I’ve been really interesting in masturbating recently (I’m a girl) but I just can’t seem to get wet. And on the rare occasion that I do get wet, I can’t make myself cum unless I’m humping a pillow. Any advice on how to get wet?

It seems like you’re overthinking it, trying to force your arousal. Let it happen more naturally, slowly. If you’re feeling horny, let your mind wander a bit – think about things that turn you on. Daydream a bit. Maybe scroll through a sexy tumblr ;). Read some smut/erotica. Watch some porn if that appeals to you. Let your body settle into a state of arousal before you set out to go from 0-100 and masturbate instantly!

Put yourself in an atmosphere that’s quiet and relaxing. Turn on some music, low, if that’s something you like. You want to feel safe and comfortable, without fear of interruption (if you can). Try taking a soothing bath to relax you. Think of it as a slow ease into arousal.

It’s all about your frame of mind. If you’re feeling relaxed, comfortable, and you have time to just close your eyes and daydream about whatever it is that turns you on, that will do the trick. If your head is kind of cluttered that day and you need that extra boost, porn – whether read or watched – can help.

Don’t force it. Don’t overthink. Let your body take its time and react naturally to whatever stimulation is provided. Also, nothing wrong with humping a pillow, but you can check my sex advice tags for more tips on masturbating if you want.

I was experimental with sex in relationships before the one I’m in, but my current boyfriend dislikes experimenting in bed, even though I’ve been slow and encouraging with him. I can enjoy most anything, if it makes my partner feel good, but he only likes missionary, or me on top (occasionally). I’ve had conversations with him, even tried to introduce new things, but he’s just not interested. I’d like to enjoy the ones that turn me on the most, but he is balking at all attempts. HELP!

If it’s not his thing, then it’s not his thing.

Some people are very specific and narrow in what they enjoy and that’s okay! Problem is: it’s not satisfying you. Unfortunately, it doesn’t sound like you guys are sexually compatible. It happens all the time. If he’s not interested in the things that excite you and fulfill you sexually then you have a decision to make.

You’ve discussed it with him, given him the information about what you want/like/need, but they’re not things that HE is into. No one is in the wrong here. You’re just not compatible at that level and you should be with someone who is. You’ll find them. 🙂

PSA…

Tumblr Safe Mode
Basically a big fucking mess.

Safe Mode (according to Tumblr @staff)
“filters sensitive content in your dashboard and your search results”

So far everything from a blog that is self proclaimed “explicit” has been/will be blocked. Like mine! Tumblr claims they will be changing this going forward and instead filter on a post by post basis. (Spoiler alert: this is going to continue to be a mess.)

IF YOU WANT TO SEE THIS BLOG’S CONTENT (AND MANY OTHERS), TURN OFF SAFE MODE.

How?

If you’re on the web or an Android device: Go to your account settings and flip the Safe Mode switch.

If you’re on iOS: Go to your phone’s Settings app, tap “Tumblr,” and you’ll see the Safe Mode settings down at the bottom.

You’ll have to turn it off for each device you use (ie. phone, ipad, laptop, etc.)

(If you’re under 18 you won’t be able to turn off safe mode.)