I’ve caught my bf watching porn again after we’ve had several conversations about how worthless it makes me feel. It totally obliterates my self confidence/sexdrive were very active&i honestly just don’t know what to do to make him understand..

Well, I hate to point this out, but you are on a PORN blog right now… So isn’t it a bit hypocritical to be upset by him watching porn while you are clearly looking at porn as well?

Have you tried watching porn together? That can be hot! Instead of seeing it as a threat, integrate it into your sex life. It’s foreplay!

Men watch porn for a variety of reasons, but a big one is that it’s a routine de-stresser. It’s uncomplicated. It’s relaxing almost due to years of porn watching and masturbating. Like getting off to help you sleep! Just quick and easy, a way to physically release, like going for a jog or something! haha. It’s that straightforward, no emotions tied up in it.

Some men watch a lot of porn, some watch a little, some don’t watch any at all, but just because he watches porn – that doesn’t mean it’s a reflection of something lacking in your relationship.

If you’re concerned that he’s not satisfied with your sex life, why not ask him if there’s any fantasies he’d like to try? If you don’t feel comfortable with something he says, don’t ever feel pressured into it! It’s okay! He’ll accept that. But it’s good to talk about these things! Porn is just a release and an escape.

Allow him to be honest with you about his porn habits, try watching it with him sometimes. It’s something he likes to do and you’re not a fan of it, but he’s not hurting anyone or cheating on you, so compromise here. I honestly don’t think that it’s fair for you to ask him not to watch porn if it’s something he enjoys. If he was chatting up girls on porn sites and doing the webcam thing or watching some violent and disturbing shit – that’s a whole different story, but watching “busty blonde take a big cock” is not something to be concerned about.

If he feels like he has to hide it from you in order to not hurt your feelings, he’s gonna end up pushed into a lie and then you’ll “catch him” and it’s all very silly. Porn is just fantasy, you guys are the wonderful reality. I bet if anyone asked him about the sex life you guys have, he’d tell them it’s amazing (and he’d mean it).

Porn /=/ dissatisfaction.

You’re feeling insecure about your relationship and your sex life. That’s something to talk to him about. If he stopped watching porn, I guarantee that you’d find something else that would cause you anxiety and insecurity about your relationship. Porn’s not causing those feelings, they’re already there, and that’s what you need to work on.