Tag: body

Hello I’m a 21 year old girl and every time I have sex my vagina starts out fine and well naturally lubricated but usually about 20 minutes it dries up and isn’t wet anymore and I don’t know why, what is happening?

A few things come to mind as possible causes:

1) You might just not be into it! Yep. It could be that easy. The sex sucks, you stop being excited, you stop being wet. A guy gets hard because he’s aroused. A girl gets wet because she’s aroused. If he stops being hard or she stops being wet that means there’s a distinct lack of arousal. That’s how it works. You get turned on at first, but it seems like your interest drops off once you start having sex. How is the sex? Your arousal ends when actual sex begins so maybe it’s time to evaluate what’s going on. It could just be the simple fact that the sex isn’t good and you need to change it up or find a partner that actually “does it” for you.

2a) Dehydration. Believe it or not, drinking more water (especially when you’re NOT thirsty – key!) could solve your problem. Dehydration is a common issue for people that they don’t even notice because unless it’s SEVERE, the symptoms are mild and usually brushed off as normal.

2b) Your diet! Are you eating healthy diet with lots of fruits and veggies, or are you a meat and starch person? Lower the amount of high cholesterol foods, increase fruits and veggies and drink more water. The cleaner, healthier diet keeps all of your parts moving and your sex life benefits too! Take vitamins, especially zinc which helps with lubrication.

3) Do you think about sex in general? Does it interest you? Do you daydream about sex with celebrities, etc.? Do you masturbate? Do you stay wet while you masturbate? If yes, that would indicate that you are interested in sex, but you’re not interested in sex with whoever it is you’re having sex with. This could be a sign of the person/relationship being the problem – not you.

4) Anxiety is the natural enemy of sexual pleasure. Are you feeling stress or dealing with other matters at work life, school, family, that would be enough to be affecting your sex life?

5) Are you taking any medications? Lots of medicines can cause vaginal dryness as a side effect.

Look, female arousal takes more time than male arousal, so foreplay is crucial. Try focusing on “warming up” more than the penetrative act in sex.

The inner channel of the vagina is not the most sensitive area for a woman and 15 minutes of senseless thrusting into a relatively numb area is not going to keep you going. It’s not gonna do it for any woman! Inevitably, you dry up because it’s not feeling good for you and then you start getting sore, which makes everything 10x worse. The idea is to utilize all the other pleasure zones you have WHILE being penetrated. Also, oral sex as foreplay helps out hugely because if done right, you can be right right on the cusp of coming, dripping wet, before any penetration even occurs! Perfect!

Just to cover all my bases, other factors that could affect arousal and lubrication are hormone levels, sleep, and lack of exercise.

Hope this helps!

is it possible that i dont have a clitoris. I looked in the mirror and pulled up my clitoral hood and didnt see a button-like piece of skin. and if i touch it I dont feel any pleasure.

I’m sure anything is possible? But it’s really…really…really…REALLY unlikely that you have a massive birth defect like that. You would have had surgeries and been told…etc.

Point is, the clitoris is not an instant pleasure button that you can poke once and orgasm because of it. (Hell, our lives would be so fucking nice if that was true…) It doesn’t really look like a “button” – it’s a pinkish/reddish nubbin?

Try getting in the mood and when you’re wet/aroused/super turned on  – try playing with your clit (or where you think it should be). Try touching it lightly in circles, see what happens! Also, it swells when you’re sexually aroused so it becomes more prominent and you’ll be able to see it more easily then.

Another picture to help you out…

hey! what do you think about seeing a gynaecologist? I’m kind of scared of them…I didn’t have a really good experience with one last year but I feel I’d like to talk with a professional

It’s always going to be a little weird, awkward, uncomfortable. Of course it is! You’re in a scratchy gown, sitting on paper, with your feet in stirrups and your vagina wide open – feeling the breeze – lol. But you get used to it and it is really important to have regular check ups with your gynecologist.

The thing you have to remember is that it’s weird for YOU, but to your doctor, it’s just another day. Another vagina out of the THOUSANDS that they’ve seen over the years. It’s like seeing an arm at that point, it’s so NORMAL to them.

Ask your friends or your mom or your general practitioner to recommend a gynecologist for you. It’s always better to go off a recommendation to find someone.

Find someone you like, someone you feel confident that they know what they’re doing, find someone you trust, and stick with them. It’s the same thing as finding a regular doctor, you have to try a few to eventually find someone who clicks with you.

It’s something really important so you can’t ignore it.

My boyfriend and i were having sex and he had sped up and happened to slip out of my vagina and the tip of his dick slipped into my anus. Its bleeding, not a lot, and it hurts. Is there anything i should do or just give it time?

Well, first, I have to admit that I find it unlikely that it was an “accident”. I mean, it is possibly for that to happen accidentally, but very unlikely, especially since it was such a well aimed “slip” that made you bleed… It sounds like a guy trying to pass off what he did as an “accident” when, really, he was going for it.

I don’t know this for certain, I wasn’t there, and I’m not saying an accident is impossible, but the skeptic in me really questions this. You should think a little more about what happened and consider whether or not you need to have a discussion with your boyfriend about experimentation and realize that there could be a MAJOR consent issue here.

