When sex becomes a production or performance that is when it loses its value. Be mutual. Be loud. Be clumsy. Make noises, be quiet, and make a mess. Bite, scratch, push, pull, hold, thrust. Remove pressure from the moment. Love the moment. Embrace it. Enjoy your body; enjoy your partners’ body. Produce sweat, be natural, entice your senses, give into pleasure. Bump heads, miss when you kiss, laugh when it happens. Speak words, speak with your body, speak to their soul. Touch their skin, kiss their goose bumps, and play with their hair. Scream, beg, whimper, sigh, let your toes curl, lose yourself. Chase your breath; keep the lights on, watch their eyes when they explode. Forget worrying about extra skin, sizes of parts and things that are meaningless. Save the expectations, take each second as it comes. Smear your make up, mess up your hair, rid your masculinity, and lose your ego. Detonate together, collapse together, and melt into each other.

Should I be scared of a guy (I’m a woman) who has a serial killer fantasy fetish/kink??? We’re both into s&m but I don’t know how I feel about the whole serial killer thing. Like how does that work? I feel like I shouldn’t take it lightly.

Wellllllllll….he could just be a really big fan of Dexter?

Or he could be a violent psychopath that you need to run the fuck away from as fast as humanly possible.

Go with your gut.

(GET OUT.)

I’m a 16 y/o girl. I can’t figure out if I’m bi or lesbian. I know I shouldn’t worry about labels, but I’m a teenager and labels are kind of our thing. Additionally, I’m terrified to come out to my conservative friends and family as lesbian to later have them think I’m “cured” if I end up with a guy. How can I sort this out? I like kissing guys but touching anything below their waist grosses me out. I’m definitely attracted to girls though. Please don’t blow me off, I don’t know who to talk to.

Even if you’re a teenager, why not be a mature teenager and tell everyone to fuck off? 😉

You’re keeping your options open right now. You like girls, you may or may not also like guys. Date people! Figure out what’s right for you.

You’re only 16. You do NOT need to have it all figured out by now. Please, name one freaking 16 year old that has their life completely sorted out? It’s a myth! People will pressure you, sure, but they’re WRONG to do that. You need to remember that and remind them of it as well. Some people discover certainty in their sexuality earlier than others, but there are so many people who won’t feel that way until they’re in their 20s or even 30s! There’s no rush.

This is your time to explore and find out who you are and what you like. If anyone has a problem with that, tell them to grow up. You like people. You want to date PEOPLE. Bisexual, lesbian, it doesn’t matter. You’re open to experiences. If they can’t understand that, that’s their problem. It’s YOUR life.

Don’t let the pressures of friends and family make you feel like you have to define who you are before you’re ready. Be strong. Stand up for yourself. Just because you’re a teenager, that doesn’t mean that you have to do what everyone else does – even if it feels that way. You have options, you can make different choices for yourself that’s not going to be what you see everyone else doing.

They’ll probably be dismissive of you and say you’re going through a phase and that you’ll end up realizing you’re straight after all. That’s okay. Who cares? You gave them fair warning! Just let them think what they need to think and focus on yourself. Don’t let anyone push you into a corner and demand that you define your sexual interests before you even get out of the starting gate.

You’ve barely entered this stage of your life! Who knows what the future will bring? Get ready to enjoy the ride and don’t let anyone strong arm you into slapping a label on yourself until YOU are certain of the one you want.

Hello I’m a 21 year old girl and every time I have sex my vagina starts out fine and well naturally lubricated but usually about 20 minutes it dries up and isn’t wet anymore and I don’t know why, what is happening?

A few things come to mind as possible causes:

1) You might just not be into it! Yep. It could be that easy. The sex sucks, you stop being excited, you stop being wet. A guy gets hard because he’s aroused. A girl gets wet because she’s aroused. If he stops being hard or she stops being wet that means there’s a distinct lack of arousal. That’s how it works. You get turned on at first, but it seems like your interest drops off once you start having sex. How is the sex? Your arousal ends when actual sex begins so maybe it’s time to evaluate what’s going on. It could just be the simple fact that the sex isn’t good and you need to change it up or find a partner that actually “does it” for you.

2a) Dehydration. Believe it or not, drinking more water (especially when you’re NOT thirsty – key!) could solve your problem. Dehydration is a common issue for people that they don’t even notice because unless it’s SEVERE, the symptoms are mild and usually brushed off as normal.

2b) Your diet! Are you eating healthy diet with lots of fruits and veggies, or are you a meat and starch person? Lower the amount of high cholesterol foods, increase fruits and veggies and drink more water. The cleaner, healthier diet keeps all of your parts moving and your sex life benefits too! Take vitamins, especially zinc which helps with lubrication.

3) Do you think about sex in general? Does it interest you? Do you daydream about sex with celebrities, etc.? Do you masturbate? Do you stay wet while you masturbate? If yes, that would indicate that you are interested in sex, but you’re not interested in sex with whoever it is you’re having sex with. This could be a sign of the person/relationship being the problem – not you.

4) Anxiety is the natural enemy of sexual pleasure. Are you feeling stress or dealing with other matters at work life, school, family, that would be enough to be affecting your sex life?

5) Are you taking any medications? Lots of medicines can cause vaginal dryness as a side effect.

Look, female arousal takes more time than male arousal, so foreplay is crucial. Try focusing on “warming up” more than the penetrative act in sex.

