so i haven’t really talked to my ex for a while now, but when we do happen to talk (which is really rare), she would use this really condescending tone with me. I really don’t appreciate this, and I feel kinda hurt bc we used to be best friends, but how do I tell her that she’s being really mean in a much nicer way? Or should I just ignore her completely? Would prefer not to cut her out completely bc she was still my best friend.

Personally, I’m pretty straightforward. I would call her out on it in
the moment when she says something condescending. “Hey, that was pretty
condescending”, “okay, that was mean, why would you say that?”, or
“whoa, that was kinda rude, what’s up with that?”.

You just
gotta point it out to people in the moment and come from a calm
perspective of “where is this coming from?” If you get angry or heated
or super emotional, it usually makes people want to put up a wall or run
away from the conversation. So if you stay calm and you ask her why
she’s speaking to you that way, saying rude things, it’ll open up a
dialogue.

She’ll either not realize that’s how she’s coming
across and apologize or she’ll flat out deny it (maybe even turn it on
you and say you’re being too sensitive). Whatever her excuse, just be
honest and tell her that it’s hurtful.

The way she handles it
after you tell her that it’s hurtful will give you your answer. If she
continues to behave that way, deny that she’s doing anything wrong, and
even blame you, then this is not a person you want in your life. You
walk away from it knowing that you tried and she had a chance to turn it
around.

I hope it ends up working out better than that. Maybe
she’ll hear you, apologize, and make conscious decisions to change her
attitude. That would be great and I hope it happens. If it doesn’t,
please be kind to yourself and know that you don’t ever deserve to be
treated that way, no matter what. As much as it might hurt to walk away,
it’ll ultimately be the best gift you could give yourself.