Tag: body

To be honest, I’m really scared to have sex with my girlfriend. I’m really self conscious about my genitals. My labia is CRAZY uneven. Sometimes I personally enjoy it, but I get scared that she’ll get freaked out by it. I’ve had sex before but it was meaningless and I was drunk. Any advice to get over the anxiety and fear?

Pussy confidence. You gotta find yours.

Longer labia means more sexual pleasure for you so OF COURSE you enjoy it. Tell your girlfriend that you feel insecure about it. Be honest and let her know how you’re feeling. She’ll understand and she’ll reassure you that she’s not at all freaked out. There’s nothing to be freaked out about! Everyone’s pussy looks different. If she knows you’re feeling weird about it, then it’ll won’t be the awkward “pink elephant in the room”…or awkward pink vagina in the room…

Just come clean, be honest about your insecurities, and realize that there’s nothing weird about your pussy! You like it! So everyone else should too! If they don’t, then you’re not dating the right people! Best thing to do is lay your feelings out on the table so there’s no doubts, but always remember that YOU have to accept yourself first before anyone else can.

So find your pussy confidence.

I am 21 and a virgin and I am not stupid and I know when I have sex it will hurt the first time, but I was curious how badly does it it hurt?

It varies for everyone. It really depends on how much your hymen has been stretched already. If you play(ed) sports, horseback ride, use tampons, masturbate with penetration, all or any of those things would impact your hymen. So you could experience some pain to no pain at all.

Unless you have a rare medical condition, it shouldn’t hurt much at all. (Ie. If you have an imperforate hymen, that would make it very painful, but the condition only occurs in about 2% of the female population and you would know by now if you have that.)

The stretching of your vaginal walls takes some getting used to if you’re not using tampons or masturbating with penetration. That’s what makes it the most uncomfortable and it will probably take 2 or 3 times for you to really enjoy sex because your body needs time to adjust to the intrusion and expand itself the way it knows how to do.

The best way to make your first time the least painful, most enjoyable, is to do a HELL of a lot of foreplay, be soaking wet/aroused, and have an orgasm before any penetration occurs. Have your partner eat you out, or masturbate, or even hump them until you come. After an orgasm, your vaginal walls naturally widen and your muscles relax so it’s much easier for you to enjoy.

You could also have your partner finger you gently until you can feel yourself opening up and start experiencing pleasure.

If you’re tense, nervous, bracing yourself, clenching your muscles, that will only make it hurt more. Do it right. Relax. Take your time. Enjoy every moment that leads up to it because foreplay at this stage is far more important than the actual act of intercourse. Don’t worry about pain because it won’t be anything like you’re thinking.

I have kind of a strange question. Is having dark hair around the nipple really strange for a girl? It’s so so so embarrassing and I always try to trim it short but it’s a real knock on my self-esteem :(

About 30% of women have nipple hair simply due to genetics. So it’s not strange at all.

Trimming or tweezing are your best options. Never shave – the area is way too sensitive, you’ll easily cut yourself. It often causes more hair growth and makes the area darker. It’s not abnormal, I promise, but it is a pain to maintain. Don’t be ashamed of it. Everyone has something going on. Nipple hair, inverted nipples, birthmarks, dark spots, hairy asses, whatever! Everyone has something so do not think you’re alone in this and that you have something strange.

That dork Tyler Posey on Teen Wolf talks about how he has to trim his nipple hair all the time. Guys have it too! Just genetics.

i didn’t bleed in my first time is that normal?

Yep! It’s becoming increasingly normal for girls to already have their hymen stretched and torn early on in life from sports, exercise, tampons, masturbating, etc. You probably had a little spotting at some point when you were younger and never questioned what it was, maybe brushing it off as something related to your period, when in fact, it was a slight tearing of your hymen.

No big deal! (And, yes, you were still a virgin when you had sex. Some people still ask that question, unfortunately, so I’m making it very clear: bleeding, or lack thereof, does not define a woman’s virginity.)

