Author: sumptuousdaydreams

I’m curious, if being asked the same questions over and over upsets you, why not just ignore them? I love your blog and i hate seeing how upset you get over this. If they’re too lazy to look to their right to see the SEX ADVICE label, well then fuck ’em. Now back to the porn. also, can you post some people of color? thanks!

I do ignore many repetitive questions, but it bothers me because I don’t want people to think I’m blowing them off. It’s frustrating because I want people to get the answers they need, I just wish they would take the time to THINK about where to get them.

And what kind of PoC porn are you looking for? It’s hard to find black girls doing lesbian porn and usually minorities are in the hardcore, kinky stuff that I’m just not into. It’s a shame cause there are some gorgeous people out there, they just do really bad porn.

I have a really sensitive clit and I don’t last very long while masturbating (I know it doesn’t really affect my partner) but is there any way I can prolong my orgasm? Whenever I try to go slow it seems like I can’t find the right spot? I’m talking only minutes to get off. I checked your sex advice page and I didn’t find anything along the lines of it. Thank you!

Wait, you’re complaining about orgasming TOO QUICKLY?

Hun…YOU’RE A WOMAN, NOT A MAN. Have fucking 10 orgasms then! 20!!! Why on earth would you stop at one??? Have them over and over and over again! Our bodies are built for it!

YOU’VE BEEN GIVEN A GIFT! USE IT!!!!!!

How do i give a blow job? I’m kind of worried it won’t go well. I’ve never done it before and I’m nervous

Guys, I’m not going to keep replying to these. CHECK THE SEX ADVICE TAGS PAGE. There’s a freaking “How To” tag! I give you detailed tips and step by step plays!

If you go to the blog, on the right hand side, under “pages” it says Sex Advice Tags. There’s a neatly organized, categorized list of all the posts I’ve made about these questions. If you don’t take the time to check that first, why should I bother to take the time to answer your question? Questions that I HAVE ALREADY ANSWERED – IN DETAIL.

It’s really frustrating for me, okay? I’m happy to help, but I’m tired of the same questions in my inbox that I’ve already answered when all you have to do is look at the tags.

I am not going to reply to these anymore. If you’ve messaged me and I don’t answer, it’s because I’ve already answered it.

^This is from another blog that has the same problem as my inbox. I get these kinds of questions DAILY. And I can only answer so many without constantly repeating myself.

All of you that keep messaging me about being straight but being turned on/wanting to hook up with girls…

Stop calling yourself straight. You’re putting a label on yourself that limits your sexuality. You want to kiss a girl? Kiss a girl. You want to kiss a guy? Kiss a guy.

The world is not black and white. Sexuality is not as linear as society wants it to be. We are all over the spectrum. Stop panicking over what you think you should be versus what you want. Just let yourself be. Do what you want to do. Stop questioning it.

ENJOY IT. REVEL IN IT. EXPLORE.

How do you have rough sex? My gf (we are both girls) seems to really want it but i have no idea how to? the idea turns me on as much as it scares me. Im not really sure if i am scared because i have no idea what to do or the idea that i might hurt her; though i think it is both actually. Any advice for a first timer? She thinks i am too vanilla and i want to tell her i am not just that i am not sure how to

Take baby steps. You don’t have to jump in all at once. Try little things to experiment and see how it works for you, WHAT works for you. Being rough doesn’t mean you have to start slapping her around and flogging her!

Try some light spanking, scratching, hair pulling, biting, dirty talk. Have a safe word. Test each other’s limits, learn them. You could bind her hands and use a strap on, that’s hot, and it’s not overly rough, it’s more about dominance.

Try being more dominant, exerting more power during sex, more authority, more control. That’s where you start and that’s how you can show her that you’re not so vanilla after all. SHOW, don’t just tell. 😉

Rough sex is not always about the kinky stuff with toys – it starts with the psychological elements of dominant and submissive. One partner usually likes a little pain and the other likes to take control and get an adrenaline rush that way. It’s different for everyone. Don’t be afraid to get into it. That’s what a safe word is for, just in case anyone oversteps, and that’s how you learn limits. You can’t hold back otherwise it won’t be as good.

