Author: sumptuousdaydreams

I haven’t had sex in ages and I’m really missing the feeling of playing around and having sex, but I never see my boyfriend because he and I live a thousand miles away from each other. I nearly had sex with one of my friends earlier today because I was feeling so horny but I stopped myself, I don’t know what to do :(

Long distance relationships suck. That’s just the basic truth. There’s nothing fun about them. Unfortunately, sometimes that’s what we have to go through when we really care about someone.

First, you need to talk to your boyfriend about what you’re going through. I guarantee he’s feeling the same. You both want to stay faithful, but yes, you still have sexual needs. Is monogamy absolutely what you want? Do you want to give each other a “pass”? Would you be interested in being “monogamish”?  It’s a discussion to have. And if you choose to go that route, set clear rules and parameters for you both.

If monogamy is your choice, then you have to step it up. Skype sex, phone sex, naughty texts, getting as much intimate one-on-one time during visits, etc. Make those moments count so that when you feel yourself getting antsy, you won’t look for the nearest body to help you out. Instead, you’ll want to go home, call him up, and let him help you take care of yourself.

Also, invest in a very, very good vibrator. Hell, get several of them. Couldn’t hurt! You want to be able to do what you need to do on your end to make sure you’re not totally depriving yourself of sexual gratification. That’s just not helping anyone!

Try to keep yourself busy with friends, family and loved ones. Keep an active social life to take your mind off being away from your boyfriend and the lack of sex. And, if this is really what you want, STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE YOU DON’T TRUST YOURSELF AROUND. Otherwise, you know exactly the kind of temptation you’re putting in front of you and you know there’s a reason why you’re doing it… Why put yourself in those situations when you want to be faithful to your guy? Questions to ask yourself…

Join a club. Go to the gym. Take spin classes. I don’t know! Anything to keep you active and busy.

The real question here is, did you reach that point with your friend just because you were horny or because there’s something else going on? Do you feel like you’re drifting apart from your boyfriend? Are you lonely? Because situations like that are not about the lack of sex. Going through long dry spells are manageable (they’re not fun, but they are manageable). So when “almost” mistakes like that occur, it’s about something much more than being horny. Maybe you’re rethinking the commitment you made? It’s okay if you are. You’re allowed to decide that this relationship isn’t working for you anymore. That’s life. So don’t guilt trip yourself about it if that’s the case.

Think it over. Talk to your boyfriend. Make some changes in your relationship that will help prevent something like that near-miss from happening again. Long distance is rough and it means making a lot of sacrifices. Sometimes the sacrifice is more than worth it. Sometimes it’s not. What is it for you?

What is a vagina suppose to smell and taste like? Some people say fishy but I’m not really sure…

Ack! Okay, well, there’s no one smell to a vagina. It just smells like pussy. That’s it. Pussy. Everyone’s pussy is unique so there’s going to be something a little different about everyone’s smell.

The typical description is slightly musky. But it changes depending on whether you just got out of the shower, you’re on your period, after sex, etc. There’s different smells for all of them.

The only time the “fishy” smell comes into play is when there’s a build up of bacteria. If that’s strong, see a doctor ASAP, because you likely have a bacterial or yeast infection. If there’s ever a really strong scent emanating from down there, it’s a sign that there’s a problem. Everyone’s pussy has a smell at some time or another, it’s normal, but it just should never be overpowering.

Pussy doesn’t smell bad. It doesn’t smell like roses either. It’s just pussy. There’s nothing else like it! 😉

hi, i’ve been going out with my man for two years and i’m still a virgin. and he respects that. i’ve never masturbated. case is, these past two months, he’s been opening up a whole new world literally. i gave my first blowjob. it wasn’t as bad as it seemed. and he tried to go down on me but i just wasn’t feeling anything. maybe i was too nervous? and a couple nights ago, we tried to have sex. but it just hurt. ALOT. so i told him to stop, and we didn’t. any tips, recommendations?! PLEASE!

One, please try masturbating. Masturbating is a big part of a healthy sex life. It’s the best way to learn about your body and what you like. You need to know what makes you feel good, before he can try to make you feel good.You can’t go into sex expecting your partner to know everything and be able to give you the maximum amount of pleasure possible – it just doesn’t work like that. So touch yourself, play with yourself, see what happens! It’ll make your first time better, trust me.

