It’s hard to imagine what your life will be like when you’ve spent two years building a life around one person. It’s a shock to the system, really. Everything’s suddenly changed and now what are you supposed to do? You had plans, they were supposed to be there with you, and now that’s all dust. It’s not easy, it’s never easy, but it IS manageable.
Time heals all wounds. I know it’s cliche, but it’s true. You need more time and you need to start finding (more) ways to move her out of your life. You may not see her anymore (if you do, you have to find a way to limit that), but I’m willing to bet you still have reminders of her around. Get rid of them. Put away the pictures, the tshirts, delete the songs you listened to together – ones that remind you of her, delete/block her from any social media forums so you don’t feel tempted to “creep”. Remove her from your life and eventually her presence in your mind and your heart will start to fade. I know that sounds awful and you probably don’t even want that to happen, but it needs to happen and you know that. You won’t forget her or what you shared; you just need to make her less of constant presence in your mind and in your heart. The pain will start to lessen.
It takes time and everyone processes it differently. You may not be able to see a relationship in the future right now and that’s okay. Don’t think about relationships. Think about friends. Think about meeting new people. Don’t put the pressure on finding love, intimacy, and commitment. That will happen again someday when you meet the right person and it will just click for you. Sometimes it takes meeting someone new to truly realize that it is possible to move on. You WILL find love again, but only when you want to. And that will happen eventually as well. Don’t force yourself to make it happen. Live your life, try to be open, and someone will come along and surprise you. You can’t close yourself off – it’s hard not to do, but if you’re aware of it, you can control it.
The first step is removing her from your life in every way you can, just so that you can start to truly accept that it’s over – no matter how painful that may be, it’s going to help you in the long run.
Then you’re going to spend time with your friends and your family and you’re not going to worry about finding someone. You’re going to surround yourself with love and support and have fun. Meeting people doesn’t have to mean dating them. Just make friends. Take baby steps. I promise, when you’re ready, it will all come together. Just focus on yourself now – find you again. Figure out who you are without her. This is your time.
You will love again. It just takes time and (contrary to Cosmo’s “dating rules” blegh) there is no set time to get over someone. You will move on when you are ready to move on. Accept that it will happen somehow, someday in the future and then forget about it. Set all thoughts of dating and romance aside. You don’t need it right now. Focus on your life and what you want to accomplish. Life takes us on some very strange journeys. We never know where we’re going to end up and that’s the best part. 😉 Enjoy it.
Sumptuous Daydreams 