rnaiamitch said: I disagree that someone can’t be biromantic, I mean, I can have strong feelings for someone and want to kiss them, and do things people would do in a relationship— but not want to have sex. That’s like saying asexuals don’t exist.
I didn’t say they couldn’t be biromantic. I said that I don’t like labels. It’s too specific and unnecessary. What applies for one person does not always apply to another. That’s why I think it’s unreasonable to have them. I mean it feels like one day it’s gonna be “Hi! I’m a homosexual bi-romantic, occasionally pansexual, but slightly asexual, previously thought to be cis but now soon to be trans female! How about you?”
I really don’t like labels. You can’t put everything into a box. You can be attracted to guys without wanting to have sex with them. There’s such a broad and intricate spectrum of sexuality that it’s ludicrous to think that you can identify and label each person’s individual sexual desires.
And I especially don’t like the label “homosexual biromantic” because it’s just another way of saying you have strong feelings for someone that aren’t sexual. Gee. What’s another word for that? FRIENDS! Enough with the labels, just feel what you want to feel, have sex with who you want to have sex with, and be with who you want to be with.
It’s making us 10000x more neurotic as a society to hurriedly try and slap a label on everyone and put them in a box to categorize us by sexuality and that’s absurd. You can’t sort the entire human race like we’re a box of chocolates.
STOP TRYING TO DEFINE YOUR SEXUALITY. IT’S NOT IMPORTANT. THE PEOPLE YOU LOVE, WHOEVER AND WHATEVER GENDER THEY ARE, ARE THE IMPORTANT ONES. OKAY!?
Respect comes from being upfront and honest. Respect her enough to be honest with her about what you want. It’s how you handle it AFTERWARDS that is the biggest thing.
Ask her to go down on you or ask her why she doesn’t seem to want to go down on you. Direct it on yourself, “I feel” “it makes me feel” “I could be totally wrong…” etc. Just don’t accuse her of something. Tell her how you’re perceiving the situation, which is that you think she’s uncomfortable with it.
Then you’re going to have a conversation about it. If she feels uncomfortable, respect that, and try to get her to explain why, and you guys can try to work on it. Maybe she doesn’t even realize that you feel like you’re not getting enough of it in return! Maybe you’ve been so obliging in the beginning because she was a virgin that she now thinks you DON’T want it as much as she does. We don’t know what goes on in other people’s heads! We can guess all we want, but the best chance we have is to just ASK THEM. Hopefully they’ll be honest with you in return.
It’s a conversation you need to have. You can’t try subliminal messaging to make her want to lick your pussy or bend over in front of her face and wag your ass to say “EAT IT!”. It’s the equivalent of a guy trying to push a girl’s head down to suck his dick. It’s insulting and not at all subtle.
Anyone who treats you like that and talks to you like that, doesn’t even deserve to kiss the ground you walk on. Tell him to fuck off and find someone who’s actually deserving of you.
Orgasms are like snowflakes. No one orgasm is the exact replica of another. They’re all unique; each and every one. So, yes, it’s absolutely normal. Different ways of getting there, different experiences, different orgasms.