I’ve read your advice saying “you’ll know” on female orgasms. I’ve been masturbating regularly for a year and even started using a vibrator. I’m still not getting there. It feels great, but I read & see what it feels like and that’s not what I reach. Like with most sex questions, I want to know if this is “normal.” Do I need to just keep at it? Go longer? Any tips? Thank you, and I love your blog!

Yes, it’s pretty common. Some women take a long time to figure out how to orgasm during masturbation and/or sex. It takes time, practice, and you learn even more about your body when you start having sex so that actually helps you when you masturbate.

Just keep trying. And try new things.

sorry I need help, my mum walked in on me wanking is there a protocol for this? I mean I’m 16 and she didn’t even knock on the door, so it wasn’t really my fault but I am just so embarrassed I never want to leave my room again what do I do?

lol. Don’t worry. It’s embarrassing but that’s it. Just pretend like it never happened. She won’t bring it up. You won’t mention it. It’ll be like nothing happened. Don’t worry, it’s just one of those things, it’s normal, life goes on. 🙂

my boyfriend prefers we have sex in dimmed lights, but I’m kinda, well actually really shy about letting him see me down there… I feel like I’m “unattractive” or that I have an “ugly” vagina… lol he tries making me feel better by complimenting me

I’ve said this before, but men are visual creatures. That’s why they like sex with the lights on. Seeing what’s in front of them is the biggest turn on for them, it lights up all those neurons.

Women prefer tactile sensations over visual stimulation. That’s why they like sex with the lights off. There’s a sense of privacy, intimacy, AND it’s a great way to cover up insecurities. So they feel more relaxed and actually safe that way.

Here’s the thing, you should be able to have sex without the lights on sometimes so compromise. Agree to sometimes have them on, sometimes off. It’s a way to change it up anyway.

But the most important thing here is that you need to start realizing that this guy WANTS to have sex with you and he WANTS to see you when he has sex with you. That should tell you something right there about what he thinks of you. He thinks you’re hot, he wants to fuck you and watch you while he fucks you. HE WANTS TO SEE YOU. Why would he want that if he thought you were unattractive or that you had an “ugly” vagina? That’s bullshit by the way, no vagina looks like a perfect rose, it’s a vagina. It’s awesome just the way it is. Appreciate all the pleasure it brings you (and loathe it for all the pain as well…).

I guarantee you that if he thought you were unattractive or turned off by how you look (anywhere), he wouldn’t want the lights on at all. It’s a vagina!  He’s happy to get his hands on it and his dick in it. It’s really that simple. EMBRACE IT.

I need help. So im a senior in hs l and theres this girl (also a senior) shes constantly asking if she could eat me. trust me I want to say yes but always end up saying no *she has a gf*. What do I do? Should I tell her to drop it or do a one & done?

On the one hand, morality, the other hand, getting laid…

I don’t know why you’re asking me. You know the score. Did you want me to give you permission and then you could justify it that way? Sorry. I won’t.

The “morally correct” decision is to say no because she’s with someone else and a) why do you want attention from a lying, cheating, bitch? b) it would be out of respect for the other person involved who would get hurt because of something you participated in, regardless of whether or not you know her.

But, hey, we all want to have sex and get our own needs taken care of. If there’s casualties…well, you can tell yourself it’s not your problem because she’s the one doing something wrong, not you. You have no loyalty to her girlfriend that she’s cheating on. So, why not go for it? It’s not your problem, right?

If it was me, I would probably be so turned off by the fact that she’s a lying, manipulative, cheater, that I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with her. But that’s me. Honestly, if you were my friend, I wouldn’t approve of you doing it, but I also wouldn’t think you’re a “bad person” for doing it either. It’s easy to say “this is wrong”, but there are worse things in the world. If you want sex with her that badly, then it’s up to you.

Just make a choice you can live with.

I really appreciate your blog. I am a girl and I come from a strict Christian home and my parents don’t talk about sex. I mean they talk about safe sex and such, but as far actually sex and stuff they don’t. I had so many questions that no one could answer for me, and your blog did. I just wanted to let you know that.