Yes, you were probably too nervous when he went down on you. Try, try, try again! Practice makes perfect. (Rhythm and circles are your life.) Help him out, lead him in the right directions. COMMUNICATE. But in order for him to please you, you have to know what you need. That’s where masturbating comes in! You’ll learn a great deal more about yourself that would take 10x longer to learn with a partner. You’ll figure out that small things things like breathing deeply and focusing will allow the pleasure to start building. It doesn’t just happen for women the way it happens for men. We have to focus, they don’t have to focus like we do. Of course there are exceptions to this, but on average, they don’t have to put much effort into getting a hard on or shooting their load (compared to women).

As for your first blow job, congrats! Put a trophy on the shelf 😉 You’ve been together for 2 years now, so exploring this new aspect of your relationship is new and exciting! Have fun with it and each other.

Before even thinking about sex, foreplay is a MUST so you should focus on trying to master that before attempting sex (again). That means blow jobs, hand jobs. have him finger you (GENTLY), have him go down on you, etc. All this foreplay will actually help you so much when it comes to intercourse.

The more you play with each other and find out those little spots and kinks that really turn you on…the better your sex life will be! You need to wade into the pool instead of just plunging in all at once. Take it slow, step by step. You don’t need to jump from first blow job to full on intercourse!

The next time you two try again, try to have an orgasm first. So…lots and lots and lots of foreplay. I really can’t stress that enough. You need to be soaking wet and fully aroused before even attempting anything. This will help minimize the amount of discomfort you experience during your first few times.
Boys, take note please, foreplay is essential to a woman’s pleasure. I know it’s sometimes agonizing for you because you just wanna skip right to it because you’re ready and eager and dying for her, but this is what your partner needs for it to be just as enjoyable! Of course, there’s exceptions for quickies, but do not ignore the value of foreplay, please!
If you orgasm first (whether through him fingering you or going down on you), your body will relax, be fully aroused, and well prepared for him to be inside of you. Read this post for more about the importance of foreplay and how to make your first time as pleasant as possible.
Feeling a small discomfort your first couple of times is normal. If you’re not masturbating or even having him finger you, then you’ll be much tighter and you will likely experience more discomfort than you need to. It should not be terrible, excruciating pain though!
Foreplay, turned on, soaking wet, add lube, and then tell him to go as slow as physically possible and to wait for your go ahead when you feel your body adjust to the intrusion and you’re ready to go for it.
The first time does not have to be the usual missionary position. Try side by side. That position allows for shallow thrusts and you can show him how you want your clit to be touched, guide his hand there! He can alternate between rubbing your clit and playing with your breasts. It’s win/win. If that doesn’t work for you then try other positions until you find one that feels good for both of you!
Take it slow, explore each other, masturbate, be safe, and enjoy yourself. 🙂

I’m a 19 year old girl and I have a boyfriend who I love yet all I can think about when I get horny are other girls. I watch porn and it’s always lesbian porn. I’ve been with 1 girl before (but we didn’t do too much) and it was amazing. I can’t help but have this feeling that I want to be with a girl sexually again. It really turns me on. He knows how I feel and said if I slept with a girl he wouldn’t be mad but there are no girls I know who would do that with me…what should I do?

First off, are you sexually attracted to your boyfriend? I know you said you love him, but that doesn’t mean you’re IN love with him. And if you are attracted to him, are you MORE attracted to girls?

It sounds like you really like your boyfriend, but the fact that you want to sleep with someone else really shows that this relationship may not be the right one for you. It’s the same thing as you wanting to sleep with another guy. It’s still having sex with another PERSON. Would he be okay with you having sex with another guy? I’m going to guess no. He wants monogamy, but in his mind, it doesn’t apply to same-sex, because he thinks another girl can’t compete with him. WRONG. Sleeping with a girl is just like sleeping with a guy, feelings are involved! It’s having sex with someone that is not your significant other – guy or girl makes no difference.

I can’t tell you what to do or what your feelings are for your boyfriend. All I can do is tell you what I would tell any of my friends – if you’re thinking about other people and you want to sleep with other people, then the person you’re in a relationship with might not be the one for you and it might be time to end it.

This isn’t a case of a long distance relationship or long term relationship that needs spicing up (special circumstances) – this is simply you not getting the sexual gratification you need and you’re seriously considering finding it elsewhere. Why be in a relationship at all if you want to fuck someone else? If you’re thinking about other people when you’re with your boyfriend? What’s the point?

