Author: sumptuousdaydreams

I’m a lady 21 years old, and I sort of have a crush on one of my best friends. I have accepted the fact that I’m Bisexual within the past year, and I’m fine with being attracted to her. But the thing it i just want sex. Never a relationship with a woman. She has a boyfriend, has been very touchy on occasions but nothing to suggest that she thinks sexually about me as well, nothing straight to the point to give a definite “i want to fuck you” though. Any thoughts on asking her for sex?

Okay, well, to start with – mixing friendships and sex is never a good idea. Something inevitably goes wrong. So if you really care about your friend and don’t want to jeopardize you relationship with her then I would try to focus this sexual attention elsewhere. If you just want to fuck because you’re attracted to her, that’s not a good enough reason to possibly screw up a relationship with one of your best friends.

You said you’re just starting to come to terms with your sexuality so this is your time to experiment. Don’t do it with your best friend though. Not unless you’re in love with her and you actually want to date her. If you want sex, there are many other girls out there that would be perfect for you explore this new avenue with and not have the ramifications of ruining a friendship.

Right now, you’re not thinking relationships – just your sexual desires – and that’s completely normal for this stage of your life. I don’t think it means that you will NEVER want a relationship with a woman in the future, I think it means that you’re still wading into these waters and your interest is in satisfying the physical side. Besides, you have close friends who are girls. If you get sex with a girl and still have best friends that are girls, you’re essentially meeting all of your needs – just not in one package (yet).

So, my advice, unless you have really strong feelings for your friend and you want a relationship with her, do not mess it up by trying to introduce sex. Especially since she has a boyfriend and hasn’t shown a sexual interest in you.

Look around, see if someone else pops out to you. I guarantee you’ll meet someone else that you’re attracted to with less strings attached than trying to hook up with your best friend. 😉

But, if you want to ignore all of this, I always favor the straightforward approach. Ask her if she’s ever thought about girls before – specifically being with one, tell her you’re bi (if she doesn’t know already), and if she responds positively to these things (if she seems into it) then maybe bring it up as a light joke – “well you’re hot, I would sleep with you!” and see how it’s received.

Test the waters in a very light, jesting way and don’t say anything too serious that you can’t get yourself out of by passing it off as a joke if she’s not interested.

I don’t get excited about sex anymore. I’m a female & when my gf asks me to talk about sex or we have sex, I just don’t feel like it or sometimes I can’t even talk about it. I love her & I think she’s incredibly attractive, so there shouldn’t be an issue. What’s wrong with me?

After being in a relationship for a long period of time, things start to stagnate and become routine – especially when it comes to sex. Both partners have to put a little effort into spicing things up, changing up the routine, get yourself out of the rut. Try having sex outside, someplace semi-public, try out a different toy, a different position, get massage oils, surprise her with a quickie out of the blue. Just anything outside the norm for what you usually do together.

Do you masturbate? Is it your libido that’s waning or is your desire for sex with your girlfriend waning? If you think about having sex with someone else, does that excite you? If yes, then this a relationship issue. You may love her, but you may not be in love with her anymore. Finding her attractive and BEING attracted to her are different things. Sexual attraction often fizzles out in relationships and it’s just not meant to be. Like I said before, if that is the case, try a little harder. Get yourselves out of the rut, try harder to have sex. Often, once you start (even if you weren’t in the mood) you get into it as the foreplay goes on. Sometimes you need a little jumpstart. If that doesn’t work and you’re still masturbating on your own, then this is a relationship you need to really think about.

However! If your answer is no, and sex with anyone or anything sexual doesn’t interest you in the slightest, then maybe this is a libido issue. If you’re not interested in sex, at all, with anyone, then maybe there’s something else going on. A number of things can affect your sex drive. I can’t possibly list them all, but I’ll mention 3 of the most common ones and hopefully this will spark some ideas for you and lead to some introspection.

1) Are you overwhelmed in your life? Has there been a change with work or family that maybe just has your head somewhere else?

