Author: sumptuousdaydreams

Here’s a dilemma I have: I find lesbian girls extremely attractive, especially some of the “butch” (sorry for using it, lack of a better word) girls. I’ve imagine myself having sex, making love, fooling around, etc with my friends who are STRICTLY lesbians. The issue is I’m a male. What happens if you fall for a lesbian from birth? What do you do then as a guy? I always wonder is it possible to have a healthy, loving and safe relationship involving 3 people who are willingly open?

You certainly do have a dilemma. Lesbians are called lesbians for a reason: they don’t want to be with a man. At all. They want women. If they were going to be in a poly-amorous relationship, it would be with two other women! (And bigamy is a very messed up road to go down… I wouldn’t attempt it.)

What is it about your lesbian friends that attracts you to them? Their personalities? Their masculine energy? Their independence? Their lifestyle? There are plenty of “butch” women out there that are straight or bisexual – therefore interested in being with a man. You don’t have to be gay to have that kind of personality/energy.

Maybe you’re attracted to the unattainable. Being the only man to ever make a lesbian enjoy a heterosexual relationship. You want to be the GOD that changed their lives the way no one else could. It’s a heady sexual power trip. Makes for some good fantasies.

Or maybe you’re attracted to them because they’re safe. Lesbians would reject you for just being a man. You don’t have to be afraid of them turning you down for any other personal reason. There’s no risk, no chance, no opportunity, so maybe you find comfort in that, in the fact that you can’t ever be with them so there’s no chance of being hurt. That’s something easy to fantasize about.

I’m just theorizing. I don’t know why you’re drawn to lesbians, but you have to figure it out for yourself and change something because it is never going to work out for you this way.

Lesbians = women who want women. Which isn’t to say that you can’t have many lesbian friends, but they don’t want to be with you romantically, sexually, or have anything more than a platonic relationship.

You don’t stand a chance so give up whatever delusion you might have about being with a lesbian and start focusing on what it is about the QUALITIES your lesbian friends possess that make you attracted to them. I don’t think you want to sleep with them because they like to sleep with women. There’s something else there. Figure out what.

okay lately ive been having a huge issue. at first I thought it was crabs but I have no pubic hair so it couldn’t be. my labias itch extremely badly, to the point where I have to sit down and itch for quite a few minutes. only the lips itch, nothing internal. they also seem more dry then normal. its become super uncomfortable and I hate it. im 16 and am sexually active with my boyfriend… he has been with other people but I know he doesn’t have an std. thoughts?

Okay, well there’s an easy answer and then a more complicated one.

Easy: Itchiness is common when pubic hair is growing back. You said you have none, so that means you shave or wax. Your hair starts growing back very quickly and it usually gets itchy.

Or it could just be dry skin! Like you would have anywhere else.

Complicated: You’re right, it could be an STI, a bacterial infection, or a yeast infection. So make an appointment with your doctor. Read here about another possible cause. Unless you have the results of your boyfriend’s STI screening in your hand that proves he doesn’t have anything, then I’m sorry, but you still have to consider him a risk.

Either way, if it concerns you enough to ask me, then it means you need to talk to your doctor and figure out for sure what’s going on down there. Whatever it is, you need to know for sure in case you require treatment. I’m not a medical professional so I can’t help you here.

I’m still a virgin and today my boyfriend was fingering me and took his cock out and I didn’t even notice until later on. I put my underwear back on before I gave him head so cum couldn’t get near my vag or anything but I know he grabbed his dick a couple times before he went back to fingering me and now I’m really afraid that he got pre-cum or something in there. (I am on the patch but I have no way of telling how effective it is.) Am I just being paranoid? Thanks.

You’re being paranoid. 😉

Ortho Evra (the patch) is said to be just as effective as the pill. And it’s highly unlikely that you were at any risk for pregnancy based on what you described. You’re fine.

Is foreplay a must for good sex? Just wondering because my boyfriend always likes the foreplay part more than I do.

If you’re not enjoying foreplay, you’re doing it wrong.

PSA

Everyone please block/ignore the blog lesbian-en-skate. DO NOT reblog anything with this user as the source!

Every single post on her blog is stolen. When I requested that she remove the ones she stole from me, she not only ignored me, but went on to post more of my gifs as her own. Just to spite me? It’s silly.

