I’m a straight girl, I’ve been with my boyfriend for over a year now and I love him so much! I don’t consider myself ‘bi’ at all, because I would never want to date a girl. But I prefer sex with girls.. is this normal?

Why don’t you want to date a girl? What puts you off about it? Sex with them, sure, but not dating. Why?

If you enjoy having sex with girls, then you’re not straight. So just get that out of your head right now.

I guess you need to consider what it is you prefer so much about having sex with woman and compare it to what’s missing from your sex life with your boyfriend. What is it that you get from women that you’re not getting with him? Is it just the gender difference or is it something specifically that happens with women and not him? Do you get more aroused with girls? Is he less sexually experienced than the girls you’ve been with? Do you have a more intense sexual connection with girls than you do with him? Were the girls you’ve been with just simply better at identifying your needs and satisfying you than he is?

These are the kinds of questions you need to ask yourself. And it comes down to this: do you think he will ever (even with communication and more practice) be able to sexually satisfy and fulfill you the way you’ve been with other women?

I know you love him, but is he really fulfilling all your needs in the relationship? Obviously not because you’re here telling me you prefer sex with girls after a year of dating him. From my perspective, it seems like you’re holding onto the identity of being straight because the idea of ACTUALLY being bisexual, or even gay, scares the crap out of you. You can’t envision what that would be like because you don’t want to envision it. In your head, you’ve decided that if you just have sex with women then it doesn’t count and you’re still officially straight because you’re not emotionally connecting with women – therefore no worries! Totally straight.

WRONG. Sorry. Sex counts. Sex counts majorly. Huge. HUGE! It’s kind of the biggest point. Maybe you haven’t met the right girl yet that you want to be in a relationship with, but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t exist.

I think it’s time for a change. You could date another guy, see if that changes your view of sex, or maybe you could just take a shot and date a girl. Just to see what it would be like. You can’t judge it until you’ve experienced it.