I have an on nd off relationship w/a guy for 3years now nd he was my first kiss and etc. nd farthest we went was him just grabbing my ass inside my pants nd I’m virgin he isn’t but then there is this girl I been talkin to sexually but idk who to pick

Why do you have to pick? You’re not in a relationship with either of them. Don’t make a commitment until you’re sure of who you want to be with. Be honest with both of them and do not mislead them into thinking they’re the only person you’re seeing. Spend more time with them and see who comes out better.

It’s not about sex at this point, it’s about who you actually enjoy spending time with.

Every time I’m in a relationship with a guy or hooking up with guys, I always think about having sex with girls. Every time I’m in a relationship with a girl or hooking up with girls I always think about having sex with guys. I’m so confused. I enjoy sex no matter what but I’m just so confused as to why it seems as if I’m never fully satisfied… Help please!!

Does it affect your relationships that you think about sex with the other gender? To the point where you don’t want to be with that person anymore? Or you feel guilty like you’re cheating on them?

I don’t think it’s necessarily a BAD thing that you have a crossover. We all have fantasies. Besides, you enjoy sex with both genders. So maybe it’s a masculine energy that comes out when you’re having sex with guys and a feminine energy that comes out with girls. You seem to be switching roles in terms of domination or really just “who’s on top”. It simply manifests in those kinds of sexual thoughts. Here’s the hard question: Do you just THINK about having sex with a guy when you’re with a girl or do you WANT to have sex with another guy?

You say you’re enjoying it, so what’s the problem? Maybe it’s just a turn on for you to think about guys when you’re with a girl and vice versa? The only time a problem comes in is if you actually WANT to have sex with someone other than the person you’re with. Thinking/fantasizing is one thing, actually wanting to follow through with it is another. Also, are you thinking about specific people in your life when you do it? Ie. Do you think about your ex girlfriend when you’re with your current boyfriend? That would be problematic.

A vague idea of men/women or celebrities or the girl you saw in the coffee shop yesterday is very different than fantasizing about sex with people you’re close to or were close to. It turns into an emotional connect and not a physical connect.

Do you truly feel like you’re not fully satisfied or are you assuming that there must be something wrong because you think this way?

hi, my bf and I have been together for about 3 years now, and when we first had sex it was outdoors. we kept doing things in public places coz it was a turn on for both of us and now its not for me but hes still into it. my libido has dropped a lot as well and I feel like our sex life has died because of me even though we regularly give oral to each other, and he fingers me and stuff… is there any way of increasing sex drive again? :/

First, it’s not unusual to experience this. It’s a common factor with women because much more goes into our sex drive than just hormones. For men, it’s more common to just have a “plumbing issue”, but for women, it’s more complicated. Decreased libido comes down to two things: external factors or a decline/conflict in the relationship.

By external factors, I mean are you taking any new medication, do you have any health issues going on, are you sleeping enough, are you experiencing more stress than usual, are you anxious/depressed, etc.

If you’re not experiencing the “external factors” then it might be time to look at your relationship. Are you getting bored? Are you guys still on the same page as you were a year ago or two years ago? After 3 years you’ve reached the point where you have to decide is this going to be a lifer or is it starting to fizzle out?

You say you’re still going outside often to have sex, but it’s not doing anything for you. Well, change that! Do something different. Be more spontaneous. Try different positions (get a book on sex positions and see which ones interest you then TRY them – try them all! lol). Use toys. Roleplay. Have sex on the washing machine during the spin cycle! lol. You get where I’m going with this.

You need to think about what sexually excites you and go for it. Pushing through the boredom and the sexual rut you’re in is the only way to break out of it and start something new that will get your sex drive going again. You know what to expect now. It’s the same thing each time. You’ve been with him for years, it happens. You do the same things over and over and it’s boring. How can you possibly get excited about that? So change it up!

If it’s not working, no matter how well rested you are, well adjusted you are, or how many different things you try…then perhaps you’ll have to consider a deeper reason going on that’s causing your lack of sexual interest. Maybe this is your body telling you what your mind isn’t ready to accept – that it isn’t working with him anymore. Not just sex, but all of it.

I’m a straight girl, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him so much! I don’t consider myself ‘bi’ at all, because I would never want to date a girl. But I prefer sex with girls.. is this normal?

Why don’t you want to date a girl? What puts you off about it? Sex with them, sure, but not dating. Why?

If you enjoy having sex with girls, then you’re not straight. So just get that out of your head right now.

I guess you need to consider what it is you prefer so much about having sex with woman and compare it to what’s missing from your sex life with your boyfriend. What is it that you get from women that you’re not getting with him? Is it just the gender difference or is it something specifically that happens with women and not him? Do you get more aroused with girls? Is he less sexually experienced than the girls you’ve been with? Do you have a more intense sexual connection with girls than you do with him? Were the girls you’ve been with just simply better at identifying your needs and satisfying you than he is?

These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. And it comes down to this: do you think he will ever (even with communication and more practice) be able to sexually satisfy and fulfill you the way you’ve been with other women?

I know you love him, but is he really fulfilling all your needs in the relationship? Obviously not because you’re here telling me you prefer sex with girls after a year of dating him. From my perspective, it seems like you’re holding onto the identity of being straight because the idea of ACTUALLY being bisexual, or even gay, scares the crap out of you. You can’t envision what that would be like because you don’t want to envision it. In your head, you’ve decided that if you just have sex with women then it doesn’t count and you’re still officially straight because you’re not emotionally connecting with women – therefore no worries! Totally straight.

WRONG. Sorry. Sex counts. Sex counts majorly. Huge. HUGE! It’s kind of the biggest point. Maybe you haven’t met the right girl yet that you want to be in a relationship with, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist.

I think it’s time for a change. You could date another guy, see if that changes your view of sex, or maybe you could just take a shot and date a girl. Just to see what it would be like. You can’t judge it until you’ve experienced it.