Talk about your fantasies. Discuss the things, kinks, that turn you on or that you’ve always thought about wanting to try. Let yourself go, let your emotions take over, find your baser sexual urges and tap into them! Getting rough requires trust and sexual freedom. If you don’t have sexual self confidence, then you’re not going to be able to release yourself fully.

Trust, let go, and fuck your girl exactly the way you want to fuck her.

Check out this article for more specific tips.

My friends and classmates sometimes ask me in private about things related to sex because I have somewhat of a reputation of being experienced. However Im not a certified anything and Im afraid I could be giving bad advice because Im working off personal experience but I feel pressured to reply anyway. How did you get so knowledgeable about these sorts of things?

I listen. I read. I draw from experience. I’m not a certified anything either.

You can give advice, but always stress that it’s an opinion – nothing more. People can choose whether or not to take your advice – that’s their decision. You take the risk of being wrong or having it not work out for them and they might blame you. It’s the risk of giving advice. So be careful.

And if you don’t know the answer, don’t ever pretend to know it. Be honest above all. 🙂

If i masturbate often (clitoral) can that make me lose sensitivity? Like will that make my orgasms become less intense

For women, no. (Men: see below.) The whole experience changes the more often you masturbate and have sex because you start to learn different things about how your body works AND you also start to RECOGNIZE the feelings that are building up in you.

When you first start masturbating, all the feelings and sensations are so new and overwhelming, you have no idea what to do with them and how to process it. Later on, you know what to expect, the newness isn’t there anymore, HOWEVER, this does not mean less sensitivity.

You actually experience more powerful orgasms as you experiment sexually because you figure out how to maximize your pleasure. It’s just a different feeling than the first few times you had an orgasm because back then it was NEW, not stronger, just NEW. Women don’t lose sensitivity, we gain experience.

MEN! Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for you! Yes, you do lose sensitivity when you masturbate frequently – especially when you jack off roughly. If you grip yourself too hard and you’re too “FULL THROTTLE!” when you beat off, you lose sensitivity in your dick and it makes it more difficult for you to cum when actually having sex. What good is a soft, warm pussy when your hand has had your dick in a vice grip every other day of the week? You’re fucking yourself over and not in a good way!

Guys, take the foot off the pedal when jacking off. Do it less frequently and loosen your damn grip. If all you want is your hand to share your nights with, then by all means, ignore what I’m trying to tell you. 😉

Thought I’d share something that drives me crazy, and this seems like the appropriate blog: When a girl is wearing panties or short shorts, and it pulls up tight against her crotch. And when she leans forward, you can see the dips and creases of her thighs, and where her thighs and butt and vulva meet, with her pussy out of view but just /right there/. Don’t know why, but it gets me going immediately. (Female btw, sexual orientation: !?!?!?)

I’m sorry, what’s the question? I got distracted…

Hi I was wondering if I could get advice or tips on pleasing girls? My boyfriend and I are having a threesome soon and I have never done anything with a girl besides hook up with them. I am attracted to girls and still trying to figure out if I could be bisexual or not. I watch a lot of lesbian porn and so far I have been very turned on while kissing another female, It’s just I have never found the right girl to find out with. I am very nervous that I won’t be able to please the other girl right

I think you’re pretty much between a 2 and 3 on the Kinsey Scale… If not certainly a 3. You’re attracted to girls, you like making out with girls, etc. It just so happens that you haven’t found the right girl yet. That will happen eventually.

As for tips, check out the sex advice tags page.

But the easiest thing to stress is to trust your instincts. Think about what YOU like and then transfer it to her. You change and adapt according to the response she gives. Trust me, you’re not sexually inexperienced, you know what works to make yourself orgasm, now the tables are turned and you have to apply that knowledge to another girl. Maybe she’ll even teach you a thing or two… 😉