I’m a 16 y/o girl. I can’t figure out if I’m bi or lesbian. I know I shouldn’t worry about labels, but I’m a teenager and labels are kind of our thing. Additionally, I’m terrified to come out to my conservative friends and family as lesbian to later have them think I’m “cured” if I end up with a guy. How can I sort this out? I like kissing guys but touching anything below their waist grosses me out. I’m definitely attracted to girls though. Please don’t blow me off, I don’t know who to talk to.

Even if you’re a teenager, why not be a mature teenager and tell everyone to fuck off? 😉

You’re keeping your options open right now. You like girls, you may or may not also like guys. Date people! Figure out what’s right for you.

You’re only 16. You do NOT need to have it all figured out by now. Please, name one freaking 16 year old that has their life completely sorted out? It’s a myth! People will pressure you, sure, but they’re WRONG to do that. You need to remember that and remind them of it as well. Some people discover certainty in their sexuality earlier than others, but there are so many people who won’t feel that way until they’re in their 20s or even 30s! There’s no rush.

This is your time to explore and find out who you are and what you like. If anyone has a problem with that, tell them to grow up. You like people. You want to date PEOPLE. Bisexual, lesbian, it doesn’t matter. You’re open to experiences. If they can’t understand that, that’s their problem. It’s YOUR life.

Don’t let the pressures of friends and family make you feel like you have to define who you are before you’re ready. Be strong. Stand up for yourself. Just because you’re a teenager, that doesn’t mean that you have to do what everyone else does – even if it feels that way. You have options, you can make different choices for yourself that’s not going to be what you see everyone else doing.

They’ll probably be dismissive of you and say you’re going through a phase and that you’ll end up realizing you’re straight after all. That’s okay. Who cares? You gave them fair warning! Just let them think what they need to think and focus on yourself. Don’t let anyone push you into a corner and demand that you define your sexual interests before you even get out of the starting gate.

You’ve barely entered this stage of your life! Who knows what the future will bring? Get ready to enjoy the ride and don’t let anyone strong arm you into slapping a label on yourself until YOU are certain of the one you want.