Author: sumptuousdaydreams

this isn’t an ask (awks) but thank you so much for telling the middle school kid to wait, normally people are all “do what feels right maaaaan” but thank you for being a reality check in someones life.

No need to thank me! It’s just the truth. It horrifies me that more and more kids are becoming sexually active when they’ve barely even hit puberty (or even before!). It’s a very dangerous trend and it’s only getting worse. There is no good that can come from an 11-13 year old having sex.

There’s NO RUSH. Sex will happen. Rushing into it at a young age is basically guaranteeing yourself a bad experience(s). Just wait! Not because adults tell you to or because it’s a “rule” – wait because it’s in YOUR best interest and it’s how YOU will end up enjoying sex more. Don’t wait because other people tell you to, wait because it’s for you.

To be honest, I’m really scared to have sex with my girlfriend. I’m really self conscious about my genitals. My labia is CRAZY uneven. Sometimes I personally enjoy it, but I get scared that she’ll get freaked out by it. I’ve had sex before but it was meaningless and I was drunk. Any advice to get over the anxiety and fear?

Pussy confidence. You gotta find yours.

Longer labia means more sexual pleasure for you so OF COURSE you enjoy it. Tell your girlfriend that you feel insecure about it. Be honest and let her know how you’re feeling. She’ll understand and she’ll reassure you that she’s not at all freaked out. There’s nothing to be freaked out about! Everyone’s pussy looks different. If she knows you’re feeling weird about it, then it’ll won’t be the awkward “pink elephant in the room”…or awkward pink vagina in the room…

Just come clean, be honest about your insecurities, and realize that there’s nothing weird about your pussy! You like it! So everyone else should too! If they don’t, then you’re not dating the right people! Best thing to do is lay your feelings out on the table so there’s no doubts, but always remember that YOU have to accept yourself first before anyone else can.

So find your pussy confidence.

Please help! I have this friend, we’ve always flirted etc but its never been anything more because he doesnt see me in that way. But he came to mine last week and was REALLY flirting with me to the point where we nearly had sex, im not sure why we didnt. but anyway hes coming to mine saturday night and i know something will happen, i want something to happen, but hes only been with slim girls and im bigish and im worried ill get insecure and put him off or he will see me naked and not want me.

If you’re to the point where you guys are naked…he’s not going to be turned off or even think about stopping unless you want him to or a tornado rips through the room. He’s already made his decision about whether or not he thinks you’re attractive because he’s flirting and fooling around with you!

Forget who he’s been with in the past. It’s all about you right now! He’s spending time with YOU, not them. If you want something to happen, make your move.

Confidence is easily the sexiest quality a guy or girl can have. So even if you don’t always feel it, try faking it a little bit. Believe it or not, that will actually help it become more true in some weird way. It’s like you trick your brain into thinking you’re more confident than you thought you were.

Okay, so I’m kind of embarrassed about something, although I’m not sure if I should be. When my boyfriend and I fool around, I get really really wet. Like, ridiculously wet. My boyfriend actually used the expression, “flood your pants”. And it’s from like two seconds after we start making out. Is that weird?

DO NOT BE EMBARRASSED.

It’s a really…really good thing. 😀 When you start having sex, you’re going to be ecstatic that you get that wet so easily. You won’t be worrying about lube for a long, long time… 😉

There’s nothing to be embarrassed about. It’s actually really hot! Everyone wants to make a girl wetter than ever! Everyone you’re with is going to think that they’re the best partners ever because you’re soaked through all the time!

Downside? You have to change your underwear more often… But it’s a small price to pay for something so fantastic!!! Enjoy it!

I am 21 and a virgin and I am not stupid and I know when I have sex it will hurt the first time, but I was curious how badly does it it hurt?

It varies for everyone. It really depends on how much your hymen has been stretched already. If you play(ed) sports, horseback ride, use tampons, masturbate with penetration, all or any of those things would impact your hymen. So you could experience some pain to no pain at all.

Unless you have a rare medical condition, it shouldn’t hurt much at all. (Ie. If you have an imperforate hymen, that would make it very painful, but the condition only occurs in about 2% of the female population and you would know by now if you have that.)

The stretching of your vaginal walls takes some getting used to if you’re not using tampons or masturbating with penetration. That’s what makes it the most uncomfortable and it will probably take 2 or 3 times for you to really enjoy sex because your body needs time to adjust to the intrusion and expand itself the way it knows how to do.

The best way to make your first time the least painful, most enjoyable, is to do a HELL of a lot of foreplay, be soaking wet/aroused, and have an orgasm before any penetration occurs. Have your partner eat you out, or masturbate, or even hump them until you come. After an orgasm, your vaginal walls naturally widen and your muscles relax so it’s much easier for you to enjoy.

You could also have your partner finger you gently until you can feel yourself opening up and start experiencing pleasure.

If you’re tense, nervous, bracing yourself, clenching your muscles, that will only make it hurt more. Do it right. Relax. Take your time. Enjoy every moment that leads up to it because foreplay at this stage is far more important than the actual act of intercourse. Don’t worry about pain because it won’t be anything like you’re thinking.

so there’s this guy im kind of long distance dating but rn its basically just sexting, and its usually pretty fuckin great with lots of pics and sometimes we go on a skype call for some of it, and tonight i thought he was acting weird while we were sexting and i asked him what was wrong and he said he wasnt turned on at all and that he had already jacked off a bunch earlier that day (even though we do this almost every night). do i have a right to be upset?

Technically, no. I mean, you’re basically being mad at him for not being in the mood. Would you feel that’s fair if the situation was reversed and he was upset with you for not getting turned on one night?

My guess is that your feelings were hurt because you took it more as “he’s not turned on by ME” rather than he’s just tired. He might have even been lying about jacking off because he wanted a better explanation for simply not being up for sexting. Do you guys ever just talk? Or maybe he wasn’t lying and he really did masturbate a lot that day and wasn’t able to keep going later with you (he would have been kicking himself for that).

It was just one night. Maybe you guys should sext every other night instead, take the pressure off the “almost every night” thing. Less frequent, more intensity. If he continues to act weird and not get into it that much, then you might want to ask him what’s REALLY going on.

Otherwise, no, don’t be upset with him. If you’re frustrated, just take care of yourself. He has every right to say no…even if it stings a little bit when he does. As long as it doesn’t become a habit, you guys are fine and it was just a one time thing.

The thing I’m most nervous about when it comes to being sexual, is what if I can’t make my boyfriend cum? I’m a virgin and have no experience. Like none. I definitely wear the pants in the relationship. He never brings up anything about sex because he knows I’m a virgin and all. He’s had sex before and it makes me nervous as fuck. I’m so used to being the ‘boss’ in the relationship I guess. Idk. Any advice?

He will cum.

I will bet every cent I own that he will orgasm when you have sex (unless he has some medical issue). Seriously, you do not need to worry about that. Not at all. Honestly, there’s a better chance of you being hit by a bus while on your way to have sex with him than him not cumming.

Focus on yourself in the beginning because you’re new to this. Focus on your pleasure and what works for you. That’s your number one goal. Once you start feeling more confident, you can start taking more control over things in bed and feel better about taking turns “driving” with him. He will benefit from this approach just as much as you will.

(From the peanut gallery: denjiro7 said: Additionally, if the guy doesn’t cum, it’s more likely due to issues HE is experiencing than anything you are doing.)