ive been enjoying your post and also the great advise you seem to give. my situation is a tricky one, I’m a christian girl who has been attracted to girls lately, like thats all i seem to think about. to add to all this confusion I’m a virgin who is saving myself for marriage. so my issue it that i want to be with a girl but who? without no one finding out? and how would i go about finding someone with no ties to people who will know me from church. i want to have a secret relationship with a girl.
p.s. are you into girls? and if so how did you ask a girl. like there is no one i know really to experiment with. im kinda going crazy.
First of all, let’s get this straight. If you want to save yourself for marriage, sex is sex, so whether it’s with a male or a female you’re still having sex. Intercourse is usually what we refer to when people talk about saving themselves for marriage, but just because there is no penis involved, doesn’t mean you wouldn’t be having sex.
I understand it’s a bit more complex for you coming from a religious background, but the truth is you have to be willing to risk that someone will find out that you’re having relations with a girl. Of course, there’s nothing to be ashamed of, but you don’t have to broadcast it for the world, either. It’s your life and your choices, and you’re allowed to experiment with whomever you wish and have relationships with whomever you wish. Sure, some people in your church or community might judge you, but that’s a risk that you would take whether you were sleeping with a girl — or sleeping with the shady guy that everyone thinks is trouble. People are always going to make their judgments so you can’t stop living simply because of the fear of what other people think.
Having said that, as someone who is bisexual, I can understand the desire to have sex with another female. It can be an awesome experience. There are several ways for you to find someone to interact with, but you may already know someone that is interested. Maybe you have a friend who is curious, too, and they’d be open to experimenting a bit — talk to them about it, see where it goes. Sometimes people surprise you, and there’s nothing more interesting than finding out that someone is interested in the same thing you are — and afraid to open up about it, as well.
-teagan.
Sumptuous Daydreams 