Author: sumptuousdaydreams

just wanted to get your thoughts on this. my aunt and i were having a conversation and i mentioned that i’d like to stay a virgin until i’m married because i don’t want a relationship based on sex, having a child and baby daddy problems and i don’t want to catch a STI. she understood my reasoning, but she said i should have sex so i won’t marry a guy who likes sex so much that he cheats on me. i understand what she’s saying but i’m also like the relationship must have been weak in the 1st place.

While I don’t agree with your aunt’s reasoning (that just sounds absurd to me), I am with her on the fact that waiting isn’t necessary and it’s not something I would recommend.

If that’s what you want, then of course that’s your right! But personally I think you need to test drive the car before you buy it…

Having sex doesn’t automatically mean the relationship is based on sex. Build a relationship and have sex be a part of it. You can be safe; there’s plenty of different birth control options and STI prevention that are extremely effective when used correctly.

Don’t have sex because you think it’s going to keep him from cheating or something later on – I mean, I don’t even understand that theory – but you should have sex so you can see what your sexual chemistry is.

You could have every single aspect of your relationship lined up perfectly: they’re your best friend, you spend every day with them, you can’t get enough, the sexual tension is crazy, you can’t wait, and then you get in bed… *bomb whistle*

It’s happened many…many…many times. Everything could be absolutely perfect and then the chemistry just isn’t there! If you want to commit to someone for the rest of your life, I think you should know what you’re getting into. What if they have performance problems? What if it’s terrible!? What if you committed to this person that you love, but your sex life is horribly boring and you realize you would have known it wasn’t the right fit if you’d been with them BEFORE making that commitment!

Marriage, relationships, being in love…it’s not based on sex, but sex is an INTEGRAL part of it. Without it, you’re just hanging out with your platonic best friend.

Those are my thoughts. But it’s just an opinion. If you disagree, then do what you feel is right for YOU. Everyone’s different. 🙂 Good luck!

im a lesbian and i watch gay (men) porn. i know its not the “norm” for my sexuality but lesbian porn is almost always painfully heterosexual. its geared towards straight men, gay porn is geared towards homosexuals. so personally i find that more arousing than two women. i know its not weird. hell, barely anythings weird when it comes to porn. im just putting this out there because other people might as well know that its okay to like whatever you like, despite your sexuality.

Thank you for writing in!

It’s all about personal preference! If it’s not hurting anyone, there’s nothing wrong with it!

My boyfriend wants anal and I’m alright with that but I’m nervous because I haven’t done it before and I don’t know what to do or what to expect and it’s making me feel a little anxious I was wondering whether you could offer me any advice?

Asked and answered! Check Sex Advice tags page. There’s one very clearly labeled “anal sex” okay?

what if a guy massages his own prostate as he jacks off? is that gay?

NO!

It’s called PLEASURE. Jeez! Men and women have different erotic hot spots. The prostate is a major hot spot for men, there’s a concentration of nerve endings there. Too many men are insecure about their sexuality which leads to questions like yours: is it a “gay thing” to massage my prostate?

Stimulating the prostate actually intensifies a man’s orgasm and can delay ejaculation which makes it a good thing for BOTH parties involved! Men have their “g-spot” there, just as women have their own “g-spot”. It’s absurd to deny yourself pleasure just because you think it’s this weird, stigma thing that will turn you gay if you try it.

No! You have an erotic hot spot, use it! More women would absolutely utilize it during sex if guys weren’t so uptight about it. They really would not have a problem with slipping a finger up there while giving you a BJ. It’s the “taboo” weirdness that straight guys place on it that ends up making you ignore a really fantastic source of pleasure. This is not about your sexuality! It’s about orgasms and making them better! It’s WHO you want to fuck, not HOW you fuck.

Anal play does not make you gay. Having sex with men makes you gay.

It’s really that simple.

there’s nothing wrong with a straight guy watching gay “guy” porn, right?

SEX IS SEX.

There is no right or wrong here. Don’t be ridiculous. Gay porn is often rough and hard, which can be such a turn on, even if you’re not into anal or two men.. You can jack off to two guys fucking without wanting to actually fuck a guy yourself.

BUT if you wanted to fuck a guy too…that’s OKAY.

I get questions every day from straight girls who ask me if they’re gay if they’re turned on by lesbian porn.

The answer is NO. You do not have to be gay or bisexual to enjoy same sex porn. Sex is hot. Good sex is even hotter. That’s all it is. Doesn’t matter what the gender is.

Hi, I’m in an awesome relationship with the most wonerful boy on earth. We have sex maybe once in a week, it’s pretty good, we both cum everytime but it’s pretty boring actually. I’ve told him many times that I want him to pull my hair, bite my neck etc and fuck me really hard, but he’s so careful, says he doesn’t want to hurt me and so on… What should I do? We have been together for 7 months and we always do the same stuff. And he doesn’t want me to give him oral sex witch is disturbing.

What is his reasoning for not wanting you to go down on him? Maybe if you figure out what he’s REALLY worried about then you guys can fix the problem.

I’d also try to push the envelope a little bit with him in bed. Just test the waters to see how he reacts when you get a little rough. If you want to go hard, get on top and fuck him senseless. Show him that it doesn’t hurt you and how good it can be. Don’t go too far though and make him uncomfortable, just try something a little outside the norm and see if he’s okay with it.

So talk and try to take the lead a bit.

Both my girlfriend and I are 18 (We’re both girls), we plan on having sex tomorrow for the first time. We’re both very clean people who’s never even touched/been touched by another person. I understand that there is a low to no risk of any sort of disease spreading so should I be concerned? What are some ways to be safe and have fun?

Asked and answered. Come on guys… Check the tags! Don’t make me keep repeating the same things over and over. The answers aren’t going to change.

My boyfriend wants to eat me out and I’m totally on board with it. I guess I wanted to check with you (my tumblr sexpert lol) and get pubic hair advice? I’ve shaved down there before and it ends up itchy and once it starts growing back I can’t shave it again until it’s longer because it pulls on the hairs and hurts. So, would it be more enjoyable for him if I was shaved down there or can I simply trim? I understand it’s my body and my choice, I just want to maximize the experience for both of us

Every guy is different. Some like it completely shaved, others appreciate a bush, it’s a very personal preference. Why don’t you try asking him what he’d like? It’s your decision, obviously, but if it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other then why not get his thoughts on it?

If you want to avoid the prickly regrowth issue, shave the same day you plan to have him go down on you. Hair really isn’t that big of a deal as long as you keep it neat and maintained! How much you want to shave is up to you and your partner’s preference.

It is nice to ask them what they like because they’re the ones down there doing the work, but it still doesn’t mean they can dictate what you do. It’s just an opinion to take into consideration. 😉

Check the tags to see my tips on shaving pubic hair!