Secondly, the rough entry without proper lubrication and foreplay undoubtedly caused some anal fissures (tearing) and that’s why there’s bleeding. It should heal on its own, could take a week for it to heal fully, but if you continue to experience significant bleeding/pain after 24 hours, see a doctor.

my boyfriend prefers we have sex in dimmed lights, but I’m kinda, well actually really shy about letting him see me down there… I feel like I’m “unattractive” or that I have an “ugly” vagina… lol he tries making me feel better by complimenting me

I’ve said this before, but men are visual creatures. That’s why they like sex with the lights on. Seeing what’s in front of them is the biggest turn on for them, it lights up all those neurons.

Women prefer tactile sensations over visual stimulation. That’s why they like sex with the lights off. There’s a sense of privacy, intimacy, AND it’s a great way to cover up insecurities. So they feel more relaxed and actually safe that way.

Here’s the thing, you should be able to have sex without the lights on sometimes so compromise. Agree to sometimes have them on, sometimes off. It’s a way to change it up anyway.

But the most important thing here is that you need to start realizing that this guy WANTS to have sex with you and he WANTS to see you when he has sex with you. That should tell you something right there about what he thinks of you. He thinks you’re hot, he wants to fuck you and watch you while he fucks you. HE WANTS TO SEE YOU. Why would he want that if he thought you were unattractive or that you had an “ugly” vagina? That’s bullshit by the way, no vagina looks like a perfect rose, it’s a vagina. It’s awesome just the way it is. Appreciate all the pleasure it brings you (and loathe it for all the pain as well…).

I guarantee you that if he thought you were unattractive or turned off by how you look (anywhere), he wouldn’t want the lights on at all. It’s a vagina!  He’s happy to get his hands on it and his dick in it. It’s really that simple. EMBRACE IT.

I have a boyfriend who I love to death, we are soulmates mentally and emotionally, I feel like we were meant to be together, and I think he’s absolutely adorable, but I get nervous of other people judging me for dating him. I’ve been told I’m out of his league, because he doesn’t meet the stereotypical standard of ‘hot’…he’s very short, but I am too so it’s ok, and he’s a little chubby, and people tell me I can do way better. I love him but it’s off-putting to hear that from friends. Help?

If you love him and you want to be with him, who cares what anyone else thinks? Do YOU think you deserve a “hotter” guy? Do you wanna trade him in for a six foot something dude with a six pack? If you do, that’s your prerogative.

But you say you love your boyfriend and if you love him, in your eyes, he should be the most gorgeous person you’ve ever seen. Flaws or no. We all have flaws, but love really is blind. When you’re in love, you don’t see the physical flaws, you see the beauty.

You say you want to be with him, then be with him, and don’t let naysayers tell you otherwise. I guarantee most of them have never been in love or have found someone like you have. They don’t understand because they’ve never been there. What does it matter if they’re judging? You found something they don’t have! But I think they’re getting to you because, deep down, you believe it too.

I think you see yourself as out of his league…and that’s a huge problem. Because, deep down, you think you’re better than him. Your relationship is doomed if that’s the case. If you are embarrassed to be with him because of his looks, you’re not soulmates and you’re certainly not meant to be together. So own up to what you TRULY feel and figure it out. You want to let your friends convince you that you deserve someone hotter, go ahead. Who cares what his personality is like or if you have a connection with him? At least he’ll be a physical match for you and that’s what matters right, how you look standing next to each other?

By the way, I’m pretty sure your boyfriend has a much harder time with his insecurity about being with you since you’re apparently so “out of his league” that even YOU think it’s true. You might want to stop being so self absorbed for a minute and think about how it might be affecting him. You know…cause you supposedly love him and all that.

I am dating this guy since a couple of weeks. Last night I went down on him and omg he is huge! I have been dating a few guys in the past, but he is way bigger! Will it be able to fit in? It barely fits my mouth!

Your vagina is bigger than your mouth. Remember, we can push human beings the size of a football through there. He’ll fit. Just take it really slow, lots of lubrication, and let your body adjust. ENJOY!

Every time my boyfriend and I are about to have sex he isn’t hard. I tried hand jobs and blowing him..but it doesn’t work. Idk what to think or do anymore and this already happened twice..

Twice? How many times have you tried it and it’s worked?

If it’s seriously impacting your sex life then you do need to talk to him. It’s his issue. Something is going on with him. Whether it’s physical or mental, I don’t know. But it’s not you, I promise. Physical stimulation produces an automatic, involuntary response in men so if he’s not reacting to that then there’s definitely something wrong. ED is a super sensitive topic with men, it’s basically calling into question their masculinity and purpose as a man – all society based concepts that are so ridiculous and unfair to men. It is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesn’t mean they’re any less of a man just because they’re having an issue.

85% of the causes of ED are attributed to physical issues that can be resolved! You just need to see a doctor about it. If it’s not physical, the most common psychological factors are depression, anxiety, and stress. Do you notice him going through anything recently, acting differently than he usually does. Because that could be it right there.

He likely feels really embarrassed about this (which he shouldn’t) and he might try to avoid discussing it so you’ll have to push a little bit. Try to be as compassionate as possible and talk about it candidly with him. It’s affecting your sex life, so something has to be done. You guys need to have a real conversation. If you don’t, it’s the pink elephant in the room, and it’s going to get so awkward and uncomfortable that you guys will end up going your separate ways.

It’s not an easy thing to address. Just remember compassion, don’t be condescending or blame him for anything. He can’t help it and neither can you. Confront it together, as a team, instead of putting it all on him with an attitude of “why can’t you do this?”

If it happens once or twice, that’s nothing to worry about. If it’s more than that, then there’s a cause for concern. TALK!