2) Do YOU feel attractive? Have you had any changes in your body where you might feel less sexy/less attractive?

3) Are you taking any psychotropic drugs? Ie. antidepressants, mood stabilizers, antipsychotics, benzos…  Those have a HUGE impact on your sex drive. Many of those medications basically erase any sexual urges.

I have never been interested in girls. But, I get really turned on when I see lesbian gifs and things like that. Should I experiment, or just dismiss it? Is this normal?

I’m all for experimenting! You never know until you try. No matter the outcome, you’ll know for certain where you stand afterwards. You’re into, you’re not into, you’re kinda into it, whatever! As long as you tried.

It may very well be that you just think two women are hot together, but it’s not what you want for yourself, or you may be starting to discover a new side to your sexuality. Who knows? Give it a shot!

IT IS ABSOLUTELY 100% NORMAL TO BE EXPERIENCING THIS.

My boyfriend ate me out for the first time today and i could feel i was really close but i just couldnt cum…. What should i do to help that happen….?

Deep breathing and relax, let your mind go. That’s the best advice I can give. Plus, it was your first time where he did that so it’s only natural that you were perhaps a bit nervous and tense because of that.

I sometimes wish i was a girl so i could experience the same thing they do, is that bad in anyway?

No? I love that you wonder what it’s like! Personally, I’ve wondered what it’s like to be on the guy’s end – to know what they feel. The world would be a better and much less confusing place if we got to gender swap for a time. Even if only for sex!

Is it weird how i think of my girlfriend naked and masturbate to her?

Of course not! In fact, you should tell your girlfriend that you do that. She’ll most likely be flattered that you picture her when there’s so many other people you could think about. It’s huge turn on and a nice self esteem boost to know that your bf/gf is fantasizing about you when they touch themselves. Why on earth would you think that it’s weird? It’s GREAT!

Everyone masturbates – even when you’re in a committed sexual relationship. In that situation you would just hope that you have less time to masturbate because you’re actually having sex…lol.

FOLLOWER PARTICIPATION TIME! I NEED YOUR HELP!

So about 90% of my ask box is constantly filled with questions from girls/women about masturbating.

…I can only answer this question so often and I can only give one perspective – my own. That’s not good enough because everyone is different and everyone likes different things. One method might work amazingly for some while the same method will do nothing for others.

So what to do?

I need you – all of you females that follow me (sorry boys, next time) – to message me or send me a fanmail or reply to this post with some of the ways that YOU like to masturbate.

I’ll repeat: TELL ME HOW YOU LIKE TO MASTURBATE.

You can be anon, it doesn’t matter. I’m not going to reply to your message. What I’m going to do is compile a list of at least 10 different ways to masturbate (hopefully you guys will give me more than that) and then I’m going to post it for everyone to see as a “master list” of sorts. Then I can have that for anyone else in the future to see if they need ideas for how to masturbate.

No names will be used. I just need ideas! I need you to tell me what works for you and it needs to be as detailed as you can be. No “I use toys” or “I watch porn”. DETAILS! What toys specifically? How exactly do you touch yourself when you watch porn, and what kind of porn are you watching, and where are you watching it, etc? What is your surefire, go-to, method to orgasm?

Don’t worry about being “weird” or “unusual”. IF IT WORKS, IT WORKS. There’s no judgment here! And the stuff that we don’t typically hear about is exactly the kind of thing other women need to know! Because maybe that’s exactly what they’ve been looking for!

I’m sure there will be many that overlap so the goal is to have at least 10 distinctly different ways to masturbate. This is to help others so please don’t be shy! Who knows? You may discover something new to try yourself! That’s the whole point!

Exchange secrets, ladies!

It’s time to get this masturbation issue solved once and for all.

So message me or even just reply here, whatever you feel comfortable with. Fan mail is ideal if your response is too long for the usual ask box message. Remember, I’m not giving out names. This is just going to be a compiled list. NOW START TYPING AND HIT SEND!

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