The inner channel of the vagina is not the most sensitive area for a woman and 15 minutes of senseless thrusting into a relatively numb area is not going to keep you going. It’s not gonna do it for any woman! Inevitably, you dry up because it’s not feeling good for you and then you start getting sore, which makes everything 10x worse. The idea is to utilize all the other pleasure zones you have WHILE being penetrated. Also, oral sex as foreplay helps out hugely because if done right, you can be right right on the cusp of coming, dripping wet, before any penetration even occurs! Perfect!

Just to cover all my bases, other factors that could affect arousal and lubrication are hormone levels, sleep, and lack of exercise.

Hope this helps!

One: Buy condoms. Buy them and keep them with you at all times, and use them before you are asked to use them. And use them every time. The peace of mind you allow your partner will free her to be vulnerable with you, and that, my son, is exactly what sex is about. Condoms are sexy. In fact, call buying condoms foreplay.
(Footnote: If you are too embarrassed to buy condoms, you are not ready to have sex.)

Two: Kissing is not merely foreplay. Spend entire evenings making out on the couch while fully clothed. Believe me, dry-humping rocks.

Three: Sex is not just about friction. It’s about emotion. Stop trying to find her clitoris and find her heart. Because then she’ll help you find her clitoris.

Four: If you really wanna know how to please a woman, ask her how she masturbates. Then do that. A lot. If she claims she doesn’t masturbate, offer to take her shopping for a vibrator so you can both learn the vocabulary of her body together.

Five: Don’t put anything in her butthole you wouldn’t want in your own.
(Footnote: Try a pinky finger, it’s kinda awesome.)

Six: When you go down on her—and you will go down on her, and if you are my son, you will be amazing at it—tell her how good she tastes. Stop in the middle and kiss her deeply so she knows how good she tastes. Do the same when she goes down on you.

Seven: A simple Google search will yield 1,327 euphemisms for male masturbation, yet only 23 for female masturbation. If guys spent less time jacking off and more time jilling off, this world would be a happier place.

Eight: Everything you need to know about the importance of the clitoris is in the movie Star Wars. You are Luke Skywalker piloting your penis-shaped X-Wing Fighter deep inside her trench. Remember: seventy percent of all Death Stars cannot be blown up through penetration of the trench alone. It must be through focused contact with that little exhaust port at the top of the trench. Otherwise, any explosions you experience will be merely Hollywood special effects.

Nine: Just because you come doesn’t mean she has, so don’t you dare come before her. Focus completely on your partner. Don’t worry about gettin’ yours, you’re a guy. You always get yours. Your job is to make sure she’s gettin’ hers.

Ten: If sex with your partner lasts no longer than this poem, you are not making love. You are masturbating with her body instead of your hand. Shame on you. Go back to step one. You’ve got a lot of learning to do.
Love, Dad.

Big Poppa E., “How To Make Love”  (via dorkvader)

i feel like this should be published and sold everywhere

(via the-hammer-of-fenris)

THIS OMG

(via archangel-abdiel)

How can I tell if my girl is somewhat attracted to girls? I ask her once in a while and she always say no I’m not a lesbian but that doesn’t mean she can’t be attracted to girls?

Dude…SHUT UP. She’s not there to fulfill your perverted girl on girl fetish. She’s dating you. Why don’t you focus on that and give up the stupid ass dream where she’ll randomly walk up and ask you for a threesome with another hot girl because sometimes she might be into girls, but only enough to be attracted to them, not enough to be bisexual or *gasp* gay because then that would invalidate her entire relationship with you.

Just shut up. Stop asking her that shit. What is wrong with you?

Me and my gf (lesbians) I’m 18 shes 17 well we’ve been dating for a while now and I recently started going down on her, well I want to know if I’m doing it right and if you have any tips. When I do do it she moans and her legs shake and she grinds her hips against my tongue is this all a good sign? Any advice would be great (: thanks!

At this point, I feel like you guys are just messing with me…

I’m a female, engaged to a man, but can’t stop having sexual thoughts about one of my female interns (who I think is straight). I’ve never been with a girl before, but I’m curious to know what it’s like. What’s it all mean? How would I even approach this girl to have sex with me?

I’d start with not being engaged to anyone before you try anything with the intern…

I am a man that is madly in love with a former lesbian, not really BI, because she only had sex with1male, but that was her 1st and was 13 yrs ago. Do to her religious views she has decided not to follow her desires 4 other woman, and 2 make a great effort 2 change. I have been there 4 her mostly patiently for the last year and 1/2 while she is going thru this sometimes difficult journey of change. I truly love her for her, not because of what she is trying to be. Is there hope 4 us B 1

I have just one word for you:

Delusional.

Who are the blonde and red headed lesbians that are in many of your gifs? My girlfriend looks like the red headed one but we’ve been trying to get her name so I can show her!btw love the blog

Usually I don’t answer these questions because it’s going to flood my inbox with questions about every single person in my gifs and I don’t know the names of even half.

TO ALL MY FOLLOWERS: DO NOT TAKE ME ANSWERING THIS QUESTION AS PERMISSION TO ASK ABOUT NAMES AND SOURCES. THE RULE STILL STANDS. THIS IS A RARE EXCEPTION.

I’m not 100% sure who you’re talking about, but Elle Alexandra is a redhead and she’s been in a lot of my gifs. Hope that helps!