If you want to be with a girl, I think you should give yourself the chance. But I wouldn’t advise doing it while you’re in a committed relationship. If you want to explore something different, something that is REALLY calling to you, then you owe it to yourself to do that, just don’t string your boyfriend along with it. It’s not fair to him – even if he thinks it’s okay because I’m pretty sure you know how much it’s NOT okay… Your emotions are already invested in this. Is cheating for you really defined by whether it’s with a man or a woman? Sex is sex.

You’ll eventually find another girl that you want to be with or experiment with. They’ll come along somehow, somewhere, but you have a better chance of finding that when you are not in a relationship.

You’re young! This time of your life is all about exploring new things and discovering yourself. Give yourself the to opportunity to do that. Now is not the time to play it safe. This is your life! Don’t you want to see what’s out there?

Oh well, I can’t add links so I will guide you to a couple articles in Slate , the Daily Beast and the Daily Collegian. It’s like the Loch ness Monster, all the evidence is anecdotal. I have read the same studies and I’m glad you can have one but the majority can’t. You don’t assume everyone has an IQ of 140 when only 1% of the populace has so you adept your communication to the other 99%. I don’t want to start a blog because I suck at PS and can’t possibly preoccupy my mind with sex 24/7.

Well, I’m really glad that you like to get your information from college students and opinion writers – cause they are SO qualified… However, your sole article written by someone with a PhD actually acknowledges the existence of the G-Spot and simply says that there’s still a great deal that we don’t know about it. And I’ve said the same thing in many of my responses to people about the G-Spot.

There is still so much that we don’t know or understand about the female orgasm/female anatomy and how it works because scientists have only recently started studying it with more scrutiny! To claim that you know for certain that it doesn’t exist, just shows how ignorant you are. Anecdotal evidence was all we had for centuries to prove that women could even orgasm at all! Well, we know differently now, don’t we? Or are you going to start disputing that as well?

If you don’t want to start your own blog, fine, just stay away from mine. Because you don’t have a clue what you’re talking about.

To that previous poster I just wanted to say that I’ve ALWAYS had vaginal orgasms. I was honestly out of the loop when I read that ask that I actually had to google “vaginal orgasm exists” because I had no idea that there was a debate about whether or not it does. Its actually easier for me to orgasm that way than clitoral stimulation.

Dude, I’m serious you have got to stop giving pseudo sex advice! First, you tell a teenager she must groom and now you say the vaginal orgasm exists. Have you ever read a book? And how many women do you know orgasm without clitoral stimulation. You haven’t studied sexology so stop pretending to be a scientist. Posting a couple of hot pictures doesn’t make you a sex expert. I will gladly give you titles to read in case you need to educate yourself.

Okay, first, I’ve never claimed to be an expert on ANYTHING. I just made a blog and posted gifs and people started asking me questions. Then they started asking me more questions because they seemed to agree or feel like my answers resonated with them. It’s a personal opinion I give based on MY knowledge which I have never claimed, nor even insinuated, was professional!

Secondly, you need to get off your high horse and maybe crack a book that wasn’t published in the ’70s. Experts are still debating about the existence of the vaginal orgasm, but most have agreed that there are different pathways to a female orgasm. There’s new neurological evidence being introduced that shows two different sensory brain areas that are stimulated during orgasm which suggests that there are two distinct types of female orgasms. Is it absolutely proven? Not yet! But based on my experience, that’s what makes sense to me.

I don’t know why you’re bothering to argue with me about this – people far more educated on the subject than either of us have been debating it for decades. There’s no hardcore evidence either way (yet). I only gave my opinion as to what feels different in terms of orgasm. That’s all!

Also, how do you know she was a teenager? She said she was a virgin. Does that mean she has to be a teenager? And, yes, she should groom! What the hell is wrong with that? It’s body hair maintenance! For the most part, body hair maintenance (shaving your pits, legs, and pubic hair) begins around 12 for girls. Many wait longer when it comes to pubic hair – maybe 15 or 16, but seriously, what do you have against grooming? If she wants to have sex, I’m going to be honest and tell her the reaction she’s going to get if she doesn’t clean up down there! Did you want me to lie?

If people don’t agree with my opinion, then that’s perfectly fine. It’s just an opinion! They ask me questions and I answer with what I know. If you feel more equipped than me to answer questions, then by all means, start your own blog.

I’m not an expert and I have never claimed to be. If you don’t agree with what I say, then ignore me, or offer a different view. It’s that simple.