Is it normal to actually be really petrified of having sex because of crippling inadequacy issues? I’m only 5.5 inches long and past partners have said I’m too small, so now whenever I have sex I spend most of the time worrying about whether she’s actually enjoying it or not. I know about using my hands and mouth, I love doing that, but once we actually have sex I just get really self-conscious and worried and my own inadequacy issues really start playing up on me. : /

Is it easier for guys with a larger penis to give women pleasure during intercourse simply because of their size/girth? Yes.

Are guys who are smaller/average incapable of giving a woman the same amount of pleasure as a more endowed guy during intercourse? NO.

First off, you’re not inadequate. You’re not unusually small. You’re perfectly average! The only thing that makes it different is that you have to work a little harder and think a little more about using your cock right to make a woman feel it in all the right places. Should that make you freak out? NOOOOOO!

It’s just about being a conscientious lover. Talk to her. Ask her what feels good. Try different things. WORK. YOUR. HIPS. Try different positions. (I suggested a few below that are geared towards allowing for deeper penetration.) Open and honest communication with your partner is guaranteed to improve your sex life and make you the best lover she’s ever had. Size doesn’t do that. Love, intimacy, openness, communication, eagerness – all of those things are what makes sex as amazing as possible.

You just have to own it. Own your cock. Fuck your girl. Have the hottest sex ever. Don’t let something like size get in your way. Besides, it’s not even length that really means anything, it’s width/girth that makes the difference.

Confidence in bed is one of the best things you can have. I guarantee you that she’s not thinking “he’s too small”, instead she’s probably wondering why you’ve suddenly gotten really shy and you’re not as enthusiastic as you were when you were eating her out 5 mins ago. That will be the part that frustrates her. Not the fact that you’re 5 1/2 inches because I’m telling you – that’s the average size of men across the world!

It would also help to change your mindset about foreplay. Don’t just consider it “all that stuff I have to do before sex actually happens” – foreplay is a PART of sex. It’s all tied together. You’re not just going through the motions before you get to the “good part” where you get to stick it in her. That kind of thinking is going to be a major downfall for you. Kissing, petting, fingering, oral – all of it is part of having sex, not just a prelude. And foreplay is ESSENTIAL. The more foreplay, the better the sex.

Any past partner that told you that you’re too small is an asshole and she should go fuck herself. Don’t listen to that bullshit. When did she say that? ‘Cause that sounds like something a pissed off ex would say to screw with your head. Don’t let bitches like that affect your self-confidence. The best thing you can do is keep learning new things, listen to your partner, experiment, and you’ll be a better lover for it.

Plus side to being 5.5? You’re gonna get many more partners willing to deepthroat which will feel awesome for you and you can hold that over other guys who can’t get it. There are benefits and downfalls to both, no one has it all!

Tips:

– Get her to orgasm at least once before penetration. Knowing that she’s already climaxed will make you feel more confident and help you with any performance anxiety. Oral or fingers or both, doesn’t matter, just get her off.

– Try different positions. It’s all about the angle. If you hit the right angle, it makes all the difference in the world.

– Doggy style:

1) Her ass should be in the air with her head and shoulders comfortably relaxed on a pillow. So not on all fours, okay? Face should be on the bed! For the most effective angle, have her arch her back and her thighs should be together. It’s easy, simple, and feels really good. Also, lean forward during, maintain as much physical contact as you can comfortably manage. Constant contact and physical stimulation of the rest of her body makes makes it more intimate and does wonders for a woman’s sexual pleasure.

2) Both of you kneeling on the floor, leaning over your couch or something of the same. Open her legs from behind and enter. This position is fun because her hands are free to touch herself if she wants. Fucking from behind is a bit of a power trip so, if you want to spice it up and try some things, maybe do some light spanking or role-play. (Always clear it with her before anything happens!)

– Missionary: Put a pillow under her ass and have her feet rest on your chest or shoulders. Deep penetration and great G-Spot stimulation. It’s hard for women to keep that position when things start to get crazy so try using your own arms to hold her knees in place; one arm in the crook of her knee before you brace your hand on the bed.

