat of the moment, it all sounds fucking hot as hell.
(Tip: Establish a safe word. You probably think you don’t need one, and maybe you’ll never have to use it, but it’s ALWAYS good to have that back up. That way neither person is unclear about if/when things cross a line. It’s kind of like bungee jumping – you’re in a free fall, but you still get to have that safety cord around your legs to stop you from hitting the ground.)
Sumptuous Daydreams 