So, my boyfriend has only had 2 sexual partners, including me. He was with the other girl for a few years so he’s been able to make her cum. I’ve been with multiple guys and never been able to cum. By boyfriend is really upset that he’s never been able to do it for me and it’s something we actually fight a lot about. The thing is that I’m not in to masturbating and I’m not sure how to guide him because what I like always changes. Any advice?

Hm, first I wouldn’t be so sure about the other one orgasming. Women tend to lie about it in order to not hurt their male partner’s feelings. It’s not a good thing to do and gives the men a skewed perception of what works and what doesn’t, but I do understand WHY women do it. When it comes down to it, sometime it’s just easier to tell that little white lie instead of the drama that comes with admitting that you didn’t “finish”. Sometimes you just want to sleep, dammit!

I digress.

I’ve given a lot of tips in the sex advice tags about orgasms and different positions to try. So check that out (including the “how to” tag!). The best advice I can give you is to keep trying different things.

– Be as relaxed as possible. Don’t think too much. Don’t try to control what your body is feeling. Give in to the pleasure – let go. Many women (without realizing it) actually fight against their own orgasms because it almost feels wrong to let our bodies take over without being able to keep a handle on it. No handles! No nothing! BE FREE!

– Find a rhythm and keep it.

– Experiment with going harder or slower (sometimes hard and rough will shock your system into a surprise orgasm, taking over before you have a chance to think too much – slow can build some of the most intense orgasms if you have the time).

Focus on your breathing – breathing deeply and evenly – as if you’re trying to draw the pleasure deeper into your body that way. You will actually feel your pleasure expand through your body as you draw deeper breaths.