– Snake: Flip it around. Have her lie flat on her belly with her legs closed. Put a pillow under her hips so her ass is raised. Bend your knees, straddle her hips while staying upright. Spread her thighs just enough to allow penetration and slide on in! Don’t put your weight on her during, if you feel like you need to brace yourself against something, bend forward until you’re able to touch the bed, but don’t fall on her. A tight fit feels great for both so hold her thighs together while you’re fucking.

Keep experimenting! Encourage your partner to tell you what she likes the best and you can keep working off that. The more you know about what works, the better the sex will be.

The size of your penis does not dictate whether or not you’re good in bed. Cross my heart! So no more of that inadequacy bullshit. You have some new things to try. So go get it done! 😉

If i fingered myself for the first time, would i bleed? Like does that ‘pop the cherry’?

Watch this video.

You cannot “pop your cherry”. It’s a grossly incorrect term. (By ‘grossly’ I mean both gross and huge.) Your hymen is probably already stretched or torn enough from other normal, everyday activities that using your fingers wouldn’t be enough to cause bleeding. It is possible though.

Just watch the video.

What is a vagina suppose to smell and taste like? Some people say fishy but I’m not really sure…

Ack! Okay, well, there’s no one smell to a vagina. It just smells like pussy. That’s it. Pussy. Everyone’s pussy is unique so there’s going to be something a little different about everyone’s smell.

The typical description is slightly musky. But it changes depending on whether you just got out of the shower, you’re on your period, after sex, etc. There’s different smells for all of them.

The only time the “fishy” smell comes into play is when there’s a build up of bacteria. If that’s strong, see a doctor ASAP, because you likely have a bacterial or yeast infection. If there’s ever a really strong scent emanating from down there, it’s a sign that there’s a problem. Everyone’s pussy has a smell at some time or another, it’s normal, but it just should never be overpowering.

Pussy doesn’t smell bad. It doesn’t smell like roses either. It’s just pussy. There’s nothing else like it! 😉

i was wondering if sex is different with a guy uncircumcised? Does it feel differently?

Honestly, you really can’t tell the difference when he’s in you. It’s a centimeter of extra skin. That’s it! The only time you’re really going to notice it is when you’re sucking/jerking him off and that’s because you’re up close and personal. The foreskin actually gets pulled back when he has an erection anyway so it’s not until you’re finished that it really becomes noticeable.

As for the difference in sex…it depends on the GUY! Not his dick. If the guy is terrible in bed then it doesn’t matter whether or not he’s circumcised! It makes no difference. Circumcised/uncircumcised, it’s still about his knowledge of the female body and experience with sex. That’s what will make it feel differently.

As a side note, uncircumcised men are actually more sensitive down there! They have more nerves and derive more pleasure from little things that circumcised men wouldn’t even feel. Fun!

There have actually been studies done that show that uncircumcised men make better lovers. The theory is that because their penis is more sensitive (the head), they are actually able to be more in tune with what women like. It’s a theory! It’s not proven. Just throwing it out there for you. I personally don’t believe it. I’ve heard too many different accounts of experiences with uncircumcised men (good/bad) that make me believe it really does come down to the guy and what he does with it.

I am a lesbian and a virgin and I don’t shave ‘down there.’ will this be a problem when I do have sex? Also when I’ve tried to shave it just itches.

I suggest you wax. If shaving is annoying for you, (well, shaving is annoying for everyone) then make an appointment to get waxed. You don’t need to be BALD down there. That’s a matter of personal preference, of course, but you do need to be well groomed.

It’s necessary, whether male or female, for you to maintain what’s happening down there. (Boys: trimming is an absolute requirement – don’t be lazy, it’s gross and annoys your partners!) If you want a full bush, that’s great, but it still means shaping and trimming to a certain extent. Even with a full bush, it doesn’t mean you can let everything grow totally wild.

I’m going to be totally honest with you, it IS a turn off when everything is just a wild mess down there. Keep it neat. Waxing is the best option. Shaving is second best (see here for tips on shaving). There’s always going to be a little bit of itching when it grows back, but the more you do it, the less it affects you.

My advice is that you definitely need to do some form of maintenance down there before you have sex. It’s just polite, really. What exactly you want to do and how much, is entirely up to you!