What makes it even worse it that sometimes she’ll steal a gif and then edit it to black and white and put her tag on it so it “appears” as if its hers (though it turns the quality of the gif into shit). You’d think someone who goes through all that effort to steal and change things like that, she could just make her own gifs?

Send her a message to let her know you don’t approve of stealing or just block her, but we have to let bloggers out there know that this is unacceptable. Tumblr is unique for its reblogging feature, so why not use it?

Don’t support any blog that reposts/steals! I make every effort to ensure that what I reblog is, in fact, from the ORIGINAL source. You should too!

Is it weird that I don’t like really rough or dirty sex? I’ve had sex a couple of times before and when someone gets too dirty it turns me off because I’m a bit scared of someone not stopping after all. Some of my past relationships have ended because of it.

It’s not weird at all. Everyone is into different things. Some people like really dirty, rough sex and some people don’t. Sex is about pleasing you —so if you’re not into that, let your partner know. The number one thing here is communication, if someone is taking things in a direction that you don’t want to go then you should talk to them about it.

And as far as ending the relationship, if someone really cares about you, they’ll be willing to work with you on what turns you on and off. And if they’re not, well, move on because they’re not worth your time anyway. A relationship shouldn’t be one sided.

-teagan.

P.S.

It sounds like one of your biggest roadblocks is trust; trusting your partner. You said you were worried they might cross a line, not that anyone has ever crossed it. That’s where trust comes in. Discuss your concerns with your partner, draw a clear line about what is acceptable for you, then trust them to respect that. Over time, trust builds and the line might be slowly pushed back. Fear of what MIGHT happen seems to be stopping you from enjoying anything being done in the moment. You worry about what’s coming next instead of enjoying what you’re doing right then. That’s why you need trust.

If you set the rules, you then have to trust your partner to follow them. Hopefully once they prove themselves to be respectful and reliable, to do as you ask and not do anything that makes you uncomfortable, then you, in turn, will actually feel MORE comfortable about loosening the reins a bit and exploring.

Not everyone likes it rough, so you’re not alone or “weird” for that, but don’t let it frighten you, okay? You have the power and CONTROL over what happens. Not enjoying it is one thing, being afraid of it is another thing entirely.

I’m a girl and I’m not new to sex, but I do have an issue. I have never came, or orgasmed, except while masturbating. All my male partners cum before I even get close and it discourages me. I’d like to experience it with someone. Advice please?

Well, first of all, find some new partners.  Sure, it’s always possible that you’re not going to come every time — but you shouldn’t feel uncomfortable just because it takes a bit more work for you to climax. They’re being pretty shitty if they’re simply cumming, and then forgetting that you haven’t.  Maybe they simply don’t want to acknowledge that they didn’t please you, or maybe they’re just assholes, but as in most things in life — communication is key!

Find someone that is willing to work with you to find out what you like.  Maybe it’s simply that they’re rushing through the sex, and you’re not experiencing the pleasure you should be.  Try different positions, try more foreplay, anything to help build you up and get you really aroused and ready for sex.  That being said, climaxing simply from penetration is a rarity for a lot of women, so don’t be afraid to spice it up and add some clit stimulation.  You can touch yourself, have your partner touch you, or maybe even incorporate a small vibrator so that you really enjoy yourself.

There are tons of options, and it’s just about exploring what works for you. We all want to experience pleasure, and it’s important to find someone that cares about pleasuring you, as much as they care about being pleasured themselves.

-teagan.

Do guys care about hair down there? Because i normally shave but when i do, it grows back like the next day, im scared that when i become sexually active its gonna be prickly down there

First of all, if a guy isn’t going to have sex with you because you have pubic hair — you’re not missing anything.  Secondly, it’s your vagina! Do what you want with it! If you want to shave — shave! If you want to wax — wax! If you want to grow that shit like a jungle and braid it, go the fuck ahead.  It’s your body, and it’s your choice. 

We like to impose our own views about what is and isn’t proper on one another and ourselves, when in reality it is a completely minor issue.  Shave, don’t shave, whatever.  That’s up to you.  But, don’t let whether a guy is going to find it attractive dictate what you do.

-teagan.