Author: sumptuousdaydreams

To clear up the question: the problem is that she wants me to talk about sex in detail, frequently, but I would rather have sex with her than talk about it. However, I can’t see her anymore than her parents allow me to and we can’t have sleepovers. Basically..I’m just trying to figure out what my options are in this situation, if you can suggest some.

Can’t you compromise? If she agrees to make more of an effort for you two to get some alone time, you’ll sext with her as often as she wants. I’m sure this isn’t because she doesn’t want to have sex, but rather she’s trying to have SOMETHING since you two aren’t seeing each other as much. This seems to be her way of trying to still keep things going, still staying in touch with you when actually being with you isn’t an option.

When you’re in tough situations like that with parental restrictions, you have to try to make the best of it. It’s not easy being a teenager in a sexual relationship ‘cause parents are a constant twat block, but you have to work around it!

Express to her that you miss being alone together, you miss being with her like that, you miss being able to actually touch her instead of talking about touching her. You miss HER. Don’t make it all about sex, because you know it’s not. It’s about having that physical, tangible intimacy, that satisfaction you get being able to hold her. Sexting can only do so much to hold off your need for that. Explain this to her! Then give her what she wants and just ask her to try to make an effort for you as well (you said you didn’t mind sexting, right?).

She wants to stay in touch with you by having “virtual” sex and you’re frustrated because you want more. Well, sometimes you can’t have more. So try to understand where she’s coming from instead of just saying “why talk about it when we should be finding ways to do it!”. She’s just trying to be with you however she can and your response sounds a little bratty… (No judgment! I get your frustration, but you need to be realistic about your situation.)

Use all and any opportunities you can get for alone time. If the parents are out, in the afternoon when they’re at work, sneak in at night for an “unauthorized” sleepover (and out early in the morning), use a car, etc. I know I probably shouldn’t suggest going against the rules and restrictions your parents/her parents have in place, but…you just want to be with your girl, you’re not hurting anyone, and sneaking around a little bit isn’t the worst thing in the world. Just don’t let it get in the way of your regular responsibilities (school, work, studying, whatever else you have going on).

COMPROMISE. You’re not going to get everything you want at this stage of your life so just make do with what you can and don’t take anything for granted. You’ll get more freedom and independence when you’re older, but for now, make do, and enjoy whatever time you have together.

Hi, I am 16 years old and I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 2 years, we just started having sex and it no longer hurts but it doesn’t exactly feel good. I don’t climax its just kind of there but no pleasure. Any advice? Will it just take time?

It sounds like you need to learn more about what you like and what makes you feel good. You can’t rely on your boyfriend to know how to do that for you. Expecting your partner to somehow be a brilliant sex god and know exactly what to do to please you is entirely unrealistic and pretty much ABSURD when it comes to inexperienced, young partners.

So what can you do? Masturbate. Bring yourself to orgasm. Learn about your body. Once you know what you like and what works for you, bring that information into bed and guide your boyfriend to where you need him to be (that you’ve just newly discovered!).

If the sex isn’t good, then you need to:

A) change something ASAP

B) break up.

Since you’re both very young and you’re new to this, I say go with option A. You need to learn what makes you feel good so start by taking more control and figure out what your body likes. Then you can help your boyfriend understand what you need by leading him through it and encouraging him to do different things that you know works for you (hint: rhythm is your god).

This is a learning experience for you both so experiment with new things, read about different positions to try, work on his staying power (I’m just taking a guess on that one), and masturbate! Whatever you’re doing now isn’t working, so change it.

Your goal is to have each time be better than the last. 🙂

Do you have any advice for female masturbation? I’m frigid I will admit, at least a little… but I would like to learn more to help get over such a thing. Btw, I really appreciate this blog =) ty

First off, don’t ever call yourself frigid. That’s ridiculous and such a degrading thing to say about yourself. Just because you’re apprehensive about sex and/or other acts of intimacy does not mean you’re frigid, cold, a prude, or whatever other misogynistic terms you want to throw out there. You are not required to have sex or engage in sexual acts a single second before you want to! You operate on your own time and your own terms – never let anyone else dictate that for you.

Maybe you’re anxious. Maybe you’re a little wound up and you don’t know how to let yourself relax. Maybe you’re just not ready for sex or having an intimate relationship. Whatever your reasons are, it’s personal, and you have a right to them. IT’S OKAY! You’re not wrong or weird for not having that in your life yet. So don’t call yourself frigid because you’re on a sex blog right now asking me how to masturbate. I’d say that’s pretty much the opposite of frigid! 😉

For masturbation tips, check the sex advice tag and stay tuned… I’m going to try something in a few days and I hope everyone participates!

i didn’t bleed in my first time is that normal?

Yep! It’s becoming increasingly normal for girls to already have their hymen stretched and torn early on in life from sports, exercise, tampons, masturbating, etc. You probably had a little spotting at some point when you were younger and never questioned what it was, maybe brushing it off as something related to your period, when in fact, it was a slight tearing of your hymen.

No big deal! (And, yes, you were still a virgin when you had sex. Some people still ask that question, unfortunately, so I’m making it very clear: bleeding, or lack thereof, does not define a woman’s virginity.)

To the guy who is worried about his 5.5 inch penis: I say you shouldn’t be worried because my sexual partner has the same and I have had the best sex of my life with him. I told him it was all about confidence and that is what did it for me. Go into the bedroom like you have the biggest dick around and work your magic! Also find someone who appreciates you for you and not complain about size. :)

is it okay to crave sex? im sixteen years old and im still a virgin. ive done some stuff with my bf barely this year and i love it but gosh i just want it. but no i know im not ready and am way too young. and i dont want to risk anything. but everytime i see sweet beautiful love making it makes me cry. also i knew how to masterbate at a really really young age. how does that happen?

Your hormones are out of control. You’re horny as hell. Masturbating is a normal part of life.

People who learn about it at a young age often just happened onto it out of luck. You probably figured out that it feels good when you touch yourself there and you kept doing it. I’m betting your Mom had a bit of an embarrassing issue with you and had to tell you to get your hand out of your underwear when you were in public…lol. Don’t be ashamed. We’ve all been through it.

There’s nothing abnormal about craving sex. You have a healthy appetite for sex. It’s a good thing! Now you just need to decide when you think you’re actually ready to act on it. Don’t rush into it! Work your way up to it. See what you feel comfortable with as you take each step.

I’m a college student, and early this year my best friend confessed that she liked me. We had a lot of fun (in and out of bed) and then she left for summer study-abroad. I missed her a lot in the beginning, and we had some interesting skype “sessions”, but now it’s been a few months and I don’t feel the same. She was always more invested in the relationship, and I felt guilty then and now I feel guilty about no longer being attracted to her. Should I let her know, or wait and see in fall?

If waiting to tell her until the fall means stringing her along…then no. Tell her now. It’ll suck, but if you’re not feeling it, you’re not feeling it. She’ll only be more humiliated and hurt if she finds out you’ve been “faking it” for the past few months. Be honest.

But, also, make sure you’re not being too hasty. Long distance messes with your head. Are you absolutely positive that when she comes back, you’re not going to have feelings for her still? Will you regret making the decision to cut things off?

You’re in a tough spot. Honesty is the best advice I can give you, but don’t rush into anything because this is the kind of thing you can’t ever take back.

My boyfriend ate me out today and afterwards I found dark discharge in my panties and I just had my period a week ago.. Later I found a little blood but it stopped quickly just like the discharge I found earlier… Is this normal?

Yes, it’s normal. A little spotting and discharge after menstruation happens. It’s just your body getting rid of extra stuff. Nothing to worry about.